Killing spree in Hungary... with a twist

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These sword puns are really 'cutting' into the humorous part of the story.

Looks like his rivals got a 'sharp' reminder of not to mess with this guy.

Still, that guy sure 'slashed' his chances of being free.

The odds stopped 'tipping' in his favor after the police 'slashed' the time of this mans life as a free person.

Making jokes about a killing spree isn't 'gleaming' but quite 'edgy'

I realize he was upset, but he didn't have to slash out at them

So wait.
Why the fuck didn't anyone SHOOT him.

I feel like I'm asking a stupid question here.

(Sorry for being a pun c-c-c-combo breaker.)

Chairman Miaow:

xSKULLY:
can this serve as proof to the fact that ive stated allot on this website
people kill other people without guns, therefore every time there is a gun killing spree and everyone goes "guns are terrible" or "guns kill" those people are wrong. people are terrible and people kill, they killed before guns were invented and will continue to kill after guns become redundant
thank you

Yeah, people will kill people anyway. Let's tally up the kills and make a comparison though shall we?

okay in 2006 in england there were 163,000 knife crimes, in america in 2006 there were 4,000 gun crimes. This means in the UK there is 1 knife crime per 375 people and in the US there is 1 gun crime per 750 people.

source http://sob.apotheon.org/?p=1323

if you look at US statistic you are more likely to be attacked with a gun than with a knife but the stats above show that violent crimes involving weapons occur more commonly in countries that have very strict gun laws (youre not even allowed to own a handgun in the UK) compared to countries that allow citizens to carry guns

Hmm... maybe these people shouldn't have dirked around so much...

Only pun I could think of that hadn't already been abused to death.

xSKULLY:

if you look at US statistic you are more likely to be attacked with a gun than with a knife but the stats above show that violent crimes involving weapons occur more commonly in countries that have very strict gun laws (youre not even allowed to own a handgun in the UK) compared to countries that allow citizens to carry guns

I guess the fear of getting capped is a good deterrent isn't it?

xSKULLY:

Chairman Miaow:

xSKULLY:
can this serve as proof to the fact that ive stated allot on this website
people kill other people without guns, therefore every time there is a gun killing spree and everyone goes "guns are terrible" or "guns kill" those people are wrong. people are terrible and people kill, they killed before guns were invented and will continue to kill after guns become redundant
thank you

Yeah, people will kill people anyway. Let's tally up the kills and make a comparison though shall we?

okay in 2006 in england there were 163,000 knife crimes, in america in 2006 there were 4,000 gun crimes. This means in the UK there is 1 knife crime per 375 people and in the US there is 1 gun crime per 750 people.

source http://sob.apotheon.org/?p=1323

if you look at US statistic you are more likely to be attacked with a gun than with a knife but the stats above show that violent crimes involving weapons occur more commonly in countries that have very strict gun laws (youre not even allowed to own a handgun in the UK) compared to countries that allow citizens to carry guns

I was referring specifically to sprees.

Chairman Miaow:

xSKULLY:

Chairman Miaow:
Yeah, people will kill people anyway. Let's tally up the kills and make a comparison though shall we?

okay in 2006 in england there were 163,000 knife crimes, in america in 2006 there were 4,000 gun crimes. This means in the UK there is 1 knife crime per 375 people and in the US there is 1 gun crime per 750 people.

source http://sob.apotheon.org/?p=1323

if you look at US statistic you are more likely to be attacked with a gun than with a knife but the stats above show that violent crimes involving weapons occur more commonly in countries that have very strict gun laws (youre not even allowed to own a handgun in the UK) compared to countries that allow citizens to carry guns

I was referring specifically to sprees.

if i get shot i dont care whether or not im part of a spree or not and i doubt anyone else will, in spree stats yes guns are more dangerous but overall knifes are much more dangerous than guns, its shallow just to look at spree stats and say "yep guns are dangerous ban guns" because overall its much safer to allow citizens to have guns than to ban them

yep a pile of people slaughtered and people on here not only dont give a shit its something to laugh about and make jokes about it.

Rawne1980:

Police said 135 officers were involved in the operation to capture the man, alongside members of the country's counterterror unit.

Was it just a random guy with a sword or the fucking Highlander.

I wonder if they all did a pile on when they caught him.

No no , hes fucking He-Man , HE HAS THE POWWWWAAAA!

I guess this was a cut-throat situation .

MY god, I have never seen this happen on a thread before...

My sides hurt...

God people people died and you're making sword puns? What's wrong with you?!

But at the very least he made his point, i suppose his argument didn't cut it

His argument was straight to the point.

This story really sticks in your head, makes you more open minded about this sort of tragedy.

But in terms of sheer brutality, his crime was a cut above the rest.

I suppose now the local governments will take a stab at reducing sword ownership.

