Do you "owe" your parents grandchildren?

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Vault101:
this little dilema ocured to me while (not intentionally) catching some of a reality TV show on TV last night

besically as far as I can tell its about thease mothers who hand pick potential partners for their sons

now this may be a little harsh but what kind of a limp-dick asshole lets his mother choose his partner for him? (ok ok..there is arranged marrage which can actually work somtimes) but THIS just made me angry

now anyway...although it was never outright stated you can just tell thease are the kinds of bitches who demand granchildren..no doubt to fuel their ego with their little "matriarch" fantasys...(again if my feelings about this arnt clear up to this point)

so what was I constantly yelling at the TV last night? "if the dried up old twat wants grand children she should fucking adopt them herself!" <-several times

the reason I feel so strongly about this is because I guess Im all for people choosing what they want, I dont think that the mother has any entitlment to what her children choose to do in their lives...its that kind of controlling matriarchy thing that I find downright disgusting (I know its cultrual somtmes..but IMO family should stay the fuck out when they arnt wanted)

*sigh*..so anyway do you feel any obligation to have grand children if thats what your parents want? perhaps from a "continuning the line" point of veiw?

Well, family is a big deal to many people and oftentimes your parents want to be sure that the line isn't going to die with you so to speak. There is often the issue at times that parents feel like they have given up a huge amount of their lives for you, and want to see you ultimatly doing the same thing as opposed to say doing all the things they chose not to instead (which is a side of things rarely discussed).

To be honest if you ever read up on what books have been banned and why, you'll notice that for quite a while books that are seen as being anti-family were a popular target to be banned. The whole issue of the family unit, and the responsibility/obligation to have and raise children is not something that has only recently been being questioned.

Speaking for myself I believe there is enough of a population problem where I'd prefer people not have children, at least enough to see the population reduce itself somewhat. I think a lot of social problems are caused, or at least heavily contributed to, but there just being too many bloody people.

My parents are quite bad about this...they expect grandchildren, and at least one grandson, from at least one of us, probably more. Apparently it's to continue the family line but I sort of doubt I'll be helping in that process, kids cost a lot of money.

Hell no. My mums got 6 grandchildren at the minute, she can make do with that for the time being.
I would like children, but lack of a stable relationship and money warns me against it. That's my choice though, my mum has never suggested I start planning for kids and I think she'd understand I want to do it in my own time.
My dad used to tell me to keep my last name when I got married to keep the name going. I think me changing my last name was probably the best "Fuck you, cunt" I could have given him.
Parents have no right to run their children's lives. Unless it's warning them against drugs or whatever, that should go without saying.

Vault101:
this little dilema ocured to me while (not intentionally) catching some of a reality TV show on TV last night

besically as far as I can tell its about thease mothers who hand pick potential partners for their sons

now this may be a little harsh but what kind of a limp-dick asshole lets his mother choose his partner for him? (ok ok..there is arranged marrage which can actually work somtimes) but THIS just made me angry

now anyway...although it was never outright stated you can just tell thease are the kinds of bitches who demand granchildren..no doubt to fuel their ego with their little "matriarch" fantasys...(again if my feelings about this arnt clear up to this point)

so what was I constantly yelling at the TV last night? "if the dried up old twat wants grand children she should fucking adopt them herself!" <-several times

the reason I feel so strongly about this is because I guess Im all for people choosing what they want, I dont think that the mother has any entitlment to what her children choose to do in their lives...its that kind of controlling matriarchy thing that I find downright disgusting (I know its cultrual somtmes..but IMO family should stay the fuck out when they arnt wanted)

*sigh*..so anyway do you feel any obligation to have grand children if thats what your parents want? perhaps from a "continuning the line" point of veiw?

I used to, my grandpa mentioned it. But he also said I don't owe him anything. Which I see as noble considering he paid for my 70k college tuition, my 4k notebook computer, my 15k car, and some of my housing.

It sounds more like you watched a "rich" families way of life. There is still lots of arranged marriages especially with the royals. (there are more of them than you think) Its designed to keep the money within the family or grow it with another equal family.

