Favorite Conspiracy Theories?

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Chairman Miaow:
I never understood things like this... I mean, the scientists working on it basically said, no, that will never happen "it is impossible for microscopic black holes to be produced at the LHC." and yet these people with no scientific knowledge beyond "gravity exists" started yelling about black holes and that we were all going to die.

Actually they hoped micro blackholes would come into existance, they just evaoprate faster than they suck mass in, Hawkins radiation.

I dunno. All of them? Illuminati, alien lizards, faked moon landing, chemicals in the water/sky, flat earth society, the (Freemasons?)

Boris Goodenough:

Chairman Miaow:
I never understood things like this... I mean, the scientists working on it basically said, no, that will never happen "it is impossible for microscopic black holes to be produced at the LHC." and yet these people with no scientific knowledge beyond "gravity exists" started yelling about black holes and that we were all going to die.

Actually they hoped micro blackholes would come into existance, they just evaoprate faster than they suck mass in, Hawkins radiation.

According to the European Organisation for Nuclear Research, it was generally agreed to be impossible according to modern physics but there were speculative theories about what you said would happen.

Chairman Miaow:

According to the European Organisation for Nuclear Research, it was generally agreed to be impossible according to modern physics but there were speculative theories about what you said would happen.

Well, I said hoped, as I remember it they require full power on the LHC to reach theoretical levels, but some American collider had seen some weird results that could have been black holes. But yeah...

Boris Goodenough:

Chairman Miaow:

According to the European Organisation for Nuclear Research, it was generally agreed to be impossible according to modern physics but there were speculative theories about what you said would happen.

Well, I said hoped, as I remember it they require full power on the LHC to reach theoretical levels, but some American collider had seen some weird results that could have been black holes. But yeah...

Well, I've just been on their site reading about it and in one of their experiments they are trying to recreate the conditions of the big bang, so I suppose it's not too unbelievable that they were doing something world ending.

Freezy_Breezy:

Anoni Mus:
No one replied to your posts yet. That's sad, I guess no one can debate it.

Where you from? If you don't mind saying.

*shrugs* there's not really much to say, I suppose. It's just kinda disturbing stuff.

I'm from Australia. I'm not entirely sure we even have a CIA equivalent. We have ASIO, but I think that's more akin to the FBI...

its cia/fbi/nsa all rolled into one

the aliens built the pyramids is one that gets me. its always a case of people being too arrogant to imagine ancient people were in many ways more intelligent and creative than today in certain regards

Gotta love the reptilians. They're my favourite for sure. My dad wouldn't even believe me when I told him that some people believe it for real.

lettucethesallad:
Gotta love the reptilians. They're my favourite for sure. My dad wouldn't even believe me when I told him that some people believe it for real.

One thing I don't understand about those alien reptilians is that they apparently are reptilians. I mean wouldn't it be required to be terrestrial to come from the animal group (or genus or phylum or whatever) reptiles to call itself a reptilian?

That FDR knew that Pearl Harbour was going to be attacked, but let it happen because he'd use it to bring the USA into WWII.

On one level it's plausible - Roosevelt was barely 'neutral' to begin with but the american people did not want to enter the war. That said, it's been quite widely discredited in more recent years.

nikki191:

Freezy_Breezy:

Anoni Mus:
No one replied to your posts yet. That's sad, I guess no one can debate it.

Where you from? If you don't mind saying.

*shrugs* there's not really much to say, I suppose. It's just kinda disturbing stuff.

I'm from Australia. I'm not entirely sure we even have a CIA equivalent. We have ASIO, but I think that's more akin to the FBI...

its cia/fbi/nsa all rolled into one

the aliens built the pyramids is one that gets me. its always a case of people being too arrogant to imagine ancient people were in many ways more intelligent and creative than today in certain regards

It's the racism that gets me with that. You know, Aztecs and Arabs couldn't ever build buildings of wonder, it had to be aliens!

My favorite conspiracy theory is Conduit 2. Not something FROM it, but the whole game.
Ships disappear in the Bermuda triangle because they're eaten by a giant mechanical sea serpent. The necronomicon is an instruction book on how to build Conduits. Chinese Earthquake machines were made with the assistance of aliens that have been on earth for hundreds of years.

