Groin Attacks Are Not Funny

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Azaradel:

Persi:
Some girls may think "well, what about being pregnant?" We'll, that doesn't damage you in a serious way of your body. You can have like 10-20 kids and not have problems.

You, sir, are misinformed.

Every year, more than half a million women die in pregnancy or childbirth.

Then there's also vaginal tearing, nerve damage, incontinence, infection, blood loss and postpartum depression to take into account (among other things).
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I'm never having children.

OT: I am not someone who finds it "funny" in any way to kick a guy in the balls, nor have I ever met a girl who thinks it is. Maybe I just live in a really nice place?

Where I live apparently girls think its "funny" and "doesnt hurt" It's ridiculous.

Accidental groin attacks are hilarious, unless I'm on the receiving end, or if it's with a cannonball or something like that.

If a chick is getting attacked, I can see that justified, but if she just randomly knees a dude for laughs, that's just lame. And painful to watch.

asinann:

JanatUrlich:
Of course it's acceptable man! Go for the weak spot!

If I'm getting attacked by some dude I'm not gonna avoid the balls just coz it'll hurt him a lot. That idea can fuck right off!

Says someone who obviously didn't read the first post, you know the part where he said unless you are being attacked, it's not kosher to go for the nuts. What's being complained about it that women seem to find it amusing to kick someone in the nuts because the man that's talking to her said something she didn't like, or she teaches her small children that it's hilarious to run up and randomly hit a guy there (which doesn't get her arrested or even reprimanded by police, but if a man so much as SAYS he's gonna hit a woman he gets 5 years.)

Excuse me, but the OP definitely talks about being taught to kick a dude in the nuts in a self defence class. The key term here is 'self defence' which suggests to me that the OP also does not believe that it is acceptable to groin kick whilst being attacked.

And yeah it is amusing to kick a guy in the nuts. It's one of the few advantages we have over men and we're gonna fucking keep it.

JanatUrlich:
Of course it's acceptable man! Go for the weak spot!

If I'm getting attacked by some dude I'm not gonna avoid the balls just coz it'll hurt him a lot. That idea can fuck right off!

That's not the point of this, it's that many women think it's ok in casual environments. They think if anything doens't go their way "GO FOR THE BALLS!" The common response? "Giving birth is worse" I've only heard that come back from people who have never given birth.

We should make a new America's Funniest Home Videos that has more videos showing Women getting hit in the breasts than not, see if they find it as funny.

JanatUrlich:

asinann:

JanatUrlich:
Of course it's acceptable man! Go for the weak spot!

If I'm getting attacked by some dude I'm not gonna avoid the balls just coz it'll hurt him a lot. That idea can fuck right off!

Says someone who obviously didn't read the first post, you know the part where he said unless you are being attacked, it's not kosher to go for the nuts. What's being complained about it that women seem to find it amusing to kick someone in the nuts because the man that's talking to her said something she didn't like, or she teaches her small children that it's hilarious to run up and randomly hit a guy there (which doesn't get her arrested or even reprimanded by police, but if a man so much as SAYS he's gonna hit a woman he gets 5 years.)

Excuse me, but the OP definitely talks about being taught to kick a dude in the nuts in a self defence class. The key term here is 'self defence' which suggests to me that the OP also does not believe that it is acceptable to groin kick whilst being attacked.

And yeah it is amusing to kick a guy in the nuts. It's one of the few advantages we have over men and we're gonna fucking keep it.

Yeah, but he said the teacher warned them not to use this as a joke, unless you are being attacked for just about every move taught EXCEPT the groin move, there was no warning there.

Whether you agree with that assertion or not, is another thing, but that is clearly what the OP said, and saying he didn't is wrong.

I can't get my head around your argument here, are you saying it is ALRIGHT to kick a guy in the balls when not being attacked? Because that is all me and the OP are saying, even if you did understandably misinterpret it. I can't imagine anyone could be of that opinion.

Trivun:
For some bizarre reason, some of my friends at high school thought it would be funny to turn it into a game they called 'Sack Shot'. Basically, two guys sit at opposite ends of the room on the floor with their legs apart. They then take it in turns to throw a ball of any sort, usually it was a tennis ball though smetimes if that wasn't available they used a squash ball (seriously, those things are even worse!), at the crotch of the other person. The aim was to cause your opponent as much pain as possible so they'd give up. If you give up, or if you move either hand from your side to block the shot, then you automatically lose. Your best hope was that your opponent had crap aim.

