Lamest villains ever

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You know what I'm talking about. Those villains that are either no threat what-so-ever or just so uninteresting that you want them to die so you don't have to listen to them anymore. You can use villains from any medium, they just have to be villains it the source material. Meaning they are supposed to be the people you are against, even if the writer fails to make you feel that way.

To business, here's my list so far:
Vaati from "The Legend of Zelda"
Plenty of Zelda games do fine without Ganondorf as the main villain, but not "Four Swords" and "Minish Cap". Vaati is a terrible villain. He was introduced in "Four Swords", which was packed with the GBA port of "Link to the Past".
The game opened with him breaking out of the seal of the title blade, yet he didn't think to destroy the Four Sword so that he couldn't be sealed again. His first order of business was to kidnap Zelda and force her to marry him. Yes, we went from corrupt thieves, evil wizards, and sealed demons to a frickin' pedophile.
Nintendo knew they screwed up, because the direct sequel degraded Vaati to the unwitting pawn to Ganondorf's plan in "Four Swords Adventure". This was wear Vaati belonged, because he was such an unimaginative non-threat.
He was the main villain in "Minish Cap" as well, and he sucked in that too.
The Penny Pusher from "Batman"
This was back in the day when a penny was worth something and you could give a super villain any stupid name and get away with it. In case you didn't figure it out, the Penny Pusher pulled off penny related heists. His most famous was when he tied Batman to a giant penny and used some complex machinery to flip it. Heads and Batman would be crushed; tails and he'd have every bone in his body broken. You might have noticed the giant penny was taken to the batcave after PP was foiled (how did Bruce even get it there discreetly?).
Later writers saw how lame it was for Batman to nearly be done in by a guy stealing pennies, so the retconned him out of existence. But they still liked how that giant penny tied the batcave together, so they wrote in a new heist with the penny using Two Face instead. That's pretty lame when the comically over-sized penny is more important to keep in than you are.
Sasuke Uchiha from "Naruto"
"Oh, but Sasuke isn't a terrible character." You are half right on that, he wasn't when he was a good guy. For those of you who don't know, Sasuke was made to be the title character's rival. He was annoyingly pretentious and was an instant expert at everything, but this was leveled out by him not thinking ahead and developing a "Batman Complex" because of the death of his entire clan. Then there came the whole "joining Orochimaru" thing.
You see, Sasuke has a special ability in his eyes that allows him to go all Megaman with other people's moves. Orochimaru wanted Sasuke's body (not gay) so that he could have that power. However, Naruto foiled Orochimaru's plot to kidnap Sasuke, so he had to go with convincing Sasuke to join him. This didn't seem like a smart choice on Sasuke's part, because staying in his home village would surround him with more ninjas he could copy.
Fortunately, it turns out that Sasuke had a brilliant plan all along. While Orochimaru prepared to transfer his soul to Sasuke's body (still not gay) during a time skip, Sasuke trained secretly in hypnosis. Once Orochimaru tried, Sasuke used his powers to put Orochimaru to sleep and grant him access to all Orochimaru's powers. Well...that was actually a good plan.
This was the high point of Sasuke's run. He became an antihero who cared only about killing those responsible for the death of his clan: his brother and accomplices. He would think strategically, had a good understanding of his limits, and had a no killing policy that was actually cool.
Then he went all-out villain. The big bad, Tobi, told Sasuke that the killing of his clan was on the orders of the leaders of his home village. He decided to kill everyone in the village for this. A bit of an overreaction, kid. I'd like to point out that this included Sakura, who showed nothing but love and understanding for him. But, no, you have the same zip code as the guy who killed Sasuke's family, so you have to die. And, in case you forget that Sasuke's clan is dead, he is keen to remind EVERYONE every five seconds. The little whiner.
As if this wasn't bad enough, Sasuke's arrogance was back EN MASS! He felt like he could accomplish anything, yet failed constantly. Right after going evil, he had to have his life saved four times in one fight. IN ONE FIGHT. All the while saying how he doesn't need his teammates and is the greatest ninja ever.
This all gets topped off when Sakura manages to sneak up on him. She tried to stab him, but couldn't bring herself to do it because of the feelings she had for him. Now, the one thing everyone knows about "Naruto" is that Sakura is generally useless. And she was able to sneak up on Sasuke. This is why Sasuke saying that he'll kill Naruto doesn't invoke fear, but laughter. Sasuke fails to be interesting or threatening. He's a joke and the manga is better without him in it.

