WTF Australia?!?!?!

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 NEXT

Oh and kangaroos, kangaroos are awesome.

A kangaroos kick can do some seriously damage, mate.
I was out in the bush the other day and they have some serious power in those legs.

OT: Thats just an orb weaver. I don't think his bite would actually kill you. Hurt like hell yeah, and be ultra creepy coz its the size of your face, but you wont die.
I don't think Red-backs and Funnel-webs have killed anyone in years.
Maybe you should stick away from Africa. I hear that Nile crocs and Hippos kill heaps more people each year then these spiders do.
Australia's great mate.

All this, then you have the sexual predator that is the koala:


I'm not going insane because I live on the other side of the planet and I challenge that spider to come survive a Canadian winter.

You know what, fuck it I'm moving to Antarctica. Let's see them get me there!



It's still not as horrifying as the (Australian) tree that shoots poisonous needles at all living things that approach it...

Considering we have 9 of the most ten most poisonous snakes in the world exclusive to our little island I'd welcome this spider warmly, but on the other hand I hate spiders, of which we have one of the most poisonous spiders too, one of which is native to my city....WHY DO I LIVE HERE!!

A tip if you come here, out in the wild, if you see an animal, do not touch it

Sleepy as they might look, koalas are not nice, Not nice at all.

Also, beware of drop bears, they will attack you. Make sure to bring a hat, sitting under a tree unless it's an isolated tree is very, very dangerous.

EDIT: I have to wonder who cursed the city of sydney. The biggest city here with a huge population density, and that is the only place on earth where the funnel web is. Take that, Sydney!

Daww, what a cute little spider.

Look at the noble thing, all protecting us from the snakes and shit. That's a total spider bro. Ask it, and i bet it would spot you $50 for weed and never even ask for so much as a hit of it in return. What a bro.

Also, just saying, we need to start spreading more videos like this all over the internet for out national security.
"Want to invade our country?
Still want to invade our country?
Didn't think so."

And the funny thing?
That snake eating spider isn't our most deadly.

Considering we have 9 of the most ten most poisonous snakes in the world exclusive to our little island I'd welcome this spider warmly, but on the other hand I hate spiders, of which we have one of the most poisonous spiders too, one of which is native to my city....WHY DO I LIVE HERE!!

Probably 2 or 3 of which are native to your city, assuming Sydney.

Here's a tip: When you have a hunstman living in your house, for gods sake keep it alive at all costs. ALL COSTS. If you have to cut off a piece of your flesh to feed it because it's hungry, do it.
Huntmans have a tendency to eat redbacks, funnelwebs and white tails. And as such, are more valuable than gold.
They're also extremely chill and you can generally pick it up and gently move it closer to your enemies with you bare hands. Just don't annoy them or move too quickly or they might bite you, and that's like getting bitten by a small dog with the size of their fangs.

Eh. Don't go near it, you'll be fine. As you can see, the Camera man wasn't exactly eaten, but W/E. The wildlife ain't actually so bad if you live in the city/suburbs around here. Worst I've ever run into was a couple of Kangaroos at my bus stop, and they didn't cause any trouble.

I'm not really afraid of spiders, so....

I'm more afraid of the Manchineel, which is the most poisonous tree in the world. So dangerous that in Florida, you are not allowed to hunt alone until you can prove what it is by site. Don't eat the fruits because it can kill you. Breathe anywhere near it and you can die. Touch its sap and it blisters your skin.

Worst I've ever run into was a couple of Kangaroos at my bus stop, and they didn't cause any trouble.

Kangaroos are like people highly trained in martial arts.
If you're cool and don't mess with them, they'll leave you alone.
If you piss them off, they will fuck you up.

For all that we joke, Australian cities are no worse than European or American ones.
I, of course, live in suburbia, where my 70-year-old grandmother has to kill pythons with a shovel. I have thankfully avoided the outback.

Try being an arachnophobic Australian. FML

one of the first things we learn in aus is this; if it looks fucked up leave it the hell alone

Ahh...the joys of the Australian outback.

My dad and I took out to red belly black snakes on Christmas, great start to the morning. But I CAN NOT deal with spiders, fucking scary creatures....lucky I don't live in Sydney so the Funnel Web is not found near me.

But the mosquitoes here can be a huge pain in the ass, I kill about 300 per night, they love the lights


I didn't know we had those; isn't that nice. I should find one of those and put it in my backyard to keep the snakes away.

You know what, fuck it I'm moving to Antarctica. Let's see them get me there!

Just because it's funny...

There is no escape mwahahahahaha


you see a eather run away or kill it

I no longer like you.

seeing as how, being australian myself, I would usually be obliged to defend my home and state that its not as bad as everyone says, but I did find a snake just chilling out in one of Perth's metro area parks so... yeah...

Oh, I forgot to mention, do not, I say again, do not attempt to use bug spray on a funnel web. The first and last time I tried that, she sat there patiently, occasionally turing around or taking a few steps towards me to let me know she was alive. Then the can ran out and she reared up waving her upper legs around in the air sprinted towards me.

use boots, big boots with thick soles. grind the fucker into the gound and salt the earth. come back in a month and place a fly on the scene every month for the next year to appease saint spider everitt or your footy team will never again be the premiers. This is the only way to defeat an Aussie spider.

