Accepting Nerds/Geeks/Dorks that do not look Stereotypical

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I look like a metal fan, probably due to my epic long hair. People never "doubt" me, since I exude anime-fan in some mysterious way and I'm Greek, not as in my parents were from Greece, I actually lived the first 17 years of my life there, so combining my appearance with the identity of "the foreign guy with the dual citizenship" somehow is outlandish enough to allow people to see me in any light possible, including that of the greeky gamer anime fan who speaks Japanese.

Sometimes, I do make it easy on them though:

While other times I get random people on the street asking me to join their bands:

ObsidianJones:
[snip]

To be fair, I'm relatively sure that most of them don't mean to ostracise, but geeks do have a bit of a history of getting picked on, so can't exactly blame them for being a bit cautious around people who aren't immediately recognizable as geeks. :(

That said, just hang around, show 'em you really mean them no harm and share their interests. They'll open up eventually.

... Now it almost sounds like I'm talking about skittish animals.

Me=Commando/Geek/Brony

I feel your pain, Though i kind of, dislike people who fit into the stereotype of "looks like a geek"

Well i'm a pretty big nerd - to the point where seeing how far i can push my air-cooled 2500K is a fun night for me (5.2ghz with a $20 cooler - awesome), but i hit the gym once or twice a week and do pushups and walk a fair distance every day.
This goes with my 6'1 and bulky frame to make me seem more like the football or boxer type, and considering i can deadlift the back of a small car (450lbs ish) i'd say i don't fit into the normal 'nerd' look, unless i forget to shave my neckbeard and wear crap clothes.

I'm a moderately good looking (I stress the moderate part) 18 year old with a decent physique and my friends basically make up the entire school rugby team, of which I am a part of.

So yeah, I get where you're coming from in that sense. I doubt many would consider me a "hardcore" geek/nerd/whatever, but I could still throw down with the best of them trivia-wise. I just remember that one time when I told a friend I was excited about 2012's line-up of games, and one of the "geek" guys turned to me and scoffed "Call of Duty and Battlefield are already out." What a dick that guy was.

ObsidianJones:

Phasmal:
Well, I'm a girl. So there's that.
But also, I sometimes like surprising people. And staff in game shops are usually really nice to me.

Ha, I wish that was the case. I walked into the local Games Workshop a year ago, thinking about picking up a starter's kit (always wanted to, but they are so pricey). The guy running the table game looked at me and asked if I was lost, or if I was looking for modell's.

I told him I was now. Glad he lost his store some business.

Oh, yeah, I've had the `Are you lost?` line too. It happens, I just smile and say no.
Its quite funny the difference when I go in alone or with my boyfriend though.
We were necro'ing our PS2 so I went in to get a memory card, the dude fell over himself to be nice to me and gave me a selection of colours for my memory card (I chose the red one).

When we went in to get another one, (I was hovering around the new releases while my boyfriend went to get the card) dude just smacked a black one on the counter and that was it.

(I dont see this in a `har har people flirting with me` way, I think its genuinely sweet).

Phasmal:

Oh, yeah, I've had the `Are you lost?` line too. It happens, I just smile and say no.
Its quite funny the difference when I go in alone or with my boyfriend though.
We were necro'ing our PS2 so I went in to get a memory card, the dude fell over himself to be nice to me and gave me a selection of colours for my memory card (I chose the red one).

When we went in to get another one, (I was hovering around the new releases while my boyfriend went to get the card) dude just smacked a black one on the counter and that was it.

(I dont see this in a `har har people flirting with me` way, I think its genuinely sweet).

It's not really flirting, yeah, but guys always think they have a chance, always, no matter how crazy it is. "Maybe if I give her the right memory card she'll give me her number!!!" is probably what went through the guy's head. We can't really help it...>_>.

Dreiko:
It's not really flirting, yeah, but guys always think they have a chance, always, no matter how crazy it is. "Maybe if I give her the right memory card she'll give me her number!!!" is probably what went through the guy's head. We can't really help it...>_>.

I thought being nice to someone with the intent of trying to get their number was flirting.
But, whatever it is, its sweet. (As long as it's not done in a creepy way, but its usually nice in my experience).

I agree with you, often it's difficult for me to make friends with similar interests because of the way I look. IE... they don't believe that I'm into geeky stuff genuinely, until they hear me speak I guess. A lot of my college experience was being forced into friendships with vapid people because none of the nerds at my school felt comfortable around me.