If you all knew the horrifying truth about aglets (plastic ends on shoe laces), then it would be the end of everyone and everything in the universe.

bahumat42:


bwahahahahaha

Gets me everytime that somebody doesn't get the simple scientific principles :D

image

How it the world do you not understand this? Like seriously it's pretty basic shit.

OT: I generally avoid conspiracy theories, being in high school I get to see enough ignorance on a daily basis. Although Microsoft trying to influence the election with the Halo 4 release is pretty dumb.

gigastrike:
My favorite:

The Large Hadron Collider was an attempt by the followers of Satan to burn a hole in the Earth's magnetosphere, creating a portal to Hell that would allow Satan to conquer the world. The Ancients knew this would happen (being beings of supreme omnipotence who can see thousands of years into the future and account for technology that didn't exist at the time), so they created structures across the planet in the form of pyramids. So, when the followers of Satan activate the Large Hadron Collider, all we have to do is take the mummy of an Egyptian pharaoh and place it in the lost "tomb of the builder". This will cause the pyramids to fire laser beams at the sky, buffing the magnetosphere and thwarting Satan's plans.

If that isn't already a comic... it fucking well should be.

Guffe:
Halo4 release date theory

Uh... what? I haven't heard that at all.

OT: Lizard people, moon landing being fake, TimeCube and 9/11 being an inside job.
I find it hilarious that people actually 'find' 'proof' of these things.
Plus, I could probably do a better job than them.

The Liberal Media. Basically the idea that the media is controled by liberals and is used to further their agendas.

Protip: you'll find more Conservitive agenda pushing in the media than liberal... and that not even counting Fox news.

Ben MacGougan:
Also, all this talk of evolution. Descended from monkeys? Crazy

*Rolls up newspaper and hits MacGougan's wrist*

No! Bad MacGougan! We do not bring up well documented theories with actual peer reviewed and tested evidence and say they are conspiracies.

You can choose not to believe in it if you want to but I will not have you inciting a flame war on this.

Any conspiracy that involves the government being extremely efficient and keeping every single person involved quiet for years on end.

I also love the "government is going to come take our guns." As a veteran, I feel pretty secure saying the generally gun-loving troops would probably refuse orders to carry out such a seizure. While I only know a few cops, most of them would do the same. Any group at all that tried it would probably face a very high casualty rate from resisters. Almost every person I know who actually works for the government is strongly in favor of gun ownership and would absolutely refuse to carry out orders that involved them taking away others' guns.

And yet... "the government is going to come take our guns away!"

I don't really count creationism as a conspiracy theory. I guess it could be the conspiracy that God created all kinds of evidence for an old universe to trick us. But really, I just see it as either willful ignorance or home-schooled ignorance.

Animal 57

One of the stupidest ones I saw was on this website that did a whole massive videos series on supposed conspiracy theories that was actually just a bunch anti-zionist, Starbucks is financing Israel's attempt to take over the world bullshit, an it showed a bunch of buildings in capital cities and said they are all designed in certain shapes so they channel some kind of energy throughout the world.

oh and it had one series of videos showing how apparently all cartoon characters are designed by first drawing a penis, then adding more shapes till it looks like a person.

oh here they are

Nutfucks think the Antichrist called 'Dajjal' is coming any time soon.

The idea of ancient aliens is ridiculous and racist and all those other things...But I have to admit, it's pretty fun.

There's a big part of me that loves mysteries and clues and piecing everything together, so I have fun reading about those silly ideas even though I'm fully aware that they're bullshit.

EmperorSubcutaneous:
The idea of ancient aliens is ridiculous and racist and all those other things...But I have to admit, it's pretty fun.

There's a big part of me that loves mysteries and clues and piecing everything together, so I have fun reading about those silly ideas even though I'm fully aware that they're bullshit.

That's why my answer was Conduit 2.

THE JEWS CONTROL EVERYTHING. That one never gets old. :D
Other than that, anything from creepypasta is really good, but scary as SHIT. Not that I believe, it, but... Still!