I'm sure you guys know of a lot more.

Forlong:
Vaati from The Legend of Zelda

Yeah, no. Vaati's intention is to become a god by merging with the Light Force, the white
crystal that gives the Triforce of Light its power, enabling him to conquer Hyrule.

OT: All the "baddies" in Friendship is Magic that aren't Celestia. Enough said.

Every Batman villain from the Adam west Era. They're all, just terrible.

I've never been a big fan of Captain Boomerang, especially compared to the other Rogues. But I did like his story in Identity Crisis.

I'm struggling to find any terrible video game villains. I bet there are loads, I'm just drawing a blank.

EDIT:

jakko12345:
Every Batman villain from the Adam west Era. They're all, just terrible.

That's the whole point, the show is tongue in cheek and they're supposed to be caricatured and a bit stupid.

Calendar man from batman, at least he has class and a sweet voice in Arkham City.

Lol cutman, he's a pair of scissors... he's only really a threat if you try and run while you kidnap him.

penguindude42:

Forlong:
Vaati from The Legend of Zelda

Yeah, no. Vaati's intention is to become a god by merging with the Light Force, the white
crystal that gives the Triforce of Light its power, enabling him to conquer Hyrule.

Lol did you not play the fight against vaati? in what universe can that ever be an effective way to kill someone?! "i'm going to walk forward while doing a chopping motion with my sword arms, and unless you walk sideways. YOU WILL DIE! also, in 50% of the phases my butt is the weakspot just fyi"

Dustman. Just... really? The best concept they could come up with for an evil robot is dust? He even looks pretty silly.


Dustman is closely followed in lameness by his relative, Brightman.

In b4 "Sephiroth is lame compared to Kefka"

OT: Seymour Guado. He was your standard power crazed crazy dude, but happened to also control a religion. And he refused to F*****G die. Not a single badass "i should be scared of this dude" moment. His summon? Yeah. Him? No.

Lightning Delight:
Dustman. Just... really? The best concept they could come up with for an evil robot is dust? He even looks pretty silly.


Dustman is closely followed in lameness by his relative, Brightman.

Yeah those were really lame bosses.

I would argue that somewhere around there Blizzard Man should be there too, I mean, look at him!

NameIsRobertPaulson:
In b4 "Sephiroth is lame compared to Kefka"

OT: Seymour Guado. He was your standard power crazed crazy dude, but happened to also control a religion. And he refused to F*****G die. Not a single badass "i should be scared of this dude" moment. His summon? Yeah. Him? No.

I think that is when it got to be ridiculous with Seymour. The sheer amount of fights was what lost his effect.

OT: The main villain in Fable 2 felt very lack lustre throughout the game. I was never scared of him and the only thing that even made him a threat were his minions he himself was just an ordinary man. It would have been nice if he was a hero two and you had a big fight at the end but they took a different route.

Lightning Delight:
Dustman is closely followed in lameness by his relative, Brightman.

Who, ironically, wasn't very bright.

Jedi Knight 3: Jedi Academy simply re-used the pathetically lame sidekick of the villain from Jedi Knight 2.
Jedi Knight 2 already had a pretty lame villain (somewhat scary-looking reptilian dude who siphoned off extra force power from a Jedi graveyard), and the apprentice you're fighting in Jedi Knight 3 is just a woman in skimpy clothes with feathers in her hair who dug up a force-infused scepter belonging to some old Sith Lord. Whoop-dee-Doo.

