What would you do?
Keep (we're trying, yay!)
4.5% (26)
4.5% (26)
Keep (Not planned, but it's my responsibility)
19.4% (111)
19.4% (111)
Abortion
51.2% (293)
51.2% (293)
Adoption
5.1% (29)
5.1% (29)
Don't know!
9.8% (56)
9.8% (56)
Other?
9.6% (55)
9.6% (55)
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Poll: You're pregnant. What do you do?

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Reading this thread is amazing. A lot of people don't realize how much you change after having a child, If you are truly worried enough about the child's well being that you don't think you have the maturity to raise it, you'll surprise yourself at how much you grow up when you have one. If you liken a child to a parasite, then maybe you should hold off...

OT: If my woman got pregnant...we give high fivez! If I was younger, It would be impossible to have a kid since I practiced abstinence. Also surprised by the 50% abortion choice. I can't honestly say I'm 100% pro-choice, because the physical and mental trauma induced by an abortion is incredibly hard on the body. My political leanings are generally leftist, but I just don't think abortion is a valid option for someone who gets pregnant. As far as the mother is concerned, there is a much greater chance of sterility, depression, and other complications if she decides to get an abortion. Also, how can we say with certainty what that child's future holds? I've seen the most amazing people come from the most broken of homes.

Just my personal opinion, and I won't force it on anyone; I'm not the self-righteous type. I just think moms are the most amazing kind of human being, which is why it shocks us so much when a mother commits an act of cruelty toward a child.

(I'm a man) I would rent Junior (1994) and see how Arnold Schwarzenegger dealt with it to be honest.

If I were the man who got someone pregnant, as a guy who has 0 experience in that situation, I would leave it upto the soon-to-be mom. If she wants to keep it, then if she's not a total a-hole then I'm probably getting married, if she is an a-hole then I suppose child support.

Newby_Newb:

AmayaOnnaOtaku:
Keep the child, I had sex knowing full well the consequences, and I am adult enough to accept them

Best reply in the whole thread.

image

Such bullshit. If you don't want a child, that does not mean you should not have sex; that is what birth control exists for. If you are using birth control and it happens to be the 0,1% case where it does not work, it does not mean you should keep the thing.

Now if you don't want a kid but are not using any protection, that's just stupid.

Wow, there have been some interesting replies. Treading on the edge of flame territory, but I spose it's a controversial topic so that's bound to happen!

Regarding abortion, I think it's interesting to consider that lots of animals can self-induce abortions when conditions are unfavourable. I know most people here (with our video games and internet connections and computers) probably wont feel the effects of a drought or whatever, but abortion isn't this unnatural thing. It's a part of survival. If bunnies and armadillos can decide when it's not right to have babies, I think humans should be able to as well.

(And yes humans are on a bit of a different level with morals and whatnot but it's all relative)

Also, people have been having abortions for thousands of years, way back into the prehistoric period, so the idea that its just modern people who don't want to take responsibility for their actions is wrong. It's in human nature to want to have sex but not to have babies, and practices have been in place probably since the dawn of medicine.

bauke67:
Let's just pretend I'm a woman for now. I can either have it aborted, or I can just sacrifice 9 months of my for that baby's entire LIFE. You can always have it adopted after that.
Doesn't that sound simple enough?

Hell yeah. I abort it before it's got a life, win-win. Or well win-nothing since I win and it wasn't a being with an agenda or consciousness.

I chose abortion simply because I have a pre-existing condition that would make full term pregnancy very difficult, if not fatal.

As a guy I would have to say right now I am in no position to give a kid the attention and care it needs. I would like my girlfriend to focus on her university education and career opportunities just like I am right now. Falcon Punch seems logical at this point.

Doesn't matter, had sex.

But who am I to talk, when I got pregnant it's because we were trying. We'd used protection on those other times. Still, this hard line anti-abortion stuff is kind of hard to swallow. It seems like a lot of women's rights and opinions are not being proportionately valued in the discussion as a whole; I had an 'at-risk' pregnancy and my husband and I sat down with the doctor and we all had a long and informed talk about whether or not we should have an abortion: what would be the risks to me, the babies (twins they were) the whole she-bang-a-bang.

call a medical magazine and tell the impossible has happened: A man got pregnant.

Abortion, I don't want a kid nor am I in a good position to raise one while I'm still at uni.

Enough with the "I'm a bloke and got pregnant" gags already.

