Dealing with sadness

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My life just took its first downturn, & I have no experience with dealing with my emotions. So how do you guys do it? How do you make something stop hurting?

When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.

True story.

Joking aside, the best thing to do when your sad, is to do something that makes you happy, or at least something that takes your mind off of things.

Whatever happens, happens.

Stop dwelling on it... No matter how hard or sad the problem. No matter how long it takes, just accept it and move on with your life. Time can heal almost any wound*...
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*Except physical wounds...

go with the classic that humans have used for countless generations... Booze

When I'm sad, I prefer wallowing in it.
It feels good.

But if I want to stop feeling sad, I'll listen to some melancholic jazz songs and gradually move onto happier music.

I screw up all the sadness, loneliness, terror and panic in to a hot little ball and hide in my heart to fuel me with hatred for a world that makes me feel those things.

Depends on what the pain/sadness is. Usually doing something that makes you happy works. Especially if it's a short-term/single disappointment. If it's a relationship-related thing like a breakup, in my experience it seems like it's kinda like getting a cold: No real cure. You just muddle through the unpleasant bits and eventually you feel better. Doing things you enjoy is fine, and it does tend to help. Although I suppose there is something to be said for making sure you're not using the things you enjoy to distract you as opposed to using them to help you move along. Distracting will likely only mean facing the sadness at a worse time, like when you can't use those positive things when you need them. Using them to help means you've thought it over and somewhat worked through it but you could use what makes you happy to help...."keep you afloat" so to speak so you can work through the issue completely and come out the other side a bit older and wiser.

Jonluw:
When I'm sad, I prefer wallowing in it.

Mostly this.

When I am sad, it's generally because of something major. I'm not really the kind of person who gets upset at the small things. So if something hits me hard enough to make me sad, I just want to be sad about it for a while (unless the option comes up to fix it). I throw some sad music on, and I cry for a week, or a month, or whatever.

I just go on with my life. That sounds a bit harsh, but that's the easiest way to deal with being down. You go and hang out with friends, do somethin' you love, anythin' where you aren't thinkin' about how sad you are and suddenly, just like that, you aren't sad.

Though, it can backfire if you completely try to be numb through things. Everything will build up and you will have a severe emotional break down (At least, I do) so it's best to talk about it sometimes if you get too overwhelmed.

When I have a problem either I solve it or if it cannot be solved I simply ignore or plan around it. No sense getting upset it won't get me anywhere best to just do the best with what I got.

Try to get some exercises. It is always a good way to get some of the sadness out of your mind. Do something you really enjoy, I find this to be the best tip. Whenever I feel the familiar depressing thoughts invade my mind with all itīs pain, sorrow and sadness I always try to walk in the woods and listen to Kitaro.

I know how hard it is to listen to tips during the sad time, but donīt do what I tend to do when I get too sick of the sadness and compress it to something small which you hide in your soul/heart. It will someday come back and destroy you even more.

Well everybody works differently and you'll have to find your own thing, I say this because I just went through something myself, more specifically my grandmother's death, but I found it interesting that everybody reacted differently, though most were crying they were all crying for different reasons, some because they would never see her again, some because of failed promises and in a particular case, just regret that she never told her that she loved her.
I myself am not sad at all, mostly because my reaction to the news was to have a flashback of everything we ever did together, and after that I just felt happy that I got to know her and that we shared so many experiences, as I said everybody reacts differently and you're going to have to find you're own thing, most people were trying to cope with it by being as helpful as possible, some just got as drunk as possible and some just spent the whole day crying, just do whatever feels natural to you, maybe you need to get drunk, maybe you need to help, maybe you just need to be alone, maybe you need to play or maybe you just need to be sad for a while.

David Wong wrote this really great article about being sad/hurt that helped me through some really hard times in my life. The most important thing is that life changes. It can always get WAY better or it can always get WAY worse. Instead of focusing on the shitty spot you're in right now, you may as well just trudge through it and hope your next turn takes you someplace great.

http://www.cracked.com/article_15658_the-ten-minute-suicide-guide.html

You never said you were thinking of suicide, but the above link is helpful regardless.

Normally, I just kinda convert it into anger, and start thinking about hurting whoever put me in this sh**ty situation.

Yeah...probably not healthy...

It is kind of hard for me to say to be honest people have thanked me for this advice and dismissed it as useless and i admit it does sound kind of cold and not knowing you I find the latter to be more likely.

Simply put it does not fucking matter i am not going to give you the "mountains and valleys" bullshit some time life does have it ups and downs but sometimes all it has are downs it may not get better but you can always learn to deal with it and yes I do mean always I know happy people who make next to nothing, I was happy once even though I had next to nothing it is hard to say how I did this but in time I can to the realization that nothing was set in stone and that even if it was it did not matter, let what is imperfect in your life remain imperfect even enjoy it's imperfection it likely started to fade into a state of disrepair because you held something in a higher regard and even if that failed it still does not matter because at least you learned something even if it is how to fail.

I find that I sit there brooding over it until other things force me to stop. Like school. If I'm sad and upset about something I have a hard time bringing myself to do anything distracting deliberately. I just have to end up doing stuff because I'm forced to. So I have no advice, I'm terrible at it myself.

There is a silver lining to every cloud even if you think things couldn't be any worse, they could. In my life when I was sad I looked for the best out of the situation. An example is when my dog (that I loved and she was considered family) past away I was very sad but I looked back on all the good times with her and I wasn't so sad. She was in a lot of pain and couldn't even walk so at least now she doesn't have to suffer any more. All I'm trying to say is that there is a way to look at the glass as half full and not half empty.

Hm. Interesting methods.
For now, I believe an LRR marathon is in order.

Honestly, I just stuff my head deep into gaming.

