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Most Inaccurate Lessons You Were Taught in School

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Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2567
Joined: 29 Aug 2009

Yeah, where did you go to school? Somethings up.

And no, not really. My teachers have generally been quite good. Occasionally, they may make a mistake (Maths), but nothing to "call them out on", especially when they realise they've made a mistake themselves.

Copy Clerk
Posts: 105
Joined: 18 Sep 2009

Captain Pancake:
My history teacher telling me it was criminal to buy stock then sell it.

I'm assuming that's what you do with stock, hell some people make a living out of buying and selling at the right times.

All stock is is an "IOU". You "own" a piece of the ompany so they know owe you money, though considering to buy stock someone else has too sell it. I guess someone forgot their brain that day, though it is illegal to trade in stocks if you have information that hasn't been released yet (for example a compahy is gonna announce it's going bust so you sell your stocks)

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1078
Joined: 7 Feb 2009

skyfire_freckles:
I was spinning a globe during free time in second grade, looking at all the continents, when I suddenly realized that Africa and South America would fit together almost perfectly. It made me think about what my dad had said about earthquakes, so I went to my teacher and explained my theory: that once upon a time, the continents had all been together once, but earthquakes had broken them apart over time.

She said, "No, of course not," like it was ridiculous. Then she went on to say that the world had always been just the way it was, and would never change.

What the hell?

Not to doubt the authenticity of your story but, I've heard that one about 20 times.

Copy Clerk
Posts: 105
Joined: 18 Sep 2009

A random person:
Probably everything I was taught in health class. A few classic claims are that tobacco contains radioactive compounds, men are 6'3" on average, and that eating McDonald's in moderation would get the same result as Morgan Spurlock in Supersize Me, because you're apparently taking in the same toxins and excesses, just at a slower rate.

Also, more of an omission, but my elementary and middle schools did not teach a difference between "than" and "then." I used "then" for everything and never got called on it or lost points for it.

toxins in mcdonalds? who let that douche teach? The cigarette thing is correct albeit in tiny amounts,not suprising considering that there are more than 2000 different compounds in the things.

Muckraker
Posts: 324
Joined: 20 Mar 2009

UltraParanoia:
I was taught that everyone is equal.

What a load of horseshit that turned out to be. My boobs aren't anywhere near as awesome as the ones on the wimmenfolk.

Well everyone is equal in their rights. Well at least in America that's true.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3320
Joined: 20 Apr 2009

epsilon246:

A random person:
Probably everything I was taught in health class. A few classic claims are that tobacco contains radioactive compounds, men are 6'3" on average, and that eating McDonald's in moderation would get the same result as Morgan Spurlock in Supersize Me, because you're apparently taking in the same toxins and excesses, just at a slower rate.

Also, more of an omission, but my elementary and middle schools did not teach a difference between "than" and "then." I used "then" for everything and never got called on it or lost points for it.

toxins in mcdonalds? who let that douche teach? The cigarette thing is correct albeit in tiny amounts,not suprising considering that there are more than 2000 different compounds in the things.

My social studies teacher pointed out that soil has trace amounts of radioactive compounds, so that's where they may come from.

As for toxins in McDonald's, she apparently thought that fat and other things in their food keep building up and will eventually make you end up like Morgan Spurlock. And yes, she apparently has heard of the excretory system.

Muckraker
Posts: 324
Joined: 20 Mar 2009

Naheal:
Elementary school. We were taught that the American Revolution "sounded the bell for freedom around the world" and "was fought for freedom" when in reality, it was a small colony in the middle of nowhere and what we were really fighting for was the idea that we didn't want to pay taxes to the Brits.

They were actually mad at the Brits for taking away their town meetings, quartering soldiers in the colonists house against their own will, not allowing them their own self-rule. Taxing was one of them, but those are the other reasons.

Press Junketeer
Posts: 360
Joined: 21 Jan 2009

You will have homework and papers exactly like this in college. I barley have any homework and i have papers but it's nothing what i did like in high school.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 813
Joined: 17 Feb 2008

thepj:

Datalord:

Rex Dark:
Dividing by zero is impossible.