In the end they really can't do anything at least in the United States. But it sounds to me he was either fine with it or he grew up seeing that as normal.

I don't owe my parents shit and I'm never having kids. What if I turn out like my mother? Or worse, what if my kid turns out like me.

No, you owe them for many things, but bringing another person into the world, a person that you will be responsible for for a very long time, isn't one of them. Besides, what kind of person would have a child because their parents wanted a grand child?? It would be cruel and unfair on the child, unless you actually wanted children anyway.

Yeah, I say no, though I can't blame my parents for wanting this of me, even if I'm not interested it must be rather frustrating to have 4 children and that none of them seem like they are going to give you grandchildren, I mean my sister and my little brother are gay, so no luck there and my older brother well, he says he prefers dogs to children and he does seem treat his dogs like children, so they are expecting nothing from him, which leaves me the one that seems to attract women the most, and the only one that has actually had a girlfriend, so it's rather logical that I'd be the one to produce spawns, but the problem is that first off, I don't think I can take care of children, because I'm too unaware and clumsy, I mean sometimes I forget to eat for 3 days, not to mention I'm terrified of sex but they don't know that, and I'd rather not tell them since then I'd have to explain I don't want to tell anybody that, they are going to think I'm stupid and pathetic, so I'd rather they keep nagging than having to explain.
Though it's rather annoying that they started nagging me about that as soon as I turned 18,
I mean I don't think I owe them but I can see how they would want me to, I don't think it's going to happen though.

I absolutely despise children. That being said, I feel kind of bad that I won't be giving my parents grandchildren (snip-snip). It's a bit of a shame where my Dad is concerned since I'm his first and, only son. He has a daughter too so I guess she'll have to be the bearer of his grandchildren if she even chooses to do so. My Mom remarried so she and my Step-Dad have a really good chance of having grandchildren without my assistance. Oh well, screw my Dad.

I don't feel like I owe my mom grandchildren, but I do feel that I have to just to keep this family going. My sister has a boyfriend since a couple of years though, so perhaps she'll get the job done.
I'd never get to meet the damn kid though.

... Wonder if I'm even able to have children to begin with. Got hit pretty damn hard in the nuts by a baseball bat when I was around 10 years old.

Nope... my folks aren't that bothered if I (or my sisters) have kids or not.

'course, they'd love it if they had grandkids to pamper before they offed it, but they're OK either way...

And I'd rather all parents were like that... but I can dream...

I'm probably just going to die alone and a virgin so if my parents want kids they should look at my sister.

I don't owe my parents grandchildren, but it's not like I wouldn't want children.
But I'd rather not expose my children to their grandparents at least on my side's.

Vault101:

Heronblade:

Frankly, it sometimes seems as if society is still trying to turn women into baby factories, and I can't help but wonder why any of them put up with it.

like it or not we still need the baby factories

not that I put up with it mind...somone says otherwise to me I'll tellem where to get off

Considering the world's population won't really be stable unless it shrinks by about 30% instead of continuing to grow, not by nearly as much as we used to. We used to live in a world where old age was almost unheard of to die from, where few children came to term or lived to adulthood. A high pregnancy rate was necessary in order to make up for such deaths. Not anymore.

Of course, this is the wrong audience to be suggesting lower birth rates to, the nations that really need to heed that advice tend to be a bit less likely to be listening in.

Nope I pawned that job off to my sister :)

my family had 4 kids, two of which (my brother and I) are adopted. Of these 4, 1 turned out to be gay (Brother), 1 is divorced (eldest sister) and one turned out to be a tranny (me). That only leaves 1 sister as my eldest sister isn't interested in relationshps anymore.

Fortunately, my other sister is up to the task and has popped out 2 misbehaving little brats with a third on the way.

So I guess...no. YOu don't owe them anything, nobody can use your body as a hostage or demand payment from it in any form

Helscreama:
I don't feel an obligation, I actually WANT to continue the line. Call it subconscious reaction but it's just the way I am.

