WTF Australia?!?!?!

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Noxman:

Hazy992:

Goofguy:
I'm not going insane because I live on the other side of the planet and I challenge that spider to come survive a Canadian winter.

You know what, fuck it I'm moving to Antarctica. Let's see them get me there!

Have fun in Antartica...

Yes I know it's actually a sea spider but still rather intimidating.

Although I love spiders. And snakes. Why am I not in australia again?

image

Fuck it, I'm going to Mars

Abandon4093:

Hazy992:

Goofguy:
I'm not going insane because I live on the other side of the planet and I challenge that spider to come survive a Canadian winter.

You know what, fuck it I'm moving to Antarctica. Let's see them get me there!

OT: Isn't that a Golden Orb weaver? Yea, they're nasty pasties. There was a vid of one of those munching on a birdy not too long ago.

That is not a spider, that is a goddamn Facehugger! D:

Hazy992:

Abandon4093:

Hazy992:
You know what, fuck it I'm moving to Antarctica. Let's see them get me there!

OT: Isn't that a Golden Orb weaver? Yea, they're nasty pasties. There was a vid of one of those munching on a birdy not too long ago.

That is not a spider, that is a goddamn Facehugger! D:

FEAR IT!

Noxman:

Hazy992:

Goofguy:
I'm not going insane because I live on the other side of the planet and I challenge that spider to come survive a Canadian winter.

You know what, fuck it I'm moving to Antarctica. Let's see them get me there!

Have fun in Antartica...

Yes I know it's actually a sea spider but still rather intimidating.

Although I love spiders. And snakes. Why am I not in australia again?

Goddamnit!

I really didn't think anyone would have ninjad me on that one.

Fuck you man, fuck you and your ninja ways.

the clockmaker:

Danzavare:

the clockmaker:
In my twenty years in this country I have been attacked by
-A king brown snake (survival tip 1-thick pants)
-A roo
-An Emu
-A cockatoo (fuckers can bite like all hell)
-Magpaies, lots of magpies.
-A saltie, (thank fuck I got behind that fence)
-All of the spiders (except white tails)
-a scorpian
-as well as a whole swathe of non-native animals
In addtion
-a frill necked lizard put my uncle in hospital
-I saw a wombat fuck up another wombat (who knew that they even fought)
-A guest got fucked up by a koala that she tried to touch (retard)
- A mate got stung by a platypus.

Do you live in a country town and/or zoo? o.O

On topic: I can't blame you for being paranoid, I'm convinced 90% of Americans are gun-toting hics waiting to rob and kill me. It made my time in Texas extra fun. <.<;

A country town, but most of this happened in other country towns

I see, so they are as scary as they say.

Captcha: run farther

android88:
The same way we do with the other billion weird and dangerous wildlife in Australia, don't think about it.

that may work until you fall asleep and the little fuckers have laid eggs in your eyes and the mother is literally eating out you ass hole while you scream but its too late and the eggs hatched, went through your brain, shat, and another mother is makeing its way leg first through your mouth from your stomach with the nasty-est taste imaginable and a mother fucking WETA crawls out from behind your eye!!!!

OH DEAR JESUS I CAN TOUCH THE FLOOR ANYMORE!!!!!!! EVERYTHING IS FUCKING LAVA!!!!!

Ok, how bad could this be? (follows link)

GAAAAH! WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL IS THAT ABOMINATION?!

Seriously, fuck that. How do Australians deal with living in a country where the food chain is so horribly violated on every level?

yjchung:
Oh yeah, and stonefish. Gotta love dem stonefish.

Registers 10 on the Fuckenstein meter, don't you know?

Hazy992:

Discussion value: The spiders. How do we destroy them?

the same way we destroy everything else
image

on a more cynical not why not just feed it cane toads?

>.>

i decided a LONG time ago, after a particularly LONG stint on cracked, that Australia is not where i want to go, at all. way to much shit wants me dead

devilofthemist:

Goofguy:
I'm not going insane because I live on the other side of the planet and I challenge that spider to come survive a Canadian winter.

never challenge nature, it will fuck your day up, on tomorrow's news a new breed of super spider that can swim,run and tunnel at 60mph is the size of a cat and can survive any temperature between -100 and 100 degrees Celsius

Come at me, spider. I've got Jack Johnson, Tom O'Leary and my swinging cod.

*australian accent*
You call that a spider? THIS is a spider!

TIL The Escapist is not like Reddit. Can I say TIL here?

So yeah, Australia just gave humans another reason to GTFO and we're too drunk/proud to bother. Just wait, cause the first time you hear news of an actual dragon or living dinosaur its going to come frmo australia.

Hazy992:
Just when I'd heard it all, just when I thought Australian wildlife couldn't get any more terrifying; fucking SNAKE-EATING SPIDER!! It's a spider. And it eats snakes. What. The. FUCK.

This is why I could never go to Australia. Even knowing this was on the same land mass as me would scare the shit out of me. Hell I'm having trouble with the fact it's on the same planet as me! How the hell do you guys not go insane?!

Discussion value: The spiders. How do we destroy them?

Well obviously we engineer a toad/Rhino crossbreed. The Krogan. And unleash them on the spidery bastards.

Really though KILL IT WITH FIRE PURGE THE JUNGLE OF THESE MONSTERS! Goooood I hate spiders. *shivers all over and double checks there are none on him.