Making friends on the web helps, they have no choice but to take your mind into account. That's why I love MMOs!

Phasmal:

I thought being nice to someone with the intent of trying to get their number was flirting.
But, whatever it is, its sweet. (As long as it's not done in a creepy way, but its usually nice in my experience).

Not quite, flirting is much more aimed, controlled and, well, active. This is not so much being nice with the intent to get the number but more hoping that by being nice you'll be rewarded by it. It's like helping a girl with a flat tire or jump-starting her car with yours. You don't really flirt with her when you do that, even when you wouldn't do it for a guy. The thing that propels your action is a tiny flicker of hope in the back of your mind that she'll somehow be captivated by your jump-starting-prowess and jump you. :P

Flirting is much more interactive and relies on seduction and humor and a bunch of other stuff, not on pure illogical faith.

Notice, he wasn't actually going to ever try and get your number, these situations are always passive. He just hoped you'd be grateful enough that you'd offer it! That's the key difference which makes this not-flirting. :D

Vegosiux:
I'm pretty sure it's fitting to say, at this point, "This is why TV is bad for the society".

Really. I mean, seriously. But on the other hand, hell, just strike up a conversation and see how it turns out, I don't know? How you look really shouldn't matter on whether or not you're a geek or not.

this ^

plus things in nerd/geek/dork culture itself.

ahem:

never trust a beautiful woman; especially one who's interested in you.

I'm a shorter guy that seems to be avoided for some reason, weight's bout average, and I'm pale and I don't look like I've been lifting weights (which is true*)

I asked one of the girls (small school and I've known them for ages, so they don't seem worried about me) and she said I was intimidating. dunno how, but I guess it's true. I went to one of the college days a year ago, and not a single college representitive walked up to me and tried me to go to that college, and I was there for a couple of hours. Oh well, I've got a group of guys I hang out with and that's enough.

rhizhim:
[
ahem:

never trust a beautiful woman; especially one who's interested in you.

Sounds bout right, maybe I'm just paranoid *shrug*

I'm a geek-girl (which in itself is strange if you listen to stereotypes). I'm a bit chubby, yes, but I've been told that I'm quite attractive. I'm a gigantic fan of Vampire the masquerade and still have lots of books to read. I do have stereotypical looking geek-friends, glasses, not extremely attractive, etc but they were never that suspicious, because we met each other in uni's anime society. Probably the reason that nobody is surprised is because I'm in uni, where there are lots of different people, so non-geek looking geeks are quite common. Our VtM GM is really attractive :D

I don't look at all like a nerd by my appearance, much less a game dev. I'm pretty fashionable and also about to turn 30, so a lot of younger kids say I remind them of their teachers these days D:

I get comments in the elevator at work from people who work on other floors like "Hey, you're not one of those programmer people who makes games up on 12, are you?" and "Oh, how nice that you're going up to visit your boyfriend at work!"

I tend to like being inconspicuous, it comes in handy sometimes. As for my friends, they're all pretty nerdy and no one has ever not accepted me. In fact, I have plenty of nerdy/gamer friends who wouldn't appear to be so by how they present themselves.

People tend not to assume I'm a geek from my apperence but that may be because I'm a girl and only sometimes wear geeky apparel. Though when people find out I'm a geek, they do tend to accept me quite quickly.

ObsidianJones:

I'm a 6'2 black guy

Kinda on-topic: Do you also feel that nerds/geeks tend to act very weird around black people? My best friend is black and whenever we go to an anime/games convention people look at him like he's some kind alien. It's like they can't possibly fanthom that a black guy could be a nerd and just see him as threatening. Which is kinda funny considering he's 5'5, skinnier than a skeleton and kinda shy.

OT: Yes, i have felt this many many times. I don't really go out of my way to socialize with nerds/geeks specifically, but when i'm at conventions and such i feel that people are suspicious of me. It usually goes away after some talk since i tend to notice and put on my extra-friendly approach but it still concerns me for whatever reason.

I do look like the token white guy in all rap videos, so i guess it kind of makes sense that they would avoid me. But i feel that we as a sub-culture (or whatever) needs to open up and not be so damn excluding. The arrogance and entitlement prevalent in this parts of the nerd sphere needs to go.