Yeah, but getting a real number as a result is, you always end up with either positive infinity, negative infinity, or nothing at all, not zero, nothing, which is why precalc spend so much time teaching how to avoid zero's in the denominator of a limit, so that when you get to derivatives in calc, you know to divide out the "h" before taking the limit

[inyourface]

how about zerodivided by zero, by all logic that makes 1

[inyourface]

if i had zero apples and i divided them by zero apples I'd have zero apples? makes perfect sense to me :)

Copy Clerk
Posts: 105
Joined: 18 Sep 2009

crudus:
My 8th grade science teacher told us that too much of anything can kill you...except water. I argued with her for 5 minutes before she wrote me up and sent me to the office. Too much water can kill you. Either over time where you get kidney failure or at once where your body just drowns(I think).

She also said that there is no absolute zero scale for the English system. It's Rankine! its -459.67F. Argued with her for 3 minutes on this before she sent me to the office. We had another argument involving the unit of mass for the English system too which is the Slug.

Maybe this is just convention but, mercury is in these thermometers(the ones with the red stuff in them) and will kill you if you drink it/touch it. Pretty sure we switched to that organic substance so that wouldn't happen.

open trap:
my health teacher said all guys used to have vaginas before we were born. that may go for every one else but my friend has been there forever

Well, the default for human is female.

lenin_117:

pimppeter2:
x=6

but it can also equal 1 2 4 35 252 62 241 5426 73 33 5255 and every number you can think of

MATH IS A LIE

What you said doesn't have to be true. In the case of X+7=12, X=5 and no other number.

sure it can. Just change the base you are using.

Yeah you can drown in your own fluids (though to much of anything can crush you).
The human default is female (that's why me have nipples) but sexual organs don't grow until hormones kick in at which point they become distinct between genders

And that's algebra "x" is just a variable.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1430
Joined: 22 Feb 2008

Pseudonym2:
Where did you go school?
I recommend reading Lies My Teacher Told Me.

My teacher last year recommends that book with all his heart. His class was pretty cool.

Copy Clerk
Posts: 105
Joined: 18 Sep 2009

A random person:

epsilon246:

A random person:
Probably everything I was taught in health class. A few classic claims are that tobacco contains radioactive compounds, men are 6'3" on average, and that eating McDonald's in moderation would get the same result as Morgan Spurlock in Supersize Me, because you're apparently taking in the same toxins and excesses, just at a slower rate.

Also, more of an omission, but my elementary and middle schools did not teach a difference between "than" and "then." I used "then" for everything and never got called on it or lost points for it.

toxins in mcdonalds? who let that douche teach? The cigarette thing is correct albeit in tiny amounts,not suprising considering that there are more than 2000 different compounds in the things.

My social studies teacher pointed out that soil has trace amounts of radioactive compounds, so that's where they may come from.

As for toxins in McDonald's, she apparently thought that fat and other things in their food keep building up and will eventually make you end up like Morgan Spurlock. And yes, she apparently has heard of the excretory system.

The soil having radiactive compounds in is true, all a radiactive compound is is one with radiactive elements. though she dtill fails for mcd's.

Copy Clerk
Posts: 105
Joined: 18 Sep 2009

TheGreatCoolEnergy:

crudus:
My 8th grade science teacher told us that too much of anything can kill you...except water. I argued with her for 5 minutes before she wrote me up and sent me to the office. Too much water can kill you. Either over time where you get kidney failure or at once where your body just drowns(I think).

Maybe this is just convention but, mercury is in these thermometers(the ones with the red stuff in them) and will kill you if you drink it/touch it. Pretty sure we switched to that organic substance so that wouldn't happen.

Yes if you drink to much water you will die, most likely from you blood-salinaty levels dropping dangerously low(from being diluted), or from kidney failure.

And modern thermometers dont use mercury, but back in the day the did, and that shit is toxic.

You still get mercury thermometers, afterall they are saelled so if you don't break them it's not a problem. If you drink mercury it would (probably) go straight through you, the fumes are far more dangerous.

Copy Clerk
Posts: 105
Joined: 18 Sep 2009

thepj:

Datalord:

Rex Dark:
Dividing by zero is impossible.

Yeah, but getting a real number as a result is, you always end up with either positive infinity, negative infinity, or nothing at all, not zero, nothing, which is why precalc spend so much time teaching how to avoid zero's in the denominator of a limit, so that when you get to derivatives in calc, you know to divide out the "h" before taking the limit

[inyourface]

how about zerodivided by zero, by all logic that makes 1

[inyourface]

0/0=c
thus 0=0*c
thus 0=0
As c can be any real number 0/0 equals all real numbers.

Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 587
Joined: 17 May 2009

That the world was made in 7 days.

