The internet and relationships

One thing I always held a curiosity for is, do you feel that it is possible to have a relationship with someone whether it be a romantic one, or just a real friendship with someone that you met online?

I've met a lot of people online that I feel very comfortable talking to and I would consider them my actual friends, if we ever meet in real life I feel we'd hit it off just as we do online and we'd be very close.
Then there is the romantic aspect, I may think you can develop a friendship, however I don't believe that it is likely, I won't say impossible. To become more than friends via the internet. I just don't think you can connect at that level with the interactions available for people online.

Now Escapists, I leave it to you what are your thoughts on this matter?

I met the woman who is now my wife online, while running a RPing website together, and 10 years later I'm living on the other side of the world with a good job, a home, a marriage, a step son and thinking about having a family of our own.

So yeah, it's possible.

However, when people come to me seeking advice about it.. since I'm often the only person they know who's been through it.. I always urge caution. I'm well aware my relationship is the one in a million that worked. I know dozens of people from my time online who tried and failed.

I love my online friends ... they are the only real friends i have.. unfortunately i can never make friends irl with the local populous so online was the next best option and luckily for me ive made a buttload of european friends over the years because without them id probably be 6 foot under by now

I met a guy online. I'm married to him. I definitely think you can have a real relationship with people you meet online. I do not, however, think you can take a relationship beyond a certain level if you don't also take it into meatspace. By this, I'm not talking about sex, but rather intimacy and personal connection. Sooner or later you actually have to meet, or the friendship / relationship will remain stilted.

I'm currently engaged to a boy I met over the internet. :P I live in the US and he lives in the UK. We've been together for over 3 years now and I'm going over in June to visit him again! So yes, I do believe it is possible to have a relationship with someone over the internet. :P Whether it be romantic or not. :)

Met one of my best friends on this site, actually, and I trust her with things I'd never breathe a word of to friends here. It was nice to meet her last summer, and it got me out of the country. Customs was a pain in the ass, though, so I'm not sure when I'll fly again.

I wouldn't say it's unlikely at all, especially in this modern age. People are more likely to be honest (once they strike up a friendship/comradeship[1])

A big plus on internet communication (IMO), (with IRL friends and online friends) is the lack of awkward pauses that you might find in a blooming relationship or friendship.

[1] Oh, my. That's actually a word! Woohoo!

Gizmo:
One thing I always held a curiosity for is, do you feel that it is possible to have a relationship with someone whether it be a romantic one, or just a real friendship with someone that you met online?

Sure you can be friends with someone. At least one friend online I'd consider a real friend. Did get to meet IRL once too. A few others are... hmm... kind of like that. But... idk, just don't have as much in common with them. Anyway, I interact with all my friends mostly online anyway, so what's the big difference?

Romantic relationship? Hmm. Well some people do it so it must be possible. I'd give it a shot if the opportunity arose. Seems harder though. As it is I kind of dislike that I can't try to read people's expressions etc online, would bother me more in a romantic relationship where I would feel it even more necessary to tell how someone is feeling.

And in some ways it feels easier to try to be friends with someone online. I feel like I can speak more freely. Though sometimes I think I'm just as bad at making friends online as I am IRL.

hmmm..had a couple of peopel I talk with online one-on-one

is it the same as a"real" freind? well it depends, its certainly nice to have somone to talk to, even say things you might not to others, however you still cant quite gfo and "hang out"...well unless you play an online game

who needs real life anyway? :P

Vault101:
hmmm..had a couple of peopel I talk with online one-on-one

is it the same as a"real" freind? well it depends, its certainly nice to have somone to talk to, even say things you might not to others, however you still cant quite gfo and "hang out"...well unless you play an online game

who needs real life anyway? :P

That's more or less what I'd end up calling a friend. Someone you talk to one on one like that, joke around with, whatever. Hanging out's fun, but it'd be because I like them enough without it anyway.

I have one person that I talk to online every so often and that's about it. As for relationships, nope.

I'm kinda odd when it comes to relationships and friendships in general especially with friendships since I just stumble into them and I don't know how they happen.

Romantic Internet relationship currently been going for over 5 months. She's one lovely lady.

Here's hoping it continues for a long time. Wish me luck.

I met my husband online. We talked online for hours and played games together. It didn't stay online for long when we found out that we only lived 40-45 minutes away from each other. We hung out (meeting in public places first), played more video games, that lead to fooling around a bit(WINK). Then we went out together seriously, eventually moved in together, and married a few years later; our second wedding anniversary is in July. We've been together for nearly six years altogether.

Since the both of us game online, and usually in the same games, we find that we share a lot of internet friends; and we've met a couple in real life. We consider them and our other online friends, good friends. There are two or three that we haven't met yet, but that was only because no one has been able to make any kind of plans for a trip yet; them or us.