Adding to her complete non-impressiveness is the fact that you (well, Kyle Katarn, the player character in JK2) soundly kicked her ass in a mid-boss battle in the previous game (despite having only recently regained control of his force powers), and now you, a simple Padawan, are expected to do the same. Let's face it, even if she beat your current character, she'd just get her ass handed to her on a platter by a fully restored Katarn or Mara Jade, and Luke Skywalker could probably just force-crush her skull with his pinky, scepter of Marka Ragnos or not.

Sheepman.

A robot that looks like a sheep, nice work Wiley.

image

him over there:
Calendar man from batman, at least he has class and a sweet voice in Arkham City.

Well in a long Halloween he holds some threat, committing holiday themed murders. He's suspected to be the holiday killer who he (SPOILER) kills at the end as he sees him as a threat. He's pretty awesome in that book. And the game.

What's his face from Ass Creed Bro, C- something. Y'know the main bad guy who you fight on some battlements towards the end. Damn that's gonna annoy me.

By the second half of the game he was a damn terrible villain. He was setting himself up for epic falls left and right and blundering through so much crap even without Ezio's shenanigans.

Oh and

in Portal 2.

But his lameness is what makes him awesome, I love the epic villainous speeches he makes while he's inexpertly throwing traps at you.

"Did something break back there? Oh! Oh! Did it kill you?! That would be amazing if it killed you!"

The funny thing is he's that very specific kind of stupid where all his traps are actually pretty good but his timing and execution of them is shockingly bad.

Tom Templeton:

him over there:
Calendar man from batman, at least he has class and a sweet voice in Arkham City.

Well in a long Halloween he holds some threat, committing holiday themed murders. He's suspected to be the holiday killer who he (SPOILER) kills at the end as he sees him as a threat. He's pretty awesome in that book. And the game.

That seems pretty cool, I should read more comics I guess. I liked how they included something more obscure like him in AC too.

The Wykydtron:
What's his face from Ass Creed Bro, C- something. Y'know the main bad guy who you fight on some battlements towards the end. Damn that's gonna annoy me.

By the second half of the game he was a damn terrible villain. He was setting himself up for epic falls left and right and blundering through so much crap even without Ezio's shenanigans.

Oh and

in Portal 2.

But his lameness is what makes him awesome, I love the epic villainous speeches he makes while he's inexpertly throwing traps at you.

"Did something break back there? Oh! Oh! Did it kill you?! That would be amazing if it killed you!"

The funny thing is he's that very specific kind of stupid where all his traps are actually pretty good but his timing and execution of them is shockingly bad.

Cesare. I quite liked him: he's a particularly violent, childish twat with inordinate amounts of power because of his Daddy.

STREGA from Persona 3.

Chidori and Jin are probably some of the weakest bosses in JRPG history. Also, Takaya pretending to be jesus?

Sure, go for it.

Alright, I'll say it. Sephiroth. Yes, FF7's Sephiroth.

In my opinion, he is just a long-haired emo with severe mommy issues. He had numerous opportunities to kill Cloud and company, but nope, instead of dealing with his biggest threats he uses his power to murder some suits at Shinra and nameless people at Golden Saucer. Also, he completely FAILED at his goals of becoming a god and destroying the world unlike his predecessor Kefka.

EDIT:

NameIsRobertPaulson:
In b4 "Sephiroth is lame compared to Kefka"

Well played good sir... Well played...

How about the Nihilanth from the first half-life? You come all this way through time, space, the xen dimension and who knows what else, and what is the final boss of this awesome game?
You battle a gigantic ugly baby who just sorta floats around slowly. No music plays to give atmosphere, no good explaination for what the hell it actually is or how to kill it. It only has 2 attacks, one of which is really not even an attack because it just teleports you to a different room, forcing you to tediously climb your way back to a teleport so you can actually FIGHT him some more.
The only way to kill him involves using these jump pads which are frustrating and oftentimes unpredictable.

