Groin Attacks Are Not Funny

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Would a vicious nipple-twister in return be considered fair game or even any kind of equivalent? Just going near the chest area, even out of a shared joke or accidentally during a friendly hug seems to warrant a non-friendly bash to the balls with some female acquaintances.

But then maybe given (apparent) higher risk of attack/rape and less ability to fight it off (meh... if the guy's got a knife, it's all academic unless you're a judo master/mistress), perhaps it gets ingrained as a way of getting yourself a couple of crucial seconds to escape from an early age. Quite how it then crosses the line into being something you use in less serious circumstances is the mystery.

One younger girl has gone so far as to threaten castration in response to one dude's jokes. But to be fair, it then turned out she didn't (at 17...) really know what it meant, and like some kind of elementary schooler was using it because she simply knew it was a bad word when wielded against men.

Don't know if it's been said, but:

Striking a man in the balls can lead to Testicular Torsion, which in turn can quickly lead to the loss of one of his testicles.

Yes, it's a medical fact that kicking, punching, or any blow to the balls can indeed lead to LOSING YOUR TESTICLES.

What happens when a woman is struck in the breast? Swelling, bruising, and severe pain. NOTHING ELSE. Don't think that just because they're women they'll lose a breat because of a single punch, and don;t think that just because they're men they can take a hit to the testicles.

-Now don't get me wrong, by no means am I saying either one is okay to do. However, I just wanted to add those two facts because many have been led to believe it's the other way around. Admittedly, if the strike is hard enough I'm sure some permanent internal damage can be done to a woman's breast, but nowhere near as bad as to a man's testicles.

Testicles = External Ovaries

You think all men will just lay there afterward? If you strike a man in the balls, make sure you get the fuck outta Dodge, because they WILL come after you. They'll either physically show you their anger, or, God forbid they lose a testicle, they'll take you to court and clean you out. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE WITNESSES AND GOOD REASON, otherwise, ladies, you're in some deep shit.
--Same goes for guys who're grinding up on a woman who's told you to fuck off three times and receives a strike to the balls. Don't think you can get away with hitting her back after molesting her, douche-bag.

most painful thing i have heard of or can imagine? my friend was doing his marshal arts thing when he got slammed down to the ground at like 50mph and his balls got caught between his legs.... painfull even thinking about it

The true formula for a groin shot is two fold:

1. It must be from a UFO (basically an object that was launched from a certain location without the intention of hitting a man in the groin)
2. It must be unexpected (if it was expected, it can still be funny, but the odds are about 50/50 on that one)

What you are describing is a woman or a girl hitting or kicking you in the crotch. In most cases, this isn't funny, since they are using an object that is attached to their body. Now... If they threw an object... Said object is small and won't do any damage... Said object had no intention of hitting you in the crotch... And it still does... THAT's funny. And always will be.

A little girl running up to you and punching you in the balls? Not funny. Never will be.

Its only funny until it happens to you. Now I my body kind of twitches whenever I see a crotch shot on film or on television. Women, if you have to hit us, slap us in the face and walk away. Please, please, please leave my friends in the basement alone. I want to have children someday.

...I've never been hit in the groin, nor do I ever want to, but I still laugh/wince whenever I see it on TV... (though maybe if I'm ever attacked I might try it as a last resort)... it's probably best when it doesn't happen to you...

This is so true! These girls who are three at this one house that I have been to (AND THEY WERE THREE!) Aimed for it at least twice! I think that it should be illegal, YES illegal to do this. Some girls who obsess with pepper spray think that this is hilarious, when really I can't describe the pain to a girl. Some girls may think "well, what about being pregnant?" We'll, that doesn't damage you in a serious way of your body. And most likely you have 1-4 kids. With this, it hurts so much! It's not funny.

Dont know elsewhere... but in quebec you can carry a complain in justice for a kick in the goin... It endenger your chance to have kids...

for the last 2 weeks, everyday in gym ym friend has been hit in the balls (ironically) by a ball. i think it just hits his thigh though, since he recovers fairly quickly.

I don't condone hitting women for practically any reason, but I don't mind telling you that if any female happened to purposely strike me in the groin, ever, I wouldn't hesitate to punch the living shit out of her. There's just no excuse for it unless you're in imminent danger.

That's why we invented this as a counter:

Show me your moves!

Being kicked in the balls is probably the most painful thing I've experienced in my life (many times), the last of which being when my friend threw an xbox controller at me and it hit me square in the balls with the pointy end of the pistol grip. However, although they're incredibly painful, groin attacks are also one of the funniest things on earth.

alxhrmn:
On the contrary - groin attacks are fucking hilarious when they're not happening to me.

Its True my friend got hit in the nuts with a Cricket Ball and i swear his voice afterwards sounded like his balls parachuted out of his ears...
I almost started rolling across the floor with laughter!