I always urge caution when it comes to meeting people online whether for relationships or just friendships. Never meet them at your private residence first. Make sure to make your first meetings in public and try not to leave yourself in a vulnerable situation until you are absolutely sure of trust. They may see it as a sign of distrust, but if they were smart; they'd do the same with you. Also make sure to thoroughly talk to this person, and even go over old topics. They could have been putting up a front online, and could be a completely different person altogether. Call me absolutely paranoid, but it's just good to know what you could possibly be getting into.

I met my boyfriend over an online game. One day on a whim he joined my guild, and we were friends for years. We gradually became closer and had lots of good times online when I decided I really, seriously liked him. I was still in high school and so was he, but during his spring break he flew out to Vancouver from the opposite side of the country so we could meet. I was REALLY sick during our first real life meeting, so much that we couldn't really do very much together, but we still liked each other after the meeting and he was not some creepy internet pedophile looking for teenagers. We had a couple other meetings, and he moved out here when he turned 19. Including the time we met online, we've been together for 6 1/2 years now and are hoping to get married when I'm finished with my Commercial Animation diploma in another year and a half.

Other than that, I've met some of my best friends online too. The best means of meeting up was to find a place halfway in a public place. Later on we did things like stay-overs for extended periods of time. Overall I think that, as long as you use the first visit to validate someone as being roughly like the person you "know" online, you can work from there. Never dive into simply showing up at another person's house, though.

My current roommate started as a friend of a friend I met online, on the other side of the country, one of my best friends to be precise, so we have perfect houshold harmony, he doesn't bug me or get in the way when I have women over, and well it goes without saying that when he ever gets around to coaxing a woman into coming over to see him, then well yeah I'll stay outa the way.

I think it's definitely possible to have a romantic relationship on the internet but I also think that it can only go so far until you would have to meet IRL. I think it would be much harder to do than a normal relationship especially if you are located a ways away from each other. I would certainly give it a try if the opportunity arose but sadly I don't see one happening but these things can sneak up on you so who knows :P

I had an online girlfriend for a year, which started with us a roleplay partners. It was nice and all, and I really liked her, but in order for us to work, I would have had to change my major and move to Canada, and honestly I wasn't willing to do that.

In the scheme of things, though, I don't think it's impossible for them to work. Some people are into that, and can do online relationships pretty easily, and with Skype and whatnot these days, it's becoming easier. But I'm not that kind of person. I'm terrible at communicating my thoughts, and so only having words makes it so much harder for someone like me. xD

But more power to the people who can do it.

Sadly, I don't really talk to people, so I'm not a whole lot of help. Back when I played RuneScape, I met some cool people, but I never really got to know more than one or two of them, and since I quit, we never talk anymore. I'm just not personable enough to meet people, online or otherwise! =D I'll just stick to my three friends and girlfriend, and hope that's enough.

im in a relationship with my Boyfriend and i love him with all my heart. i trust him with everything i cant wait to Meet him in real life. besides thru a web cam

I've met several people while playing World of Warcraft that I would consider good friends.
(I wont bother with real names)

1) The retired US marine
2) The Kiwi (He's from New Zealand whom I love because he got me the "Europe exclusive" Sonic Generations Collectors edition)

It's not like we've never actually psychically met before either. We make plans to get together. First time was Blizzcon 2010. It was the kiwi's first trip to America. We're all fairly close and keep in touch via chats such as steam and WoW/SWTOR. We even help each other out when one of us needs it.

I will admit that I've had a romantic relationship online for over a year which recently ended for stupid reasons (wont get into it) and it all worked out for the most part. We took turns seeing each other. I went to her for a week, then she came to me for a week.

Like many other people have said, be cautious. I'm incredibly cautious of people in general. I wouldn't get into a relationship with someone I met online unless I felt...safe(?) about it.

If it wasn't for the Internet, I'd have no real human contact beyond my mother, and the customers and fellow employees at my job. Here online, it's very easy to find other people who share the same interests, as web sites and online chats and such like to group said people together. Offline, it's hard to know whether talking about, say, the latest videogame gossip with someone will result in genuine interest, or a genuine desire to change the subject.

Online contact does wonders to break the mental, social, or physical barriers that otherwise would inhibit interaction offline. Online, I can be much more well-spoken and articulate through typing text than I ever could be vocally, because I can not only go back and edit what I'm saying, I can also overcome my personal limitations where I stumble over simple words and phrases because my brain is moving faster than my mouth ever could.

I'd say a genuine relation/friendship is possible online. Just look at the responses posted here. I have a close friend here myself whom I talk to on a near daily basis.

Romance is a little iffy. One of the people I'd consider friends admitted that she has a crush on me, only catch is she's married.

I think romance is a bit of a trap though. When you have the distance of the internet everything seems like a safe bet, easier to talk about problems and people around you because there's a degree of anonymity for them. No guarantee it'll work out in the real world.

