If you could go back and tell your teenage self one piece of advice...

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I'm talking high school-age here. Anyways, pretty self explanatory; keep it short, and NO, YOU CANNOT TELL THEM TO INVEST IN APPLE or some crap like that.

For myself, I'm still in high school, so I would tell my middle school self this:
1. Metallica isn't going to get better, appreciate Kill Em All-The Black Album because it only gets worse from here...
2. My Chemical Romance sucks, grow the f*** up and get into more metal and other good stuff instead of learning the lyrics to Na Na Na(Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na).
3. She's pretty right now, but you're friendzoned for life and she gets uglier later. Deal with it.


Captcha: hobby-horse

Apparently horses like to knit or something.

Ask. Her. Out.

Wait? one piece? Uh...shit...wait...um...you know what? I'm going to go with that.

You're lactose intolerant, Sam. So when you lose a ton of weight and are sick all the time, try and eat healthy afterwards so you don't put it all back on. Also - all girls ages 12-25 need to be slapped repeatedly, we're all assholes. Don't take it personally. Most of them will be miserable single mothers or divorced in 15 years. Don't take shit from anyone. And stop being shy, ffs. Doesn't do any good.

Edit: teenage girls need all the advice they can get. And a smack upside the head.

After you drop out of college DO NOT lock yourself in your room for over a year, go get a job, go do something. Don't do that to yourself, the severe misery isn't worth it and is just a waste of time and please try to be less shy..

Pull your head out of your ass, you slacker.

You will meet a lass on August 13th 1997 .... do not tell her that you would love to fuck her mum, it will not go down well and we can do without that kick to ye olde bollocks that comes afterwards.

Stop being an angry anti-social prick you fat fucking (racist expletive).

OP, my captcha is hobby-horse as well...

grow a spine and stop caring...about EVERYTHING right now

and do your damn homework

I'd tell him to work out.

I would tell myself to stop being such a pessimistic bitch and get over it.

Also, when a guy smiles at you, the proper response is to smile back, not give him a weird look and go back to reading. No one likes that, it's rather rude.

When you get asked to parties go. Isolating yourself on purpose is not cool but rather something a twat would do. Generally socialize.

grow a spine and stop caring...about EVERYTHING right now

and do your damn homework

So much this . Also , go work out and you will get laid , periode.

grow a spine and stop caring...about EVERYTHING right now

and do your damn homework

Wouldn't doing homework involve caring?

OT: "Don't ask her out, dude. More trouble than it's worth."

Everything stated in this video. He's so damn good. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HSjsLVYMA4

Old Me- Like to know why your not carrying around that switchblade your friend got you?

New Me- Everytime I think about it, I am already in public.

Old Me- Know people don't fight fair anymore, if you do get into trouble, it's going to be 4 on 1.

New Me- Know you got a point there, people are pussies nowadays.

Old Me- Yeah so the next time a group of thugs go for your wallet, give em a little knife love, they don't deserve to live anyways.

Calm Down. Honour is not always at the end of a fist.

"Don't start smoking three years from now. Cause quitting it nine years from now is going to be a pain."

Join theater as a freshman. You can get SSL hours for it and it's actually something you'll enjoy.

Study chemistry because about a decade later you will have to learn chemistry for real and you will mistake an atom for an alien solar system and everyone will laugh at you.

Don't go to the party at your friends house.
Narrowed down everything that went wrong in my life to that party.

Keep writing. Every day. And do other creative stuff too, like dance and painting. You keep feeling like you're bad at it, but that's only because you don't practice. So stop being an idiot or you'll be miserable and uncreative for the rest of your life.

Captcha: hobby-horse

Apparently horses like to knit or something.

Behold: this is a hobby horse.

Well, It'd probably look something this:
Since I am my teenage self.

There's always more girls out there. Just...good luck finding ones that like games and comedy as much as you do.

Your going to meet someone in a game and think she's all that and great.

Save yourself.