I guess many people will be gladius when he gets rapier'd in prison.

You guys know you're all going to hell for this, right?

K, just checkin.

Chairman Miaow:
Yeah, people will kill people anyway. Let's tally up the kills and make a comparison though shall we?

Firearms have only been around and active in killing for about 400 years, for over 3000 years swords and various bladed weapons have been doing the damage. While the two World Wars boosted the body count for bullets significantly, it still can't compare to 2500 year edge swords have.

The puns! So many sword-related puns! I'd make one, but it's almost guaranteed at this point that someone has made it. I'd take a stab, but anything I say just isn't going to cut it.

xSKULLY:

Chairman Miaow:

xSKULLY:

okay in 2006 in england there were 163,000 knife crimes, in america in 2006 there were 4,000 gun crimes. This means in the UK there is 1 knife crime per 375 people and in the US there is 1 gun crime per 750 people.

source http://sob.apotheon.org/?p=1323

if you look at US statistic you are more likely to be attacked with a gun than with a knife but the stats above show that violent crimes involving weapons occur more commonly in countries that have very strict gun laws (youre not even allowed to own a handgun in the UK) compared to countries that allow citizens to carry guns

I was referring specifically to sprees.

if i get shot i dont care whether or not im part of a spree or not and i doubt anyone else will, in spree stats yes guns are more dangerous but overall knifes are much more dangerous than guns, its shallow just to look at spree stats and say "yep guns are dangerous ban guns" because overall its much safer to allow citizens to have guns than to ban them

I never said ban guns. You can have a gun if you want.

I mean, the U.S. Does have a murder rate almost 4 times most of the rest of the civilised world, but whether or not it's because of guns doesn't really matter.

demoman_chaos:

Chairman Miaow:
Yeah, people will kill people anyway. Let's tally up the kills and make a comparison though shall we?

Firearms have only been around and active in killing for about 400 years, for over 3000 years swords and various bladed weapons have been doing the damage. While the two World Wars boosted the body count for bullets significantly, it still can't compare to 2500 year edge swords have.

Because I was obviously suggesting a copmarison between them OF ALL TIME!!!

Mantonio:
People have died, Escapist forums.

You sound cut up, maybe you should calm down with a drink to take the edge off things.

All of the joke posters should think twice before revealing a slice of their sick minds.

Rawne1980:

Police said 135 officers were involved in the operation to capture the man, alongside members of the country's counterterror unit.

Was it just a random guy with a sword or the fucking Highlander.

Christ, I almost fell off of my fucking chair.

Averant:
You guys know you're all going to hell for this, right?

K, just checkin.

Just so as long as we don't get sat next to the sword-wielding nutjob.

demoman_chaos:

Chairman Miaow:
Yeah, people will kill people anyway. Let's tally up the kills and make a comparison though shall we?

Firearms have only been around and active in killing for about 400 years, for over 3000 years swords and various bladed weapons have been doing the damage. While the two World Wars boosted the body count for bullets significantly, it still can't compare to 2500 year edge swords have.

oh longer than 3000 years for edged weapons... not to long ago they found a 10000-year-old spear preserved in melting ice near Yellowstone National Park... hell we have been using tools to stab each other since the Paleolithic era 2.6 million years ago before homo sapiens even existed... so guns have a lot of catching up to do... lol

Matthew94:
I guess he stopped messing around and got straight to the point.

He didn't have to cut up his problems so badly.

It wasn't just his wit that was razor sharp.

I see he pierced the issue with that one.

OT This is a tragedy and I do not condone any killings.

You're pretty sharp Matthew, but if you keep it up, you'll be up to the hilt in trouble.

It will be tough to parry your puns with ones of my own, but i'll slice through this writter's block soon enough.

I guess using a sword could bring a few good points to the argument. Why have sharp wit when you have sharp objects?

Matthew94:

ElPatron:

Matthew94:
This story has really penetrated the news it seems.

And they say that firearms are the cutting edge of weapon technology....

I guess this story really tore that notion to shreds.

Knowing people today, though, I doubt firearms dealers will be too cut up about it.

OT: This is a terrible event, and should not be made light of, but damn, I love this thread.

image

Seriously, this is absolutely hilarious. I would be delighted to see a competition to make puns about different subjects in the forum games section. It'd be amazing, and it really would be a cut above the rest of the forum games, and perhaps possibly even give Escapist an edge over other gaming sites with it's witty and sharp community that is always eady to duel against each other in a battle where the sharpest tongue would win.

I know my pun-making-skills are pretty rusty.

Guys, please CUT back on the sword puns...

...I couldn't resist

jcb1337:
So...even though I find this little pun fest amusing...I wonder why no one has really commented seriously on the fact that it took over 135 trainer law enforcement agents, to stop one civilian, armed with a sword. I think that's where the real humor lies.

