Just so you know gay romance is no different from hetro romance. Comes with just as many problems as normal dating.

Coming from a Bi guy so I know both sides.

Eh, not to be rude, but you seem to be basing these views off of romantic fantasies.

Hah we me and dad were doing some carpentry work, fixing the place up for a gay couple who had moved down from sydney.

We were there a long time and we got pretty friendly with them. One of them actually told Dad that he had once knocked his partner out with a single punch after an argument.

I wouldnt be surprised if quite a few gay couples get into good punchups. Since there isnt that social stigma about hitting a woman like in a heterosexual couple for them to worry about

You're basing this off of the sterotype portayed by the media. Trust me, gay guys have just as much trouble with relationships as everyone else. As for the enjoying more manly things, I'm the same. I love video games, I love sports, I love getting dirty in a mosh pit but I haven't let it bother me. I don't see gender as being your personality. I don't see myself as a girl with a mans personality, just a person who likes sports. If you stop thinking oh I'm female I should be like this it might help. It's steroytyping again.

This is such a rose tinted view that it's actually kind of sad...

Oh my god why?

This may be hard for you and others. but i believe this to be true.. there is no such thing as "True Love"... Now hear me out. i am not saying there isn't people who truly love each other however they aren't always happy and yay i am in love. Love is a Choice you choose to make daily. there is no falling in and out of love. love is difficult you have to work at it and choose to love that person. it wont always be fun, or romantic, or interesting but it will be worth it.

I'm gay.

First: Gay relationships seems to last longer, because when you finally find someone who share your sexual attractions, you want to keep them. Being heterosexual is like easymode sexuality. There are lots of people who share your sexuality.

As a gay person, when you finally find a person in real life, next step is the fact that they have to be 1) Gay 2) Attracting 3) Likeable 4) Relationship material. Since this isn't something that happens very often, since statisticly 10 people out of 150 will be gay, when you finally find a combination of the four traits, you want to cling on to them. Fighting over the dishes or laundry suddenly don't become worth it, compared to the amount of work and time it took to find them in the first place.

I am not saying that heteroseuxals do not at least try to get it to work, but I do think that some heteroseuxals take their selection of wares for granted, when they consider their own personal feelings toward a partner. "I can just get a new one". Many pop culture songs actually endorses this way of thought, and I think that it's worth considering, that gay relationships are harder to get into, simply because there necssesarily aren't an abundance of gay people around in your daily life.

I like my sexuality, but I think you should appreciate your own aswell. If you like men - and like being a woman, you should stay with that. The grass might seem greener on the other side, but you forget the downsides of having to be called sick, perverted, faggot, sinner, moral decay, second grade citizen and nazi on a regular basis by the viewers and writers of FOX News and Conservative media around the world. As a gay guy/girl, you lose the title of "human" in some peoples eyes.

I'm a straight male and I don't want to be a stereotypical "Leave it to Beaver" house dad who takes his little Jimmy and Bobby fishing and teaches them life lessons either. The very thought bores me to death. You just have to find a person with the same mindset, and gender doesn't make that any easier/harder.

Valis88:
...well a 'breeder'.

I had no idea that there was a derogatory term for being hetero. The more you know...

OT: Yea, as a straight dude who's housemate happened to be pretty much gay I can assure you 100 percent that your representations of gay life are pretty much in the wrong. They absolutely have the same issues as everyone else, only moreso by the fact that there are even fewer of them. Trust me, media warps all of the relationships to seem however they want you to see them. This does not translate into reality very well.

We're not all like that from what you've seen on TV shows and movies. <.<

Well goodness, let's see, I'm gay, been essentially single my whole life and am a virgin at 20. All (and I'm not even exaggerating) gay/bisexual guys I've met only want one-night-stands, open relationships, or friends with benefits. The idea of monogamy or a long-term relationship turns them off, and unfortunately for me I suppose, that's what I want (and one of them even said I had a "heteronormative disease", yes, those exact words).