Fucking Australia. And fuck the guys balls that are steel enough to put his hand next to the fucking thing.

Risingblade:
See this is why we should destroy Australia it's has nothing of value except for killers spiders and snakes! Oh and kangaroos, kangaroos are awesome. So yes it's decided, we must export all the roos in Aussie then nuke the country and hopefully not create radioactive spider snakes.

The british tested nukes on Australia once. Now there are spiders the size of rats in the outback.

the clockmaker:
In my twenty years in this country I have been attacked by

- A mate got stung by a platypus.

They can STING you too? Holy shit, how are platypi not the dominant species of the world yet...

Goofguy:

devilofthemist:

Goofguy:
I'm not going insane because I live on the other side of the planet and I challenge that spider to come survive a Canadian winter.

never challenge nature, it will fuck your day up, on tomorrow's news a new breed of super spider that can swim,run and tunnel at 60mph is the size of a cat and can survive any temperature between -100 and 100 degrees Celsius

Come at me, spider. I've got Jack Johnson, Tom O'Leary and my swinging cod.

sorry why are we not making this into a film?

Meanwhile in Australia.

Spiders, where?

Haha, I live in the Suburbs of Perth and we/I barely get a spider, I only get the red backs of Huntsmen (which are outside), and the only spider that gets in my room dies later that day. :D

Still I'm scared sh*tless of them. >:(

Excuse me one moment.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm certain that this would help people decide properly before coming here

EDIT: embeding the video didn't work so have a link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNEeq5qGh8I

Shopped.

We don't have anything like that out here. No, we have cute things, like koalas. They don't secretly want to rip your faces off to make a fleshy quilt with or anything like that, what gave you that idea?

Worst we get here in Britain is probably the odd angry badger or two.
image
Seriously, don't mess with badgers, they're mean bastards I tell you.

First thing I thought of when I read the word 'spider':

image

Get outta the picture y'damned mantis!!

Well, if Australia ever wants to take over the world, I'm sure they'll have no problem. Fucking unleash their god damn animals on us. I'm just going to stay in Canada, where the only thing I have to worry about is bears, wolves, lynx and the occasional moose crossing the road (the moose will fuck you up). Also the winter, but only when it drops to around -50 degrees. Thank you long underwear :D

Also... what the fuck is a drop bear?? Is it as scary as it sounds?

the clockmaker:
In my twenty years in this country I have been attacked by
-A king brown snake (survival tip 1-thick pants)
-A roo
-An Emu
-A cockatoo (fuckers can bite like all hell)
-Magpaies, lots of magpies.
-A saltie, (thank fuck I got behind that fence)
-All of the spiders (except white tails)
-a scorpian
-as well as a whole swathe of non-native animals
In addtion
-a frill necked lizard put my uncle in hospital
-I saw a wombat fuck up another wombat (who knew that they even fought)
-A guest got fucked up by a koala that she tried to touch (retard)
- A mate got stung by a platypus.

I read that the platypus sting is one of the most painful stings on the planet. Did you friend talk about the pain much?

iLazy:
Well, if Australia ever wants to take over the world, I'm sure they'll have no problem. Fucking unleash they're god damn animals on us. I'm just going to stay in Canada, where the only thing I have to worry about is bears, wolves, lynx and the occasional moose crossing the road (the moose will fuck you up). Also the winter, but only when it drops to around -50 degrees. Thank you long underwear :D

Also... what the fuck is a drop bear?? Is it as scary as it sounds?

Words cannot describe the horror that is the drop bear. Why do you think we Australians drink metric fucktons of numerous beers all day long?

Anyone saying Australia isn't that bad is telling lies.
When I was younger I was pulling apart a dead XBOX controller, as I cracked open the casing a damn White Tail Spider jumped out of the controller at me. Horrible creatures, their bite will rot the flesh.
My dad once had a dog, it got torn to shreds by a koala.
When driving avoid wombats, they will put a big dent in the front of your car and probably totter away with a headache.

So...yea.
Australia.

Come. Live. Love. Stay the fuck out the bush-land.

image

That's from the Florida Everglades, snake eating alligators.

Hazy992:

Goofguy:
I'm not going insane because I live on the other side of the planet and I challenge that spider to come survive a Canadian winter.

You know what, fuck it I'm moving to Antarctica. Let's see them get me there!

Well then you'd have these to contend with.

image

Hazy992:
SNAKE-EATING SPIDER!!

What, didn't you know that every animal in Australia purely exists to terrify humans?

Every. Single. One.

Even Koalas. Have you heard the sound they make? It's horrifying.

yeeeeaaah... im on OP with this one.. danish hunter spiders is big enough for me.. any bigger ... hell no!

Wow, I live in Cairns (where this footage was taken, therefor where this spider is). Guess I ain't sleeping tonight. Golden Orbs are nothing to be afraid of really, it's more the Black Widdows, Funnel Web and the Red/White Back spiders you have to watch out for. They are the killers. Now to go to bed while holding a can of insect killer... and a brick.

White Lightning:
If you think that's scary wait until you see the bug that eats that spider.

What about the single-cell predators that rip those bugs with their huge venomous pseudopods of death?

Having spent several weeks in the Amazon rain forest a few years ago Australian wildlife doesn't seem all that scary, seriously if someone offers you a trip into the heart of the Amazon punch them in the gut and run for it.

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