Topic Index
Poll: Waiting to propose


How long do you feel you should you wait before proposing?
Never get married
17.3% (14)
17.3% (14)
less than six months
1.2% (1)
1.2% (1)
6 months to a year
11.1% (9)
11.1% (9)
1-2 years
35.8% (29)
35.8% (29)
2-3 years
23.5% (19)
23.5% (19)
4-5 years
8.6% (7)
8.6% (7)
as son as you meet them
2.5% (2)
2.5% (2)
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Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 508
Joined: 25 Mar 2009

Right. Here's the deal. I recentley proposed to my girlfriend. We have been going out six months. this is very unlike me as i'm usually a very much wait and see sort of person in relationship matters. She said she would, but wants to wait until we've been going out for a year until she officially says yes and makes it official as she has always told everyone thats what she feels is a decent amount of time.

So my question to you dear escapists is this. how long do you think is the minimum time you should wait before you should propose to someone or they propose to you?

(also those escapists who know me on facebook etc, this is still very hush hush among my friends and family so SHHHHH!)

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2799
Joined: 30 Aug 2007

One to two years I'd say, after moving in with the person. Personally I know if a relationships going to work after about a month, so if it last about 2 years and have lived with the person, great.
And good luck with the engagement.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 999
Joined: 5 Nov 2009

It varies with the couple. But I personally would wait a year and see where the relationship is then with my hypothetical serious Boyfriend.

But never ever wait more than 3 years if you're out of school

Also congrats

Senior Editor
Posts: 2596
Joined: 9 Jan 2007

As long as the two of you feel is appropriate. There is no "correct" time period. Could be five years, could be two days. It depends entirely on the people involved, and their particular situation.

I do, however, highly recommend living with the person first, assuming your faith and personal morals allow such a thing.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3490
Joined: 10 Aug 2008

3 or 4 years. Quite a while, you need to be certain you can last decades with this person.

BANNED
Posts: 2007
Joined: 26 Jul 2009

As long as you like, I really don't think that marriage mean THAT much.

User was banned for: What does your name mean on UrbanDictionary?. (Permanent)
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 508
Joined: 25 Mar 2009

Reuq:
As long as you like, I really don't think that marriage mean THAT much.

I never did before, but as they say, life changes you in unexpected ways.

On the Record
Posts: 5987
Joined: 2 Nov 2007

I'd usually say 1 year minimum. From 2 years onward is normal in my eyes. But 1 year is enough.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1948
Joined: 17 Apr 2009

Varies greatly. Depends how long it takes for one to know the other well enough to be able to say 'this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with'.

But as an absolute minimum I'd say a month or two at the least. Lust and crushes come and go and time is one key factor (at least in my opinion) of separating love from just a strong temporary crush. You also need time to see the other person in their bad moments, not just when everything is fine and dandy.

Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 508
Joined: 25 Mar 2009

EClaris:

Also congrats

Thank you :)

Master Archivist
Posts: 9501
Joined: 16 May 2009

Susan Arendt:
As long as the two of you feel is appropriate. There is no "correct" time period. Could be five years, could be two days. It depends entirely on the people involved, and their particular situation.

I do, however, highly recommend living with the person first, assuming your faith and personal morals allow such a thing.

Damn, ninja'd!

Although, I am normally against the idea of marriage, if you two love each other, it doesn't matter what I say or what anyone says. Do as you see fit but make sure you love each other.

Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 508
Joined: 25 Mar 2009

Julianking93:

Susan Arendt:
As long as the two of you feel is appropriate. There is no "correct" time period. Could be five years, could be two days. It depends entirely on the people involved, and their particular situation.

I do, however, highly recommend living with the person first, assuming your faith and personal morals allow such a thing.

Damn, ninja'd!

Although, I am normally against the idea of marriage, if you two love each other, it doesn't matter what I say or what anyone says. Do as you see fit but make sure you love each other.

You two apeak alot of sense/truth. Generally i would be in the 1-2 year camp myself, funny how things turn out though.

My main reason for posting was that it sparked of a sudden intense curiousity about what other people, think on the matter as it usually isn't a topic that comes up often.

Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 568
Joined: 15 Apr 2009
Master Archivist
Posts: 9501
Joined: 16 May 2009

lazy_bum:

Julianking93:

Susan Arendt:
As long as the two of you feel is appropriate. There is no "correct" time period. Could be five years, could be two days. It depends entirely on the people involved, and their particular situation.

I do, however, highly recommend living with the person first, assuming your faith and personal morals allow such a thing.

Damn, ninja'd!

Although, I am normally against the idea of marriage, if you two love each other, it doesn't matter what I say or what anyone says. Do as you see fit but make sure you love each other.

You two apeak alot of sense/truth. Generally i would be in the 1-2 year camp myself, funny how things turn out though.

My main reason for posting was that it sparked of a sudden intense curiousity about what other people, think on the matter as it usually isn't a topic that comes up often.