Responses in here are not surprising when matched up against the demographics of The Escapist. Mostly late teens/early twenties, unemployed / students / part time jobs. It's pretty reasonable to expect that people in that situation would not want to have a baby, so no surprise abortion is runaway winner in the poll.

Survey my peer group: late twenties / early thirties, mostly professionals in good jobs with long term partners and mortgages: results would be about 90% yay! we made a baby. Personally, I would be stoked to have another kid, but I would hang up the boots and get the snip after that because 3 kids = awesome, 4 kids = minivan :(

Other.

Girl's choice. Not mine.

The entire idea behind abortion is that it's not a human being yet and as such has no father. It's a piece of tissue inside the pregnant woman's body and as such the final decision lies with her.

Adoption however I do have something to say about and the answer is likely "no" on that one. Whilst still a student I would be capable of taking care of a baby, especially since I would have the support of my own parents, and as such that child, once born, is my responsibility and I should take care of it if I can, not pass that burden on to someone else. If I wasn't willing to bear that responsibility I should have ensured protection was worn during the act to prevent pregnancy.

OniaPL:

Newby_Newb:

AmayaOnnaOtaku:
Keep the child, I had sex knowing full well the consequences, and I am adult enough to accept them

Best reply in the whole thread.

image

Such bullshit. If you don't want a child, that does not mean you should not have sex; that is what birth control exists for. If you are using birth control and it happens to be the 0,1% case where it does not work, it does not mean you should keep the thing.

Now if you don't want a kid but are not using any protection, that's just stupid.

The "Thing" you speak of is a human life.

OT: Well, I'm a single guy, but if I had a wife or girlfriend...If it's a girlfriend, then I guess I'm stupid for sleeping with her*. If it's my wife, then yay, I've always wanted to start a family.

Either way though, the topic would have to be discussed before marriage or sex.

*I'm not saying it's stupid for people to sleep with their girlfriends/boyfriends. It's just a personal rule of mine that I won't sleep with anyone besides my spouse.

Calling the thread where the guy claimed abortion were against women's right interesting is a lie. He was misinformed, stated blatant lies and bias from people who are pro-choice and listing them as truth rather than giving the cold hard truth.

However that isn't the topic. If I were to get a girl pregnant right now I would leave it all to her what she would do with it. I don't have any say since I would not carry it and I would probably not be able to help much taking care of it since I'm a student. I would help out if she wanted me to, but I would not try to get my way in this. If this were after I had finished my education and got a job I would have wanted her to keep it and I would be able to help out. The choice would still be hers to make though.

Silly answer: Question my manhood.
Serious answer: If I had a girlfriend and she got pregnant, I'd be open for abortion but also open for keeping the baby. Depends on the situation.

BringBackBuck:
because 3 kids = awesome, 4 kids = minivan :(

0 kids = Porsche and a stain free condo.

For us we discussed that having kids was just not our thing.
Along with that, I would have to invest a lot of time, money and hormonal mood swings to even get pregnant in the first place due t medical conditions.

If I was pregnant? I'd find ways to make money off of the freak of nature that has happened.

And I'd go tell everyone I know that they were the father

Edit: Oh, if I actually got a girl pregnant?

Hmm... I think I'd leave it up to her. I'd prefer to never have to deal with an abortion in my life, but I also am not grown up enough to raise a kid with a random girl.

Generic I'm a guy; how did this happen comment!

But seriously it would depend on the circumstances, for example I was a bit of a man whore last weekend and if either of those two lovely ladies ended getting pregnant I would go full on what they wanted to do, I really have no part in there lives other than "that guy I met in a club and took back to my place" so if they wanted to keep it I'd help out in anyway I could, even try for a relationship with said lady. Same way as if they wanted to abort/adopt I would respect that decision.

However if I did have a long term girlfriend. I would want to keep the wee baby. I've finished the education stage of my life, have a solid-ish job with a lot of potential, I'm in a relatively comfortable position to start considering these things.

Not surprised but kind of sad about the amount of abortion poll answers. I'm not against it but... that's a lot.

I'm all for the old school approach when it comes to these things...

image

Angie7F:

BringBackBuck:
because 3 kids = awesome, 4 kids = minivan :(

0 kids = Porsche and a stain free condo.

For us we discussed that having kids was just not our thing.
Along with that, I would have to invest a lot of time, money and hormonal mood swings to even get pregnant in the first place due t medical conditions.

You think you're so clever because of all your free time, disposable income, sports car, baby-vomit free clothing, sleep-ins on the weekend, social life, single friends, brunch, a still functioning sex life, and the fact as soon as any other person in the world who also has children not only thinks you want to hear about their shitty kids but also want their advice on how to raise yours...wait, I've lost my train of thought - where was I going with this again?