Friendships can work no problem. Made a friend in an MMO over 3 years ago that lived 2,000 miles away, still chat on facebook, I stopped buy while traveling in his area a few months ago, drinks, chatting, catching up on old times. Fun and totally worth it.

Gizmo:
One thing I always held a curiosity for is, do you feel that it is possible to have a relationship with someone whether it be a romantic one, or just a real friendship with someone that you met online?

I've met a lot of people online that I feel very comfortable talking to and I would consider them my actual friends, if we ever meet in real life I feel we'd hit it off just as we do online and we'd be very close.
Then there is the romantic aspect, I may think you can develop a friendship, however I don't believe that it is likely, I won't say impossible. To become more than friends via the internet. I just don't think you can connect at that level with the interactions available for people online.

Now Escapists, I leave it to you what are your thoughts on this matter?

My boyfriend used to be my guild master on WoW. =D

We've been together for nearly three years now (our anniversary is Diablo 3's release date, aint that a bitch), and I'd say we weren't hindered at all by meeting online. We talked on voice and webcam chat until he could come visit me, then thats when we officially started going out. Then we took turns visiting each other, but everyone said cause we were 500 miles away it wouldn't work. So I up and moved.

Everyone I tell how me and him met seem to think it was more dangerous than it was. I think if you are smart about it it's extremely less dangerous (I had spoken to his family before, met in him in a neutral place all that jazz). But I do think you can get to know someone well on the internet. Just depends if they are being as open with you as you are with them.

There's a chance it would work, but I think it's not very high.

Naaaah man. They're humans. That's already a bad start.

Relationships might be a bit hard, unless you live fairly close to each other, but I've had plenty of great friendships that started on the internet. Known a Dane since around six years, and we still play games togeather and chat whenever we're both online. Also recently got to know a close internet friend since seven years irl. Thought it would be really awkward meeting him for the first time, but it felt like getting togeather with an old friend.

I've met so many amazing people on-line, a lot on this site too who I've met in RL.

I don't really have RL I can see all the time, I don't know what happened, they just never worked out.

I've never done the whole on-line relationship thing (I have a partner, anyway) but if it works for other people, which some PP's have shown, then good on them.

Pretty much all of my friends are online. I feel really comfortable talking with many of them, more so than I would with anyone locally. It's entirely possible to become good friends with people online, I don't know about the romantic aspect though, I suppose it's possible but I don't really have any idea.

I wish I could make friends online like all you guys considering I can't do it irl.

so I guess I'm just a bad human being.......

:C

As with everything, it's hit and miss. I've been in a few of the situations described here, from friendship to a relationship. In a way, it's amazing that you can meet people with similar interests to yourself so easily, as this forum has shown - gamers from all over the world talk and share their passion for this hobby.

I've met a few friends who I'd call brothers through the internet, mostly Xbox Live. One, I've known for just over 9 years. I'd more than happily give my right-arm for him. I also have a few other who I've known for around 4/5 years. A few I've met with and we instantly gelled. When you've talked that long with someone it really doesn't make a difference when you meet them in real life, perhaps maybe if they look a little different. ( The first meeting consisted of us all jokingly poking fun at how we looked different than we imagined. )

In an age where the internet is accessible pretty much anytime we want, it's not strange to have people close to you, especially when they frequent the same forums and/or games as you do. Spending a considerable amount of time with any person, whether in real-life or online will form a bond.

As for relationships...I've had first and second hand experiences. A friend has been in one and it went terribly. Things happened too fast, they never met and within a few weeks it had died. The main reasoning is the inability to talk to one another. If one person gets pissed - they can and WILL ignore you/block you. There's nothing you can do about it. Unlike being there in person you can't persist with trying to make things work.

On the other hand, there is my experience. Which, whilst only last six months was rather interesting. I traveled, twice, in excess of a hundred miles to see her for a week. It was good, just as every other relationship is. There may be times where you feel down because you can't see each other all the time, but you deal with. In the end, it didn't work out. She ended it for reasons understandable, the distance was too far and she couldn't stand not being able to see me often.

Whilst mine might seem tame compared to some of the horror stories out there, it really comes down to luck. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't and sometimes it goes completely tits up. ( Not in the good way...)

It is possible. I met my lovely boyfriend over the Escapist and we've been together fr a good while now. I added him on the escapist after having a conversation with him on a forum, but we ever talked on here.

I then needed help in Halo Reach and contacted him, and he was happy enough to help. We talked more and we knew each other for a good two years before we started dating. He's in the Uk, me USA, and we talk using webcam and Xbox chat. I love him very much and couldn't be happier with anyone else.

So yep, it does happen :3

I think both are possible, but romantic ones are much more difficult. But I have 2 or 3 people that I consider good friends that I met online. In fact my best friend at the moment is a guy I met online during the summer, then it turned out we'd enrolled in the same university, so we met up.

 

Reply to Thread

This thread is locked