'Normal' was the only word I could think of for a catchy title.

I will explain what I mean....

After having recently chat to friends (both hetero and homo sexuals) I descovered that when it came around to them discovering what gender they preferred, they kinda just 'knew'. It may have taken a little while to figure it out, but when it clicked for them, they were content in knowing they had made the right choice.

Now here's my question - was it easy for you to decide upon which gender you preferred, or did it take you a while to figure out? I want you to think about this hard, and not just give responses like 'I was born straight/gay/whatever so therefore I grew up and followed it' because sure, that may have been your case, but can you honestly say there has never been a time where you doubted your sexuality, or experimented?

My own personal case is that I like women, although this has varied dramatically - when I was at school, I liked school-aged girls (a similar age to me at the time), when I was at university I liked girls a few years older than me, and now that I am out of university and into a working world I like older women (about 10-15 years older). However I have doubted my sexuality at one time, for a while I wasn't attracting any female attention and strangely lots of male attention, and so I thought I might be gay. I never acted upon it, but I did discuss it with a few of my gay friends (gay and lesbian friends) and just decided that it was a weird coincidence, and they were right, my female attention quickly returned after that.

However on a weird side note, and this is where the heart of my 'normality' question comes into play - Apart from one or two very special girls over the years, I don't really feel much for the girls I go out with, yet I go out with them to appear 'normal' as someone in their 20's who lives alone, and who doesn't have a girlfriend isn't really normal behaviour by any means.

So to conclude - how 'normal' are you? and do you do specific things to appear normal? and also how did you know what gender you like? have you ever had any doubts about your sexuality?

When I was younger, I would make comments about "this boy" or "this girl" being cute. I honestly never thought anything of it; I suppose I assumed it was normal. I was sitting in church one morning and the preacher was talking about homosexuality being a sin. I remember thinking very briefly on it before deciding that, if was really that bad, I would find out sooner or later.

As I grew older, I realized that there was a name for someone who was attracted to both genders, but I never really figured it was a big deal. When I told my mom in seventh grade, she cried and that shook me up for a while. So I tried pretending but ended up going back to what was "normal" for me.

Aw man. I had a funny anecdote all lined up for talking about normalcy. But then you were asking a question about sexuality, which I don't have humorous stories about. Sorry.

I'm straight, probably still will be in a few years. I just never thought of boys in a more attractive way: first was that I learned about being gay a bit late, second the obvious homophobia that plagues the middle school-era, third that I never got to experience it any way. It wasn't until some of my friends came out that I started thinking of it more seriously. Still, it never clicked that I would like men. Still only fifteen, so stick around and see if anything changes.

Still haven't dated a girl, or shown any interest in dating any--many reasons for that, most of which I'm conscious of and don't want to fix right now. Funnily enough, I have this suspicion that my homophobic parents think I'm gay, and I find it the funniest freaking thing in the world.

Riku'sTwilight:
Apart from one or two very special girls over the years, I don't really feel much for the girls I go out with, yet I go out with them to appear 'normal' as someone in their 20's who lives alone, and who doesn't have a girlfriend isn't really normal behaviour by any means.

Wait it's not normal to be in your 20's and live alone without a girlfriend? That is basicly me, so I guess you wouldn't consider me normal.

I'm 21, almost 22 and I live alone, I am also single. Though true most people I know in there 20's are in a relationship, I have never felt the need to have one to fit in or anything.

I've never really thought about what normal is, everyone one seems different to me, especially where I live. In my city sexuality is a very open idea, we have many homosexuals and transexuals that are very much supported by the community.

It seems normal these days to know what you are into sexually, I myself have a type of person I am into, but there sex has little to do with it, therefore I am usually called a Pansexual. I believe in love, no matter the form.

Basicly what I am trying to say is whether I think I am normal or not isn't going to change how I go about my life from day to day. How others perceive me also isn't going to change my life. Everyone feels different towards different things, and everyone is normal just by being themselves, what's not normal is denying who you are.

No, I'm not, at least not in the sense of acting like the typical straight male of my generation.