Seriously, they played this most lunchtimes in the Sixth Form common room. It got to the point where, although I was fortunate enough to never be pushed into playing it, I considered wearing my old cricket box to school each day for a short while (which I hadn't used since Year Seven). Fortunately, it died out fairly quickly...

Oh, and another time I was watching some friends play a game of squash on the school courts and one of them was hit in the crotch by a squash ball at high speed. He was literally rolling around on the floor in agony for at least ten minutes. Frankly, we all thought it was hilarious... :P

Sounds like this:

http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/3616/detail/

But yeah, this nonsense is freaking stupid. Glad I missed out on that game. Now I'm an adult, so anyone who tries that crap with me I can hit with an assault charge. Or just, you know, hit.

Actually, I'm pretty sure you could bring someone up on criminal charges even as a minor if they did that to you, no matter your age. It could be considered assault, or maybe even sexual harassment.

I remember one time when I was part of an anacronistic fighting club and we were doing squad-on-squad practice. I was using a sword, my direct opponent a spear; both of us had shields and we're crouched down in a defensive stance. During the match, I decided to break my guard and rise up to attack from above... right as said spearman made a thrust for my gut.

The spear hit me above the groin instead. It was a near-miss, but still close enough to result in a mildly painful stun. The whole match ground to a halt and absolutely everyone was asking me "You okay? You okay?" With a smile, I excused myself as "killed in action", removed myself from the fight, and asked them to resume.

It's really nice when people actually express concern like that. Not like when I was twelve and someone threw a chunk of ice into my groin during a snowball fight. I immediately fell on my back, crying out in agony while everyone just stared at me dumbfounded. "You 'kay?" "DO I LOOK OKAY, YOU MORONS?!?"

I'm starting to wonder if sympathy is inverse to pain or something. Whenever I'm fine, people act all concerned, yet whenever I am in tons of pain and seek sympathy, everybody thinks I'm overreacting. >_>

danpascooch:

Yeah, but he said the teacher warned them not to use this as a joke, unless you are being attacked for just about every move taught EXCEPT the groin move, there was no warning there.

Whether you agree with that assertion or not, is another thing, but that is clearly what the OP said, and saying he didn't is wrong.

Dude, the OP wrote like a retard. The sentence about the self defence class makes no grammatical sense whatsoever. It is not 'clear' what he is trying to say in any way, shape or form.

wtf man, I say you're wrong but that doesn't make any difference either way!

Anyway, I've seen more men kick other dudes in the balls than females so it seems that this whole argument is targeted at the wrong fucking gender. You guys should lead by example or some shit.

Chogg Van Helsing:
most painful thing i have heard of or can imagine? my friend was doing his marshal arts thing when he got slammed down to the ground at like 50mph and his balls got caught between his legs.... painfull even thinking about it

It felt like scrotum almost exploded... I couldn't even stand up...

I have heard that a firm kick to the balls is an equivalent pain to that of giving birth.
No-one believes me.

JanatUrlich:

danpascooch:

Yeah, but he said the teacher warned them not to use this as a joke, unless you are being attacked for just about every move taught EXCEPT the groin move, there was no warning there.

Whether you agree with that assertion or not, is another thing, but that is clearly what the OP said, and saying he didn't is wrong.

Dude, the OP wrote like a retard. The sentence about the self defence class makes no grammatical sense whatsoever. It is not 'clear' what he is trying to say in any way, shape or form.

wtf man, I say you're wrong but that doesn't make any difference either way!

Anyway, I've seen more men kick other dudes in the balls than females so it seems that this whole argument is targeted at the wrong fucking gender. You guys should lead by example or some shit.

I agree that the OP was HORRIBLY written, but I never said any gender is at fault, but it's important for women to know it because they can't know themselves how it feels, whereas men can.

oh god I know what you mean man, last week my cousin got pissed at me for saying that he is immature his mature response was to do a full on running punt to my balls once I was down he tried it again this time he missed and did a full 180 flip and landed on his ass and kicked himself in the head and went crying to his mommy about how I made him fall and kick himself in the jaw.

pope_of_larry:
i dont find them funny even if there not happing to me. there all kids in my school how will run around "sac tapping" just about anyone they see.

How can people do that?

CrazyGeneral:
oh god I know what you mean man, last week my cousin got pissed at me for saying that he is immature his mature response was to do a full on running punt to my balls once I was down he tried it again this time he missed and did a full 180 flip and landed on his ass and kicked himself in the head and went crying to his mommy about how I made him fall and kick himself in the jaw.

damn... unlucky man

troth:
I have heard that a firm kick to the balls is an equivalent pain to that of giving birth.
No-one believes me.