Same here. My grandparents had five children (three girls, two boys), and my uncle had only two daughters. My dad adopted my mom's son (my half-brother) when they got married, and then had me and my sister. I think I'm the only one who CAN continue the line (at least as far as name AND genes). And I'll be damned if I let this die with me.

I owe parents nonthink in fact they owe me more then i owe them

Vault101:
are thease women who feel the need to meddle in their childrens lives..and the guys who let them..its disgusting and controlling anf just..gaaaahhhh (back to the mamma boy thing)

You have a lot of troubles with your parents don't you? Your reaction is over the top and silly, which makes me think you have some issues of your own to deal with. I mean really, shouting at the TV over something that you personally felt was implied but wasn't even said? Something else is going on in your head.

And that show isn't any more silly than the other "find your love" on "reality" TV shows.

I also bet you will "meddle" a bit in your kids' lives when you have them. Oh I know, people say all the time "I won't be like my parents", and then grow up and find that they suddenly understand why their parents did what they did.

And yes, you do owe your parents grandkids. On your schedule of course, but we were genetically programmed to reproduce and keep reproducing. Spoiling our kids is their reward for our parents raising us.

Should answer your question. Granted, I'd have to find someone first, or buy a cheap one :P

I don't owe anything via reproduction for them. My cousins have some kids so they can mess with them instead.

Some of those reality shows are just retarded. Like the toddlers in tiaras show, or the ballet one, nothing like living vicariously through your kids.

Vault101:
-snip-

The great test for me would be this:

Me: "So mum, dad, you would like grand kids?"

Parents: "Yeah, that would be lovely."

Me: "Well me and *insert partner name* are thinking of adopting a child from Uganda."

Now their reaction would determine whether or not I would take pleasure in honouring their desire (and my own desire for children) with what they wish.

While I don't want to have a kid, I know I might change my mind later. Being in my 20's and attending college, making grandkids for my parents is the LEAST on my mind. Alls I know is that if I do have a kid it better be a girl. Cause growing up as a guy I know how shitty we are.

My sister has 2 very cute kids so I'm off scott free.

I really don't want kids, I like solitude too much.

My mom wants grandchildren but she doesn't want me or my brother to have any since she knows we'd be terrible parents. I'm glad I got out of that one. She's hoping my cousins will have one that's not an accident.

edit

No, but don't tell my dad.

Vault101:

so what was I constantly yelling at the TV last night? "if the dried up old twat wants grand children she should fucking adopt them herself!" <-several times

Aaaah, but you don't get it...

They don't want to ACTUALLY raise kids all over again!

Being a grandparent is a great gig. You get to see the kids once or twice a week and spoil them rotten, and you don't have to deal with all the homework and tantrums and attitude and stuff! The actual parents do the childraising, and you just get to enjoy the kids! :D

But no, I don't feel any need to give my parents grandkids. No matter how much they want them. :P|

Captcha: Time will tell.
0_0 Creepy mind reading captcha is creepy.

I feel absolutely no obligation.

This is helped somewhat by the fact I have three older siblings, all of which have multiple children themselves. (2, 2 and 3 respectively).

In addition to this, I've made it abundantly clear to my mother that it's highly unlikely I will ever have children. I'm much more interested in adopting a puppy.

nope. my brother has kids scattered all over the place, and we were both adopted, so we'd be continuing the name not the 'bloodline'

Mortai Gravesend:
On a somewhat related note, it does slightly bother me that my mom seems to think that I will one day get married to some nice girl and have kids. But she's not pushing me to do anything, so whatever.

This sounds like my Mom (and Dad). They aren't pushing me to do anything, but they do expect me to get married with kids. They always seem to hint at the topic when they can. "DkLnBr! clean your room, you're wife wont like it being messy", "DkLnBr make dinner, your wife will love it if you know how to cook", etc. So just "subtle" hints towards it, but nothing really annoying, so i dont care.
But if they do become like those TV Moms that Vault101 was talking about then i dont know what i'd do... I can't say no to family, im an invertebrate.

