So I've been single for a long time and up until recently, I was content to be so. I won't say happy, but content. Anyway, this girl I met in a class I took caught my attention when I began chatting with her on Facebook and as we were talking, the subject of relationships came up.
I thought she had a boyfriend but it turned out she didn't and she made a point of telling me she was single and then made another point of telling me she was happy as such because she'd been in a solid string of them since she was 15 (we're 21).

That got me thinking. Is anyone REALLY happy to be single? Or is it just an excuse they tell themselves to justify not being in a relationship? I can't understand that anyone would be happy to be single. And if one was truly happy being single, then why would they ever say yes to a date?

I want love so bad. But it's impossible.
A man like me, so irresponsible...

Jacco:

That got me thinking. Is anyone REALLY happy to be single? Or is it just an excuse they tell themselves to justify not being in a relationship? I can't understand that anyone would be happy to be single. And if one was truly happy being single, then why would they ever say yes to a date?

Why would someone need an excuse to not be in a relationship? Default status is not being in one.

As for being happy to be single, perhaps they simply don't want to deal with a relationship? I don't see what's so hard to imagine about that. Why they'd say yes to a date? To try things out perhaps?

On the other hand, perhaps someone is just happy while single. They might go out on a date because their happiness has nothing to do with their relationship status.

Edit: Oh and I'm single and ambivalent about it. It doesn't bother me nor do I take any particular joy in being single.

Huh? Of course you can be happy and single. All people really want is to feel like someone cares about them or would notice if they suddenly just died. This doesn't have to come from a partner but can come from a close relationship with friends and family. So I don't think people necessarily need romantic love, but I think everyone needs to be loved by someone to be happy. Naturally, no one loves me so I'm quite miserable.

Granted, perhaps there are people who really do need romantic love. I just don't think it's absurd to think that someone could still be perfectly happy with emotional support from other avenues, as long as they have someone they can trust and whose company they enjoy.

newly single and until recently was experiencing what could only be described as soul crushing despair because i was until recently happily engaged...and then she left me...for someone else...and within a month they were engaged...and i live with them...yeaaaaaaah but now im talking to a girl who i dated briefly a few years ago and that might work out

I'm quite happy with my being single. I never really was a people person, to the point of being around most people even if I acted like the nicest guy on the planet made me pretty unhappy. I like my solitude and I dislike people braking it. Sure, sometimes being around people is alright, but overall I prefer the majority of my time being spent alone. (or at least without physical company, thank you computer)

I am quite happy in a long term relationship; more happy than I was before.

manic_depressive13:
Huh? Of course you can be happy and single. All people really want is to feel like someone cares about them or would notice if they suddenly just died. This doesn't have to come from a partner but can come from a close relationship with friends and family. So I don't think people necessarily need romantic love, but I think everyone needs to be loved by someone to be happy.

Never thought of it like that. I always wondered why people would be worried about relationships so much. Couldn't understand why they'd worry so much if there wasn't even anyone in particular they cared about. But seeking someone to care about them in general as a motive makes sense.

Naturally, no one loves me so I'm quite miserable.

That sounds rather depressing, but it seems to be said so casually I'm not sure what to think...

I guess I'm so unhappy because I am a codependent people pleaser so the idea of not having one central person to make happy kinda sets me adrift. Not to mention living with a reminder of my abject failure to make her happy (her being happy with someone else) kinda really doesn't help

Mortai Gravesend:

manic_depressive13:
Naturally, no one loves me so I'm quite miserable.

That sounds rather depressing, but it seems to be said so casually I'm not sure what to think...

Suggest to me an easy, painless and effective way of killing myself and I'll prove it to you.

manic_depressive13:

Mortai Gravesend:

manic_depressive13:
Naturally, no one loves me so I'm quite miserable.

That sounds rather depressing, but it seems to be said so casually I'm not sure what to think...

Suggest to me an easy, painless and effective way of killing myself and I'll prove it to you.

You know, I'd rather not. There isn't any reason I'd want you dead and I'm more inclined to like you rather than hate you. It just looks odd to see something like that said in what looks like a casual manner.

Edit: And sorry if I didn't take that seriously enough the first time. Thinking over it questioning whether someone's miserable when they're really miserable is somewhat unkind.

Meh, can't complain.
I don't have to reply to SMS messages at ungodly hours of the night.
I don't have to set aside time to go to parties/clubs/restaurants/movies etc.
I don't have to go into women's clothing stores.
I get to keep more of my money.
I can do what I want without being interrupted (mostly).

That said, I can't shake the feeling that I may be missing out on something ...