I do, but the thing about giving birth is that it's prolonged, whereas being hit in the sack is not (relative. I know it can hurt for ages from experience, but the actual pain that is equal to birth I assume doesn't last for as long). If this just conjecture however. I can't know both sides, as it's physically impossible.

I don't think its funny at all. Then again, I am the type of person that does not think that any form of violence that could potentially cause very serious personal injury, sometimes permanent, is in any way funny. I don't tolerate any of that kind of stuff, unless of course its a fight. But... that's only because as far as i'm concerned, when push comes to shove, all bets are off and anything is acceptable.

HAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA, I wheezed a little in that laugh. Really this is a forum topic?

I hate when girls decide that hitting a guy in the jewels is ok just because he's a man and they're women.
"But men are stronger!" Yes, but that's not a very good point to go and hit balls on sight, is it?

SODAssault:
My ex tried to jump into my lap while I was sitting on the floor, once. Foot went straight into my balls. Her dad came in to offer me words of consolation while she and her mother giggled about it in the other room. Cor, I should've seen this as the precursor sign for cunt-y-ness that it was and left 'er on the spot before she could continue this cycle of emasculation. Slut.

It still makes me giggle to this very day.

Watch any movie where there's a scene of a guy getting nailed in the crotch. There will always be a simultaneous "Oooooooo" from the audience, take note of the pitch from that cringing noise; it's not in the key of a womanly voice. Oh no, its in the baritone pitch that most men have. That laughter you hear? That's coming from the women in the audience; go ahead pay attention to your girlfriend's reaction the next time you take her to a romantic comedy and the male interest is dealt a crotch shot.

Like probably everyone else has said, if it isn't you, it's really funny. If it is, party's over.

The other day, me and five of my friends were at this girl's house. She has a little brother who is probably 7 or 8 years old, and whenever she wasn't around he enjoyed taking one of my friends down by tackling him (my friend is pretty short.) So, when he went for my friend, one of my other friends whispers to me "I'm going to distract him." He walks up calmly to the kid who is in the process of taking down my friend, and pulls out a football and says "Hey! Do you like football?" and the kid spins around and kicks my friend in the balls really hard. Pretty much everyone else was crying and rolling on the ground laughing after that.

its not cool anyone does it, remember once i was walking with my friend home to my place and suddenly a kid jumps out and try to hit me in the groin, ofc he failed and we the caught him and gave him a beating for being a ignorant bastard

May as well combine this with the other thread about the kid getting punched in the balls.

Tbh, if some guy is attacking a woman, she's well within her rights to crotch shot him, supposing that she didn't start it. Especially if its a rape or something, then by all means, try to take one clean off for extra points and all, but in any other situation its going way too far overboard.

pope_of_larry:
i dont find them funny even if there not happing to me. there all kids in my school how will run around "sac tapping" just about anyone they see.

i watched that happen to a bloke in coventry england, he actually chased the dick down and punched him hard twice in the face (knocking him out) then stood up and walked away. FUCKING HILARIOUS! justified, fair and appropiate. and surprisingly refrained.

JanatUrlich:

asinann:

JanatUrlich:
Of course it's acceptable man! Go for the weak spot!

If I'm getting attacked by some dude I'm not gonna avoid the balls just coz it'll hurt him a lot. That idea can fuck right off!

Says someone who obviously didn't read the first post, you know the part where he said unless you are being attacked, it's not kosher to go for the nuts. What's being complained about it that women seem to find it amusing to kick someone in the nuts because the man that's talking to her said something she didn't like, or she teaches her small children that it's hilarious to run up and randomly hit a guy there (which doesn't get her arrested or even reprimanded by police, but if a man so much as SAYS he's gonna hit a woman he gets 5 years.)

Excuse me, but the OP definitely talks about being taught to kick a dude in the nuts in a self defence class. The key term here is 'self defence' which suggests to me that the OP also does not believe that it is acceptable to groin kick whilst being attacked.

And yeah it is amusing to kick a guy in the nuts. It's one of the few advantages we have over men and we're gonna fucking keep it.