Nah just kidding if the teacher actually tried pulling that shit out I would have had her executed.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1202
Joined: 23 Oct 2008

RedPandaMan:
OT: In about 6th grade (11 years old) my teacher told me Egypt was the first known location of man. Never before have I used the words Africa, and and suck it in the same sentence before.

To be fair, Egypt is a portion of Africa, and it was the first large scale human civilization, as far as we know. Humanity really started in the Middle East, in the Mesopotamian region (modern day Iraq if memory serves), but there weren't any societies worth mentioning until the Old Kingdom of the Egyptians.

Beat Writer
Posts: 180
Joined: 30 Jan 2008

Haxordude:

skyfire_freckles:
I was spinning a globe during free time in second grade, looking at all the continents, when I suddenly realized that Africa and South America would fit together almost perfectly. It made me think about what my dad had said about earthquakes, so I went to my teacher and explained my theory: that once upon a time, the continents had all been together once, but earthquakes had broken them apart over time.

She said, "No, of course not," like it was ridiculous. Then she went on to say that the world had always been just the way it was, and would never change.

What the hell?

Not to doubt the authenticity of your story but, I've heard that one about 20 times.

I can see how others may have had a similar experience.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 790
Joined: 17 Feb 2009

Comrade Mateo:

Captain Blackout:
Too bad 99%+ are deeply lost or complete fucktards.

I'm gonna put you in the fucktards catagory just for using the word fucktard. fucktard.

Hating on a word?

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 891
Joined: 14 Apr 2009

Hail Fire 998:
I was taught that dolphins were fish.

Are you sure you were told that on porpoise?

Copy Clerk
Posts: 97
Joined: 21 Sep 2009

I once had a substitute for a science class who pretty much just spewed the bible the entire class period, and so help you if you tried to steer her off topic, several kids were sent to the principals office for "interupting class" and a few more were given detentions, none of them were punished and the detentions were not enforced.
Our teacher was supposed to be gone all week, he came back on tuesday and said, "Class after receiving several emails from you parents I have decided that she will never sub my class again." I heard that she never subed at that school ever again.

EDIT: although it shouldnt surprise me that she did sub for the class in the first place since it was a school in the lovely Christian state of Mississippi.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3817
Joined: 6 Feb 2008

Necrofudge:
That the world was made in 7 days.

Nah just kidding if the teacher actually tried pulling that shit out I would have had her executed.

Everyone knows it was six days.

Copy Clerk
Posts: 105
Joined: 18 Sep 2009

Lukeje:

Necrofudge:
That the world was made in 7 days.

Nah just kidding if the teacher actually tried pulling that shit out I would have had her executed.

Everyone knows it was six days.

Hah being pedantic are we?

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 4831
Joined: 26 May 2009

Gaderael:

Hail Fire 998:
I was taught that dolphins were fish.

Are you sure you were told that on porpoise?

Aye. I asked "Wait, aren't they mammals?" and the teacher got pissed off and asked me "Who is the teacher here? Me, or you? Want to come up and teach the class? No? Then shut up." Teacher was a bitch...

Press Junketeer
Posts: 417
Joined: 15 Aug 2009

epsilon246:

thepj:

Datalord:
[quote="Rex Dark" post="18.152819.3657673"]
-snipetysnipsnip-

[inyourface]

how about zerodivided by zero, by all logic that makes 1

[inyourface]

0/0=c
thus 0=0*c
thus 0=0
As c can be any real number 0/0 equals all real numbers.

thank you! the first person to explain it in a manner that a 13 year old boy going to a state school (admitedly a grammer school but still a state school) can understand!

Copy Clerk
Posts: 105
Joined: 18 Sep 2009

thepj:

epsilon246:

thepj:

Datalord:
[quote="Rex Dark" post="18.152819.3657673"]
-snipetysnipsnip-

[inyourface]

how about zerodivided by zero, by all logic that makes 1

[inyourface]

0/0=c
thus 0=0*c
thus 0=0
As c can be any real number 0/0 equals all real numbers.

thank you! the first person to explain it in a manner that a 13 year old boy going to a state school (admitedly a grammer school but still a state school) can understand!

Your welcome. This is why your calculator doesn't like you if you ask it to do this.

Copy Clerk
Posts: 88
Joined: 3 Apr 2009

In grade school i was taught that the Puritans came to America to escape religious persecution, when actually, they were kicked out of Great Britain to prevent them from persecuting everyone else.

in the second grade my teacher told us "separate water fountains means shorter lines for everybody"

That evolutionary traits are affected entirely by the environment
ex.) If you keep several flies in a jar with a strip of flypaper hanging from the lid, the flies will develop shorter, wrinkled wings that aren't good for flying.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 891
Joined: 14 Apr 2009

Archemetis:
I was taught that an Oblong that was an egg shape.

