Do you "owe" your parents grandchildren?

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Erm... no. All I owe my parents is thanks and love for what they've done for me since I was born (I love my parents a lot)

But in no way would I ever feel pressured to have children for them or anyone but me and my partner (through joint agreement if only we both want one)

I actually have a child and another on the way, it's never crossed my mind that I was owing my parents something or doing it for them. I was doing it for me and my partner because it's what we both wanted.

Anyone who pressures anyone else into have a child is fucking disgusting imo.

Fuck to the no.

Seriously, just no.

Well, with one son who is gay, and another that hasn't even been on a date ever, I think they will have given up by the time I find a girl myself.

Which is good because right now I don't want a kid.

Besides they already have 4 grandchildren from my step-dad's kids that we only see once or twice a year (Thanksgiving and Christmas)

It certainly seems like it, every conversation with my mother eventually boils down to "Where are my grandchildren Chris?" I don't see the appeal quite frankly. Children are screaming poop machines and every single one of them looks like Winston Churchill.

My parents have generally allowed me to do what I like, and in all honesty, I'd like kids. At some point in my thirties.

That said, if my parents started helicoptering and puppeteering me, that would lead to one of the few blue moon rare situations where I would give my own mother a loud and derisive "haha, fuck off!"

Thankfully, my brother has that covered pretty well. He took to married life and fatherhood like a duck to water (he never was happy as a drunken redneck troublemaker... he was mostly just bored back then)... me, though...
I think my mother realizes I'm just too weird (and damaged) to stick with one woman or raise kids. Might have worked back when I was a lonely geek with rather poor self-esteem, but not since I've proverbially been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding. Also, I spent quite a few years as a highly desirable (not literal) man-whore.

I love my parents, and when my mother says one day she'd love to have grandchildren, I feel a little guilty.

That partially stems from the fact she's always had a tight-knit family, and I think she'd make a wonderful grandmother. I'm just definitely not at that stage, nor sure when I would be. She's never, ever pushed me towards it though, she just likes the idea.

You rock mom.

There are a lot of stupid reasons to have kids. This is one of them OP.

No. I dont feel obligated.

You have made a lot of threads lately havent you :D
My parents actaully had a child recently, so now im 22 years old have a 5 years old sister. go figure. On that account, they dont think i owe them any, altrough they do sound quite pushy when talking about girls (no prearanging, more like "you must find one").
So i guess the answer is no, i dont owe them anything. i do not plan to have children, ever. It is possible that my plans will change, i dont deny it, but not in any soon future. There are many many reasons why i would not want to have any children and will work hard agaisnt having them. I cant udnerstand why anyone would want one. i understand when it happens accidentaly, but why would you want one?

When i finished writting this message my mom came in and said "start loosing weight i want healthy grandchildren". i just started laughing uncontrollably till she left.

Vault101:
do you feel any obligation to have grand children if thats what your parents want? perhaps from a "continuning the line" point of veiw?

Ha-nope. I would like kids though, but because I want to not because it's what my parent's want. If my twue wuv puts me in a gay relationship, adoption is always a thing. And if I never meet someone suitable, then ciest la vie.

This was obviously going to be a thread where everyone agrees...

I'll play devils advocate. Yes, yes you do.

My mom's weird about this subject. On one hand, she acts like if I come home and tell her I got a girl pregnant or if my sister calls and says she's pregnant she'll cut off my/my sister's boyfriend's you-know-what. But on the other hand, every time she sees a cute baby she's always like, "Aw, I want another one," or talks about how my kids would most likely have brown hair or how adorable mine or Cassie's kids would be.

Yeah...if that's not mom code for "I want grandbabies" I don't know what is.

Not me, nah.

I've pretty much told my parents that I have no intention of having children. I may adopt or foster later in my life, but I point-blank refuse to breed. They've two grandchildren from my younger sister (and eventually more from my younger brother) so they've no shortage of shorties to spoil.