Not much of an advantage really, last girl that kicked me in the nuts was on the floor in pain longer than I was. He mentioned self defense and that it was ok to do it in self defense. His problem was that his older female relatives were teaching his younger female relatives to do it for a laugh. If you aren't being physically threatened (that's the key, if you can't walk the fuck away) I'm cool with you doing it, but women now think "This guy that's talking to me bought the drink I'm drinking, but now I'm tired of looking at/listening to him," <kick to the balls> "HAHA, look at him on the floor." That's not cool. Something that guys are taught that girls aren't is that you can WALK AWAY from most situations, or that there is some other way to solve the problem without violence. Ever try asking the bartender to get the guy off of you? It works just fine. How about just telling the guy you aren't interested, that works almost every time and in the rare situation that it doesn't the bartender can get them off of you easy enough. But your first reaction is <kick in groin> and laugh. It's not self defense unless you are actually being attacked, and some guy that won't stop hitting on you is NOT being attacked.

tkioz:
The reason this came about is my nieces and my sister in law came to town for a visit this week and crashed at my place, my nice little cute nieces who have somehow been taught that striking a man in the place of pain is funny.

I once sat in on a self defence class [snip] usually with the common warning that I know well about not using this on people useless it's for real... notable exception? the strikes to the testicles. It's like they thinking punch a dude there is acceptable for being a jerk.

You might want to reread the OP though, the mentions of the self defense class say to only use the teachings in actual self defense situations: except nut shots, those are ok any time for any reason. THAT'S the problem, not that they are used in self defense, but that they are used whenever the hell they are offended by something that if they mentioned that it wasn't ok would most likely stop.

And any male that does a nut shot (unless their lives are endangered) needs to be fired out of a cannon into a brick wall.

Leonhardt93:
A guy from my highschool once though that smacking people with a wet towel, in the locker room, was fun. That's when three blokes from my year decides to grab a hold of him an give him the hardest, most horrific smack with a twisted, evil and dripping wet towel. Right on his babies..

His sack split open and the contents fell out!!

Everytime i think of this story, my balls cringe.

Oh my God, that sounds SO painful
That's the only story so far that has made me cringe

This is something that has bugged me for a fair while. There seems to be a certain amount of casual misandry mixed in there too - the idea that men aren't allowed to complain and aren't allowed to think that women might be better off in any way, and when they do they're being insensitive to women's problems. One thing I've heard a lot is "It's not fun for a woman to get hit in the groin either, you know". You know what? Yeah, I'm pretty sure it hurts for a woman to get kicked in the groin. But getting hit in the balls really, really, really hurts. It's why it's so infamously unpleasant to have happen to you.

Still pretty funny, though.

I can thankfully say I've never been hit full on, but there were plenty of times were there were half-assed hits, and they hurt like all hell. As for a self defense technique, if a woman is about to be raped, by all means kick that bastard in the balls, but for simply being a jerk or for comedy in real life, that woman needs jail time.

It is funny when not happening to a real person.

and

Canid117:
It is funny when not happening to a real person.

and

There ya guh.

i punched the last girl how hit me in the ballz

just to say they say ladys sould be treated fairly i did just that

tkioz:
Okay so groin attacks in fiction are funny, but girls seriously in real life if the dude isn't attacking you you don't get to hit a guy there, it's just not cricket.

The reason this came about is my nieces and my sister in law came to town for a visit this week and crashed at my place, my nice little cute nieces who have somehow been taught that striking a man in the place of pain is funny.

Any guy who has ever been struck there can tell you even a tap is painful, a full on blow shuts down your brain for a good 5-10 seconds while you working out wtf is going on and then the pain hits. In serious cases you start to taste blood afterwards.

I once sat in on a self defence class that my sisters were taking, the women teaching the class went over different means of disabling an attacker, usually with the common warning that I know well about not using this on people useless it's for real... notable exception? the strikes to the testicles. It's like they thinking punch a dude there is acceptable for being a jerk.

Do women seriously not know how much this freaking hurts?

You know what else is funny as hell, boob slapping...it can hurt them too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZP4Ugev82I

JanatUrlich:

Haha my answer is still the same. Don't be a douche if you don't wanna get punched in the balls

Haha, I doubt you'd think it was nearly as funny if I made a thread about how hilarious it is when I kick women in the crotch for being 'bitches' or what not.

The most horrifying story ever told (from comedian Jason Manford): He was playing football with friends (I think it was a competitive game) and some seriously rough play was going on. Long story short; his friends hip was dislocated. A medic was on the scene and decided to pop it back into its socket. Unfortunately, one of his testicles was a little too near to it and *POP!*

It sounds like bullshit, but admit it, every man out there crossed their legs after hearing this.

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