Groin Attacks Are Not Funny

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Arachon:

tkioz:
I once sat in on a self defence class that my sisters were taking, the women teaching the class went over different means of disabling an attacker, usually with the common warning that I know well about not using this on people useless it's for real... notable exception? the strikes to the testicles. It's like they thinking punch a dude there is acceptable for being a jerk.

Do women seriously not know how much this freaking hurts?

You do realize that self defence classes are not really meant for women to learn how to deal with guys being jerks... It's more like dealing with guys who are trying to rape them.

And I noted that the teacher gave information on why it's a bad idea to use various attacks without a good reason, for example the keyring brash knuckles, she warned how it could be lethal and should only be used if you have no other choice, but no such warning was given about strikes to a mans testicles which was basically laughed off.

reecedempsey:

tkioz:
Okay so groin attacks in fiction are funny, but girls seriously in real life if the dude isn't attacking you you don't get to hit a guy there, it's just not cricket.

The reason this came about is my nieces and my sister in law came to town for a visit this week and crashed at my place, my nice little cute nieces who have somehow been taught that striking a man in the place of pain is funny.

Any guy who has ever been struck there can tell you even a tap is painful, a full on blow shuts down your brain for a good 5-10 seconds while you working out wtf is going on and then the pain hits. In serious cases you start to taste blood afterwards.

I once sat in on a self defence class that my sisters were taking, the women teaching the class went over different means of disabling an attacker, usually with the common warning that I know well about not using this on people useless it's for real... notable exception? the strikes to the testicles. It's like they thinking punch a dude there is acceptable for being a jerk.

Do women seriously not know how much this freaking hurts?

tyr bleeding once a month every month since you turned 15 that FUCKING HURTS
and even when you don't you gotta squeeze a creature the size of a bowling ball out of you at the end of nine months

I don't see what natural bodily processes have to do with assault.

JanatUrlich:

tkioz:

JanatUrlich:
Of course it's acceptable man! Go for the weak spot!

If I'm getting attacked by some dude I'm not gonna avoid the balls just coz it'll hurt him a lot. That idea can fuck right off!

err please read my post again, I clearly stated that if someone is attacking you it's perfectly okay, however if some dude isn't attacking you but just being a jerk / asshat whatever or you think it's funny, you don't get to hit a dude there.

Haha my answer is still the same. Don't be a douche if you don't wanna get punched in the balls

okay... double standards in today's world are really rife using that logic it's perfectly okay to strike a woman for not having your dinner ready on time... which it's not, but that's basically what you are saying. I've seen a friend of mine's girlfriend swing as his groin after he makes a tasteless joke, it's gotten so bad he knows when it's coming and covers up, that's abuse boys and girls.

What are you talking about. Ball hits are hilarious. All you need to know is how not to get hit and you are all set!

I've never had a girl hit me in the nuts o0 what are you doing wrong?

Oh well.

Although, if somebody did it properly, I'd give them a good roundhouse kick in the head :D

Hey hey hey, chicks have to have their privates stretched to disgusting areas and (80% of the time) ripped during child labor.

It's MUCH more painful than a kick to the balls.

Please note that I am a guy, and know just how much ball shots hurt.

It's hilarious as long as it's not me.

the worst that ever happened to was i took a baseball right to the sack, it hurt so bad i started to foam at the mouth. i was like grgblgrrbllrbrlbrrgrgrblrrbrrbbglbgllbgl!!

Unknower:

GodsAndFishes:
A simple test has shown that being kicked in the balls is actually more painful than giving birth.
Kick a man in the balls and ask him if he would like to be kicked there again and he will say no, but ask a woman after giving birth if she'll do it again and often she will. Thereforce logically being kicked in the balls is more painful.

Its fun not to look at the whole picture.

On the other hand, women gain something from giving birth but men don't get anything from groin attacks. If the man got thousand dollars for every kick, he'd probably say yes.

Logic is a bitch!

...You've never been kicked in the sack have you? (assuming you have one) I wouldn't let someone kick me in the balls for anything short of one billion dollars and a majority share of both microsoft and apple. my sister kicked me in the testicles one night, I was just horsing around and she got serious, it was a minor graze but my left nut had already been hurting for one reason or another and I ended up holding my balls on the living room floor while PISSING MYSELF in front of my mother and sister. I laid in a puddle of my own urine for almost twenty minutes, eyes bugged trying to regulate my breathing and find my nuts. one billion dollars or no one gets within five feet of my balls with any kind of dark intentions.