I think I've staved off a lot of the pressure to have children (at least on my parents end). I told them, honestly, that while I won't pass on their blood, I will pass on their ideals and teachings. I find those to be more valuable anyway.

Owe? Fuck no! I might have kids some day on my own terms, but accidents do happen.. Having children just so my mother could call herself gandma and could pinch my kids cheeks twice a month doesn't seem like a good enough reason to make such a commitment.

Absolutely not.
Having children for the sake of continuing genetic lineage is what creates overpopulation.

Sexual Harassment Panda:
This was obviously going to be a thread where everyone agrees...

I'll play devils advocate. Yes, yes you do.

Why?
Can you explain your contrariate argument?

Montezuma's Lawyer:

Sexual Harassment Panda:
This was obviously going to be a thread where everyone agrees...

I'll play devils advocate. Yes, yes you do.

Why?
Can you explain your contrariate argument?

Well, I may just be a small-town panda, unfamiliar with your big city lawyer games. But...it seems to me that adulthood without offspring is pretty meaningless. I'm sympathetic with anyone who doesn't want to "grow up", but parents encouraging their children to have children may simply be emparting wisdom, recognising that in their own experience...reproducing was the best thing that they did with their lives. It's something worth considering, not being angsty about.

Maybe "owing" is too strong a way of phrasing it, but I feel that a feeling of duty towards a family that has served you well is completely appropriate. Individual liberties are just swell, but sharing your life and the decisions within it seems like the optimal way to live to me.

Sexual Harassment Panda:

Montezuma's Lawyer:

Sexual Harassment Panda:
This was obviously going to be a thread where everyone agrees...

I'll play devils advocate. Yes, yes you do.

Why?
Can you explain your contrariate argument?

Well, I may just be a small-town panda, unfamiliar with your big city lawyer games. But...it seems to me that adulthood without offspring is pretty meaningless. I'm sympathetic with anyone who doesn't want to "grow up", but parents encouraging their children to have children may simply be emparting wisdom, recognising that in their own experience...reproducing was the best thing that they did with their lives. It's something worth considering, not being angsty about.

Maybe "owing" is too strong a way of phrasing it, but I feel that a feeling of duty towards a family that has served you well is completely appropriate. Individual liberties are just swell, but sharing your life and the decisions within it seems like the optimal way to live to me.

Maybe YOU get meaning in your life from having a walking talking little shit of a kid, but I do not.

I gain meaning in my own life without the need to spawn. This has nothing to do with "growing up", and if someone is proud of having children, great! let them be proud, but dont let them pressure others into feeling obligated to spawn little narcissistic fuckers who refuse to get a job.

And you may want to consider that some people have had AWFUL relationships with their families.

I value my individual liberty, thanks.

Montezuma's Lawyer:

Sexual Harassment Panda:

Montezuma's Lawyer:

Why?
Can you explain your contrariate argument?

Well, I may just be a small-town panda, unfamiliar with your big city lawyer games. But...it seems to me that adulthood without offspring is pretty meaningless. I'm sympathetic with anyone who doesn't want to "grow up", but parents encouraging their children to have children may simply be emparting wisdom, recognising that in their own experience...reproducing was the best thing that they did with their lives. It's something worth considering, not being angsty about.

Maybe "owing" is too strong a way of phrasing it, but I feel that a feeling of duty towards a family that has served you well is completely appropriate. Individual liberties are just swell, but sharing your life and the decisions within it seems like the optimal way to live to me.

Maybe YOU get meaning in your life from having a walking talking little shit of a kid, but I do not.

I gain meaning in my own life without the need to spawn. This has nothing to do with "growing up", and if someone is proud of having children, great! let them be proud, but dont let them pressure others into feeling obligated to spawn little narcissistic fuckers who refuse to get a job.

And you may want to consider that some people have had AWFUL relationships with their families.

I value my individual liberty, thanks.

Ha! That was a pretty scornful read, considering how innocuous what I said was...and the fact that I was clearly advocating the devil. I don't see how I can leave it unanswered.