Catchpa: two buck chuck. Now all i can imagine is some creepy redneck stalking me with his buckshot ready and loaded. "shivers"

This sounds like a topic straight out of high school. Most people are accepting of others as long as those people aren't assholes; it doesn't matter what they look like. Of course, High School is a world all its own, so normal societal rules pretty much just fly out the window.

EeveeElectro:
I've seen some gorgeous geeks. A few of the people on here are very sexy too and I wouldn't think they were into geeky stuff by looking at them.

Thank you for noticing sir. *Tips hat*

OT: I look more like the typical metaller than I do a nerd; but I could never be mistaken for a model or a jock so I guess this type of thing rarely happens to me.

ChaoticKraus:

ObsidianJones:

I'm a 6'2 black guy

Kinda on-topic: Do you also feel that nerds/geeks tend to act very weird around black people? My best friend is black and whenever we go to an anime/games convention people look at him like he's some kind alien. It's like they can't possibly fanthom that a black guy could be a nerd and just see him as threatening. Which is kinda funny considering he's 5'5, skinnier than a skeleton and kinda shy.

I kind of do. I went to a con last year in New York, and a few of the vendors were trying to talk to me about minorities in comic books. If I asked, that might have had some relevance. I believe a lot of our culture tends to focus on one image of people to relate to, and we have trouble thinking that others have shared in our experiences because we simply don't seem them in our shared experiences.

Jack the Potato:
This sounds like a topic straight out of high school. Most people are accepting of others as long as those people aren't assholes; it doesn't matter what they look like. Of course, High School is a world all its own, so normal societal rules pretty much just fly out the window.

Is High school ever over? I don't know how many jobs you personally worked in (that is no means an attack on you in any form, I just don't know you from Adam), but the only thing that separates office 'politics' and high school politics are mortgages and taxes. People are catty and juvenile everywhere.

I'm no longer sure I even know what counts as a "nerd"! I have friends who are work in science/engineering, but don't have any traditionally "nerdy" hobbies. I have friends who are really into video games, but have never seen Star Wars or The Matrix. And I have friends who role-play, but know very little about science and technology.

I know very few "all-rounder nerds", so I don't really know what one is supposed to look like. When I was at school, the shy, spotty, glasses-wearing kids were all art students!

If you're asking about stereotypical gamers, I'd like to point out that the video games industry is now the most profitable entertainment industry in the UK. It's worth more than film (cinema and DVDs combined)! So we're hardly a minority any more.

the thing is that i really don't look part to my gamer-self, besides that the clothes i wear are video-game based, though it would be hard to tell for those who aint gamers,thus, when revealing my true nature, massive waves of surprise and disbelief follow

I can totally relate. When I was in highschool, my friends were the "nerds," but the nerds who were in advanced classes and were still pretty normal people aside from being academically smart or whatever.

Then there were the "anime kids" as I called them. Bunch of kids who would sit near the stage in the lunch room and sit around eating pocky, reading anime, playing magic, ranting about jocks (super stereotypical stuff here.)

Then when graduation came around, all my buddies left to fancy colleges and I stayed at the local university here. I asked a friend of mine if there were any clubs where i'd meet people like me and he said the video game club would probably be my best bet. So I go and what do you know? All the "anime kids" were there and more from other high schools and I felt so out of place cause while I am a huge geek and gamer and love A LOT of geek culture I just didn't seem to fit in with those kids.

I don't know, it's been 3 years now and i've hung out with them a few times but I just can't really mix with those people and they seem to treat me as a stranger cause while we have similar likes, i'm not like them at all. I did meet a girl though and we've been going now for a year so that's nice (gamer girlfriends ftw!)

Not bashing on anime or anybody who are likes it or even people that are similar to them, I just don't mix is all.

I think I read a First World Problem that went, "I'm too nerdy to hang out with regular people but i'm too regular to hang out with nerdy people." Yup, that's pretty much me.

I work in a job where there are very few 'geeks', so for the most part I don't openly admit my geekiness outside my social life. I don't look like a stereotypical nerd/geek, so it makes it easier.

Although it is always fun at work when I realize someone else is undercover too;
"wait, did you just make a reference to final fantasy"
"umm, yeah"
And then we both come out of hiding for a real conversation.

I don't feel the need to make everyone understand 'the real me', or 'the geeky me'. Because I keep my likes and dislikes to myself until I know people better, it makes it easier to fit into different environments. For example, if you're into heavy music and a goth scene you can dress up and go all out with your friends, but you don't need to be permanently dressed in black, with shocking make-up on, shouting out to the world who you are..most people just don't care...