The first time I played the game it took me around 40ish minutes to finally kill him (mostly spent climbing out of rooms he'd teleported me into). By the end I was just tired of fighting him and wanted the battle to be over.

Tom Templeton:

him over there:
Calendar man from batman, at least he has class and a sweet voice in Arkham City.

Well in a long Halloween he holds some threat, committing holiday themed murders. He's suspected to be the holiday killer who he (SPOILER) kills at the end as he sees him as a threat. He's pretty awesome in that book. And the game.

Ah, I was going to say this too. Yeah, Calendar Man is FAR from the worst Batman villain. That title belongs to Kite Man:

image

Yes, he is a criminal that commits kite-related crimes. Dear God.

I'd also like to nominate Team Rocket, but they kinda suffer from the William Hung effect, and they're SO awful they're kinda great.

Quinn from Chuck : Season 5. He kinda just appeared out of nowhere and never seemed like much of threat.

He had one line which was the best part of season 5.

"I spent 12 months in a hole!.... IN A HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

NameIsRobertPaulson:
In b4 "Sephiroth is lame compared to Kefka"

to be fair, Sephiroth is just kind of a crappy villain over all, not just when compared to Kefka

Glademaster:

OT: The main villain in Fable 2 felt very lack lustre throughout the game. I was never scared of him and the only thing that even made him a threat were his minions he himself was just an ordinary man. It would have been nice if he was a hero two and you had a big fight at the end but they took a different route.

Damn, was going to say this myself, what a disappointing finale. Really just unimpressive.

I never heard of the Penny Pusher until now. You sure he existed as I found nothing about him in comicbook form?

Anyway-
In Batman there is a villain who use condiemnt (saurce used on food like ketchup, vineger, mustard etc) as a weapon


Ok so he put all of that saurce into a spray gun? Unless that pressure is like whose waterhose used for fire, he is utterly useless. I mean sure your clothing will get drench but at long you wearing something to protect your eyes/ face you can beat this villain with ease!

Melzas from the Adventures of Alundra... You spend the entire game collecting rocks to put on pedastals, and corrcting nightmares that are being planted in people by the main bad guy... although the dreams content is created by the dreamer!

Collecing the stones takes you to areas that are dangerous, and full of monsters, but were anyway! Next, you fight the Murgg a lot, that are vicious monkeys, that were spurred on by this big bad guy... eventually you get to his tower. So far all he has done is acted like a wuss standing at the back, and sending stuff at you! You have fought legions of monsters, grotesque beasts and demons, dragons, gigantic stone guardians, and been through some feindish puzzles and you face Melzas, the final boss! He sends his minion at you and you kill it... only hime left... problem is he is surprisingly easy... seriously! A pathetic final boss! Eventually you just walk up to him after the final dialogue, and execute him... game over!

There is only one that is more pathetic... That is Lucian from Fable II.... But we won't go there! :/

Scarim Coral:
I never heard of the Penny Pusher until now. You sure he existed as I found nothing about him in comicbook form?

Anyway-
In Batman there is a villain who use condiemnt (saurce used on food like ketchup, vineger, mustard etc) as a weapon


Ok so he put all of that saurce into a spray gun? Unless that pressure is like whose waterhose used for fire, he is utterly useless. I mean sure your clothing will get drench but at long you wearing something to protect your eyes/ face you can beat this villain with ease!

I dunno, he's bad, but I'm not sure he's Kite-Man bad. I mean, hot sauce burns, and you can beat Kite-Man with a strong breeze.

"Well if it isn't my old foes, Man-Spider and Bastard Man. I knew you were behind this!"

Nah,jokes. Everyone knows they're awesome really. Have a Nice Day Man and Mashed Potato in a Sock Man suck.