If no one minds yet another biological male weighing in on the subject:

Any decision to give birth or not (even before conception), certainly requires a great deal of genuine dialogue between partners. Together, you have to carefully consider not only the lesser concerns about whether an addition to the family can be financially supported, but the fact that you essentially have to make the most important choice of a person's life for them (the child's decision to be born). This must be considered because it will take some significant ethical commitment, care, and healing to mend that transgression.

Personally, I think of a true sexual encounter as something that should flow from love, and I have a strict sense of responsibility in the first place, so its unlikely that I'd ever find myself in this hypothetical situation. But that said, trying to come up with a hard principle to address every variant of such a situation (regardless of who your partner is, the nature of your relationship, what they want, what is best for the child given your mutual attitudes) is wrong-headed. This is a deeply personal (i.e. interpersonal) affair.

Let's say we're beyond the ideal scenario though. To somewhat oversimplify the situation, one might say that if the child is being objectified, if one or more parents are more concerned about themselves than the child or some sort of principle than the person they are talking about bringing into existence, and it seems unlikely that anyone will change by the time of birth - an early-term abortion may be a reasonable option (though such an act should by no means be taken lightly - each a tragedy born of our weaknesses). If one does go through the process of aborting a fetus, it had better be a transformative event - not one that happens twice if at all possible.

No, I don't believe that life in any truly meaningful sense begins at biological conception. A *child* is conceived through love; a "kid" is born through just the meeting of gametes. Still, between committing an absurd act of violence in abortion or cruelly throwing another person into the world with no intention of committing yourself to offering them a real family - neither answer is right if it does not bring serious transformation in the parents. If the child's immanent arrival does not transform a couple into a loving family, there can only suffering and hopefully growth in the would-be parents.

P.S. If my original answer became too unclear/confusing, I'm personally of such a disposition that I'm more likely to want to keep the child, but by no means would I consider my will the last word. My partner and I will consider each other's convictions as well as the potential child's welfare (in all its forms), and the possibility of our ethical debt to the child.

Yopaz:
Calling the thread where the guy claimed abortion were against women's right interesting is a lie. He was misinformed, stated blatant lies and bias from people who are pro-choice and listing them as truth rather than giving the cold hard truth.

Yeah, I meant interesting as in "interesting". As in: 'My, what interestingly misinformed views you hold.'

Being a guy, I'd probably freak the fuck out. Well, not probably. Odds are though, the closest I'll ever get to pregnant would be if another dog/cat passes it's fleas on to me or, possibly if I get some kind of parasitic infestation. Reasons to freak out but not FtFO...pregnant with a human baby though? I'm either dreaming or in Hell.

Garyn Dakari:

OniaPL:

Such bullshit. If you don't want a child, that does not mean you should not have sex; that is what birth control exists for. If you are using birth control and it happens to be the 0,1% case where it does not work, it does not mean you should keep the thing.

Now if you don't want a kid but are not using any protection, that's just stupid.

The "Thing" you speak of is a human life.

OT: Well, I'm a single guy, but if I had a wife or girlfriend...If it's a girlfriend, then I guess I'm stupid for sleeping with her*. If it's my wife, then yay, I've always wanted to start a family.

Either way though, the topic would have to be discussed before marriage or sex.

*I'm not saying it's stupid for people to sleep with their girlfriends/boyfriends. It's just a personal rule of mine that I won't sleep with anyone besides my spouse.

But it is not human life. It is not a he or she, it's "it". It is not a human, it is just a clump of cells that will one day take the form of a human if allowed to do so.

Well as a man, if i was pregnant i would immediately panic.

Crenelate:

Yopaz:
Calling the thread where the guy claimed abortion were against women's right interesting is a lie. He was misinformed, stated blatant lies and bias from people who are pro-choice and listing them as truth rather than giving the cold hard truth.

Yeah, I meant interesting as in "interesting". As in: 'My, what interestingly misinformed views you hold.'

Aah, yeah it was pretty interesting to see anyone that misinformed

Wait? How on earth did that happen? How am I even going to-eeeew....

Can we move onto something else please?

2 years ago the 17 year old I was with got pregnant. We had been together for about 3 months at the time. *maths* yep.

I immediately proposed. We had talked everything through before but we were so in love we could not think of abortion. Its strange. Speaking from experience, everyone will talk about these options like they are easy. But we had. At length. We had decided that if the situation occurred, we would abort. But once we were in the situation, everything changed. Instantly. We did the research on how it would change things, we made quiet inquiries, stuff like that. We were committed to keeping it.