Thank you. May your life and marriage be filled with happiness and love

Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 508
Joined: 25 Mar 2009

FolkLikePanda:
http://www.wearyourbeer.com/images/Humor_Wedding_Game_Over_Black_Shirt.jpg

Only joking, good luck with it

I've always liked that t-shirt. might buy it for a chuckle one day. luckily she is a gamer as well so i can keep on playing. XD

Senior Editor
Posts: 2596
Joined: 9 Jan 2007

Julianking93:

Susan Arendt:
As long as the two of you feel is appropriate. There is no "correct" time period. Could be five years, could be two days. It depends entirely on the people involved, and their particular situation.

I do, however, highly recommend living with the person first, assuming your faith and personal morals allow such a thing.

Damn, ninja'd!

Although, I am normally against the idea of marriage, if you two love each other, it doesn't matter what I say or what anyone says. Do as you see fit but make sure you love each other.

Even more importantly, make sure you like each other. If you're not friends, you're going to have a very rough time of it.

And shame on me for having bad manners...congratulations. :)

Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 508
Joined: 25 Mar 2009

Susan Arendt:

Even more importantly, make sure you like each other. If you're not friends, you're going to have a very rough time of it.

Got that one nailed, been friends for, oh, long enough for me to ferget how long we've been friends. lol. i actually had to spend time thinking about that one.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1472
Joined: 5 Mar 2008

Until you love her and are willing to spend your entire life devoted to her happiness. There is no definite amount of time: it's a matter of your maturity, ability, and devotion.

Senior Editor
Posts: 2596
Joined: 9 Jan 2007

lazy_bum:

Susan Arendt:

Even more importantly, make sure you like each other. If you're not friends, you're going to have a very rough time of it.

Got that one nailed, been friends for, oh, long enough for me to ferget how long we've been friends. lol. i actually had to spend time thinking about that one.

Outstanding. :) Then I'd say you're good to go.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1939
Joined: 15 Feb 2009

Definitely wait. I would want to wait a year or two and yeesh, you're only twenty.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 736
Joined: 4 Jun 2009

6 months to 2 years?

Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 508
Joined: 25 Mar 2009

firedfns13:
6 months to 2 years?

Quite a range of time there.

On the Record
Posts: 5591
Joined: 12 Feb 2009

Congratulations by the way.

In my personal opinon it falls somewhere between 9-10 months.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 736
Joined: 4 Jun 2009

lazy_bum:

firedfns13:
6 months to 2 years?

Quite a range of time there.

I probably should have looked at the op.

Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 508
Joined: 25 Mar 2009

firedfns13:

lazy_bum:

firedfns13:
6 months to 2 years?

Quite a range of time there.

I probably should have looked at the op.

LOL it often helps,

out of curiousity why such a wide time frame?

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 4644
Joined: 8 Jan 2009

I don't want get married.
Why should I? If you love someone you should be able to just spend your life with them without a government document saying that you are officially in a relationship and that you both own eachother's stuff.

Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 508
Joined: 25 Mar 2009

Demented Teddy:
I don't want get married.
Why should I? If you love someone you should be able to just spend your life with them without a government document saying that you are officially in a relationship and that you both own eachother's stuff.

I know what you mean. i've always thought that.
However i now see it as a way of showing just how committed i am to that person. makes it properly official if you know what i mean.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 4644
Joined: 8 Jan 2009

But in proper response to your question; I suppose I'd give it 6 months to a year.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3346
Joined: 24 Aug 2009

Personally? I don't believe in marriage, not because of the tax breaks, but because if you want to be with someone you should just be with them; you shouldn't have to metaphorically "Chain" them to you in order to get loyalty.

Also, if it just happens to not work out you don't have to go through a divorce.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1859
Joined: 28 Dec 2008

Personally, I feel that going to a gaming website for relationship advice is like sticking your penis in a blender because you have genital warts.

Paperboy
Posts: 34
Joined: 21 Mar 2009

lazy_bum:
Right. Here's the deal. I recentley proposed to my girlfriend. We have been going out six months.

Well that was about the time I proposed to my girlfriend and well all I can say mate is make sure you this girl well. after about 2 more months of out I started to find things out things she was doing on DATE WEBSITES (I like to add she never cheated but the things she was doing not right). Started to lie about what she was doing and a hole pile of shit I try to put it up with it because I love her so much (yea that's right I still do) but after time them things get to you and well the person I turned into was not nice. The point really is if you love her and think you know her well mate go for it may be the best or worse thing in your life. I wish you all the luck in the world mate.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 736
Joined: 4 Jun 2009

lazy_bum:

firedfns13:

lazy_bum:

firedfns13:
6 months to 2 years?

Quite a range of time there.

I probably should have looked at the op.

LOL it often helps,

out of curiousity why such a wide time frame?

Probably because I make up my mind so quick about people.. without living with them. So its better to make sure you can live with them first.

Beat Writer
Posts: 218
Joined: 9 Nov 2009

yes, i am officially the first person to put as soon as you meet them, in all honesty why wait just get it over and done with.

Muckraker
Posts: 257
Joined: 15 Nov 2009

Congrats!

I would say wait at least a year, but then again, if you know, you know, right?

I dated a guy for three years and we didn't decide it wasn't going to work until after we had lived together. Test drive it before you buy it.

Beat Writer
Posts: 149
Joined: 17 Jan 2009

Anything shorter than 3 years and you really haven't seen the "real" person you are dating. (seriously, trust me on this one)

Anything longer than 3 years and you are just being commitment phobic.

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