If they get to attack my testicles.Then I get full right to slap them across the tits.

Leonhardt93:
A guy from my highschool once though that smacking people with a wet towel, in the locker room, was fun. That's when three blokes from my year decides to grab a hold of him an give him the hardest, most horrific smack with a twisted, evil and dripping wet towel. Right on his babies..

His sack split open and the contents fell out!!

Everytime i think of this story, my balls cringe.

wait...WHAT!!!?!

JanatUrlich:
Of course it's acceptable man! Go for the weak spot!

If I'm getting attacked by some dude I'm not gonna avoid the balls just coz it'll hurt him a lot. That idea can fuck right off!

Says someone who obviously didn't read the first post, you know the part where he said unless you are being attacked, it's not kosher to go for the nuts. What's being complained about it that women seem to find it amusing to kick someone in the nuts because the man that's talking to her said something she didn't like, or she teaches her small children that it's hilarious to run up and randomly hit a guy there (which doesn't get her arrested or even reprimanded by police, but if a man so much as SAYS he's gonna hit a woman he gets 5 years.)

It's not even just that it hurts, it can actually cause serious damage. You can stop people having kids. If the guy is attacking you, I mean seriously attacking you then hell even I would go for the balls if I absolutely had to (yes I am a guy). But if you're doing it for a laugh, just remember this - how would you like it if we kicked you in the ovaries and then you could never have kids?

Sometimes accidents happen though. In that case feel free to laugh yourself silly :-)

Oh and remember never to accept the offer of a ro-sham-bo!

Leonhardt93:
A guy from my highschool once though that smacking people with a wet towel, in the locker room, was fun. That's when three blokes from my year decides to grab a hold of him an give him the hardest, most horrific smack with a twisted, evil and dripping wet towel. Right on his babies..

His sack split open and the contents fell out!!

Everytime i think of this story, my balls cringe

Dude....that's just messed up!

alxhrmn:
On the contrary - groin attacks are fucking hilarious when they're not happening to me.

Indeed. But GOD how they hurt when it happens to me.

Once, I was standing with my legs just a little separated when someone kicks me in between the legs with STEEL TOED BOOTS from behind after running towards me, and the toe hit right on. I actually cried in pain. NOT FUN!

Indeed. I couldn't stand that one bitch in Total Recall. Everytime she got into a fight with Arnold she would immediately focus on atacking his crotch. I was so happy when she got killed.

Kingcallum:
I know what you mean.

My last experience with a kick in the balls didn't end well.

Same. I now unintentionally walk to my right alot more than before.

They can be funny as long as they are used during proper timing instead of at random times ever 3 seconds

Persi:
This is so true! These girls who are three at this one house that I have been to (AND THEY WERE THREE!) Aimed for it at least twice! I think that it should be illegal, YES illegal to do this. Some girls who obsess with pepper spray think that this is hilarious, when really I can't describe the pain to a girl. Some girls may think "well, what about being pregnant?" We'll, that doesn't damage you in a serious way of your body. You can have like 10-20 kids and not have problems. With this, it hurts so much! It's not funny.

Next time some bitch goes for your balls and dares to bring up pregnancy, you should suggest you stretching their vagina a feet wide if they hit you in the nuts.

I must be a evil person sense i'm male and most of the fvights I have been in have been ended with me kicking the foe in the balls, I guess it's my finishing move or something.

My ex tried to jump into my lap while I was sitting on the floor, once. Foot went straight into my balls. Her dad came in to offer me words of consolation while she and her mother giggled about it in the other room. Cor, I should've seen this as the precursor sign for cunt-y-ness that it was and left 'er on the spot before she could continue this cycle of emasculation. Slut.

This thread... I can keep reading it forever. I t's just so awesome.
It's left my balls sore with fear, and i have cringed many a time from awesome videos.
thank you, @tkioz, for making it :)

OT: The only situation where it is entirely okay to attack a man on the balls, is if he is threatening you directly with physical harm.

My ex girlfriend has hit/kicked/thrown stuff at my balls so many times, I can't recall some of them.
Each time I fall to the floor in agony, with some strange contortion of a facial expression, she just giggles and says "Oh, I'm sorry!" as if she had just accidentally pushed my hand, while I was doing something.

How I hate that ignorant bitch...

On the other hand, I can't think of anything funnier than watching someone else take a shot to the balls :P

Persi:
This is so true! These girls who are three at this one house that I have been to (AND THEY WERE THREE!) Aimed for it at least twice! I think that it should be illegal, YES illegal to do this. Some girls who obsess with pepper spray think that this is hilarious, when really I can't describe the pain to a girl. Some girls may think "well, what about being pregnant?" We'll, that doesn't damage you in a serious way of your body. You can have like 10-20 kids and not have problems. With this, it hurts so much! It's not funny.