DugMachine:
I can totally relate. When I was in highschool, my friends were the "nerds," but the nerds who were in advanced classes and were still pretty normal people aside from being academically smart or whatever.

Then there were the "anime kids" as I called them. Bunch of kids who would sit near the stage in the lunch room and sit around eating pocky, reading anime, playing magic, ranting about jocks (super stereotypical stuff here.)

Then when graduation came around, all my buddies left to fancy colleges and I stayed at the local university here. I asked a friend of mine if there were any clubs where i'd meet people like me and he said the video game club would probably be my best bet. So I go and what do you know? All the "anime kids" were there and more from other high schools and I felt so out of place cause while I am a huge geek and gamer and love A LOT of geek culture I just didn't seem to fit in with those kids.

I don't know, it's been 3 years now and i've hung out with them a few times but I just can't really mix with those people and they seem to treat me as a stranger cause while we have similar likes, i'm not like them at all. I did meet a girl though and we've been going now for a year so that's nice (gamer girlfriends ftw!)

Not bashing on anime or anybody who are likes it or even people that are similar to them, I just don't mix is all.

I think I read a First World Problem that went, "I'm too nerdy to hang out with regular people but i'm too regular to hang out with nerdy people." Yup, that's pretty much me.

I actually have come across a lot of people like you in my days as the anime-kid (though I look more like a metal fan...meh...I covered that in the post on top :P) and from our perspective, you seem like you're not really enjoying the stuff we love and whatnot and that feels both dismissive and kinda pretentious. I'm not trying to attack you here or anything lol, just trying to explain how they might have felt about you. They'd probably take your lack of over-the-top enthusiasm at the whatever activity took place as a personal insult and treated you based on that.

I remember this one time we were doing samplers at my University's anime club, I brought a bunch of anime two of which were voted to be shown. One of them was .hack/sign and well...too many casual people didn't get it and started making fun of it like you would something aimed at kids, when the show is actually steeped in philosophy and symbolism. Well, I won't lie, I was pretty mad at them. Thankfully, most of them never showed up again so I didn't really have trouble but I don't really know how I'd have treated them after they behaved like that towards something that's kind of a big deal to me.

Well, earlier this year I saw a guy at the club with a .hack tattoo and it brought back memories of that mess so I talked with him about it and we pretty quickly agreed on their lack of intelligence and on other snobby elitist things which aren't very nice at all. I'm sure these are some of the ways you're perceived if you try to be a casual geek at the headquarters of the hardcore. :D

I'm pretty average looking, as there is enough skinny white guys with glasses in the world to populate a planet, but combined with my love of cards/games/media that makes me a textbook nerd.

And unfortunately in my circumstance a social pariah. People just write me off as weird and don't give me the time of day ever :(

Now, when you say "judge by looks" I'm actually doing just more than that. I'm looking at how you act and present yourself, and how you talk about the subject matter. I've had a lot of people claim "oh yea I'm a gamer too!" or "yea I know what this is!" when they don't know shit about anything that comes out of their mouths, and they also have ZERO interest in what you have to say about the topic. It comes off as condescending.

I don't care what you look like, but I can tell in a couple seconds of meeting someone if they truly care about wanting to befriend like-minded people in a hobby they enjoy, or are trying to show off by 'befriending' people they generally don't give 2 shits about.

Well, if you were a geek, and you looked like a geek, chances are you were bullied in school because of it, and probably by someone who looked like you, op. Not specifically black, of course, but someone who doesn't look like a geek, probably someone fairly athletic. People constantly criticise the tendency to judge a ton of people by a minority, but it's kinda natural. If we touch a cactus, it hurts, and we become afraid to touch something that looks realistically like a cactus, even if we downright know it isn't. Hell, I was bullied by a group of people who were in a band in school, and I became nervous around people who I knew were in bands.

Basically, we geeks are antelope, and you're the antelope that put on a lion costume.

At least, that's my theory. Personally, I'm always a little cautious around someone who could, if they wanted to, kick my ass, but these days I know better than to instantly assume that because someone has the ability to hurt me, they'll do it.

Social impairment is a big part of two of them, so, unless you have it in a noticeable degree, you are not one of the stereotypes. Sounds like you are a normal guy with an interest in unusual things.
If anything, call yourself a geek, meant as an enthusiast in the modern sense.