I had never seen my then fiance so happy as she was during her pregnancy.

However, around the 16 week stage she misscarried. It destroyed her and, ultimately, destroyed us. In retrospect? Well, it is hard to clearly see retrospect. We had done things wrong (Young and very stupid, long conversation one night and we even named the little potential thing. Humans. Are. Irrational.) and as a result there was way too much emotion and still is way too much emotion to think about things clearly. Part of me thinks to this DAY that if she had not misscarried that things would have been different, she would have kept herself healthy, we would have stayed together. Some of the rational part of me thinks that its a good thing (18 year old college student raising a kid with his 17 year old girlfriend? Even with family support that would have been hell and probably unhappy).

But it taught me an important life lesson.

People are... Too willing to state things with -certainty- when they simply do not know. You do not KNOW how you would react in the situation if it presented itself. You simply do not. Oh, sure, you can base your opinion of how you might react on who you are and your past experience but it does not follow. Truly. At the time I was a die-hard atheist (Things changed) who based every single one of his opinions on logic. Hell, I did not get together with that girlfriend out of love or lust but out of logic, it was a cold decision that blossomed into love. But still, the moment the situation presented itself, the moment we were actually IN the situation, everything changed. EVERYTHING. She was positively glowing.

So...

Assuming I got someone pregnant right now (Highly unlikely, I am voluntarily celibate this year) I would probably keep it. After everything that I went through part of me... part of me started seeing some of the points of the Anti-Choice lobby. See, in my eyes too many people use abortion as a form of birth control. And since there are people who go through what I went through every day, there are couples who try for years and simply cannot have kids, there are people who want kids but have complications that prevent this, well... Abortion makes me angry now. It does. I feel bad about it. But... I simply believe that too many abortions are currently occurring. Now, I aint saying if people would be totally unable to support a child they should not have an abortion. But... Well, a lot of people seem to go for that option because it would effect their lives too much to have a kid. And that angers me. It does. It is not a natural reaction.

But I have never wanted anything so much as I wanted that child. Something clicked in my head, the day I found out she was pregnant was the day I realised I wanted to become a father, the day she had the miscarriage was the day a small part of me died. So when someone makes a choice to end what I would give anything to have had, simply because it would COMPLICATE things? It might make things a bit harder? They might have to put a career plan on hold? It feels like a slap in the face to me. A punch. And it feels like a resounding "FUCK YOU" to anyone who is trying and failing to have children.

slap the doctor for screwing up the surgery and then sue his ass

Silvianoshei:
Reading this thread is amazing. A lot of people don't realize how much you change after having a child, If you are truly worried enough about the child's well being that you don't think you have the maturity to raise it, you'll surprise yourself at how much you grow up when you have one. If you liken a child to a parasite, then maybe you should hold off...

Believe me, there are too many out there who would not want an abortion who should never ever have kids. Some mature when it's required, but there are enough who don't.

Garyn Dakari:

The "Thing" you speak of is a human life.

No, it's not. At the time where it's acceptable to have an abortion the nerves have yet to develop. Seriously, if you call this image
a human life there is something seriously wrong with you. Especially since this is the foetus of a pig, which I am sure you did not gather from the image. An adult pig is a lot more developed than an early embryo, so by your definition we should not eat pigs because of how advanced they are. Even trees are more advanced than a foetus. There are a few requirements when we define life, and being able to find food is one of them. So by the ACTUAL definition a foetus can barely be called living at all.

Cant ever imagine going for the abortion option. Though I do want to be a daddy quite badly. I work, she works. We earn a decent living. Sure it'd put a stress on things, but im positive it'll be worth it. I may only be 20, but I know what I want. And my better half is 23, and she's already expressed her fondness to becoming a mother. Who am I to deny her? :)

scream thats not how science works, why have you failed me...

Silvianoshei:

OT: If my woman got pregnant...we give high fivez! If I was younger, It would be impossible to have a kid since I practiced abstinence. Also surprised by the 50% abortion choice. I can't honestly say I'm 100% pro-choice, because the physical and mental trauma induced by an abortion is incredibly hard on the body. My political leanings are generally leftist, but I just don't think abortion is a valid option for someone who gets pregnant. As far as the mother is concerned, there is a much greater chance of sterility, depression, and other complications if she decides to get an abortion. Also, how can we say with certainty what that child's future holds? I've seen the most amazing people come from the most broken of homes.