Assault is illegal.

tkioz:
Okay so groin attacks in fiction are funny, but girls seriously in real life if the dude isn't attacking you you don't get to hit a guy there, it's just not cricket.

The reason this came about is my nieces and my sister in law came to town for a visit this week and crashed at my place, my nice little cute nieces who have somehow been taught that striking a man in the place of pain is funny.

Any guy who has ever been struck there can tell you even a tap is painful, a full on blow shuts down your brain for a good 5-10 seconds while you working out wtf is going on and then the pain hits. In serious cases you start to taste blood afterwards.

I once sat in on a self defence class that my sisters were taking, the women teaching the class went over different means of disabling an attacker, usually with the common warning that I know well about not using this on people useless it's for real... notable exception? the strikes to the testicles. It's like they thinking punch a dude there is acceptable for being a jerk.

Do women seriously not know how much this freaking hurts?

dude i know waht you mean, last girl taht kicked me in the gonnads made me black out af ew secounds after, to bad for her i was wearing steel toed boots and her ribs were bruised/ almsot brocken for a good 2 months ( she was goin to try n press charges but i brought up a good ol fact of "you want to be our equals, so if you strike me im striking you just as hard!" that and i would press charges if i was sterile, in anguish(spelling?), in mental anguish, for assault, ect...)

I'd like to say for the record I have never, ever, ever struck a guy there. I've heard from many guys how painful it is, and though, yeah, lots of girls act like it's a funny thing to do, I listened to my brother and my guy friends.

I imagine it hurts more to be hit in the nuts than to be hit in the vagina, this is why they don't understand. So, I guess since they don't understand, they think it's ok. To that I say: Dear Women, Fuck you for thinking that. If you touch my nuts with anything other than your tongue or soft gentle fingers, I kill you.

Evil the White:
It's not fun. It's painful.

I like how women go 'Well it's painful giving birth', but you give birth to a child, a kick in the balls does not produce a children, and in fact lessens the chance of that man producing a child. esides, most women won't give birth more than three time in their life, whereas a man can get kicked again... and again... and again...

I have heard its not actually pain its just immense pressure in childbirth. I hate being kicked in the groin but i'm short, it's easy to stop people from messing with me, however its fun to throw apple's at people who are pissing you off.

Its the magic of double standers here

You get hit in the nuts, you dont think its funny, unless its a 1 in a million chance that you got hit there, like a football kicked from all the way on the other side of the field or somthing.

but you see someone else get hit in the nuts, like a skateborder grinds down a rail, then falls off and hits his nuts, its funny.

Every time I see a guy get hit in the 'nads, I flinch. Shit hurts like hell.

rokkolpo:
many women i've encountered think a hit in the clitoris hurts as much as in the balls.

i dont know for sure, but i've never seena girl puke and scream in agony by being kicked in the privates.

Further proof that most guys couldn't find the clitoris even if their life depended on it.

On topic, I agree with the original poster. It's not funny and it hurts like all Hell.

Persi:
Some girls may think "well, what about being pregnant?" We'll, that doesn't damage you in a serious way of your body. You can have like 10-20 kids and not have problems.

You, sir, are misinformed.

Every year, more than half a million women die in pregnancy or childbirth.

Then there's also vaginal tearing, nerve damage, incontinence, infection, blood loss and postpartum depression to take into account (among other things).
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I'm never having children.

OT: I am not someone who finds it "funny" in any way to kick a guy in the balls, nor have I ever met a girl who thinks it is. Maybe I just live in a really nice place?

tkioz:
Okay so groin attacks in fiction are funny, but girls seriously in real life if the dude isn't attacking you you don't get to hit a guy there, it's just not cricket.

The reason this came about is my nieces and my sister in law came to town for a visit this week and crashed at my place, my nice little cute nieces who have somehow been taught that striking a man in the place of pain is funny.

Any guy who has ever been struck there can tell you even a tap is painful, a full on blow shuts down your brain for a good 5-10 seconds while you working out wtf is going on and then the pain hits. In serious cases you start to taste blood afterwards.

I once sat in on a self defence class that my sisters were taking, the women teaching the class went over different means of disabling an attacker, usually with the common warning that I know well about not using this on people useless it's for real... notable exception? the strikes to the testicles. It's like they thinking punch a dude there is acceptable for being a jerk.

Do women seriously not know how much this freaking hurts?

While I agree holehartedly as a man, It's still a reasonable option for a desperate woman who is being assaulted or even an attempt at rape, say you were attacked, a pencil very sharp was next to you, wouldn't you go for it, still though it is a jerk move, especially since some women don't understand the large risks at hand, I still say men should wear cups during the day.

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