I don't have a child, nor do I have or need any meaning in my life. I put "growing up" inside the bunny ears because it's not a concept I entirely agree with myself... Who said anything about being proud? And what's so bad about pressure? Unless you're completely soft, comments and suggestions are easily cast aside. Let 'em talk...just be strong instead of angsty when things get said that you don't like.

I'm aware that not everybody has a good relationship with their family, but I only said that you should feel duty towards a family that has been good to you...

If you're desperate to tell someone off(as is often the case on this forum), you should attack what they say...not what you think they mean.

Sexual Harassment Panda:

Montezuma's Lawyer:

Sexual Harassment Panda:

Well, I may just be a small-town panda, unfamiliar with your big city lawyer games. But...it seems to me that adulthood without offspring is pretty meaningless. I'm sympathetic with anyone who doesn't want to "grow up", but parents encouraging their children to have children may simply be emparting wisdom, recognising that in their own experience...reproducing was the best thing that they did with their lives. It's something worth considering, not being angsty about.

Maybe "owing" is too strong a way of phrasing it, but I feel that a feeling of duty towards a family that has served you well is completely appropriate. Individual liberties are just swell, but sharing your life and the decisions within it seems like the optimal way to live to me.

Maybe YOU get meaning in your life from having a walking talking little shit of a kid, but I do not.

I gain meaning in my own life without the need to spawn. This has nothing to do with "growing up", and if someone is proud of having children, great! let them be proud, but dont let them pressure others into feeling obligated to spawn little narcissistic fuckers who refuse to get a job.

And you may want to consider that some people have had AWFUL relationships with their families.

I value my individual liberty, thanks.

Ha! That was a pretty scornful read, considering how innocuous what I said was...and the fact that I was clearly advocating the devil. I don't see how I can leave it unanswered.

I don't have a child, nor do I have or need any meaning in my life. I put "growing up" inside the bunny ears because it's not a concept I entirely agree with myself... Who said anything about being proud? And what's so bad about pressure? Unless you're completely soft, comments and suggestions are easily cast aside. Let 'em talk...just be strong instead of angsty when things get said that you don't like.

I'm aware that not everybody has a good relationship with their family, but I only said that you should feel duty towards a family that has been good to you...

If you're desperate to tell someone off(as is often the case on this forum), you should attack what they say...not what you think they mean.

I tend to infuse my arguments with bile, it is a rather bad habit of mine.

I feel the same way, in the sense that parents really shouldn't be influencing what their adult offspring is going to do with their partner. This is why I do not plan on having kids, I'll do it how my parents "planned" me(Broken Condom) and my brother(Broken Condom II: Electric Boogaloo)

On a side-note, I'm really starting to hate the Chevy Sonic.

Being nearly 22 and in the same relationship for six years, my mum has started dropping hints that she's getting a little impatient. I'm an only child as well, so I have literally nothing to distract her from the fact that out of all the girls my age in my family, I'm the only one to not have children yet. It's recently been made more of a conversation topic when her brother got his first grandchild.

She's not pushy, per se, but I know she's thinking about it. She'll make little comments like; "I'd love it if you had a little girl." or "Don't wait too long to make me a gran, will you? I don't want to be an old, old gran." I think that last one is stemming from the fact she recently hit fifty years of age. Even my own grandmother is getting in on it, and she's actually more pushy than mum, saying that I can use all the protection in the world, but if it wants to happen, it'll happen, and that she wants to see her great grandchild before she dies, and then reminds me that she's 72.

No pressure then...

On topic though, I certainly don't feel obligated to provide a grandchild, but at the same time I know mum will be disappointed if I don't because she has no other child to get them from, and I'll be honest, the fact that I'm the last one left to start a family gets me down sometimes for reasons that would need a thread on their own to go through, and I won't see anyone here suffer that.

Sara Fontaine:
Being nearly 22 and in the same relationship for six years, my mum has started dropping hints that she's getting a little impatient. I'm an only child as well, so I have literally nothing to distract her from the fact that out of all the girls my age in my family, I'm the only one to not have children yet.