RAKtheUndead:
even the idea of a woman being romantically interested in me is a profound violation of logic and sense. If a woman ever engaged in a relationship with me, the universe would spontaneously collapse.

I was bored single. Now, though? Nah. Not bored at all. Absolutely loving it, and I wouldn't for a second consider becoming single again.

Loop Stricken:
I want love so bad. But it's impossible.
A man like me, so irresponsible...

Blah. Get out there. If I, a fat-ass, socially inept dingus with eccentric hobbies and a penchant for finding companionship in internal combustion engines, can find someone, so can you.

I'm single and I'm happy.
Am I happy to be single? Meh.
On one hand, it would be nice to have someone. On the other hand, now isn't a good time for me to be in a relationship, I don't know anyone I'd like to be in one with, and I wouldn't bloody know what to do if I was in one.
I'd like to say that I'm happy to be single, but I've never experienced the alternative. Perhaps I'm actually terribly lonely and I'm just deluding myself.

You know, I'm usually just content with the way things are, I've too much on my plate atm for a girlfriend, and will be that way for another half year at least. Though, sometimes I just feel this sting, wondering what the hell I'm doing, there's a beautiful girl staring me right in the eye, and all I need to do is reach out to her.

Sometimes I don't see the obstacles keeping us apart, sometimes I see just us together, and it makes me happy, it makes me happy until I wake up and know she's not with me, and I know why.

I'm fine. Being only 19, I have decided to completely avoid the drama and bullshit that comes with a relationship. Maybe in 10 or so years, when I've settled down, I'll think about being in a serious relationship with a woman. But right now, and in the near foreseeable future, I'll be single and stay that way - and be happy at it.

When I was single, I was always happy being single - not happy to be single, as if I had chosen, just generally happy.

Now that Im taken, Im equally happy, just in a different way.

In fact, I dont think I can remember a time in my life when I was sad, so maybe Im not the right person to ask...

BathorysGraveland:
I'm fine. Being only 19, I have decided to completely avoid the drama and bullshit that comes with a relationship. Maybe in 10 or so years, when I've settled down, I'll think about being in a serious relationship with a woman. But right now, and in the near foreseeable future, I'll be single and stay that way - and be happy at it.

Maybe you ought to call it 5 years chief, if you start at 30 youre gonna be a little on the old side for kids and what not...

I'm fairly okay being single...

I wouldn't go out of my way and say that I was happy since I know that it would be a lie (Especially when I think of all the days where I was crushingly depressed and stayed in bed all day because I had no motivation to do anything) as I do miss having a nice relationship (Currently not had one for over a year... *Sigh*)

I also wouldn't say I was unhappy though, since I am normally a pretty optimistic and generally upbeat guy, I still have fun most of the time and generally have a good time more often than not.

Either way, tomorrow I'm gonna ask a girl I like out. Depending on how that goes I may either get a relationship or go out on the pull (Due to me feeling a bit lonely as of late).

Well I would be a lot happier if people didn't feel the need to keep asking "Are you REALLY happy you're single" like not having a partner somehow makes you less of a human being.

At some point I did occasionally feel like being single was somehow a bad thing. But then I got over it as I got a little older, and it hasn't bothered me once since then. The thought of "wanting a girlfriend" doesn't even enter my head, really. Friends are anough for me, I don't need anything more than that.

rollerfox88:
Maybe you ought to call it 5 years chief, if you start at 30 youre gonna be a little on the old side for kids and what not...

I have no interest in having children. Maybe that will change, but I very, very, very highly doubt it. So that isn't much of an issue.

Three serious relationships in my life and I have come to the following conclusion for me anyway.

When you are going out with someone the good times are so much better but the bad times are so much worse.

Right now I am single and happy. It gives me time to catch up with friends and do things I want to do without checking with someone else. I am also currently in the process of getting to know a new girl that I like so maybe something will come from that but I am not putting myself under any pressure.

BathorysGraveland:

rollerfox88:
Maybe you ought to call it 5 years chief, if you start at 30 youre gonna be a little on the old side for kids and what not...

I have no interest in having children. Maybe that will change, but I very, very, very highly doubt it. So that isn't much of an issue.

Fair enough...how about this - freeze some sperms now, then if you decide you want kids and youre already 35, defrost the juice. That way, you can leave it as long as you like and your kids will be less likely to be born with diseases. Win win.

Jacco:
So I've been single for a long time and up until recently, I was content to be so. I won't say happy, but content.

So why is "content" not an option in your poll? I would have probably picked that, but I guess I'll have to pick happy.

You see these? These are tears of JOY.

Not happy, but not because I'm single. In fact, zero to do with that.