Depending what is making me sad, a heavy dosage of either power metal or death metal

I think if there's a way to fix the sad maker. If so, I act. If not, I move on.

Do what I did: sit in your dorm room doing nothing but playing video games, and then get suspended from your university.

No, don't do that. For the love of god, when shit hits the fan, put a hold on your education and, if possible and financially feasible, your job, or else you could end up giving up midway through the semester.

The only effective way for me to deal with sadness is to give it some time. That said, after what happened to me, I can think of only a handful of things that would cause my sadness to be more than a blip on my emotion-radar.

Few things compare to what happened then, which has made it a lot easier to get over most new threats that come my way.

Well, I do two things. First, I tell myself that it is all in the past, and no matter what I do I cannot change it. I then sit down and figure out how to make sure it never happens again, so I am prepared for next time. <-- Note: Does not apply if talking about relationships.

2nd: Play games, read books, watch stuff till my eyes bleed. Just bury myself in that for a while. Not anything depressing or dark either, something light-hearted and funny.

And... That is the extent to which I deal with sadness/depression. Might not be the healthiest options ever, but they seem to have worked for me, so maybe they will help you.

EDIT: Also, avoid negativity. Never helps me when I am sad.

When I'm sad, I like to disappear into a good book, or have a Lord of the Rings marathon. Or sometimes I'll just pop in my ipod, hide under a bunch of blankets and let my brain run wild.

Also, sometimes I'll see how far I can get in Ocarina of Time in one sitting starting from the beginning. It's relaxing to me.

I usually cut off all contact to the outside world. Phone and laptop off. :3

The biggest advice I can give about sadness/depression is: don't let it swallow you. Let yourself be sad, but don't let the sad/depressed become the only thing you are.

I hope this helped in some way :))

Ps: If you ever need someone to talk to, my inbox is wide open!

Either try to distract yourself from it as much as possible and maybe get a new hobby or do things that keep your hands and mind busy. If you can't, then try to turn it into anger when it gets too much. Anger is easier to deal with than depression IMO. Unless you're the kind of person who can handle it, don't wallow in it. It'll eat you alive.

Whenever I see this thread on the forum it reminds me of reasons to be sad...

I'd say the proper answer to that question would be to do/think of something that makes you happy.

Though I may be a terrible singer, I sing to make me feel better.

Jonluw:

But if I want to stop feeling sad, I'll listen to some melancholic jazz songs and gradually move onto happier music.

This is what I recommend. It's what I do. Put on my sad music and as I shuffle through it, eventually I find songs that I just want to listen to that are more up beat and as I listen to those, whatever emotion I was feeling before goes away.

Other things that you can do is to write, or vent to someone. I've sometimes found that, when I can't talk to anyone, just going and writing it all down on paper and then burning that paper makes me feel like I got it out, but nobody had to see it.

Another thing I personally like to do is to just aimlessly ride the bus. Get on a bus and just ride around for a few hours. This kind of goes back to the music thing, though, considering usually I have my ipod with me. But either way, the change of scenery sometimes helps.

Best of luck, friend

Aris Khandr:

Mostly this.

It just isn't the same without the voice.

Personally, I just lose myself in a good TV show or film (not one that's all dark and depressing, that's really not going to help) - usually a TV show, because I can just spend HOURS on it, and eventually I'll just forget about everything else. Listen to upbeat music, because I'm REALLY responsive to music, or an audiobook, because it's hard to conduct an internal monologue of self-loathing when someone is constantly talking in your ear. So in short, I totally distract myself until I forget why I was supposed to be upset about whatever it is I was upset about.

Daystar Clarion:
When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.

True story.

You're always awesome. Cool 24/7. An unbroken chain of radicalness.

I just go super saiyan and blow shit up with my kamehameha

honestly though, I usually try to cry for a while, fail at it and then go exercise or write a story. Occasionally I'll go over to a friends place and get drunk and watch mystery science theater or something. Posting on forums helps too. It's actually the reason why I've spent half the day on this one.

When I'm in a particular mood, I go on walks, mull things over, draw back into myself. I listen to songs while I walk, usually whatever best reflects what I'm feeling. It's very therapeutic. It's best to do it at night, so that it's dark, and to listen to your music loudly so that you can just lose touch with the rest of the world. Your legs are so mechanical you only need a vague understanding of your surroundings. I play out scenarios in my head, or just think about shit, only caring enough to not stray too far from home. It's especially good on a cold winter night in especially tempestuous weather. The flurry of snow creates a sort of bubble around you, where you can't see very far in any direction. It's like being in some surreal, transcendental realm, separate from everything, alone with but your thoughts for company.

Note: I live in Utah. It's safe to be out and about here even at two or three in the morning. If it's not wise to walk around at night where you live, I'd suggest listening to a comedian. Any will do: I personally like George Carlin and Bill Hicks, because they remind me that nothing is so shitty that you can't joke about it.

Whenever I don't feel so great, gaming is perhaps my best mood-lifting distraction. Along with that, usually a nice walk somewhere to think about things or listening to my favorite kind of music helps as well.

ilovemyLunchbox:
David Wong wrote this really great article about being sad/hurt that helped me through some really hard times in my life. The most important thing is that life changes. It can always get WAY better or it can always get WAY worse. Instead of focusing on the shitty spot you're in right now, you may as well just trudge through it and hope your next turn takes you someplace great.

http://www.cracked.com/article_15658_the-ten-minute-suicide-guide.html

You never said you were thinking of suicide, but the above link is helpful regardless.

Thanks for posting that. You may have saved me hundreds of dollars on therapy to come to many of the same conclusions.

When I'm sad, I try and be graceful. It's just another time I'm sad and I'm not going to let drag me down any further. Note how I say try :p.

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