Why do we as humans desire companionship?

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I've seen many relationship related threads on these boards in my short time here and the other day it got me thinking. I'm 18 and have never been in a relationship and some of you may know that I'm quite bitter on the subject. Now the fact is that like any person I don't like the idea of living out my years alone, I want to someday find someone who as they say, completes me.

Anyway, I started wondering to myself why I have this desire, I mean for 18 years now I've done everything alone; I solve my own problems away from others in solitude. I find myself asking why I want companionship when I can manage myself as I am now, it can't simply be that age old argument of "It's in your nature to reproduce." I think about death and realise that when I die, I want to be by myself and not surrounded by family and friends. I want to be remembered as the person I lived as, not that person I died as. I want to die in solitude comforted by my own mind like a story coming full circle and tying the ending to the beginning. I suppose my point is that I don't know if I truely want a meaningful relationship with someone, or if it's simply the horny primate inside me wanting to make miniature versions of itself. I feel that if it was up to my mind alone, I wouldn't want a relationship with another person, but it's too hard to draw such a conclusion.

So my main question comes back to the thread's title. Why do you think we desire relationships with others?

Beats me. I just know that I'm one of the more introverted people you could meet...but I go stir crazy if left on my own too long.

Ultimately feels like sharing time with others makes your own self and interest feel more legitimate...

Because we all need a helping hand sometimes?

Thinking. Literally.

When alone, we begin to think far too much for our own good. Things that we normally ignore start coming to the forefront, and will more than likely drive a person crazy through realization of their own hypocrisy on certain subjects, or aggravate them to no end when they cannot answer questions they have about themselves. Unconsciously, we realize this, and begin to use other people as a distraction from this very problem. We are always addicted to interaction, no matter if it is direct or indirect. Group mentality can even alter a person, hence why so many people go to bars to drink, although they continually head home alone. With the distraction of other people, we can ignore ourselves, and our problems, which is as much escapism as some people need.

Or...we just like people because we don't want to be the crazy pet person. -.-

We are bored of ourself, and are just looking for someone to help pass the time.

or we need validation, and being in a relationship provides some sort of validation of our life.

These are just random bablings i came up with on the spot, so.....

Because we are predatory creatures, and are weak on our own. Thus, we gather in packs and create tools to defend ourselves and to control territory (also breeding).

And then of course there's the tremendous BOREDOM that comes to all creatures of significant intelligence when they have no particular threat or challenge. For you see there is NOTHING more entertaining than a human.

I like having someone who I can tell anything, joke around with, have feelings for, fight with, and still fall asleep beside them at night.
It's weird, I used to only want a girlfriend for sex, but that changed when I met my current girlfriend. After 4 years It's hard to live without her, she is another part of me.
/cheesy love.

Because of Dom's AI.

Because we're social creatures with highly developed methods of communication and expression.

And it feels good to be loved :3

Prrrrrrrrrr

I believe Robinson Crusoe could shed some light on the subject. Failing that, Tom Hanks.

miracleofsound:
Because of Dom's AI.

Damn that put a smile on my face. Who would've thought four words could be so funny? Well played sir, well played.

Humans are social animals, we instinctively seek out the company of others.

There you go.

Adzma:

miracleofsound:
Because of Dom's AI.

Damn that put a smile on my face. Who would've thought four words could be so funny? Well played sir, well played.

Thanks... It's funny because it's true... Gears 2 on insane was like trying to run a marathon with a malfunctioning prosthetic leg.

Though at least a prosthetic leg wouldn't keep whining about its stupid wife...

We like to have someone to look down on, to remind us of how clever we think we are.

I'm 26 and am happily single. Most humans are shallow, vacuous beings that desperately cling to relationships in order to help provide some sort of depth to their pathetic existences. Personally, I don't see how being in a relationship could make me any happier.

Tyler Durden:
We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.

Inbuilt biological desires to reproduce influencing needs to find a partner? That seems most logical to me.

Because nobody likes being alone even if some people would act like they want to be alone, at least they need somebody to talk to.

Well there are a lot of reasons.

First, being in isolation for too long causes you to sue Sony, Microsoft, Blizzard and every other company and makes you look like a ass to a large population of people...

In all honesty though, the mind can find ways to cope with not having social interaction but having friends and family that you communicate and interact with is much better stimulation and keeps you mentally healthy. Now I know the first argument that 'the loners' put up is that they are perfectly happy being on their own. More times then not though, that points to a problem with 'the loner.' Maybe they don't have the social skills to properly interact and form relationships, other times there are cases of abuse or neglect which prevent certain bonds from forming.