You don't owe children to anyone. Its a personal choice, one that you have to deal with yourself. Actually, parents expecting grandchildren is selfish on their part. Children are a massive, life altering and most importantly, irrevocable decision. Having children because someone else wants you to, is cruel and selfish to everyone involved.

DkLnBr:

Mortai Gravesend:
On a somewhat related note, it does slightly bother me that my mom seems to think that I will one day get married to some nice girl and have kids. But she's not pushing me to do anything, so whatever.

This sounds like my Mom (and Dad). They aren't pushing me to do anything, but they do expect me to get married with kids. They always seem to hint at the topic when they can. "DkLnBr! clean your room, you're wife wont like it being messy", "DkLnBr make dinner, your wife will love it if you know how to cook", etc. So just "subtle" hints towards it, but nothing really annoying, so i dont care.
But if they do become like those TV Moms that Vault101 was talking about then i dont know what i'd do... I can't say no to family, im an invertebrate.

My mom's even less than that, but when she says thing she sounds like she just thinks that's how it will be and that I necessarily want that. Which makes me feel awkward. I don't think she pushes or intends to, but she just assumes and it doesn't feel worth it to correct her that I don't really care about that right now and maybe won't later, especially on the kids part.

TV moms like that sound like something else entirely. I doubt a switch just flipped and they became like that. I'd imagine they'd be really pushy snooping parents beforehand as well. So if yours aren't like that no I doubt they would get that bad later.

I'm fed up of parents acting all surprised when their kid takes a different path in life and they find he or she is not bound to their will. I mean, seriously. When you become a parent, does it not cross your mind that maybe, just maybe that child will grow up one day and make their own decisions?

Glad my parents are different.

So no, you don't owe your parents grandchildren. You only owe them respect, and thats not true all the time either.

SmashLovesTitanQuest:
I'm fed up of parents acting all surprised when their kid takes a different path in life and they find he or she is not bound to their will. I mean, seriously. When you become a parent, does it not cross your mind that maybe, just maybe that child will grow up one day and make their own decisions?

Glad my parents are different.

Sadly, I (as well as many others) have the misfortune of having parents who aren't "different", and it sucks.

Or, at least, it doesn't suck yet. Expectations are the worst... My parents/grandparents think I'm a living avatar of awesomeness, being a former HS honor student and captain of the football team. Unfortunately for them, I'm actually an antisocial, selfish, atheist, overachieving jerk likely to fail out of my "prestigious" college and never actually be in a relationship.

Boy, they're in for a rude awakening. Guess it's best to keep up the illusion as long as I can, though.

Heronblade:
Frankly, it sometimes seems as if society is still trying to turn women into baby factories, and I can't help but wonder why any of them put up with it.

Would agree with this. No-one ever mourns when a man doesn't have a child with someone; why are women considered unfulfilled if they don't fart out at least one brat during their life? There are lots of great, childless men throughout history: Leonardo da Vinci, Jesus, Van Gough - wasn't a crying shame that they didn't produce a child, was it?

Fawxy:

SmashLovesTitanQuest:
I'm fed up of parents acting all surprised when their kid takes a different path in life and they find he or she is not bound to their will. I mean, seriously. When you become a parent, does it not cross your mind that maybe, just maybe that child will grow up one day and make their own decisions?

Glad my parents are different.

Sadly, I (as well as many others) have the misfortune of having parents who aren't "different", and it sucks.

Or, at least, it doesn't suck yet. Expectations are the worst... My parents/grandparents think I'm a living avatar of awesomeness, being a former HS honor student and captain of the football team. Unfortunately for them, I'm actually an antisocial, selfish, atheist, overachieving jerk likely to fail out of my "prestigious" college and never actually be in a relationship.

Boy, they're in for a rude awakening. Guess it's best to keep up the illusion as long as I can, though.

You are antisocial, atheist and awkward with the other sex while you were captain of the football team, visit a prestigious college and overachieve?

Mindfuck man. Mindfuck.

EDIT: Im starting to like these new captchas. I was just asked to describe the brand Hilton with any words and "Fuck off with the ads already you annoying cunts" worked. Glorious.

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