So frankly, I honestly don't see what it is YOU see. Of course, I'm just speaking from experience, although you did say your beliefs are mostly based on what you see in fictional media, so...

get with a metro?

Valis88:
I've thought about surgery but, I'd never be a real guy, an even then it would not be genuine. I just wish I could walk into a tank,and walk out a man....*sigh*

I just wish...I don't know...I just wish I had the true love that gay men had. It seems so ideal, so real, and gay male life seems so exciting and romantic.

I wouldn't recommend surgery. You'd just be mutilating your genitals for... what reason? You still have two X chromosomes, can't change that. Also, it sounds like you've romaticized "gay love" a wee bit too much. I have two friends who are gay (and were in a relationship with eachother) They went through almost the same shit I've gone through with past girlfriends, 'cept they were dudes.

Maybe just go play the field? How long has it been since you were last in a relationship?

Miss V,

2 things.

1) If you're looking for a male partner, don't sell yourself so short. Your male-oriented interests are generally an appealing quality to men. My wife loves games too, but I also wish she'd watch UFC with me.

2) I am sure the idea of a sex change has floated around your head for a while, but be very careful before committing to anything. Talk to people who have undergone the procedure, your uncertainty and confusion is not uncommon. A friend of a friend was born a male and dated women, and about 3 years ago had a sex change to become a woman. 'She' then got into a decent length relationship with a guy, but after a year or so broke it off because she decided that she prefers women after all. From what I have heard, she is satisfied with her decision to become a woman, so it just seems she was unsure which gender she was attracted to more.

So as another poster here said, yes, essentially she was a man who became a lesbian. But the issue here is that they still had unresolved issues and simply having a sex change didn't fix them.

funny how this reminds me of a friend who crossdresses as an anime chick wishing he really was one

Valis88:
Hear me out on this.

I'm a straight woman, in her mid 30's and often it feels like I've been thrown into the wrong body, and that I'm pretty much doomed to heterosexuality.

Perhaps I'm being overly nieve, perhaps I'm being overly romantic about this, but it seems to me like gay man, and gay male relationships are always so strong, and so loving. Every time you see them in movies and games they always seem so true, and so much more real thin the overplayed hetro relationships. They seem to have more of a connection, and a closeness.

It looks lie it's real 'true love'.

I have no desire to produce offspring, I don't really want to be a 'wife', and my love for male things (like games and action moves) seemed to have put me out of the running for any normal male affections, and really I often recoil at 'typical' hetro romances in books and media.

What is wrong with me? Is their something wrong with me? Are my assumptions about gay male love correct?

I just feel so itchy, and so...ugh...in the skin that I am in...i wish I could change it. I wish I could be 'better'.

i would suggest contacting your local sexual health unit or what ever it called where you live. they provide confidential help to people with gender and sexual orientation issues including counselling.

as for surgery and it not being real, well from a few female to male transitioned guys ive talked to, the hormone treatment goes exceedingly well and is exactly like going through puberty for a male, and yes the changes are permament. as for surgery that involves a lot more operations than someone transitioning from mtf but the results are alot better even if the surgery is harder.

Syzygy23:

Valis88:
I've thought about surgery but, I'd never be a real guy, an even then it would not be genuine. I just wish I could walk into a tank,and walk out a man....*sigh*

I just wish...I don't know...I just wish I had the true love that gay men had. It seems so ideal, so real, and gay male life seems so exciting and romantic.

I wouldn't recommend surgery. You'd just be mutilating your genitals for... what reason? You still have two X chromosomes, can't change that. Also, it sounds like you've romaticized "gay love" a wee bit too much. I have two friends who are gay (and were in a relationship with eachother) They went through almost the same shit I've gone through with past girlfriends, 'cept they were dudes.

Maybe just go play the field? How long has it been since you were last in a relationship?

actually people can be born with chromosomes of the opposite gender to what their physical gender is, its rare but it happens

I think you're quite deluded on what gay relationships are like. They're just like any other relationship between two people.

And "breeder" really? You know, Woman are more than just breeders.