As someone else pointed out, humans are for the most part pack animals. There is safety and power in numbers, and people tend to have an innate need to have a 'pack'. That doesn't mean you have 100 friends. Heck it could be 2 or 3, but it's still a pack.

There is of course the desire/need to reproduce. I am not going to go into detail regarding this because we have to get into human evolution, monogamy, polygamy, and I just don't want to type that long.

The other thing that I am sure you don't want to hear is that you are 18, and really don't have perspective on things yet. When I was 18 I thought I had it all figured out, but by the time I was 21 I realized that 3 years ago I didn't know anything, but by then I had a good grip on things. Then when I was 25 I realized how big of an idiot I was at 21, and now being in my 30's I have come to realize that you never really stop learning. Sure you fall into comfortable patterns, but if you always keep an open mind and heart, you'd be surprised in how much you continue to grow over time.

Don't sweat not being in a relationship. My girlfriend didn't go on her first date until she was almost 20, and she is completely awesome and I have no idea how the hell that happened. If you are comfortable being out and about on your own, then by all means enjoy it, just don't shy away or shun possible relationships because you don't think you need them.

Ocelot GT:
Because we're social creatures with highly developed methods of communication and expression.

And it feels good to be loved :3

Prrrrrrrrrr

This.

Seriously though, humans really are very social creatures. We spend the majority of our lives around other people even if we don't know them personally. So it's natural to desire companionship.

That and not having any companionship of any type whatsoever is really f-ing lonely. -_-

Adzma:
Why do you think we desire relationships with others?

We want certain things in part because our brain is constructed to want them. It is constructed to want them because wanting those certain things is what helped people in the past make more people instead of just sitting around and dying off.

it can't simply be that age old argument of "It's in your nature to reproduce."

It may not be (I don't know you) but it is in your nature to want companionship, and the cause of that being in your nature is that it makes a person more likely to reproduce and have offspring that keep reproducing.

That's as stupid as asking "hey,why do we breathe and drink water?" One of the main goal of life is to create children and raise then, you can only do that with a companion, so its the way were built, just like were built to not jump off a building.

Adzma:
Why do you think we desire relationships with others?

Quoted the only bit I really read, sorry. (I'll get back to the rest later)

We're programmed to seek companionship because without it we wouldn't be alive to discuss it right now.

Because it's a survival instinct? An animal is supposed to mate to ensure survival of the species. But it's probably a lot more complex than that.

I haven't figured any of it out and I'm almost 35, so I'm probably the wrong person to ask.

I'm twenty years old, and I just got into my first relationship this summer.

I have never, ever felt the desire to be in a relationship with anyone until I met this girl, and honestly? This doesn't change my perspective. I am perfectly happy on my own. Sure, life with someone else is fun too, but you have to realize that intelligence transcends our evolutionary functions. While you may feel the need to be with another person, it's worth considering that you may be more fulfilled through other pursuits.

Because the genes of people that don't seek it don't survive too good...

It's nice to wake up next to someone.

Otherwise...

Tokzic:
I'm twenty years old, and I just got into my first relationship this summer.

I have never, ever felt the desire to be in a relationship with anyone until I met this girl, and honestly? This doesn't change my perspective. I am perfectly happy on my own. Sure, life with someone else is fun too, but you have to realize that intelligence transcends our evolutionary functions. While you may feel the need to be with another person, it's worth considering that you may be more fulfilled through other pursuits.

this. Sex is good and all, but I've only ever really *liked* two people enough that I'd consider having any kind of serious relationship with them.

because we are WEAK!!!!!!

no seriously, if we go crazy after a week of loneliness, we deserve to be killed quite frankly

Adzma:
Now the fact is that like any person I don't like the idea of living out my years alone, I want to someday find someone who as they say, completes me.

I answered your main question above, so I'll deal with this here. This is not what you are looking for. It is more or less what you are looking for in the long run (though a pretty pathetic way of putting it) but in the meantime you are looking for people who might fit that mould but for all intents and purposes are practise at getting on with other people in the relationship way. Don't take yourself so seriously and you'll find everything suddenly gets a lot easier.

Whether or not we are pack animals with deep seated drives to find companionship, other people still provide a lot of benefits (and some drawbacks, of course).

I could give you the biological reason of 'social creatures' but that is boring. Rather, I prefer to think that we seek companionship so that we can feel like normal people. We do this by gaining the acceptance of others, the only problem though, is that most people lie about who they are to some extent, so people aren't really being accepted, but rather, they are affirming their position as an excellent real-life actor.

