since theres no way i can top this
1. Eradicate disease
2. Adjust the climate to allow plentiful food to grow everywhere, effectively ending hunger.
3. Raise an island in the Pacific Ocean and populate it with dinosaurs.
4. Manifest myself in some out of the way country like Guatemala wearing an Arsenal jersey, just to mess with theologists/Tottenham supporters.
5. Retire to my house in the middle of Dinosaurland, and ride a triceratops.
6. A series of lightning strikes in Topeka, Kansas, completely destroying the headquarters of the Westboro Baptist Church, and leaving the words "GODDESS IS DISPLEASED WITH YOUR BULLSHIT" in scorched earth. I wouldn't actually kill any of them, but the next time one of them so much as thinks that I "hate fags", lightning bolt to the brain.
i choose in stead to post a song very much relevant to the thread
end world hunger,
rid the world of stupidity by making everyone a genius,
get rid of tyrants
make peaceful protest a better option as apposed to violence
make communism actually work
All right, four part plan is this!:
1. A fucking texture pack! This place looks like hell. Replace ugly photo realism (plain old realism?) with awesome sketchtastic hand drawn-ness and sweet ass water colour lighting and colouring. The world would be so much cooler looking. Everybody needs to experience this.
2. Rule of cool bro. Get those freaking bio luminescent fish flying through the sky! Floating islands? Prime real estate right there. tunnels of water in the air like a big old super highway? We got that too. perspective defying visual art gateways are going to be a must.
3. Time for the fun part! you know how in like X-men or whatever on magneto's paradise everybody's got their own super powers and everybody has a different one and they all live together with their crazy amazing talents and stuff? Well it's going to be like that but not just limited to what you can do but what you are. Everybody gets to play the biological lottery! (if they want, but where would be the fun in not doing that?)
4. I guess world piece and equality blah blah blah if you feel like it. paradise without removing the everyday hardships that make life interesting and worth living.
Aside from preventing apocalypses and saving the world from evil monsters and shit, I'd probably distance myself from the world, attempt to live out a normal life until everyone I know and love dies, and then I'll appear randomly around the world as strangely believable characters that teach select people moral lessons and shit.
I'm a big fan of the "let the humans figure it out" god style.
So one day you're walking down the street and suddenly God appeared right next to you and told you that out of all the people on the planet, you're going to be the new deity of the planet and untold infinite power is yours. What would you do?
XD I love seeing the people pretend they would be kind gods when, in fact, they would probably screw everything up.
Me? Build an entire castle our of Diamond, have thousands of concubines and rez a few great musicians like Beethoven and Mozart to play for me while I have copious amounts of sex. I will be the new Hugh Hefner, just 20% more awesome.
Maybe kill a few hundred thousand people, set the entire continent of Australia ablaze (At least a fire that kills all spiders and renders everything else fine, seriously fuck those things). All in all, I would have:
A.) Fucked up the Ecosystem
B.) Fucked up many minds.
C.1) Created an Entire country of awesome
C.2) Nay, a WORLD of awesome!
D.) Pissed off every last human being on this planet.
Wait... I did this in Minecraft (Minus the Copious amounts of sex with concubines) just yesterday... does this mean I am a God (of the Minecraftian universe?)!?
Technically yes, just the same as anyone who's played The Sims games, and i think every person would do the "copious amount of sex" thing
I probably should've mentioned what i would do:
1. Change the look of the world into anime, which one i havent decided. yes its cliche' but i have one simple reason for doing this: as George Carlin once said about fluorescent lights, have you ever looked at yourself in the miror, i mean REALLY looked at yourself in the mirror with those kinds of lights on? Now imagine at least 5000 people who look 400x worse than you do.
2. Make life "exciting" by throwing in random things across time because this world is boring as golf, again thank you George Carlin. Like say for example, I'll toss in a pterodactyl in ancient china, native americans who can transform into spirit animals like bears and wolves that can pass on that trait to their descendants, people gaining super powers after natural disasters, you know, stuff like that.
3. End poverty. That doesn't mean im making everyone rich just making sure that everyone has a job that can keep a roof over their heads and support a family if they have one so that people don't have to go to soup kitchens just to feed their family.