Next up.... silver and why it has no effect on inland taipans.

Australia. . .Fuck Yeah!

I can't remember where I first heard this; but no matter what we may say to the contrary, all aussies are secretly proud of our killer wildlife.

Golden Orb spiders aren't the only ones to eat snakes, I've seen a redback do it as well. Lived here for 20 years, most of which has been in North Queensland, spent a lot of time out in the bush, seen a great many snakes and spiders, never been bitten. They're fine as long as you don't do something stupid and keep your eyes open. Please visit...Plus we need tourists to feed to them so they don't get hungry enough to eat us :)

Also, couldn't agree more, very proud of the killer fauna.

Hate to point this out, but these spiders have been around longer than there have been white people in AUS. not exactly news. Also we don't kill them. We run.

Lonely Packager:
In Australia, we have a custom called, 'toughening of the men'.
All newborn male babies are abandoned in the great outback and it's up to them to find their way back home.
They must endure blistering heat, countless venomous creatures, lack of water and boxing kangaroos.
The only way to survive is to adapt to the environment - learning to live off nature and to be able to win a fight against an emu.
All babies that do not survive are deemed not worthy anyway. The ones that do survive grow up to be Saxton Hale equivalents.

True story.

Oh, and do not try to squash the spiders, that only makes them angrier.

My uncle didn't make it. He wasn't manly enough.

OT: You learn pretty early on which spiders are poisonous and when you come across them you get a shoe and squash them. As deadly as they may be they're still tiny and they're not hostile, it's just a precaution. The non deadly ones you leave be.

True story, back when I used to smoke pot I came across a red back spider whilst high (these ones are poisonous by the way). So I decided to blow smoke on it to get it high. I've seen them that many times they don't worry me. I think that about sums up Australian suburbia.



you see a eather run away or kill it

I no longer like you.

its better to kill it....I mean in other palces you can call certain people to come and "take care of it" for you (no killing)

"ahem" *puts of gruff voice* but out on the farm you cant have things that can kill you or your dogs crawling around unchecked, espeically when you have kids running around

I think my dad once told me he was doing somthing with a water tank (I or somthing liek that) and this big ass tiger snake rises from the water (like a god damn hydra) and comes at him...yeah apretnly tiger snakes like to swim

I once freaked out when I saw a snake on the outsode doormat (and the door was ajar enough so that it could have come in)

a freind also once told me a snake had come into the house..under her bed



you see a eather run away or kill it

I no longer like you.

Mate, in all of of the half dozen rural towns in the three states that I have lived in in this country snakes are all well and good until they are on your property. We have yound them in my nephews bedroom, the woodpile, the garage. Sure if its chillin out in the back paddock, no wucking forrys but hte second that he is a threat to me and mine, I'm goin for that shovel.

That is the minority of situations though, normally I will take a few steps back, give him some space and then give him a wide berth but it still stands that you either walk (sudden movements are a bad idea with snakes) or kill it.

This is why I live in Melbourne. We don't get the nasty stuff down here.

Think Australian wildlife is bad, try going to Indonesia or Malaysia.

Ok...hunstsmen spiders

SURE theyre harmless....but theres enough meat on them to feed a small family

fuck those big..hariy...fuckers

We were warned, we were warned about the Australia. Staying far away from it is how I will ensure that contact with large many-legged creatures is at a minimum. And if I should ever find myself there for some reason, well...


I also read about a spider that had armor on its back hard as plate mail and could breathe underwater, couldn't find the link now thou...

Eh...if you're not a snake, I don't see the issue. Spiders haven't killed anyone by biting them since anti-venom was developed. Ok, they've learnt to attack people driving cars and cause them to crash, though.

Mostly, Australian wildlife is fine is you stay away. Most people who get killed or injured seem to be stupid young males wanting to show their mates how manly/stupid they are by doing something dangerous.


I'm starting to wonder if being Australian and still alive is something to be proud of, or if everyone else needs to harden up a bit.

I hate being an arachnophobic in Australia...

This flag is to be taken literally;

PS look out for drop bears!

Does anyone else think we should douse the entire continent in napalm, just to be safe?



Just when I'd heard it all, just when I thought Australian wildlife couldn't get any more terrifying; fucking SNAKE-EATING SPIDER!! It's a spider. And it eats snakes. What. The. FUCK.

This is why I could never go to Australia. Even knowing this was on the same land mass as me would scare the shit out of me. Hell I'm having trouble with the fact it's on the same planet as me! How the hell do you guys not go insane?!

Discussion value: The spiders. How do we destroy them? is your friend. (Or Enemy depending on how you feel about Australian fauna.)

Ah yes Cracked. They introduced me to the terror of giant blue earthworms

pfft, you kidding?
we got worms that'll chew their way into your flesh.

tip, wear boots.

eh...I'd still be more worried about them funnel web spiders. Sure that golden orb weaver looks scary as hell but the worst that'll probably ever happen is a painful bite and a soiled pair of pants. Besides, I've seen these spiders take down birds so a snake is really no surprise.


I chased a rat into some long grass once. I hit the black shadowy thing with the broom i had and out popped a cobra. Snakes are cool though.

And hey i have something to share.


Pffth. Snake-eating spiders are nothing compared to the drop bears.

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 NEXT

Reply to Thread

This thread is locked