I tried to tell them they were wrong and that they were thinking of an OVAL.
(Oblong being a rectangle.)
But they insisted that they were right and told me not to speak out of place in the classroom.

Funny thing is, do an image search for Oblong in Google, seems I'm not the only person who got taught wrong.

You're both wrong. These are Oblongs:
image

Muckraker
Posts: 279
Joined: 8 Jul 2008

skyfire_freckles:
I was spinning a globe during free time in second grade, looking at all the continents, when I suddenly realized that Africa and South America would fit together almost perfectly. It made me think about what my dad had said about earthquakes, so I went to my teacher and explained my theory: that once upon a time, the continents had all been together once, but earthquakes had broken them apart over time.

She said, "No, of course not," like it was ridiculous. Then she went on to say that the world had always been just the way it was, and would never change.

What the hell?

...and she graduated from university?

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1171
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

Gaderael:

Archemetis:
I was taught that an Oblong that was an egg shape.

I tried to tell them they were wrong and that they were thinking of an OVAL.
(Oblong being a rectangle.)
But they insisted that they were right and told me not to speak out of place in the classroom.

Funny thing is, do an image search for Oblong in Google, seems I'm not the only person who got taught wrong.

You're both wrong. These are Oblongs:
image

Well played.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 891
Joined: 14 Apr 2009

Hail Fire 998:

Gaderael:

Hail Fire 998:
I was taught that dolphins were fish.

Are you sure you were told that on porpoise?

Aye. I asked "Wait, aren't they mammals?" and the teacher got pissed off and asked me "Who is the teacher here? Me, or you? Want to come up and teach the class? No? Then shut up." Teacher was a bitch...

That really sucks. I've had teachers that threw chairs and stuff, but it was usually because of morons. Never had teachers who were that dense though.

Muckraker
Posts: 279
Joined: 8 Jul 2008

THAT PAPER CAN BEAT ROCK.

Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 657
Joined: 24 Jul 2009

In year 4 I got marked wrong in a test for saying the sun is a star. Apparently in year 4 we had to acknowledge the sun as a planet.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1735
Joined: 3 Aug 2009

skyfire_freckles:
I was spinning a globe during free time in second grade, looking at all the continents, when I suddenly realized that Africa and South America would fit together almost perfectly. It made me think about what my dad had said about earthquakes, so I went to my teacher and explained my theory: that once upon a time, the continents had all been together once, but earthquakes had broken them apart over time.

She said, "No, of course not," like it was ridiculous. Then she went on to say that the world had always been just the way it was, and would never change.

What the hell?

Yeah, she's wrong on so many levels, in the early times every continent fit together into one giant shape. I can't remeber what it was called, I think it started with a P. But yeah, go and yell at her becasue she's stupid.

Muckraker
Posts: 279
Joined: 8 Jul 2008

Hail Fire 998:

Gaderael:

Hail Fire 998:
I was taught that dolphins were fish.

Are you sure you were told that on porpoise?

Aye. I asked "Wait, aren't they mammals?" and the teacher got pissed off and asked me "Who is the teacher here? Me, or you? Want to come up and teach the class? No? Then shut up." Teacher was a bitch...

Maybe she was on her peri- NO! BAD DUDEMAN!

Muckraker
Posts: 279
Joined: 8 Jul 2008

Supreme Unleaded:

skyfire_freckles:
I was spinning a globe during free time in second grade, looking at all the continents, when I suddenly realized that Africa and South America would fit together almost perfectly. It made me think about what my dad had said about earthquakes, so I went to my teacher and explained my theory: that once upon a time, the continents had all been together once, but earthquakes had broken them apart over time.

She said, "No, of course not," like it was ridiculous. Then she went on to say that the world had always been just the way it was, and would never change.

What the hell?

Yeah, she's wrong on so many levels, in the early times every continent fit together into one giant shape. I can't remeber what it was called, I think it started with a P. But yeah, go and yell at her becasue she's stupid.

PANGEA, BIZNATCH! I learned that in Geography last year, apparently some schools are better than others. Then again, my geography teacher told me that in 10 years global warming would become so serious that Canada would be able to grow palm trees. Me and my sister find that hard to believe.

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