4. I will select specific people to act as my "avatars", like Damacles the Avatar of Justice, who basically finds criminals and rightly shoves a scythe up their ass before they can commit the act, sharp end first, or Sani the Avatar of Getting Laid who goes to people who sorely need to get laid and conjures up exactly what they need, or Etum, the Avatar of Sound who mutes those who are being douchebags, like those guys that drive around your neighborhood with the bass turned WAY too high that it starts shattering your windows or harley riders.
5. Bring back fruitopia.
6. Make someone discover an electric engine that charges itself while you drive, effectively killing big oil
7. Make it 100x easier for someone to lose weight if they put the effort into it so that instead of it taking 4 years to lose 40 lbs it only takes a month
8. Get rid of current STD's and replace them with new but hilarious ones like compulsive gambling, also getting rid of wisdom teeth/misshapen teeh, acne, moles, ecxzema, cold sores, and anything else that comes to mind as far as health deterrents.
9. Someone already said it but im gonna say it anyway: make pokemon/pokemon technology real.
10. Lastly, make it so that when a person dies and are judged as being a good person in life, they can choose to stay in heaven or be reincarinated in the place and time of their choosing, however if they were a c**t and are sent into hell, punished accordingly, like if a person was a rapist, they get turned into an anime chick and sent to the room of tentacle monsters or if they were a sadist, they are strapped to a chair and forced to listen to all the worst music across history for a certain amount of time.
Get a big purple with gold trim Caddy pimp-mobile with purple leather interior and do donuts in the parking lot of every mega-church, while blasting...
1.Probably be regarded as the new anti-christ
2.destroy dubstep from the universe
3.bring back all the good shows.
4.raise Vladimir Cochet as my high priest and unleash a new reign of nihilism upon the world.
5.continue to totally destroy any semblance of order in the know universe and have fun in the process.
Eradicate all humanity. Fill planet with slutty dressed, intelligent women. Fly about and blow up empty cities for the lulz. For ever.
Then go and create my own solar system, and control everything (Subtly, so no one knows it's me). Then make that end in a massive war.
Then turn myself into a woman and play about in the shower for a bit.
Burn reality to the ground and dance on the ashes
Say "hell no" and keep walking. I wouldn't want that kind of power.
I'd do three things:
1) Make myself a private island in the tropics (probably near Hawaii) with infinite food, water, electricity, internet, etc
2) Retreat to said private island
3) Live exactly as I do now, except without going to work.
Undecided/optional step 4) Give myself a harem of beautiful women to live on said island with me
Edit: Also, if I ever get bored, I may resort to step 5) Fuck around with the laws of physics and/or math so that 1+1=3 or the gravitational constant changes to 6.67300 × 10^11 or something, without changing anything else, especially humanity's current understanding of the universe. Just to see how people react to it.
Id disguise myself as a beggar / homeless and the people that are kindest to me mysteriously win lotto. But then I'd check up on them to see if they are still just as kind. If not their house mysteriously burns to the ground in a manner that isnt covered by their insurance.
I'd also use Shadow Clone Juitsu to make multiple copies of myself so I can canvas the whole planet
End it all, right there. That is all.
If I saw God and he said that. Before he went I would ask if he has made me an angel. If so I would smile and nod and tell him I would make the best of these new powers.
I would then change my form to the Archangel of Lightning so no one knew who this new saviour was.
I would only tell my closest family and friends that I have became this form. Then I would show the world I am it's new protector and capture all Tyrants, most wanted on the planet, lock them in a truck and paralyze them and drive to the White House which I wait for the police, FBI, secret service, the press and the president to arrive and open the door and then announce to the world that I am the Guardian of the Earth.
Then I would proceed to destroy all hunger and disease.
Then announce a message to everyone's brain telling them if they do any bad crimes I will come after them and lock up (or kill them if they deserve it).
Then I will destroy all drugs/cigarettes and the source of them. Then clean the worlds air.
Make a better source of fuel with my own hands that can power ANYTHING.
Then I will disappear off the face of the Earth to my own spaceship which is piloted by millions of angels and is of course invisible and I will appear once more if anyone is committing a crime.
Then I will watch over the Earth at my position for the longest I can.
Only I can dream that I can make this happen.
Then I would proceed to go to my room in the spaceship which also serves as a watch room for my entertainment. Then I will make a teleport room to go to my universe which is a room that will take my to any anime's universe. and I would make another universe which is like the first perfect world but make it anime.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Use my infinite power to create agents to act in my name, each with enough power to handle a single aspect of the universe, then rig up a little pocket dimension to live in and watch my little helper-monkeys get things done. Oh and track down a old girlfriend or two and... that train of thought shouldn't be finished. Use your imaginations people, its better than anything I can write.
