Books you finished and just thought: "Well...that was shit"

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READ!!! Nothing your school made you read. The School board knows as much about literature we'd like as much as I want to sacrifice Justin Bieber's soul to whichever supernatural embodyment of evil I can find.

Okay, rant over. Mass Effect: Deception. Now, don't rag on video-game novels. The first three were actually quite good and provided a nice cherry on top of Mass Effect's cake(anyone remember this meme?). The first three were written by Drew Karpyshyn (the lead writer of Mass Effect), but this one was the first book of a newbie.
Basically, it was poorly written. The characters were shallow and their personalities from the previous books and/or games were butchered. The "dramatic plot twist" was so poorly executed and stupid that I just put it away for a while, before finally finishing it.

EDIT: Yes, I know that there were quite a few faults with the established lore that even a casual fan would've foamed at the mouth at, but I chose not to be another drone to the swarm.

So, how about you guys?

I don't remember what it's called but there is a book that's the unoffical sequel to "catcher in the rye", it was complete and utter shit.

Captcha: well read

I'm reading Insomina by Stephen King, I wouldn't describe it as shit it's just a tad disappointing no where near as good as I thought it'd be. I've got to the last 194 pages and I just can't be arsed to finish it. Sorry, King old friend you've lost this one man.

I remember reading the first Darren Shan book about demons and thinking "hell this is good", but from there on in it decreased in quality and comprehensiveness until I literally threw one of the sequels at the wall. I read some of his vampire books as well; they were utter shite too.

Other than that, not much, although I read Patrick Ness' 'Chaos Walking' books and I thought pretty much exactly what the OP put, but not because it was bad, mainly because it was over and there was no scope whatsoever for any more sequels. Shame.

Twilight tome 4 .

Yeah that was shit .

Maximum Ride: The Final Warning. It's the fourth in the Maximum Ride series which were for the most part pretty good, although the science was a bit strange at times.

I won't go into detail, but the book is about the main characters having nothing to do, so they go to Antarctica, play with penguins, defeat a brain in a jar(yes, really.) by accident via hurricane, then they talk to Congress about global warming.

Oh, and a talking dog grew wings for absolutely no reason.

There was this William Shatner Star Trek book which he basically wrote because Generations didn't have him "die alone" - it was the unofficial sequel to that movie (which I quite liked actually) and "fixed this". It involved Borg and Romulans, and it was stupid. Completely stupid.

IIRC it was called Dragon Sleeping, there are apparently 3 books in the series and I don't recall what book I read. The premise sounded really good but it ended up being a fascinating study on what happens when an author has writers block. There were several points in the story where it not only got very sluggish, but the characters dropped all their traits and sounded exactly alike and the writing suddenly started swearing a lot....then everything would go back to normal and the story would proceed at a good clip...until the NEXT bout of writer's block hit.

I read all the Twilight books, because I thought I would read all of them before I start to bad mouth it so I could back it up with examples from the book.

DEAR GOD THEY WERE SHIT. Book number 4? WTF?! Nothing happens!

The 4th Twilight book was awful. The Darren Shan Demonata series was pretty darn crappy after the 3rd book in my opinion. There was a Stephen King story about a pupil who discovers his neighbor had a dark past, I couldn't finish it, it just didn't draw me in.

Renegade-pizza:
READ!!! Nothing your school made you read. The School board knows as much about literature we'd like as much as I want to sacrifice Justin Bieber's soul to whichever supernatural embodyment of evil I can find.

Okay, rant over. Mass Effect: Deception. Now, don't rag on video-game novels. The first three were actually quite good and provided a nice cherry on top of Mass Effect's cake(anyone remember this meme?). The first three were written by Drew Karpyshyn (the lead writer of Mass Effect), but this one was the first book of a newbie.
Basically, it was poorly written. The characters were shallow and their personalities from the previous books and/or games were butchered. The "dramatic plot twist" was so poorly executed and stupid that I just put it away for a while, before finally finishing it.

EDIT: Yes, I know that there were quite a few faults with the established lore that even a casual fan would've foamed at the mouth at, but I chose not to be another drone to the swarm.

So, how about you guys?

Well, Drew Karpyshin isn't exactly the best novelist either. At least not when he's working with other people's ideas. To whit, he has a couple of serious abortions of novels, namely Darth Bane: Dynasty of Evil, and Revan. Dynasty of Evil was just stupid compared to the fairly solid first two novels, while Revan managed to undo every single cool thing Obsidian had added to the Revan Character, as well as utterly destroy any of the ambiguity that KOTOR 2 established with regards to the true Sith. Also, he killed T3M4 and the Jedi Exile. NOT COOL.