Simply put, I'm definitely heterosexual, but am not particularly interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with anyone at the moment, and have even less interest in a one night stand.

Currently, the only normal thing about me is my dosage of medication.

Nope, lesbian through and through in that I have NEVER wanted to have sex with a dude. Ever.

Gender, on the other hand, well, I'd rather it just not be around.

Hmmm I've considered that I was bi before because I do find some men vary attractive.
When I think about getting down and dirty however, I have no desire to receive or give any love.

Nope, im far from normal. i have 8 persona's living in my head of varied beliefs, ideas and thoughts about human kind. Dissociative Identity Disorder makes me feel unique. its very terrible to say, but its true. without my Persona's i would have had no one too talk too and there my friends

Riku'sTwilight:
So to conclude - how 'normal' are you? and do you do specific things to appear normal? and also how did you know what gender you like? have you ever had any doubts about your sexuality?

- Normal enough I guess. But my friends say I am quite weird, all of them, present and past.

- Yeah, go to bars, go to see crap movies, force a laugh here and there, some others. Not a big deal though, all of the thigs i do are things that i just don't care about, nothing that would actually be against what i belive.

- Lust basically, some girls i wanted to taste and... well, you get the idea. Never happened with dudes.

- Nahh, but same as you, at some points i have had more sucess with gay guys than with girls... sucks.

Also, mhee, it's common to go out with girls that you don't really feel much towards, like VERY common, you are totally normal there; though nomrally is just for sport and not "to appear normal".

About age, well, when i was 16 i liked girls 10 years older. Now I really don't care about the age, because i don't care about a relationship either.

Edit: A piece of (unasked) advice, you are a young adult, leave that "am I normal?" angst to the highschoolers. IMO concentrate on making enough money to be able to do the stuff you want (current and future), enjoy life and avoid doing a long therm commitment unless you have really though it trhough and are willing to keep it the rest of your life. The rest? Mhee, who cares about what boring people think? Trust yourself mate, even if you are not normal, follow your path.

I never doubted by sexuality because I love who I love. I'd say I'm not normal because my sexuality isn't a concrete form. I'm 80% straight and have next to no sex drive but love romance. It took me a while to find out since I was trying to put myself in one of the terms people use, until I just said fuck that my sexuality is fluid and will probably change.

If you're not just talking about orientation, yes I am weird. I question the norms of society which makes many people uncomfortable. I seek refuge on the internet where people who deviate from the norm gather.

I'm attracted to women. Never doubted it despite most of my life getting on with men better.
I haven't experiemented because I haven't felt the need.
Besides I haven't experimented with a relationship with a woman yet.

Overall I wouldn't call myself a "normal" person. That implies average, which I am not. However my sexuality has little to do with how "normal" I am.

Well, this brings up a rather funny and kinda stupid story.

So, when I was about 17 I started to toy with the idea of being gay. This had nothing at all to do with any kind of feelings for anyone, I just started to look around and noticed that I was practically the only person I knew who had never had any luck with the ladies, and one of the possibilities I came up with as to why was, maybe I simply didn't want it enough, that maybe subconciously, I was intentionally being cr*p at talking to women, because I was actually gay.

I tested it in the only way I knew how. I thought of the most inmistakably attractive male I could think of (Dean from supernatural) and I tried to...do the one hand dance to it, and it was nigh on impossible to even..."get excited", so I dismissed that suspicion.

So yeah, kinda a dumb little misadventure. Still don't know why I suck at talking to women, though.

As for being normal, well, often doubt I'm even human. I mean, if something doesn't look like a normal duck, and doesn't act like a normal duck, the logical conclusion is that it's not a normal duck. I do not look like a normal human should, and I definately don't act like one. So no, I'm not normal at all.

I never really doubted my sexuality. I had it figured out pretty well from porn in my teenage years. When you happen across gay porn by accident and are horrified instead of attracted while liking the straight stuff, you know you are straight.

Just because you notice some of the feminine qualities in a really girly looking gay man and feel a little arousal doesnt make you gay. Your just noticing the feminine, I admit I did feel some doubts when looking at a couple of images of very feminine gay men, but then i realised it was just the girly look of them.