You're male, you are speaking of something you will never experience. You can't comment on the 'physical and mental trauma' that a woman goes through, and how can you say that that is greater than the physical and mental trauma that a woman would under go if she were to have a child?

How can you say there's a greater chance of complication and depression? There are plenty more hazards that come with forcing a baby out.

I don't want to have a massive rant, maybe I just got out the wrong side of the bed. But I don't think you should be talking about the emotional implications of abortion, when you have no idea how it feels.

No, I don't know how it feels either, but I sure as hell know I would be a lot more traumatised and depressed if I was stuck with a baby.

And I do have a friend who has gone through with it, and it was completely the right choice for her. She's not depressed or sunken into a black hole of regret, yes she was upset, but it hasn't detrimentally affected her.

Yopaz:

Silvianoshei:
Reading this thread is amazing. A lot of people don't realize how much you change after having a child, If you are truly worried enough about the child's well being that you don't think you have the maturity to raise it, you'll surprise yourself at how much you grow up when you have one. If you liken a child to a parasite, then maybe you should hold off...

Believe me, there are too many out there who would not want an abortion who should never ever have kids. Some mature when it's required, but there are enough who don't.

Garyn Dakari:

The "Thing" you speak of is a human life.

No, it's not. At the time where it's acceptable to have an abortion the nerves have yet to develop. Seriously, if you call this image
a human life there is something seriously wrong with you. Especially since this is the foetus of a pig, which I am sure you did not gather from the image. An adult pig is a lot more developed than an early embryo, so by your definition we should not eat pigs because of how advanced they are. Even trees are more advanced than a foetus. There are a few requirements when we define life, and being able to find food is one of them. So by the ACTUAL definition a foetus can barely be called living at all.

*leaves all forms of religion at the door*

This is not about a cold hearted depiction of life. If humans were naturally psychopathic then yes, we could say this is about cold hearted depictions of life. But it is not. Human life is... Different (And if you disagree with me on that, this discussion is immediately done and your opinion is, in my eyes, invalidated) and by different I do not mean "Holy" or anything like that, I just mean that humans develop from embryos into, eventually, walking, talking, thinking people.

And that is the point that... Changes everything for me. Now at least, considering what I have already been through with regards to this topic. That little cluster of cells? If nature (Or science) does not get in its way will become a unique being. The chances of there being someone identical to him/her is, well impossible, both in genes and in who they will become. Now this is where the science gets blurred. The phrase "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts" does apply here. In reality? It is something beyond tiny that has no brain, no nervous system, no sense of self, it is a parasite. Hell, it takes a while for the little thing to be able to identify its parents AFTER is is born. But that little lump of cells is more than just... a little lump of cells. It is... Well, it is a hell of a lot of potential, but we cannot live our lives based on potential. Anyone will admit that it was the unique creation of two people and there will not be another bump of cells exactly like it ever again.

And that makes a difference.

Oh yes, you make arguments about "Complexity" but it depends on what levels you are grading complexity. In honesty that is a rather dead argument. Things are not just the sum of their parts.

Now, I am not against abortion per se, if the mothers life is at risk, for example, I am all for it. I just think that too many people think it is an easy choice (And everyone who thinks it is an easy choice is either naive or fucked up. Seriously, speaking from experience. I thought it would be an easy choice to make. I was naive) and too many people go through with it because they are scared of what it means and scared of having to change their lives. And in my eyes... Well, it feels like a bit of a punch to the groin. Which, as I have said, I feel bad about. But that is just how it feels.

tldr; blah blah blah, science is cold, it is not about the sum of its parts, it is about the whole and what it represents, oh god I overuse ellipsis whilst writing down my thoughts.

Honestly depends on how well I know the dad. If it was a one night stand with some stranger (highly unlikely but never say never) and I couldn't contact the guy, I'd probably abort. If it was with a partner, or at least someone I knew and got frisky with, I'd have to talk it over with them.

If in an ideal world and only my opinion mattered, I'd keep it. It's not its fault I made a mistake and I'd damn sure raise the kid better than half the other girls my age who've fallen prego. Plu I seem to be in the minority on this site who actually want kids.

I wouldn't give it up for adoption, purely because there's thousands of kids waiting for parents to love them, and I don't want to take their chance of a family away just because I was too much of a pussy to raise a kid.

I'm personally anti abortion, I'd only do it if there were absolutely no better option. (politically I'm all pro-choice, I don't care what you do with your body, just let me do my thing)

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