In other Star Wars Novels, Invincible. One of the worst books I've ever read.

Atlas Shrugged. It took me months to finish that tedious load of crap. I thought it would be interesting, but damn, you could use it to put an insomniac to bed.

I read a Terry Goodkind book once. I can't remember what it was called. I think I blocked it from my memory.

Awful, awful writer.

Dan Brown - that book that was turned into a film with Tom Hanks... which I'm currently very proud of being unable to remember the title of.

Other than that... oddly enough, when I read Song of Ice and Fire, I really didn't like it. I've still got the first few books kicking around (cheap fucker that I am, got a whole load for much cheapness), so I'll have to give it another go.

Oh, and anything I've had the misfortune to read by CS Goto.

I can't help but feel that the ending to Lord Sunday came right the hell out of nowhere.

ToTaL LoLiGe:
I'm reading Insomina by Stephen King, I wouldn't describe it as shit it's just a tad disappointing no where near as good as I thought it'd be. I've got to the last 194 pages and I just can't be arsed to finish it. Sorry, King old friend you've lost this one man.

That is my absolute FAVORITE Stephen King novel! The climax is fantastic. I know it can be a trudge, but trust me, you have to get through it.

OT: Watership Down. It was far too complicated as a book, but the film is magnificent.

I remember reading The Hobbit and when I finished I put the book down and said out load I have no idea what I just read. It wasn't that the book was bad I just couldn't tell what was happening mind you I read this when I was like 9-11 years old area.

Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut. This book just bored me out of my mind, so much of the book was just the main character interviewing and having conversations with other people. The only thing I really liked about it was the ending, the rest of it just bored me to tears.

I'm not sure why I found it boring either, i've read some of Kurt Vonnegut's other works and found them to be quite enjoyable.

The Hunger Games and the Twilight series. I did not understand the love and hype for these books at all.

SckizoBoy:
Dan Brown - that book that was turned into a film with Tom Hanks... which I'm currently very proud of being unable to remember the title of.

Other than that... oddly enough, when I read Song of Ice and Fire, I really didn't like it. I've still got the first few books kicking around (cheap fucker that I am, got a whole load for much cheapness), so I'll have to give it another go.

Oh, and anything I've had the misfortune to read by CS Goto.

You mentioned the black Irish Leper. This pleases him.

By the way, where did you want me to install the multilaser shower head? Should I put it next to the Backflipping Terminator doll?

Neuromancer by William Gibson...it's hugely influential, coined the term cyberspace, but I literally could not get past the first 20 pages. It's as if it was written by a 5 year old.

I also read some conspiracy book called The Mayan Prophecies to help sharpen my critical thinking...the argument was looking quite good until in the last five pages the author revealed that it was all actually aliens...that was complete rubbish, but I should have expected it.

Soviet Heavy:
You mentioned the black Irish Leper. This pleases him.

By the way, where did you want me to install the multilaser shower head? Should I put it next to the Backflipping Terminator doll?

I've only actually read two books by him, one was the novelisation of the Dawn of War trilogy of games, and by the Emperor do I want to sic a Librarian on his ass for that.

The other was a gods-awful Eldar book... again I'm proud of not remembering the title (though I'm fairly sure it was so banal anyone would forget it), which was so unbelievably boring and ill-paced it took me almost half a dozen chapters to realise that a few characters didn't like each other... eesh.

Renegade-pizza:
READ!!! Nothing your school made you read. The School board knows as much about literature we'd like as much as I want to sacrifice Justin Bieber's soul to whichever supernatural embodyment of evil I can find.

Sorry, I am obliged to quote Terry Pratchett here:

Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book.

With this out of the way, lots of time ago, I read a sci-fi book called ...something like Moon Ranbow or Lunar Rainbow (can't remeber exactly). Well it had two books and I stopped reading halfway through the second one. Because I realised I remembered nothing from what I read so far. This includes the first book. Which I finished the same week. I was just going through these books and absolutely nothing worth remembering was happening. I just left it off. I couldn't be arsed to finish it. I literally had to read everything again and jot down notes to follow the plot. And the plot wasn't even twisted or mysterious.

superbatranger:
Atlas Shrugged. It took me months to finish that tedious load of crap. I thought it would be interesting, but damn, you could use it to put an insomniac to bed.