...

So basically so we can go 'Well at least I'm not some freak of nature'.

Just to add my own bit, I love spending time by myself, it's my time to be stupid and silly and not have to worry about other people's opinion of me. On the other hand, I also enjoy other's company because the people I choose to spend time with are either silly like myself OR are great to bounce ideas round with. As for the death-bed thing, I would love to be left alone with a giant bag full of chocolate and pancakes and pie (and other goodies), a massive bottle of orange juice and a speaker system with all my favourite songs on it ... and a T.V. with all my favourite movies on the highest definition system currently out.

Monshroud:
In all honesty though, the mind can find ways to cope with not having social interaction but having friends and family that you communicate and interact with is much better stimulation and keeps you mentally healthy.

Ah don't get me wrong, I have a large group of really great friends, and am by no means a loner. The fact is this was all spurred on because a couple of them noticed that I never turned to others with problems, I always go off by myself and sort it out alone and they were concerned. I told them not to worry as it's just how I have always handled things. I don't believe in relying on others with my own problems when they have more important things they should put first, but by the same token I'm always there for when others need my help. I'm weird that way.

SikOseph:
This is not what you are looking for. It is more or less what you are looking for in the long run (though a pretty pathetic way of putting it) but in the meantime you are looking for people who might fit that mould but for all intents and purposes are practise at getting on with other people in the relationship way.

It may not have been clear but my meaning behind that statement was in fact in the long run, further down life's track. It's just for now I've never experienced the connection shared between two people, thus prompting this discussion.

From a primal need to breed which has eventually connected to something on our emotional basis for a physical relationship.

For friendships and things: humans instinctively want to be one of the pack. So we create packs (friends, family) and associate things with them that make us feel better. Humans as a species don't want to be alone, or feel lonely.

Adzma:
some of you may know that I'm quite bitter on the subject.

Sorry who are you again?.. Agh, nevermind.

OT
You and my cousin as it happens would get along well, he hasn't even thought about the prospect of companionship, much to my confusion. I myself find myself in a relationship I wouldn't trade for anything, its the best kind of relationship that starts when your not looking and is instigated at first sight. Theres really nothing quite like it.

Whether your into it or not shouldn't any concern, if you don't feel like being in a relationship then its not the right path for you as yet, although I'm certain you'll have the moment where you find the one you can't say no to. I did and I'd never regret it.

Adzma:
I've seen many relationship related threads on these boards in my short time here and the other day it got me thinking. I'm 18 and have never been in a relationship and some of you may know that I'm quite bitter on the subject. Now the fact is that like any person I don't like the idea of living out my years alone, I want to someday find someone who as they say, completes me.

Anyway, I started wondering to myself why I have this desire, I mean for 18 years now I've done everything alone; I solve my own problems away from others in solitude. I find myself asking why I want companionship when I can manage myself as I am now, it can't simply be that age old argument of "It's in your nature to reproduce." I think about death and realise that when I die, I want to be by myself and not surrounded by family and friends. I want to be remembered as the person I lived as, not that person I died as. I want to die in solitude comforted by my own mind like a story coming full circle and tying the ending to the beginning. I suppose my point is that I don't know if I truely want a meaningful relationship with someone, or if it's simply the horny primate inside me wanting to make miniature versions of itself. I feel that if it was up to my mind alone, I wouldn't want a relationship with another person, but it's too hard to draw such a conclusion.

So my main question comes back to the thread's title. Why do you think we desire relationships with others?

I don't want, or need relationships. I'm in a pretty similar situation to you, I've never had a relation, and as far as I have come in life (pretty far, mind), I have realized two things: Other people simply slow me down and/or fuck my plans up, and that I'm perfectly capable alone. Although I do agree that sometimes company is nice, you have to be very careful with whom you choose, and make sure that you're entirely happy with that person and viceversa. Fortunately enough, having been alone all our lives, we will most probably be more than ready to carry out a succesful relationship than all those bratty kids that start wanting to reproduce at the age of 13 (sick). But yeah, my advice? Don't let others pull you down. You'll find that, if you choose the wrong person, at the wrong time of your life, that person will act as a prohibition to many things you enjoy. Aside of that, and in order to satisfy primary impulses, choose one: whores or masturbation.

I am a bitter, unlikeable person, and I will die alone and unloved? Yes. OH YES.
Aside of that, I dedicate my time to be awesome :P

Personally, I like having someone who I can be myself with. Not just a friend, but someone who you feel connected to. As humans, I think we seek this out in others. A connection to them that makes you feel... 'special' I think is the right word.

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