I wish I was a gay man...(updated on Page 4) Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 | |
good luck on the tank thing, but... dont become one of those flamboyant gay men. they are so irritating. once, i was walking to school, and this gay man had the rainbow flag, and only the rainbow flag, wrapped around him. thats ignorant, no-one wants to see your sausage. | |
I have had gay friends and its just as "real" as any other relationships. You'll hate each other over dumb shit in a gay relationship too. They will cheat on each other, resent one another, and everything else straight people do. The only difference is two plugs or two outlets. | |
Anothing thing comes to mind. Perhaps it's just where I live, but I find that so many straight men are near complete homophibes, and that's a huge turn off for me. As soul crushingly lonely as I am, I could never date or be with someone that tires to 'be a man', and hate on the gay community. Hell I've gone so far as to really deny that I am in fact 'straight' I've kind of back away from that label due to all the negativity that it seems to produce. Why would I want to be straight? Or labeled as such? it seems like a nasty thing to be, now a days. I guess I just yearn to belong to something, to a people, and I don't feel that I belong to what I am....if that makes any sense. >_< | |
"Everytime you see them in movies and games" Yeah, so are hetero relationships. Dear god. I admit, we do have more "closeness" but that's just due to having more on common and understanding each other better.. y'know, being men. But no, your assumptions aren't correct, they're just as rose tinted as every other love story. It's just about finding someone who is compatible.
You try to be something you aren't because you aren't happy with what you are.. sounds like a case of.. escapism. | |
I'll state the obvious here and point out that being straight and being a homophobe are far from being one and the same. Sure quite a few straight people don't like fags, but it's hardly all of them, or even anywhere near a majority. Of course that varies from place to place and certain areas (I'm looking at you Alabama and neighbouring Southern States!) have higher concentrations of bigoted morons than other places. | |
*sigh* I just wish I could belong somewhere, to someone, to an organization, peoples, and culture...but not the one I belong to now... The grass isn't greener on the other side? If it isn't then how can we work on making heterosexuality less the bane of jerks, ignorants, and other complete undesirables. I can never say that I'm proud of who I am. :/ | |
Straightness and heteronormativity are not the same thing. I already know I deserve an equal chance of a happy life. I already know I deserve not to be regarded as abnormal. I don't need you to affirm that by living in penance, and anyone who would ask that of you is a deeply unpleasant and insecure person. You'd do me far more honour as an LGBT person by insisting, against all odds, on seeing me as a person, first and foremost rather than a faceless expression of whatever "unity" you think I have. Because actually, I'm just like you. I don't really have some flag or community to affirm my self worth. I still have to measure my self worth like everyone else does, based on who I am and what I've done. Heterosexuality isn't "nothing". I should know, I had to go through losing it.
Look, you can't judge yourself against these people, and actually one of the advantages of being straight is that you shouldn't ever have to. These people don't get to determine who you are, you're not a unified mass who have to wave the same flag to get noticed. You are allowed to be independent people. And you know what. As bad as your community environment might seem, there are probably gay people in it. They might be living very closeted lives and just trying to blend in and get by, they might be absolutely terrified. If you can believe that you can be a compassionate straight woman, if you can have the courage to live openly with your anti-homophobic convictions, then if not a partner then you might well find friends who can support you, if you feel you're worthy to support them. I'm not promising anything. It sounds like this is something which isn't going to be fixed with a few words, I'm just saying try it and see. Life won't get better if you give up on it.
Well, let's start with the one heterosexual we know we can get through to and work on.. If you're willing to stand up for what you believe, to refuse to be a jerk, not only are you setting an example, you might also find you reclaim some of the self-respect these people have hammered out of you. You may even find that once you have a bit of security, you attract people who aren't quite so insecure themselves, who have similar convictions and similar standards, and who might be willing to build the kind of relationship you want to have, not the one you feel you're expected to have. But you need to get over that fundamental wall which stops you being proud of who you are. It might look like an impossible task, but that's why you might need someone to help you break it down, and fortunately those people exist. | |
You can start by not labeling the rest of us straight people as "jerks ignorant, and completely undesirable". You want to fit in, go to your local gym, join a workout class and meet new people. Go to your place of worship(if your religious at all) at meet other people there who you can be friends with. Network, network, network! See if the people you work with want to go out for drinks afterwards. Look at your local community center and see if they have any meet ups for hobbies that interest you. Take a few classes at a community college and meet some new people, join some clubs. and most importantly, when you are doing these things.....network, network, network!! | |
All the straight girls want to be gay guys and all the gay guys want to be straight girls (tee hee) Joking aside, it is totally okay to be the way you are. Not all girls want to be a mother or a wife and your interests are your own so don't let anyone put you down for them, I think you are idealising the gay relationships, which is understandable because gays are AWESOME. But underneath the surface they have their own issues about dissapointing their families, never being able to have their own biological kids together, not being real "men". Plus the gay community is so small that it can be hard to meet the right person or if they play around too much then they get caught. Maybe the gay thing looks so great because there are two people together in the face of adversity. Maybe you need that, you sound like a rebel so maybe you need to meet another rebel just like yourself. On the other hand, it is not unheard of for women to become gay men and if the itch never goes, try looking like a man for sometime. It differs from county to country but if you want the surgery you have to live like the opposite sex for x amount of years | |
A development....of sorts... More and more I fear, getting into a relationship, with a man. I mean I desire men, but now I feel that it's wrong, and that if I do, I will become the enemy of LGBTQ people. I struggle with a sexuality that I'm now beginning to actively loathe....I don't know what to think anymore....I don't want to be a foe. It's so hard, not to wish, I was a gay man. | |
People voted 2-to-1 against LGBT inclusiveness? I mean it's an internet poll so it's not the best source, but the poll is sort of pro-inclusiveness... Also, why are you so obsessed with LGBTQ people? There are other minorities. Why don't you wish to be a racial minority? | |
Are you for real? The enemy of LGBT? You think embracing your sexuality is going to make you the enemy of... How can you even think that? Why should your sexuality matter one bit to anyone else? Isn't that the point of a lot of the LGBT movement? I'm so confused. | |
Those minorities aren't fashionable anymore, get with the times. | |
Actually I do, however that an entire other facet of pain that I have inside.