I personally have been hit in the balls multiple times. The majority of them have been accidents (last one was yesterday with on a weird baseball bounce). However I have been hit on purpose before (by a guy's foot) and I was waddling for about 3 hours. God that one hurt. He had been trying to kick me for about 5 minutes and I had dropped him probably 15 before until he landed one.

For advice: If a person tries to kick you really hard jump to the side and while they are still off balance take out their knee with a well placed kick directly behind it. Their leg should collapse if you hit hard enough and you can run away.

It's awful. I hate how woman are just like, "You try giving birth and then talk to me about pain!" Ok...so maybe that happens to you 7 times tops in a lifetime. A shot to the jewels is open up anytime forever. Then there's the fact that for 9 months your body is getting you ready for this baby, and your body is designed to do that. You may not realize it, but your body is producing painkillers and stuff. A shot to the jewels happens without any warning and even if we did have warning, our bodies aren't designed to take shots there. So yeah, a shot to the jewels is much much worse

after reading the article on this thread
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.198125-Teenager-Has-Testicle-Amputated-After-Tapping-Game
anyone who tries to attack my groin is gonna find me to be VERY defensive lol...

Jamash:
What's not funny is how a lot of irresponsible self defence courses teach that a kick or strike to the balls is a magical 'off button' on men, and give women the foolish notion that a kick in the balls is the best thing to do when attacked or even confronted.

Yes, a strike to the groin hurts, a lot, but it won't automatically disable an attacker, and it causes such pain that it could turn a simple mugging or robbery into a brutal assault and battery or murder just out of spite.

I got kneed in the balls once in a fight, it didn't stop me, but it hurt so much that any notion of simply restraining my opponent and defending myself went out of the window and made me want to really batter, hurt and break my opponent for the pain he caused me.

Damn right. I know if it was me, if someone hit me there for whatever reason, if they didn't leave me in enough pain to just have me crying in a little ball, I'd be out to beat the shit out of them for the next few minutes.

You think a kick in the groin is sore? how do you think this idiot felt xD

fucking idiot...

I posted this in the sack-tapping game earlier, and it is quite relevent here:

What's really wrong with hurting the balls is that balls are used for more than just giving you bigger-than-necessary muscles or making sperm. They also control bone density. Men who are castrated lose bone density, and can wind up bed-ridden cripples due to extremely low bone density. Women control bone density in a different way, so they don't need testicles. Animals generally have a much higher strength to weight ratio by default, so the loss of bone density and strength doesn't affect them as much. But in humans the effects of castration can be devastating in old age. And if you get castrated before puberty, they can be devastating in *middle* age.

Part of the popularity of attacking the testicles is the idea that they aren't necessary. But in human males, they are necesary for men's health. Gradual bone-density loss, resulting in osteopenia or osteoporosis, is inevitable if the testicles are destroyed.

What we did in my school if somethin like this happen. Was grab them as they were passing a set of stairs and throw them down it. Either that or "accidentally" slam their head into the lockers as hard as we could.

These "sack tapping" morons should be arrested for GBH and put on probation for the next 80 years. >.>

As far as I'm concerned a bollock shot is a declaration of war.

As for women who think it's funny to bollock a guy... they don't find a broken pubic bone and a ruptured clitoris funny.

blakfayt:

Unknower:

GodsAndFishes:
A simple test has shown that being kicked in the balls is actually more painful than giving birth.
Kick a man in the balls and ask him if he would like to be kicked there again and he will say no, but ask a woman after giving birth if she'll do it again and often she will. Thereforce logically being kicked in the balls is more painful.

Its fun not to look at the whole picture.

On the other hand, women gain something from giving birth but men don't get anything from groin attacks. If the man got thousand dollars for every kick, he'd probably say yes.

Logic is a bitch!

...You've never been kicked in the sack have you? (assuming you have one) I wouldn't let someone kick me in the balls for anything short of one billion dollars and a majority share of both microsoft and apple. my sister kicked me in the testicles one night, I was just horsing around and she got serious, it was a minor graze but my left nut had already been hurting for one reason or another and I ended up holding my balls on the living room floor while PISSING MYSELF in front of my mother and sister. I laid in a puddle of my own urine for almost twenty minutes, eyes bugged trying to regulate my breathing and find my nuts. one billion dollars or no one gets within five feet of my balls with any kind of dark intentions.

Baseball. Ball. Momentary distraction. Nuts.

It bounced first though but still...

Swollen Goat:

JanatUrlich:

Haha my answer is still the same. Don't be a douche if you don't wanna get punched in the balls

Haha, I doubt you'd think it was nearly as funny if I made a thread about how hilarious it is when I kick women in the crotch for being 'bitches' or what not.