Grayson Hunt. He's an awful guy that murders people, destroys a dinosaur's eggs for convenience, kills the momma dinosaur, activates a bomb that is supposed to wipe out everything biological on the planet, gets all of his friends killed save for one that underwent excruciating cybernetic implants before being captured and all of this after brutally gunning down a little girl's father while she's in the next room.

Spector from the ape escape series.

When not allowing his "minions" to run around doing whatever the fuck they want, he's busy building bat-shit insane crap like...

the orbital lethargy laser

to...what, get zookeepers fired?

That squeaky little freak thing from RE4. I just turned off after he appeared, Biohazard was pretty weird but that just took the fucking piss, I just couldn't play it after that. It was like this one character had made the jump from B movie to comedy, like if you took Star Wars and replaced Darth Vader with Dark Helmet, the majority of the game/movie is played comparatively straight and then you have this ludicrous diminutive caricature thrown in. It's the first and only time I've ever seen a single story element or character in any type of media that has just made me turn it off/put the book down/whatever and just say "fuck it, I'm outta here".

neonsword13-ops:
STREGA from Persona 3.

Chidori and Jin are probably some of the weakest bosses in JRPG history. Also, Takaya pretending to be jesus?

Sure, go for it.

Where is the your avatar from?

On topic: That Napoleanic dwarf from RE4. Lame, but he brought variety at least.

penguindude42:

All the "baddies" in Friendship is Magic that aren't Celestia.

Uh, don't you mean "that aren't Dischord"?
Yea, all the villains pre-G4 are spectacularly lame, I actually watched those episodes specifically to see the villains, because someone said they sucked.

I disagree with the Sasuke part, sure his powers are pretty overpowered and Kishimoto tends to pull them out from his ass exactly what the Sharingan is capable of, but Sasuke himself is a well developed character.

Over the past 12 years he's been developed magnificently, the evolution of his character has been really interesting.

He starts out as a nice little kid, then his family gets killed and he becomes cold and distant, refusing to associate with anybody. Eventually he becomes a part of Team 7 and gradually warms up to his new family, culminating with his battle against Gaara in which he had forsaken his goal of killing Itachi in order to protect his friends.

Then Orochimaru and Itachi come along to fuck everything up, reminding Sasuke exactly how pissed off he should be at the situation, Sasuke is once again corrupted and betrays Konoha in favour of training with Orochimaru. Despite his corruption he couldn't bringing himself to kill anybody, sparing Naruto after their epic battle.

3 years later we see Sasuke has put on an increasingly cold front, but is still difficult to define as a villain since he still has morals, he absolutely refuses to kill anybody unless he has to. Usually he prefers to simply incapacitate his foes. He's more of an anti-hero than anything, after all, he's not really on Orochimaru's side, and he's only trying to kill another bad guy at this point.

Then Itachi dies, Sasuke learns the truth about everything and he starts to visibly crack. He still retains his goal of avenging his clan, but now he intends to massacre an entire village to do so. At the Kage Summit, Karin notes that Sasuke has a demonic essence to his chakra now. And after Sasuke's battle with Danzo, he finally emerges as a true villain by attempting to kill pretty much everybody.

It's also worth noting that batshit insane Sasuke is very awesome and hilarious.

EDIT:

If you want a really lame anime villain, consider Dante from FMA, one of the worst villains ever.

Ok, here we go!

M. Bison (street fighter)

...Umm...He's a silly maniac who can cover himself in purple flame to ram into stuff. He's also a dictator who seems to spend more time in fighting tournaments and making female clones of himself than actually being a villain. What's his motivation? What's the point of most of his shenanigans?

Kerrigan (Starcraft 2)

Ok, in Brood war, she was freaking badass. Not only does she play the protoss for fools, AND use every other major faction in the sector to her advantage before backstabbing all of them the second they think they're safe, but she ALSO manages to (well, with the player's help, anyway) take down THREE enemy fleets, and have enough power to rule the whole damn sector.

And then, in starcraft 2...

Batt Jr (no more heroes 2, Desperate Struggle)

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