I like this website:
http://theoriesofconspiracy.com/category/guest-theorists/timothy-chilman
Conspiracy theories covered include the sex life of Adolf Hitler, the transvestism of J. Edgar Hoover, the U.S. plan to conquer Canada, the prospects for a coup in Greece, Michael Jackson conspiracy theories, what's really in the Kama Sutra, how the character of Jesus was gay, how we can be sure Jesus never existed, an unflattering critique of the U.S. military, how Prince William is the anti-Christ, and the coups that were planned for the United States in 1933 and the United Kingdom in 1975.

usmarine4160:
9/11 was an inside job!

It's great that some people have that much faith in our government but I worked for those people, so it's wonderful that you think our government is competent enough to actually pull something of that magnitude off but you need to tone it down a little :P

Actually when it comes to 9/11 there are a few holes in the official report and I haven't heard about the reason behind the attack. If you want to I can explain one of the decent ideas behind some it. Really, it can be explained by simple chemistry, but the official report was rushed out and emphasized damage and casualties.

Still I doubt it was an inside job and thinking so is pretty stupid. My reasoning for it not being an inside job:
Some member of the terror group are claimed (not sure if it's been proven) to have been trained by the CIA. Now why would they use people that could be linked to the government when creating a fake attack?
Bush wanted a reason to go to war against Iraq. In that case why didn't he hire someone from Iraq to do his dirty work? Or at least supply them with fake passports claiming they were from Iraq?

You can say a lot about the leaders in the American government, but I don't think they would leave a trail you could follow back to them this easily. If it was an inside job, they would have done it a lot better.

Freezy_Breezy:
That the CIA was secretly experimenting on human civilians and attempting to develop mind control technology!

Oh, wait...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MK_ULTRA
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Artichoke

Well, maybe the one where the CIA infiltrated political and civil rights organisations to bring them down from the inside!

Oh, wait...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/COINTELPRO

I guess the one where the CIA was going to pretend to attack American civilians to start a war with Cuba?

Oh, wait...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Northwoods

Seriously, how the fuck does anyone in the US feel safe? I fail to see how "The government did 9/11" is such a stretch.

And this is what's been declassified.

There's a lot of shady things in the past, but I doubt that we really know the whiff of it. 9/11 isn't a stretch, it's just not probable to be an inside job. It seems too random compared to the sick things you can expect from CIA and COINTELPRO.

I am guessing there's a lot of dirt on almost every big government, like the English police shooting people claiming they were IRA when they weren't (When when this was proven wrong the lawyer on the case was killed and the case appealed).

Chairman Miaow:

Darth Carr:
That Half life 3 will be released in our lifetimes.

In all seriousness, the LHC making a black hole big enough to swallow up the world. There were actually posters posted around my school warning us of the inevitable end, then everyone screaming about it looked like dumbasses when it happened.

I never understood things like this... I mean, the scientists working on it basically said, no, that will never happen "it is impossible for microscopic black holes to be produced at the LHC." and yet these people with no scientific knowledge beyond "gravity exists" started yelling about black holes and that we were all going to die.

Lets be honest though we actually do have no idea what the possible consequences of doing things like this could be.The universe is so vast we will never understand it well enough to be certain about anything we can only base our predictions on what has worked so far but eventually every scientific theory is proved wrong or incomplete.That's not to say that the theorists had any reason,logic or evidence to back their claims just that we can never be sure what could happen next.

UFO cover-ups amuse the hell out of me. Especially whenever the person reporting the UFO is visited by the supposed "men in black."

The ones that make me laugh the most are the ones where people report that the "men in black" that visit them, claiming to be government agents, behave and speak oddly while displaying curiosity about otherwise ordinary household objects - implying that the "men in black" themselves are actually aliens.

I've heard that the G-Man from Half-Life is at least in part based on these sorts of "men in black."

thelonewolf266:

Chairman Miaow:

Darth Carr:
That Half life 3 will be released in our lifetimes.

In all seriousness, the LHC making a black hole big enough to swallow up the world. There were actually posters posted around my school warning us of the inevitable end, then everyone screaming about it looked like dumbasses when it happened.