Movie relationships always seem so pure and fantastic compared to real life. Sometimes I look at couples on TV and I think "Man, they overcame so much adversity to get to where they are. I bet they never get freaky in the bedroom."

Valis88:
Hear me out on this.

I'm a straight woman, in her mid 30's and often it feels like I've been thrown into the wrong body, and that I'm pretty much doomed to heterosexuality.

Perhaps I'm being overly nieve, perhaps I'm being overly romantic about this, but it seems to me like gay man, and gay male relationships are always so strong, and so loving. Every time you see them in movies and games they always seem so true, and so much more real thin the overplayed hetro relationships. They seem to have more of a connection, and a closeness.

It looks lie it's real 'true love'.

I have no desire to produce offspring, I don't really want to be a 'wife', and my love for male things (like games and action moves) seemed to have put me out of the running for any normal male affections, and really I often recoil at 'typical' hetro romances in books and media.

What is wrong with me? Is their something wrong with me? Are my assumptions about gay male love correct?

I just feel so itchy, and so...ugh...in the skin that I am in...i wish I could change it. I wish I could be 'better'.

You're "not doomed to heterosexuality" per say. I mean, what about homosexual male relationships can't be applied to homosexual female relationships? I mean, you get the whole romance without any goal other than romance, and therefore pure love thing going on.

And I don't want to be insulting or anything but just seems to me like you're a yaoi fan whose put too much thought into things.

Heronblade:
I'm going to suggest that you see a psychologist.

Bear with me a second, I'm not suggesting that you're crazy, but it does seem clear that you have some emotional issues that need to be talked about with someone just a bit more professional than you will be able to find here.

If nothing else, you should be able to find out for certain whether you have genuine Gender Identity Disorder, which can be dealt with with or without surgery, or simply a case of very low self esteem that you've subconsciously chosen to associate with your body, which is generally even easier to deal with than the former case.

Like others here, I would suggest avoiding using the media to judge any relationship by, whether gay or straight, they don't tend to reflect reality on a reliable basis.

Agreed. Therapy might help figure out if it's just a romantic notion, or gender dysphoria. Trust me that latter sucks... and it's not about how you perceive others in your "target" gender, it's perceiving yourself AS AS AS the target gender.

I think you want to be a gay man in the same way I want to be a lesbian woman.
_{Then I remember that I'm 1,95 meters tall and almost 100 kg With broad shoulders and very large feet. I'd make a pretty ugly woman}

I feel like you every time I hang out with my hot twin gay friends. Jokes aside, it sounds like you have an extremely romanticized version of gay relationships. All relationships have problems, they'll all be messy at one point or the other, and none of them have the Disney happy ending. Sorry man, that's just the way it is.

Now I can understand if gay relationships appear to be strong, or even stronger, but gays go through a lot of discrimination and hate based on their sexual preferences. A gay couple probably has to go through a lot of hate on an everyday basis. That kind of stuff may strengthen your resolve to stick together, but it's tough mentally.

Video games and action movies aren't just for men, that's sexist bullshit. Embrace who you are and what you want to watch or do and just don't care about what others say. Nobody's forcing you to be a wife (and if they are, then get out!), and no-one's forcing you to have kids (again, RUN). There are tonnes of people who think that way, and that's perfectly ok. Point is, being less girly than the average girl isn't an automatic turn-off. Hell, I'm a girl and guys tend to like what they call my 'man brain'. So give it some time, don't sweat it, and don't generalize all guys.

Valis88:
Hear me out on this.

I'm a straight woman, in her mid 30's and often it feels like I've been thrown into the wrong body, and that I'm pretty much doomed to heterosexuality.

Perhaps I'm being overly nieve, perhaps I'm being overly romantic about this, but it seems to me like gay man, and gay male relationships are always so strong, and so loving. Every time you see them in movies and games they always seem so true, and so much more real thin the overplayed hetro relationships. They seem to have more of a connection, and a closeness.

It looks lie it's real 'true love'.

IIRC gay men face higher chance of domestic abuse than lesbians, so yeah your wrong.

