What will you google to freak out the people placing you under surveillance?

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Well, as some of you may know, here in the U.K., we are subject to mandatory internet surveillance:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-17576745
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-17270817

Well, while the government have trampled over our rights and protests in order to shoe-horn this in, that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun out of this. Why not think of a few things that would get the people monitoring your internet usage to beg for these bills to be overturned? I can think of a few....

"Can you have babies with a dog?" and "How to be a father"
"How do I get rid of the ants near my petrol tank" and "Where to buy a flamethrower"
"How do I get my kid to shut up" and "Advice for deep-throating"
"How to re-attach broken limbs" and and order for a sledgehammer.
Posting "I can't deal with my anger any more" on a forum and looking up the adress of the nearest primary school.

Well, I'm sure you can think up a load that are much better than mine. Go nuts! And remember, it's fine for this to be watched by the government because you have nothing to hide, good citizens!

My friend made me giggle.

Said he's going to subscribe to a load of Dwarf porn sites and said "i'd love to see the buggers face who has to go through all that".

I saw that on the BBC. I hoped it was a poorly judged april fools. :(
*shakes fist at David Cameron*

same thing i google that put me under surveilance. i cant really tell you, the rules on this site wont let me.

Fatal allergens of Tory MPs? Floor plans for the houses of parliament? How much C4 would it take to blow the place sky-high?

Never mind that though, I bet the house of Lords has more to hide than the general public.

Captcha: Pie are round. This Captcha are sick.

GCHQ rule 34, perhaps.

Strazdas:
same thing i google that put me under surveilance. i cant really tell you, the rules on this site wont let me.

This basically . I already google some strange stuff. I am curious by nature ... Especially when it comes to porn. Let's just say , i have a fat women fetish , and i have a thing for cougars . And one day i wanted to see what the age limit of a cougar... There isn't .

krazykidd:

This basically . I already google some strange stuff. I am curious by nature ... Especially when it comes to porn. Let's just say , i have a fat women fetish , and i have a thing for cougars . And one day i wanted to see what the age limit of a cougar... There isn't .

Something of a "me gusta" moment?

thaluikhain:
GCHQ rule 34, perhaps.

Wait, how does that work? Do I even want to know?

CAPTCHA: sharp stick

Not bad.

What to do if you have a rodent stuck in your arse

Cat suppliers, london

Dog suppliers, London

Captcha=Butter side down, Apt.

Google's auto-fill in does the job for me :lol:

Yeah for being Canadian, we only have Bill C-11!
Ugh...

I'm probably just going to sign up for a VPN service, maybe have a look at hiding my online presence a bit better than I currently have. So I guess I could be googling that, except I don't use google..

image

Whitbane:
Yeah for being Canadian, we only have Bill C-11!
Ugh...

You mean C-30.

C-11 is the copyright SOPA style bill. C-30 is the privacy one.

And honestly, if that bill looks like it's gonna go through, I am gonna look into proxies and VPNs and stuff. I'd rather the government NOT peep into my hard drive, thankyouverymuch. I am not doing anything dangerous or illegal, so please don't look into my life, some of this shit could be embarrassing if leaked.

The worst bit is how the conservtards keep going "only criminals demand secrets and privacy!", and yet when we have VERY probably cause to think that they cheated in the last election, they refuse to release their records. I thought they said only CRIMINALS hid stuff, so....Hmm...I wonder who are the actual criminals now... >: (

Man, if they start watching me, im fucked.

Whenever I take a screenshot I share with other people I open a bunch of tabs to fuck with them. So once I had a few google tabs open - "where to adopt puppies", "zoophilia and the law", "a guide to bestiality", "best dog food" - you get the idea.

So I dunno man. If anyone is going through that stuff, they must think I am sick.

'Why is there really a dead Pakistani on my couch?
'How to donate to the BNP'
'What is George Osborn's first pets name and favorite teacher?'
'What do do if you leave a disk full of unencrypted government data on a train'

[Insert escort agency website here] + [insert dodgy hotel booking page here] + [insert DIY website and purchase a clawhammer and a hacksaw here] = surveillance ftw

Hmm... Excuse me for being unoriginal, but I can only think of porn, and I'm sure they'd see enough of that anyway.

You guys are giving the watchmen too much credit. No way are they gonna be clever enough to follow most of these.