I swear to you I am not, in any way, joking about this. I struggle with this, just about every day of my life. The thing is I'm not sure why, but it seems the older I get the more I feel like being Hetro is just...I mean all the horrible things Hetro people have done. I feel guilty, by proxy. | |
Super. I think you seriously need to re-evaluate your life if you actually think like that. Figure out what actually makes you think that way, I really doubt it's 'hetero-guilt', whatever the fuck that is. | |
That's simply irrational because they have nothing to do with you. Their heterosexuality isn't what made them bad people. Seriously, if you feel guilty about everything that someone sharing certain traits with you has done that's not a normal mindset and sounds unhealthy. | |
I'm with Colour-Scientist on this one, you're not making much sense. It sounds like you have a different kind of issue (some kind of existential crisis, maybe?) that somehow managed to get caught up in your sexuality. In a way, I remember having similar thoughts to yours during my crisis of faith in junior year. For me, I got past it by stumbling into a new perspective on spirituality and religion; why not try something similar? As someone else suggested, if it's the people around you making you feel guilty-by-proxy, then find a new community. I don't know how old your are/your dependency on your parents, but you definitely need a change of pace. People aren't as bad as they seem, and your line of thinking isn't going to help you in the long run. | |
Sexuality doesn't determine your morality. Honestly the only hatred I've received for being myself was from LGBT people. Asses are found amongst heterosexual and homosexual groups indiscriminately, so are good people. Honestly, I don't mean to offend. But get your ass to a psychiatrist. You really sound like you need one. | |
It is probably because men are more naive than women, and homo relationships are stronger because the people are more similar and less scared of the unknown sex Also, the bits are just much noticeable on men | |
Wait...really? In what way? I've never hard that before. I will seek professional help for myself but, I just wish I knew why I feel this way. I guess when I see stuff like the articles I posted, I yearn to be on the other side of that sexual segregation. | |
Huh? That makes no sense. It would be like me feeling guilty about all the horrible things that have been done by people who have grey eyes and like iced coffee. | |
Ma'am there are jerks on all sides, every single side has a whole lot of jerks, it just may seem to you like Hetero's are the jerkiest, because there are way more of them, therefore there are more jerks there, but labeling the entirety of heterosexuals jerks is a little extreme and very wrong, besides you have no reason to feel guilty of what other people have done, now considering everything you have said, I really doubt we can help you here, and as you said you should probably go see a psychologist or therapist or psychiatrist or whatever it is those guys are called, anyway good luck with that problem of yours. | |
I think you just need to find a guy like mr in your life and you would see all the problems you so worried about arent real. | |
I can remember feeling that. If you don't fit in anywhere, it's so easy to look at the unified LGBT movement and want in on it, but the fact is that you can't force that kind of thing. If you're straight, you're straight, nothing's gonna change that. You'll eventually find somewhere you fit in, if you just don't stop looking. As for relationships, stop thinking about it so much. The pursuit of a relationship when there's no-one right for you around has destroyed many a person. I wonder whether I should tell you to give up completely, but it's unlikely that's necessary. My situation is that I am far too hideous for any affection to ever be reciprocated, yours is different, you could start looking out of town and for anyone who isn't completely abonimable, it's definately possible to find someone, but I don't want to set you on the track to desperately searching everywhere you can. Just try to enjoy yourself, and forget about getting into a relationship as much as possible. Hope it helps. | |
Well for starters, hatred/distrust of bisexuals - especially bisexual women - is rampant in the lesbian and gay communities, to say nothing of the hatred for religious or conservative homosexuals. Or the chasm between effeminate and masculine gay men. And so on and so forth... The fact of the matter is that LGBT people are every bit as small-minded as their straight peers. | |
This is biggoted. You feel that simply by sharing a simple feature with some people it makes you responsible or even related to them? Not at all! I cant feel guilty for people who like ice cream. And you feel the best way to escape the "guilt" of those dirty ignorant evil straights is to join the super nice do no evil other side? Both sides are PEOPLE. They are just people. Assigning "personality" to a sexuality is steriotyping and its biggotted. It was pretty damn likely Hitler was gay. Should all gay people feel guilty? Should all vegetarians feel guilty about hitler? NO! Of course not! It has NOTHING to do with anything! Nothing at all. No one should feel guilty about what that guy did since they have nothing to do with him. If it isn't then how can we work on making heterosexuality less the bane of jerks, ignorants, and other complete undesirables. Youve used bane wrong and youve applied a pretty offencive steriotype. The gay community isnt the saints you want to think they are. A gay friend of mine was wronged recently by another gay person. Can you handle the guilt by proxy you will feel for this incident should you beocme a gay man? | |
To be honest, this thread kind of feels insulting. The whole, 'guilt by proxy' thing. | |
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surely thats not true..I cant imagine a sane reasonable man rejecting a women because she isnt "feminine" enough (not talking about attractivness..but femininity)