Being a Gay man, or Lesbian, or Straight man, woman whatever doesn't make anything different or special because most of gay people have the same relationship problems straight people do...

Yes, because all gay people are exactly the same.
*sigh*
Gay people are exactly like everyone else. Some of them have great relationships, some of them have dreadful ones.
Get your head out of the clouds (or out of your arse) and join the rest of us in the real world please.

Well as bad as the gay marriage bans in America and other crazy countries are, there is a silver lining to it: Namely, it stops gay people marrying on a whim. If you see a gay married couple in America, chances are they fought pretty hard to be together.

This could be what gives the impression of them having some kind of mystical love connection that nobody else seems to. They're just guys, capable of all the same flaws as anyone else is.

Valis88:
erhaps I'm being overly nieve, perhaps I'm being overly romantic about this, but it seems to me like gay man, and gay male relationships are always so strong, and so loving. Every time you see them in movies and games they always seem so true, and so much more real thin the overplayed hetro relationships. They seem to have more of a connection, and a closeness.

First off, you really shouldn't be judging any kind of relationship by what the media presents you. Media representations of relationships are often over-dramatised or over-simplified bullshit. Not to say there isn't some truth in what they portray, but it's often not accurate.

Trust me on this, using all my relationship experience as a gay man: Gay relationships are pretty much the same as straight ones. There's just different genitals involved. We all have our own issues, we really do. Sure gay relationships often don't have to deal with the stereotypical stuff like "why didn't you put the toilet seat down" or other crap like that, but we have our own shit to deal with. It's far from perfect or better than straight relationships by any stretch of the imagination.

It's just... different. Having two guys instead of a guy and a girl is just naturally going to make a different kind of relationship and a different way of expressing affection. Doesn't mean one type of relationship is better than the other.

SaikyoKid:

Valis88:
...well a 'breeder'.

I had no idea that there was a derogatory term for being hetero. The more you know...

We had to level the playing field somehow.

OT: Yea, as a straight dude who's housemate happened to be pretty much gay I can assure you 100 percent that your representations of gay life are pretty much in the wrong. They absolutely have the same issues as everyone else, only moreso by the fact that there are even fewer of them. Trust me, media warps all of the relationships to seem however they want you to see them. This does not translate into reality very well.

This too. The sheer lack of gay people around really is a handicap for us. When the guy you try hitting on has only a 3% chance of even potentially liking you, it's going to work out badly quite a lot of the time.

captcha: "change yourself". Strange....

ReservoirAngel:

This too. The sheer lack of gay people around really is a handicap for us. When the guy you try hitting on has only a 3% chance of even potentially liking you, it's going to work out badly quite a lot of the time.

captcha: "change yourself". Strange....

We were always told 2 in every class were likely to feel attraction to the same sex. That's 10~%

Mayhaps:

ReservoirAngel:

This too. The sheer lack of gay people around really is a handicap for us. When the guy you try hitting on has only a 3% chance of even potentially liking you, it's going to work out badly quite a lot of the time.

captcha: "change yourself". Strange....

We were always told 2 in every class were likely to feel attraction to the same sex. That's 10~%

Really? Huh... I'd always been told it was about 3% of people who turn out gay. Maybe the 10% number includes bisexuals and people who just get curious. Or maybe I've just been wrong this entire time and there's more gay people around than I thought there are.

I'd prefer to go with the 10% number actually. Makes me feel like I'm not quite as small a minority.

Having a number of gay and bisexual friends, I can tell you that homosexual relationships are as messed up as heterosexual ones. Why would there be any difference? Taking away a gender doesn't take away the fact that you'll fight. You'll differ in opinions, some you'll defend strongly, and sometimes you'll have conflicts. There is no difference. And besides, relationships shouldn't be defined by gender. Being in a relationship is just about one thing, and that is being with someone who you love deeply who loves you back. Whether or not you both carry a disco stick between your leg shouldn't matter. If you are willing to fight for your relationship and for your love, it will work.

Trust me, the only difference between heterosexuals and homosexuals is how and what they bump their lower regions together.