My Mom's the opposite. She had me in her early 20s and wants me to wait as long as possible, do everything I want to do first, etc...

I also think that if she became a Grandmother in the not too distant future it would make her feel really old.

Colour-Scientist:

Sara Fontaine:
Being nearly 22 and in the same relationship for six years, my mum has started dropping hints that she's getting a little impatient. I'm an only child as well, so I have literally nothing to distract her from the fact that out of all the girls my age in my family, I'm the only one to not have children yet.

My Mom's the opposite. She had me in her early 20s and wants me to wait as long as possible, do everything I want to do first, etc...

I also think that if she became a Grandmother in the not too distant future it would make her feel really old.

My mum had me when she was 28, and she says she feels she waited too long; again, because I'm only just about to turn 22 and she's already 50. Not that I was planned anyway; I'm what she likes to call 'A Happy Accident'. Very clever wording, mother >_>

No, they should have thought about that when they created something with free will, that it will not always do what they want. However, having children is pretty much the purpose of everyone, and if you choose to ignore that, then you have not been of benefit to the species. Nowadays we have a modern workaround, whereby we can contribute by research or invention or what not, but as an individual, the only reason we're alive is because we are expected to reproduce.

Why do you owe your parents anything? I can understand being grateful for giving you life and raising you... but still it's not like you asked them to. Depending on your experiences you may have never wanted them to. You shouldn't owe them anything, when the only reason they birthed you was for their own satisfaction or from some accident. Seems silly... I should be clear. I still think we should show our parents respect and all but I don't see how we have to OWE them anything.

Even if I did want kids, it sure as hell wouldn't be because my parents want me to. But them having grandkids is unlikely. They're old as hell already and they have only two sons: I'm only 20, massively irresponsible, as gay as a San Francisco parade and have a particular loathing for small children for prolonged periods of time. And my brother is completely asexual.

So they're not getting any, not even accidentally.

My two older siblings have got me covered for that. I'm not really stressing about it. Hell, I've never had a girlfriend. Don't see many advantages over the disadvantages for myself.

Vault101:
*sigh*..so anyway do you feel any obligation to have grand children if thats what your parents want? perhaps from a "continuning the line" point of veiw?

It has been not been stated but I am the last of my father's line. I have two uncles remaining who have not yet had children, one died. My mother's maiden name dies with my uncle on that side I think as his two daughters will likely not keep their maiden names. It's on me to continue the line, yes, but I am under no pressure to do so.

I want to have children though so the point it moot unless I die... O.o

Vault101:

so what was I constantly yelling at the TV last night? "if the dried up old twat wants grand children she should fucking adopt them herself!" <-several times
[/b]

Can you adopt grandchildren for yourself?

If you're the last surviving member of your bloodline and you haven't contracted some horrible blood born disease then I suppose biologically you owe it to all your ancestors who did all that work surviving and reproducing and helping their offspring to survive to keep the blood line going. As organisms passing on our genetic material is really the only purpose we have. But rationally no you don't need to bring another person into the world just to suit your parents. As you say there are plenty of kids out there who need adopting

My parents, particularly my father, have warmed to the idea of being grandparents one day (and intends on spoiling them rotten), but my parents have never pressured me into it, nor do I feel I owe it to them in doing so, especially since I intend on being a dad myself one day in the future, preferably before I am 30. It's just all part of my evil, I mean, life plan (yes...life plan).

I would list every word for no I know, but I'm lazy and tired. There's absolutely no reason you would owe them something like that. You owe your parents a varying measure of gratitude, but that's all. My father and I have discussed this and agreed our account is settled for raising me.

My mother used to ask my brother and I when she was getting grandchildren. My brother would give vague non-answers and I would just repeat:"Ask [brothers name]. He's always been much more popular with women and less careful in everything." She's since given up asking. To be fair, she didn't even have my older brother until she was 40, so it's not like she has any right to demand her mid-twenties sons have kids.

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