Partner trouble, misunderstandings and Just feeling loved

See, this is what I get for having mutiple guilt riddled persecution complexes, social anxiety disorder and then Asking out a girl I like.
Long story short, I asked out this girl I like, she said yeah, and Is my first girlfriend. Ever. And then I start to overthink, and feel like I'm making her unhappy, and that she's just too nice to dump me, and that I'm bad for her, and leaving her would totally kill me but at least she'd get some happiness... (Thats not even going into all the excess stuff brought over when a girl I've been friends with for years claimed she'd fallen for me...)
About an hour ago I finally talked to her about it, and I managed to nearly get myself dumped through bad phrasing and making her think that I wasn't happy, Tears on both sides etc, and eventually she got through my Moron barrier and made me understand that everything I felt for her was resiprocated, and I was just being paranoid, and she's as happy around me as I am around her.
And that just makes me love her all the more.

Misunderstandings can suck, but I'm glad this one worked out Ok.

So, point is, what is the biggest misunderstanding you have ever had with a partner, and/or what do your partners do to make you feel just...great?

(EDIT) I think a lot of you guys misunderstand, there was a problem, now there isn't.... This is where bad phrasing comes into my life and confuses people.

Yours is actually a fairly common one stemming from an even more common issue that is lack of communication.

Talking it out is always the way, if you can't even do that then theres no point being in the relationship :)


Dear Redbird:

I used to have those kinds of worries a lot, and rarely I still have them now, one year into my relationship.

But after a while, I calmed down about it. See, my GF and I basically have an agreement to speak up if anything is bugging us. If she doesn't say anything is up, I now assume everything is fine, and stop going "OMGOMGOMGOMG what is she's not happy?! Am I in the way of her happiness?!"

Also, being worried about that kind of stuff is natural. You really care for her, and don't want to let her down in any way, and since you (probably) have low self esteem, you start to worry that you are an obstacle to her happiness. Well, you aren't. Don't sweat it too much.

Oh, and one more SUPER important thing form my personal experience: If the "butterflies in your stomach" kinds of feelings fade after a few months, DO. NOT. PANIC. That's perfectly normal, and it doesn't mean that your love has faded. DO. NOT. PANIC. It just means that you have "synchronized" with your partner and you no longer feel nervous/anxious around her. It's not a bad thing. It's totally normal, and you shouldn't worry about it. I started to get super worried for a while when I went through that, but a good friend of mine set me straight on it. Since then, my GF and I have continued to do awesome together, no worries.

Finally, congrats on finding a girl who loves you. :)

On my end.....I haven't really had any arguments of stuff with my girlfriend. I mean...I got her legitimately annoyed at me one time due to being TOO concerned for her, but that's it, really.

Certainly a common problem you've got, and I'd wager it's even more common in a forum like this. I have almost no confidence that any girl I have an interest in will actually like my personality , even if they legitimately seem interested in me I just end up feeling like they're going to end up annoyed any time I try to talk to them. Essentially I have no sense of self-worth when it comes to girls I'm interested in, and yet outside of romantic pursuits I'm confident enough to be almost completely honest in any given situation, even if that means insulting the ignorance of people around me. Brains are weird!

captcha: love you

Why the fuck are they always so relevant?!

Yeah I think this is common.

I have massive trust issues and zero confidence in how other people view me. I basically think every hates me on defult, and self fufilling prophecies and all that.

Overthinking is something I do to a massive degree. As soon as I walk into a gig/pub and see a girl I'm attracted to and this happens in my mind:
"she looks nice"
"hahahahaha seriously? because she is probaly not single, has no reason to talk to you, won't find you attractive mr below-average, won't be interested in most of what you do, the things she might you are far to obsessive about and you'll mess up your first impression".

I would go on but I'm not going to hijack this thread to moan about my own problems. Anyway well done on getting past it.

If theyre unhappy im sure theyll let you if you ask but dont ask....hint...hint at it.


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