When I was younger, I didn't really care what the sex of the person was when I first saw naked people. I just liked nakedness.

But yeah, I would barely call that anything. It got quashed out pretty quickly.

Maybe when I reach 40 I'll do the second half gay.

I really never was attracted too much to girls when I was a kid, nor was I with boys. It was very confusing at times. I have realized as I've grown older that I am not attracted to looks as much as I'm attracted to personality. Which makes much more sense why I wasn't attracted to anyone in high school. Mostly because my peers seem to spend most of their time copying everyone else and they were boring.

I thought that I was very unique and cool for a long time. But over time I found out that I'm just an ordinary normal young woman in so many ways, and actually I don't mind that. There is still stuff about me, that's unique, but hey being normal is quite okay :)

Of course I am, its the rest of the world that's weird.

Never had doubts really.
I wasn't really under pressure to define myself as anything, as I knew my mum wouldn't care if I liked girls or guys.

I did get a lot of crap for being a tomboy, people saying I must be a lesbian because I was more interested in games and climbing trees and playing with swords than the pink eyestrain that are female aimed kid's toys.

But I always had crushes on guys, at school, on telly, so I never really doubted it. When I was 16 I briefly wondered if I was asexual because I couldnt find any real people to be interested in, but that passed too. I consider my development normal, really.

The response for this has been amazing. Reading all your comments, about how each of you has your own normality and reading your own experiences has been eye-opening. I'm glad you shared, and I hope that reading others responses has helped you in some small sense.

Feel free to keep on posting though, it is a discussion after all

Nope, never had any doubts. My image of the ideal partner has indeed changed greatly over the course of years, but not the gender. Been straight since the day I was born (or at the very least since the time I have clear memories of)

Lucem712:
Well, I never really doubted my sexually per-say.

It's "per se", by the way.

Redlin5:
I can appear normal, I can blend in but should you get to know me...

I do not consider myself normal. I really don't want to be normal. I want to be me.

^ this.
I make an attempt to be myself and be as un-conforming as possible. I only like things when I come to terms with them, and very rarely give a damn about popular opinion of something. But this is a question about sexuality, so I'll address it at such.

I am decidedly "odd" when it comes to most things, because I will be open to trying most things at least once before deciding that I don't like it. This applies to all food, most movies, books, games, music, and most other things in my life. When it comes to sexuality, I was definitely conditioned to prefer girls, but over the last 4-5 years I occasionally ask myself "what about guys?" but after contemplating it for a minute or two, the answer is always "lol, no".

I think everyone should try everything at least once before deciding they like it or dislike it, but that does not apply to things that may be physically or psychologically harmful. Listening to a new band will not kill you, but trying to be homosexual "just to try it" can potentially be really dangerous to the psyche (depends on you of course).

So to answer your question, am I normal? Lol no. Sexually speaking? Mostly, but not really. I choose girls a while ago, and while I may occasionally play with idea of dudes, it never sticks. Guys just don't have that "thing" that I like about girls.

I can't really tell if you're asking if I'm normal or if I'm straight.
I'd say I'm probably both. Never had a girlfriend, but that's due to me being a massive coward and/or not really communicating with that many people overall, but I certainly wouldn't call myself gay.

Riku'sTwilight:
I want you to think about this hard, and not just give responses like 'I was born straight/gay/whatever so therefore I grew up and followed it' because sure, that may have been your case, but can you honestly say there has never been a time where you doubted your sexuality, or experimented?

also, i find it strange (as in surprising) that you and your friends had to actually think about it, for some time even - topics like this pop up every now and then, and my answer here is the same as always:

i don't have to think hard about it, because since i can think/remember, i always was into girls/women, never had any doubt, never had any reason to doubt, and the strange feeling like one has after an evening/night/morning with too much alcohol metabolites i have when i see homosexual men kissing or whatever confirmes my conviction that i am as straight as can be.

no, i do not hate trans/bi/homosexuals, i just don't like seeing man on man action; nor do i say to be as straight as a linear accelerator is the bestest way to be :)