I never understood things like this... I mean, the scientists working on it basically said, no, that will never happen "it is impossible for microscopic black holes to be produced at the LHC." and yet these people with no scientific knowledge beyond "gravity exists" started yelling about black holes and that we were all going to die.

Lets be honest though we actually do have no idea what the possible consequences of doing things like this could be.The universe is so vast we will never understand it well enough to be certain about anything we can only base our predictions on what has worked so far but eventually every scientific theory is proved wrong or incomplete.That's not to say that the theorists had any reason,logic or evidence to back their claims just that we can never be sure what could happen next.

In that case you actually have no idea what the possible consequences of doing anything are, so you might as well do everything possible, who knows, maybe something amazing will happen.

This topic reminds me of a good conspiracy theory I heard awhile back. (by "good", I mean hilarious)

Some guy I knew claimed that car companies and the oil industry were in cahoots, purposefully manufacturing their cars to be as fuel-inefficient as possible, to drive up gas prices.

He claimed to know this because a friend of his (whom I never met, go figure) bought a new car, and mysteriously, it barely used ANY gas at all to function. When he reported it to the dealership, they took the car away, and gave him a free car every year to keep him quiet.

The theory that the government of Greene County, Virginia is actively trying to stop Chris-Chan from getting laid.

New World Order is fun, too.

I like a lot of the cartoon CTs and, fan theories honestly. Like how Ed Edd n' Eddy was actually set in Purgatory...

Even though there is a disclaimer saying it was made for fun and the creator doesn't believe it personally, it would explain away the weirdness of the show.

I also like the Polybius theory even if it is a load of bunk.

The one about the Californian who doesn't know about light refraction made me laugh out loud. I love stupid people and in fact believe that they aren't people at all but failed AI experiments perpetrated by a joint effort between Japanese, American and, Neptunian scientists trying to make the ultimate reality TV show.

That game journalists take bribes. And just like other conspiracy theories, a damn lot of people have started to honestly believe it.

Isn't every religion a big conspiracy created to control the people?

FilipJPhry:
Well, this isn't exactly a conspiracy, but a myth: The chupacabra. I like the different takes on it from a crap-load of tv-shows and comics. My favorite one is probably the Simpsons Comics version:

Dude, I've seen a chupacabre. No joke.

Its close.

In first place, my favourite conspiracy theory is "9/11 was an inside job!!!11!eleven". Along with having no evidence to back up this theory (Cue people finding "Evidence") that stands up for any significant period of time, most conspiracy theorists ignore the largest hole in this theory.

If the CIA/FBI/FEMA/Bush/Illuminati wanted to stage a terrorist attack that would drag America into a war they could have done so in a manner which would not utterly fuck the economy. Blow up a few preschools, bump off a minor politician nobody likes and stage an attempt on the presidents life, live on camera. All of the above options would have provided the same flimsy justifications for war WITHOUT costing billions.

Although I love the 9/11 theories the most (In sheer levels of insanity) I also despise them. 5,000+ (Cba googling the exact amount, it will make me sad(er) anyway) died. Let it go. Let them rest in peace. Fuck off with your dumbass "But an eyewitness who has since apologised for his statement and stated that what he said was taken out of context stated that it looked like a controlled demolition" or "But that video I watched on youtube pointed out the following facts which have since been refuted in major engineering journals!". (For the record I am not American. I just know quite a lot of Americans and I do not find terrorism funny.Had my father made a different choice on the morning of the 15 June 1996, I probably would have died, age 4, with a piece of glass sticking out of my brain. Terrorism and conspiracy theories are not welcome bedfellows.)

In a close second place, "The moon landing was faked in Hollywood!".

Again, one of the largest holes in this theory is one that is ignored.

IF it had been faked Armstrong would not have got his lines wrong. Perhaps one of the most iconic moments in human history and its poster boy gets his lines wrong? Seriously?

If it had been faked, the entire scene would have been pre-recorded. And they would have done more than one take. To get his lines right.

*random realisation*

Has anyone else realised how... American conspiracy theories are?

Seriously.

I have never come accross a theory about the IRA secretly being the Iluminati/MI5/CIA/Someblokecalleddave and they bombed the fuck out of the UK for years.

Area 51 has some pretty interstin ones

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