I'm not gonna lie to you, some girls definitely deserve it, just like some guys do. If a guy was being an absolute knob to me I would not hesitate to kick him in the balls and the same goes for girls. Except the balls part obviously, but you get me. I don't gender discriminate ;D

tkioz:

okay... double standards in today's world are really rife using that logic it's perfectly okay to strike a woman for not having your dinner ready on time... which it's not, but that's basically what you are saying. I've seen a friend of mine's girlfriend swing as his groin after he makes a tasteless joke, it's gotten so bad he knows when it's coming and covers up, that's abuse boys and girls.

Oh shit dude. Do not get me started on double standards in the world. I cannot believe that you are trying to tell me that it's the guys who are hard done by. I'm just gonna ignore that you said that because it makes me extremely angry. Angry enough to kick you in the balls coincidentally.

But yeah, you say 'tasteless joke'? By that I assume you mean sexist or racist and the like. Maybe the dude should learn that his girl is obviously not into discrimination? Why the fuck would you deliberately provoke her over and over again? She doesn't find tastelessness funny, she finds it insulting so by repeatedly offending he is basically saying "I don't give a fuck about what you think, I'm gonna tell my shitty joke right to your face and you're just gonna have to sit there and take it."

No no, my friend. That woman has proven that she does not have to sit there and take it and your friend will just have to learn that.

tkioz:
Okay so groin attacks in fiction are funny.

I actually think the complete opposite. I find it hilarious when it's happening in real life, even as the victim. But I usually get insulted when it's televised. Of course, dude vs. dude is completely fair game but girls hitting guys there is a serious insult because it's just a backstabbing moral exploit.

Girls hitting guys in general is usually ok because it rarely hurts. And guys shouldn't hit girls because it rarely doesn't hurt. But I seriously believe in terms of honour and justice, if a girl attempts a crotch assault then that dude has every right to prevent it with force.

Also, while we're on the subject, I want to bring up the problem of taser and pepper spray overuse. I've never seen either used in real life, but it comes up a lot on television of girls not only using them as defensive tools, but as an acceptable substitute to saying "I'm not interested" or "go away". THAT is something that angers me so, so, SO much more.

JanatUrlich:
No no, my friend. That woman has proven that she does not have to sit there and take it and your friend will just have to learn that.

Or get sick of constantly guarding his bollocks and slap her silly.

RhomCo:

JanatUrlich:
No no, my friend. That woman has proven that she does not have to sit there and take it and your friend will just have to learn that.

Or get sick of constantly guarding his bollocks and slap her silly.

or this, yeah.

Occasionally the slapstick side of it can be minorly amusing, say if someone does something stupid and ends up hitting themselves.

Or if you're being mugged/physically attacked.

Other than that, NO. It is not funny at all.

MONTGOMERYWOODRUFF69:

GodsAndFishes:
A simple test has shown that being kicked in the balls is actually more painful than giving birth.
Kick a man in the balls and ask him if he would like to be kicked there again and he will say no, but ask a woman after giving birth if she'll do it again and often she will. Thereforce logically being kicked in the balls is more painful.

Its fun not to look at the whole picture.

A kick in the groin is more painful than giving birth???? I saw my wife push out a ten pound,fourteen ounce baby. I gotta tell ya I'd rather be kicked in the groin, hell I'd rather slam my nads in a car door because she had that kid natural, no pain killers, and he got stuck so they had to jerk him out, causing her taint to rip. Top that one kiddos!

You know he was joking, right?

The line about not looking at the whole picture indicated he wasn't being serious.

Just sayin'

JanatUrlich:

I'm not gonna lie to you, some girls definitely deserve it, just like some guys do. If a guy was being an absolute knob to me I would not hesitate to kick him in the balls and the same goes for girls. Except the balls part obviously, but you get me. I don't gender discriminate ;D

Fair enough then. As long as it's equal treatment of douchebaggery no matter who the perpetrator is, I have no complaint. :)

I'm aware how much it hurts. Hence why I never do it without a good reason.

I've only ever done that to a guy once, my ex boyfriend, when he started saying some proper sexist, derogatory shit the day I saw him after I beat him on CoD. I told him to shut the fuck up, and shoved him. At which point he punched me in the face and gave me a nose bleed, then started laughing, so I kneed him in the balls and got the fuck out of there. I'd say he deserved that.

Basically, if a guy attacks me, I'm gonna go for the balls, no matter what.

oreopizza47:
it's really sad when it happens often enough that you can just shake off the pain and walk away. i miss the idea of having future children.