Don't go near her.

Mental Patient.

Dude, she totally wants you. Now go over there and get to BANGING! And don't pay attention when she starts screaming "No!" Everything will work out fine. Trust me.

I'm assuming that this action would create a parallel universe and that it would have no effect on my life at all. Yes, I'm such an asshole that I would ruin my own life. Because that asshole deserves it.

take up stuff like singing, dancing and gymnastics that when i was 12-13 i thought girly but now wish i could do.

Let me age another ten or twenty years and I'll get back to you on that.

For the love of all that is holy, calm the fuck down you hyper active faggot. You can have fun and still be calm. Plus, getting angry and trying to be aggressive does not work. It makes you look stupid. Listen to dad and start working out with him. I'm currently in decent condition but if you get to work a now, maybe every few days and begin to build a pattern, you won't need to try intimidation tactics, if it ever comes to it. Oh and you demand to get speech classes and your eyes checked. We need glasses and need to learn how to pronounce our -er's.

I'm still trying to work out the whole name issue, so there's nothing you can do but roll with the punches for now. Speaking of punches, beat the shit out of Tameric or however that horsed-face faggot's name was spelled. Don't hesitate, just beat the living shit out of him. Get some teachers on your side, the bus driver of course, and then destroy him. After that, just ride the wave. Don't try to communicate with the bastards, it's not worth it. Stick to your group of friends and don't draw unnecessary attention to yourself.

Oh, and ignore the whole existential phase. It's not worth it. However, feel free to reflect on your choices and actions BEFORE you enact them. And as for the whole suicide thing...you're not gonna do it. You're never gonna do it. You might as well get over that hump now. Get more games for the PS2 and stop our brother from either selling them or throwing them into the words. Yes, throwing them into the woods, even Ratchet and Clank...stupid fucker.

Which reminds me, stay the fuck away from internet porn. It starts out with a few pictures of boobs but the next thing you know...just pace yourself, please. And don't download anything onto the computer, don't bother arguing on Youtube, don't try to seem intelligent on Youtbe, it's a lost cause. Oh and don't pick robotics for Sophomore year just because your "buddy" Jacob Wingo is taking it. If you've heeded my earlier warnings, you probably won't need to follow him so much. Besides, he ends up being home schooled.

Make sure you get the right gifted classes. Yes, you'll have to read over the Summer and do notes but you like reading and you'll be ready for AP classes. Don't take Graphics and Design,, and make sure you start learning German Freshman year. Oh and whatever you do, make sure you talk to Megan Harris at some point. If you've followed any of my earlier advice, you should be able to find some parallels and speak with her without sounding like a creep.

Also, you should study. Like a boss. Mrs.Blanketship gives great notes but they're useless unless you study them. Oh, AND STAY OFF THE INTERNET A BIT LESS! Seriously, it'll become a problem.

Looking back, I realized I made a lot of mistakes in life...maybe I should just go back and tell my younger self to kill himself, all things considered.

Edit: And I should probably try to watch a few more movies...and record every cartoon while you can, because they disappear man! Yes, the future is horrible.

And try to keep your creativity up! Life get's really boring without it...and manage your money better, or at least if you actually get the rare chance to hold money.

She may have a great rack, but good God, man! Get the hell out! Leave and never look back!

Be up front with your feelings in regards to the girl, she feels the same way...cheer the hell up, and for god sakes, don't ignore the advice of your elders.

One last thing; What ever you do, don't- *time portal evaporates* D:

Do not. Get on. The ATV. It will end badly and you will still have the scar years later

"Seriously, man, you'll get addicted to lifting weights. Try asking the trainers to make you a program, that's what they're there for. It'll make your future self REEEEEALLY happy!"

"Buy stock in Google on their IPO."

You're smart, but if you don't study, you'll lose it. For the love of God, please keep studying. I know High School is really easy. College is a much different experience. It's way more competitive and you're sleeping and passing thing isn't possible here.

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