Other than that I would probably track down everyone on my... shit-list and show them how having a angry immortal after you isn't the best situation. Probably by throwing them into a infinite time-loop of their own deaths... and with just enough memory of the last time staying so that it is deja vu.
After that i spend a few hundred years chilling out, enjoying whatever you wonderful little mortals come up with and making you all my own personal reality TV Show... emphasis on the reality, then go create something around Alpha Centari so you have something to see when you inevitably visit, maybe even make it carbon-based and have the same basic DNA as you for added laughs.
Then go back for a few hundred years and enjoy the religious nuts who still think the old management is in charge. Don't worry, if any of them get out of control I will just send my personal Grim Reaper to execute them, get arrested, then get killed mysteriously in prison leaving behind a body, and stick their brain in a new one. Of if any of them start killing people in the name of that last guy to be in office.
Of course immortality get boring unless you use the perks of the job, messing with mortals of course, so I would probably start leaving clues to prove my existence, and make sure to send someone to sabotage any efforts to connect the dots. Basically I will turn into The Watcher, keeping a eye on you guys, giving a few nudges, and letting my agents do all the heavy lifting while I am off designing silicon-based-life.
Eventually I will probably get bored enough with this whole "indirect only" and begin to actually show up in person. You know a minor miracle here, a plauge of vermin on that city there, and eventually up to earth-quakes near Topeka. Of course I might also just go make a few more alien races and give them you mortal's technology. Wait a few thousand years for them to reverse-engineer it... hopefuly...
And before the Aliens i will probably drop by and nudge you along towards learning to control Dark Energy... just for fun.
Now wait until my seventh mellinium in charge when I decide to implement the Reapers... or Vampires... or maybe have a few Titans show up for you to duke it out with. Just so I have something to watch. What, I get to have fun too. It just comes at the expence of some mortals which... oh yeah i came from you guys didn't I?
Sorry about the putting you through conflict, I learned how to manage a universe from being a author. Torture your darlings people, torture them! Put them through hell just to see them grow and turn into badasses, or have a psychotic episode.
OOOH! theres something to do, implement Sheogorath and the Shivering Isles into reality... Wont that be fun! Maybe throw Azura into the mix, feed her some information to give to you. Slowly turn your planet into a high-tech Skyrim.
After that I will probably enter a clasical period. Throw some Olympians at you. You ever hear of Kronos? Well you are getting him, Atlas, Typhon, everyone I can come up with to fight you. After that I might just leave some Olympians in charge of your planet for a few years, you know for more fun. I will depose them soon enough tho, maybe pull the Immortals from my in-progress novel out to manage things while I sit up in my little pocket-dimension and watch you mortals scurry about as the Immortals become corrupt and greedy little things and require me to step in and speed-evolve you into their replacements. After that I would probably sit back while you guys pull the whole demi-gods act and make your own life-forms and go through all this yourselves.
Or I will just take ideas from your pop-culture and turn the universe into bad fan-fiction.
Yes that might just do...
The first three things of what I'd do in order:
1. Make Pokemon real
2. See if it's actually possible to create an object that is so heavy that even with my unfathomable powers, I cannot lift it.
3. Save humanity
You should probably do that second one last, you can't save humanity if you're trapped under a boulder.
I would appear to every human on earth (i can do this, I am god), and tell them every religion is wrong, that I am god, that they are not allowed to worship me, and that there is only one commandment...don't be an asshole.
Then I say we have to get our shit together and get out to space.
Then I rearrange space a bit so it's a bit cooler (There is more life, planets are closer together, there are now planets full of pokemon and other juicy stuff).
Then I chill
I would make a giant gold island/tower in the middle of the pacafic and declare myself warlock of the world. Then let everybody mine it and screw up the world's gold prices. After that I would probably try to make the world a better place.
I'd tell him "Thanks, but no thanks."
No seriously. I'm not interested in that kind of responsibility. I'd give him some pointers (because no Woman could fuck shit up this bad) and send him on his merry way. But I guess the reason he'd choose me is because I'm the guy who'd turn him down. But then again realizing that would make me a less viable candidate, because I dislike being used.
... what are we talking about?