MammothBlade:

image

An internet, my good sir, it is yours.

But you forgot ''family fun''.

aegix drakan:

Whitbane:
Yeah for being Canadian, we only have Bill C-11!
Ugh...

You mean C-30.

C-11 is the copyright SOPA style bill. C-30 is the privacy one.

And honestly, if that bill looks like it's gonna go through, I am gonna look into proxies and VPNs and stuff. I'd rather the government NOT peep into my hard drive, thankyouverymuch. I am not doing anything dangerous or illegal, so please don't look into my life, some of this shit could be embarrassing if leaked.

The worst bit is how the conservtards keep going "only criminals demand secrets and privacy!", and yet when we have VERY probably cause to think that they cheated in the last election, they refuse to release their records. I thought they said only CRIMINALS hid stuff, so....Hmm...I wonder who are the actual criminals now... >: (

They're just excuses to slow chip away at our freedoms. As cynical and paranoid that sounds, it's at least partially true. It's just spying for the sake of keeping watch over the people that will actually try to change things. Everyone will eventually Google some weird shit in their life, or find some appealing, if odd porn, and watch it come back to bite them in the ass later on in their life.

Just imagine running for a certain political position and then someone releasing your porn searches to the public.

Man, I'm way too paranoid.

what is the softest type of melon
brands of lotion
google images: cute young boy
grocery shops near [insert zip code here]

ok.. i sort of creeped myself out there.

"how to summon a dark lord of hell"
"proper pentagrams"
"crystal balls"
"where do babies bleed the most?"
"occult items"
"how to control a dark lord"
"titanium-steel alloy cage for good price"

alright boys and girls lets all go to hamstersex.com
Yea that oughta do the trick :P

This site is actually banned in my country, its a bit of a running joke. before it got banned it was a harmless joke site, no idea what its like now though.

where to buy a pistol and silencer as well as volunteering at local hospital for the elderly.
I must say this is one of the most disturbing things i've ever written.

"I Know You're Watching, James."
"Hello Lewis."
"Having Fun Daniel?"
"I Know Where You Live Ryan. Your Wife Ellie Seems Nice."

As a note, those are four of the most common male names in Scotland.
I think I'll at least get one right.

Strazdas:
same thing i google that put me under surveilance. i cant really tell you, the rules on this site wont let me.

Does it involve your avatar?
....it involves your avatar, doesn't it.

Giraffe on miget porn.
Poor bastard who has to look through it all will be upset... >:)
But is this serious? Manditory obversation? I'm weary because April 1st was recent...

Whitbane:

Just imagine running for a certain political position and then someone releasing your porn searches to the public.

I knew my subscription to horseassault.com would come back to bite me.

ClockworkPenguin:
I saw that on the BBC. I hoped it was a poorly judged april fools. :(
*shakes fist at David Cameron*

OT: Probably "House of Commons floor/ventilation plans" followed by "chlorine gas recipe"

Zen Toombs:

Strazdas:
same thing i google that put me under surveilance. i cant really tell you, the rules on this site wont let me.

Does it involve your avatar?
....it involves your avatar, doesn't it.

Nah im not zoophile.... yet. altrough you could say i sleep with a llama....blanket
P.S. its worse.

Zachary Amaranth:

Whitbane:

Just imagine running for a certain political position and then someone releasing your porn searches to the public.

I knew my subscription to horseassault.com would come back to bite me.

I'm sure voraphiles would agree with you, but for most of them, it already has come back to bite them at some point.

Binnsyboy:

[spoiler=I have an *almost* perfect image for this. Just needs editing.]

It doesn't need editing, somehow this is John's fault.

BARROWMAN!

Zachary Amaranth:

Binnsyboy:

[spoiler=I have an *almost* perfect image for this. Just needs editing.]

It doesn't need editing, somehow this is John's fault.

BARROWMAN!

Agreed, that crazy bastard.

But really, if it said CAMERON! it would be perfect. It even looks like he's saying that.

How about this:

"Where to find bears in Scotland."
"How to train bears to kill."
"How fast can a bear kill an adult."
"How many people are in the Houses of Parliament."
"London police response times."
"How to get a bear into London."
"Houses of Parliament tours."

Simply because someone either has to say:
"Sir, I think someone is going to release a bear in the Houses of Parliament."
or not say that and live in fear of bear-based attacks.

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