SOLVEmedia: have an inkling... it be trolling you.

If anything people who consciously try to look stereotypical often are making up for some other lacking quality so they figure if at least they look the part people will take em seriously, even if they don't know how to tell persona 3 apart from Star Ocean. (yes, I've had someone confuse Minato from Fayt from SO3...major facepalms were had)

TrilbyWill:

ObsidianJones:
Captcha: Watch me.

Seriously, people, Captcha is sentient and toying with us! Why do my warnings go unheeded?!

I know! That's what I've been saying for days.
Mine is 'until tomorrow'
...
I'm creeped out.

I don't think you have to worry too much, my last one was dog waffle...

Dreiko:
(yes, I've had someone confuse Minato from Fayt from SO3...major facepalms were had)

Weeaboo =/= nerd/gamer, although there is some overlap of course.

I wouldn't be able to tell you the difference, for example. Unfortunately I find a large chunk of games coming out of Japan a little immature for my tastes so don't play them.

"You can't judge a book by its cover--"
"Yeah, and you can't confuse Rimmer with a book. For starters, a book's got a spine."

Sorry, couldn't resist turning that into a Red Dwarf quote. The point is, I don't really believe there's a general "geek" look right now, especially since you can't exactly judge someone's geekiness just by looking at them. Being a geek doesn't mean that you suddenly abandon all personal hygiene and stop taking care of your physical form!

Dreiko:
I look like a metal fan, probably due to my epic long hair. People never "doubt" me, since I exude anime-fan in some mysterious way and I'm Greek, not as in my parents were from Greece, I actually lived the first 17 years of my life there, so combining my appearance with the identity of "the foreign guy with the dual citizenship" somehow is outlandish enough to allow people to see me in any light possible, including that of the greeky gamer anime fan who speaks Japanese.

Sometimes, I do make it easy on them though:

While other times I get random people on the street asking me to join their bands:

That's odd beside the whole foreign thing I'm pretty much the same as you but I get a completely different reaction, no one ever seems to suspect I'm a massive nerd. Although I guess nobody would expect the 6'4" metal fan to start talking to them about Azumanga Daioh :D

Double post!
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

Oh man, I know exactly what you mean. I'm just under six foot, 14 stone but apparently I look as low as 10 stone because i'm built a bit, not fat. I also have long hair, a big ass moustache and a beard now.

People have problems accepting i'm into anything to do with computers or warhammer or even that I worked in a games workshop for a year. I'm assuming because I talk about getting my tattoos or they see me out drinking or hell, even walking a staffordshire bull terrier crossed with a pitbull (when she grows, she will be a very big, tough guy dog).

They don't see me like I am now, sat at home, surrounded by old models, stacks of games and model dragons. But I digress, if they have an issue with you looking like you do, you clearly don't want to be friends with someone so damn judgemental.

Edit: Funny how this threads made me want to change my profile picture. Damn that's out of date by like a year.

Elementary - Dear Watson:
I don't (usually) appear as anything... but since breaking up with my ex, have started wearing geekier t-shirts... I am an officer in the RAF, so tend to dress the part for that... smart Jeans/chinos and a polo shirt/collared shirt. I also wear rugby shirts often...

Saying that I have a side-parting... and currently a moustache (left over from being in the middle east).

My avatar shows my hair and moustache...! I also smoke a pipe (part of what lead me to grow the tache) and I am well spoken. Is that geeky? Or more just like I was born in the wrong century?

I think you and I might have a lot in common :P

I too feel as though I've been born in the wrong century. I have a hand carved pipe, I collect hats and try to be an utter gentleman. I'm also looking to go into the Royal Marines.

I'm also waiting for my pocket watch to arrive. When it does, I might get it engraved with Gallifreyan symbols...

OT: Well I'm kind of skinny, so I guess that sort of makes me look a little geeky. That said, I am friends with a lot of stereotypical geeks, and I do stick out from them by being (apparently) good looking, experimenting more with alcohol and pot, and pulling at parties, whereas I doubt most of my geekier friends have ever even kissed a girl. Not that I look down on them at all. At times, I admire their ability to not give a shit about relationships. They're certainly some of my best friends.

So while I'm not as extremely visually deviant as the OP, I guess I have a kind of "geek-chic" thing going on?

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