I know the feeling, although I'm sorry about the pun.

When I was in grade 5, a young lady thought it was easy to kick my in the junk, than to learn the soccer skills to stop me from running past her in games. I have a scar down there (it runs front to back, down the middle of my 'jewels'), and yet my parents wonder why I haven't produced any offspring. My mother has even suggested that I should get a sperm test, because my answer seems implausible to her.

Mind you, I no longer stop when I'm hit there; I just carry on and headbutt the perpetrator, now.

I'm glad I've never been kicked there. Only gotten a football-glancing-blow and that hurt a lot.

Inconsequential shit? Then it's wrong.

But if the guy's attacking the girl, then she has every right to kick him there. And if some guy is coming to beat me (a guy) up, of course I'll kick him in the balls as well. I don't care about "fighting dirty". Not that I've been in a fight, but if for some odd reason I found myself in one, I'd do whatever I could to protect myself.

Kickk them bac in there groin see how it feels......but you'll prolly have to use like a tazer to even kind of experience our pain

Two words, cunt punt.

And everyguy here knows the pain, if anyguy sees an other get hit there they go...."owwwwww" then they kinda laugh because its funny but nonetheless everyguys sees it and feels his pain to an extent

Only time it's properly connected, and was REALLY painfull, was someone threw a bottle as hard as they could (It was Hit me in the Balls day for some reason), they didn't really think it would hit. But I was hunched over, and so they ran away while everyone was laughing (Including me for some reason), anyways, I threw it back, (It was a mutal bottle, or something heavy anyways), they stopped, turned around to see what was happening, and it hit them straight in the bollocks.
It was painfull but very funny then, even for me xD

If all else fails, attack small round things.

.

.

Like eyes.

JanatUrlich:

tkioz:

JanatUrlich:
Of course it's acceptable man! Go for the weak spot!

If I'm getting attacked by some dude I'm not gonna avoid the balls just coz it'll hurt him a lot. That idea can fuck right off!

err please read my post again, I clearly stated that if someone is attacking you it's perfectly okay, however if some dude isn't attacking you but just being a jerk / asshat whatever or you think it's funny, you don't get to hit a dude there.

Haha my answer is still the same. Don't be a douche if you don't wanna get punched in the balls

Call Me Arizona:
Self-defense courses annoy me with this, kicking a dude in the balls, depending on how hard, will not get him down but for about 20 or so seconds if you hit hard enough.

20 seconds is long enough to get a decent head start! Plus if you stun them with a kick to the groin you can always top it off with a good kick to the head

First off, you do not necessarily stun the guy just by kicking him in the balls, I'd say you have about a 50-50 chance of causing any kind of usable pause in whatever will be coming back at you as a consequence.

Second, if you're willing to escalate from being "a douche" to grievous physical pain, you damn well better be ready to see some real escalation of conflict. As you might very soon see your breasts torn off in a very violent fashion.

My Krav Maga instructor would always incorporate testicle-blows into the techniques that he taught us. Always.
Once I asked him why, and he replied: "it's the best way to bring down another guy." When I mentioned the damage that such blows could do, he asked me whether I'd prefer courtroom charges or death in the event of a fight. I kinda saw his point from then on.

The scrotum is the best target to aim for when fighting a man, especially when he's moving. As long as you manage to land a kick between the legs, the upwards driving force of the blow will guide your foot straight to the testicles, and leave him virtually stunned for a good five seconds at minimum.

That said, NEVER kick a man in the scrotum unless he attacks you with malicious intent. Don't do it for fun, or even to piss a guy off. It can cause serious trauma to the area.

Oh yeah. Once I forgot to wear a cup to training, and the instructor kicked me (relatively softly) in the balls just to "remind" me of the dangers that Krav Maga involves.
That guy was a bastard, now I come to think about it.

Aerodyamic:

oreopizza47:
it's really sad when it happens often enough that you can just shake off the pain and walk away. i miss the idea of having future children.

I know the feeling, although I'm sorry about the pun.

When I was in grade 5, a young lady thought it was easy to kick my in the junk, than to learn the soccer skills to stop me from running past her in games. I have a scar down there (it runs front to back, down the middle of my 'jewels'), and yet my parents wonder why I haven't produced any offspring. My mother has even suggested that I should get a sperm test, because my answer seems implausible to her.

Mind you, I no longer stop when I'm hit there; I just carry on and headbutt the perpetrator, now.

Holy shit...

Are you actually sterile now? What happpened?

Other people's pain is funny. That's the whole point. That's why I hang around maternity wards, chuckling...

NUTTAPPER!
oh yes, it's funny.

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