Fuck, beat me to it.Ignoring the philosophy, I found it incredible dull as a novel.

The Grapes of Wrath. The thing is terrible. It made it's point 10 pages in and then continued to make the same point for near 500 more pages.

The pacing was terrible, the characters flat and what little plot there was was erratic.

Not that they were the worse books I've read but I think that the Dance with Dragons duology are far below the other Song of Ice and Fire books in terms of quality.

SckizoBoy:
Dan Brown - that book that was turned into a film with Tom Hanks... which I'm currently very proud of being unable to remember the title of.

was it "the davinci code" or "angels and demons" by Dan Brown??

Romblen:
Maximum Ride: The Final Warning. It's the fourth in the Maximum Ride series which were for the most part pretty good, although the science was a bit strange at times.

I won't go into detail, but the book is about the main characters having nothing to do, so they go to Antarctica, play with penguins, defeat a brain in a jar(yes, really.) by accident via hurricane, then they talk to Congress about global warming.

Oh, and a talking dog grew wings for absolutely no reason.

AHHHHH GOD! Just... Never mention that book ever again. I had managed to successfully forget it even existed until you came along.

It's like the writer just decided to throw all sembalance of the characters actually behaving in character and just generally making sense to make a really terribly presented statement about global warming and how teh warld is gonna b ruined 4evar by it.

Hmmmm, apart from that there's... Maybe the last few Darren Shan books in the Vampire and Demonata series'? He really seems to have a problem ending a long running series without throwing a "world resets from zero" plot device into it.

That oneshot he did about that executioner? Did anyone read that? Was actually really good I think. He just has to up the stakes to ridiculously high levels in his long running stuff so he can't really end things well without it coming off as Deus Ex Machina levels of contrivance

Anything else? Well I think that the last book in The Night Angel trilogy came close to having a shit ending but somehow managed to end things rather well, all things considered. I could go back and read those again just so I can read 'bout Vi again. I always liked her

Esotera:
Neuromancer by William Gibson...it's hugely influential, coined the term cyberspace, but I literally could not get past the first 20 pages. It's as if it was written by a 5 year old.

I also read some conspiracy book called The Mayan Prophecies to help sharpen my critical thinking...the argument was looking quite good until in the last five pages the author revealed that it was all actually aliens...that was complete rubbish, but I should have expected it.

Oh should I? Well, you kinda asked for it really...

Remember, it's all fun and games until an intriging plot point ends up being...

The Man Who Ate the 747.

It was one of the few summer reading books I actually read, and it was terrible. It's literally about a guy who eats a plane by shredding the pieces into a powder. Dumbest premise ever.

Eragon. I felt unclean after reading it. Completly fucking atrocious.

MarkDavis94:
I read all the Twilight books, because I thought I would read all of them before I start to bad mouth it so I could back it up with examples from the book.

DEAR GOD THEY WERE SHIT. Book number 4? WTF?! Nothing happens!

You are a stronger man than I... I could only through exactly 110 pages of the first Twilight before lobbing it at a wall and immediately rereading The Name of the Wind for the umpteenth time to remind myself that good literature, does in fact exist.

Now if only I would man up and get through the sequel. I don't like it when bad things happen to the main character :(

superbatranger:
Atlas Shrugged. It took me months to finish that tedious load of crap. I thought it would be interesting, but damn, you could use it to put an insomniac to bed.

By reading or by clubbing them over the head with it?

My wife is a fan of David Eddings, so I plowed through the Belgariad books and was simply left with a "Meh" sort of feeling. They were just sort of formulaic and simple for my tastes, but I can see young teens reading them for their first fantasy series and falling in love with them, which is pretty much the case with my wife's familiarity with them.

Me Talk Pretty One day by David Sedaris (I think that's his name?) Absolutely horrible. I was extremely confused the entire time.

trifectagirl:
Me Talk Pretty One day by David Sedaris (I think that's his name?) Absolutely horrible. I was extremely confused the entire time.

I loved it...How was it confusing? It's just a collection of funny short stories.

Any number of recent urban fantasy "novels." Why do I keep trying new ones when most of them are utterly stupid? WHY?!

Oh right, work reduces my brain to mush so I can only comprehend mush on most days. Audio mush. At least I have Joe Abercrombie to keep me company when it gets too bad.

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