I'm sure a couple officers took a stab at it, but they probably couldn't get the guy to cut it out. Its too bad that the man couldn't resolve his argument with his family, because now he'll probably be cut off from them for the rest of his life.

At least no one is trying to make a Hunger games pun out of Hungary.

Matthew94:
I guess he stopped messing around and got straight to the point.

He didn't have to cut up his problems so badly.

It wasn't just his wit that was razor sharp.

I see he pierced the issue with that one.

OT This is a tragedy and I do not condone any killings.

>.>

that last line seems a touch insincere after 5 painfully bad puns ....

and of course bladed weapons are 'brutal' -.- have they never read a history book?

Hate to cut and run, but I'm just going to leave my two cents here. And yes, I just had to.
I love swords as much as the next guy, but this is... Wow.
The guy must have had a lot of pent-up anger to go in and personally kill his victims with a long sharp piece of metal instead of something more clean and efficient like a firearm. And that's probably why a hundred thirty-five officers got involved. If you hear about that, it doesn't matter how many officers are on the job, you just know you've got to take him down.

Matthew94:
I guess he stopped messing around and got straight to the point.

He didn't have to cut up his problems so badly.

It wasn't just his wit that was razor sharp.

I see he pierced the issue with that one.

OT This is a tragedy and I do not condone any killings.

ಠ_ಠ

OT: Family... argument...? How...?! Couldn't they have just discussed the issue over a slice of pie or something?

Oh God, guys, what have you done to me... The Dead Horse Interchange is going to cut us a new one over this.

C F:
The guy must have had a lot of pent-up anger to go in and personally kill his victims with a long sharp piece of metal instead of something more clean and efficient like a firearm.

I have seen quite a few wounds from both bladed weapons and firearms are both are quite messy.

Sometimes swords aren't very clean and make a mess out of limbs, sometimes the cut is actually decent.

Many times a firearm creates an ugly entry wound and a repulsive exit wound. I have seen deer losing half of their ribcage and jumping around until the lack of heart made it drop.

During the 80's, the Soviets were issuing their 5.45x39 rounds into what became their first real field test. Afghanistan.

The bullet's small weight and high speed made it tumble and cause massive wounds that were very hard to heal. Sometimes a hit on the limbs was enough to destroy muscle and break the bone, chopping human members right off. Sometimes it even acted like the American 5.56x45 round and just fragmented into small pieces.

TL;DR - firearms are messy as hell. There is nothing "clean" about using them unless you have perfect conditions. If you want to kill a wild animal, a firearm is good because you can plan ahead and line up shots. In a shooting spree you can't.

werewolfsfury:
they should have given him a warning shot with a taser into his leg.

- If it hits, it's not a warning shot
- Taser electrodes can be stopped by clothes. People with hoodies have escaped taser shots in the head without incapacitation
- Tasers are quite effective, but you can't be 100% sure of incapacitation. People on drugs can shrug off the shock.
- There is no such thing as a warning shot. If you have a gun, you NEVER point it at something you don't want to hit, so you keep the muzzle facing the threat. Shooting at the air can cause an innocent person getting shot from more than a mile away, shooting at the ground can cause a ricochet

deserteagleeye:
At least no one is trying to make a Hunger games pun out of Hungary.

I made one at the first page.

EDIT: Oh, Hunger GAMES. Didn't read it right.

This thread is so good, I'm going to saber it.

ElPatron:
TL;DR - firearms are messy as hell. There is nothing "clean" about using them unless you have perfect conditions. If you want to kill a wild animal, a firearm is good because you can plan ahead and line up shots. In a shooting spree you can't.

You're right, of course. I'm sorry, but I wasn't thinking about the wound when I made that statement. Unless the killer has had some sort of advance training, you can pretty much expect all murder victims to be messy kills. I was thinking more about the guy doing the murder; I'm assuming he had the option of choosing either a point-and-shoot route, or physically slashing and/or bludgeoning the people to death with a fancy metal rod. He chose the latter, which is the hands-on, gruesome route in my book.

Although I'm not saying guns are somehow morally better. We're talking about murder. They're just more impersonal, and the gunpowder does most of the work for you (if you aim it properly, at any rate). It takes a special kind of crazy to go for the sword. Just my opinion.

Chairman Miaow:
I was referring specifically to sprees.

All of these used melee weapons.

Unek, William - 21 kills, unknown wounded, 1954
Unknown Soldier (India) - 22 kills, unknown wounded, 1950
Hedin, Tore - 9 kills, 20 wounded, 1952
Unknown (Philippines) - 32 kills, unknown wounded
Wirjo - 20 kills, 12 wounded, 1987
Formentera, Arsenio - 17 kills, unknown wounded, 1968
Unknown (India) - 14 kills, 2 wounded, 1936

I can get you more, if you insist

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