Have you ever dated someone just to not be single? Pages PREV 1 2 3 NEXT | |
I never called you a dishonest jerk, just mentioned I would feel dishonest in that situation. If you think its a good reason then go for it I guess, but I wouldn't be so dismissive of people who start out infatuated, there's certainly nothing wrong with that either. Many relationships end because someone doesn't feel for the other person anymore, but I dont know that many that end because they didn't really feel much for them in the first place. If you go into a relationship and fall in love and everything works out then yay, but it would suck if you started dating and pretty soon had to do a U-turn because you don't really like her like that. | |
Most of my relationships are like that, and the serious ones tended to last. I haven't dated anyone in several years as I don't currently have the time thanks to uni, but would probably date someone just for the hell of it after finishing there. | |
Oh I know, I wasn't trying to put words in your mouth, I was just go with the natural picture that I'm imagining is painted in some people's minds. Also, I'm not being dismissive, just playing out another, more common, scenario (though generally people who base their relationships on nothing but infatuation, i.e. young people, are statistically more likely to fail miserably). Also, you're right, it would suck, but it would be no worse than the other scenario, so where the added risk comes in I don't know. | |
Umineko doesn't require that much PC power to run, Hell you could use a shitty laptop and it should still work. The only Umineko game that would require a somewhat decent PC would the spin off fighting game. So there should be nothing stoping you from playing it. ...What are you waiting for?! GET IT! NOAW! OT: Since I am not really that experinced in this I shouldn't really give you any advice. I am just typing this just to not totally go off topic. Go for it? As long as you inform that you aren't head over heels about her and that you think that it can lead to something greater. Captcha: Cut the mustard....WTF? | |
I've been on the edge a few times but I could never bring myself to ask out someone I don't really like, no matter how much i wanted companionship. | |
Yup, it didn't end well at all. | |
It's not worth the headache. Although, if she's a good friend, it may work out. I dated a girl I despised. She was stupid, petty, and not even attractive to me. Horrible idea. Weigh the pros and cons before diving in. | |
No. I tend to be single, not solely because I am comfortable with it, but also because I haven't found some meaningful enough to be in a relationship with. | |
Ehh, in like sixth and seventh grade where I didn't really understand the concept yet. But in all honesty, I don't think that really counts. So... no. I've jumped into a few relationships half-heartedly, but never because I was looking to fill a gap. | |
No, that's called 'using someone' over here.. | |
no whats so great about a relationship? I mean ok yes I get it...but being single is fine, I'm a bit of a solitary person so it works for me lack of sex is annoying though but thats par for the coarse I supose anyway I wouldn't be with somone unless I actually wanted too..Im not so insecure I need somone else to be attathed to to validate my existance | |
You might as well give it a try, she might surprise you. Don't stay with her just for the sake of it though, that's kind of a dick move. | |
I was under the impression that almost every girl does this especially in High school. | |
actually, you do need some form of attachment to other people to validate your existence. Just spend a month in solitary confinement and you'll know what I'm talking about. Or just watch Castaway. Regardless, this isn't a case of validation, it's about gaining life experience and companionship. Feeling as though you don't need those things isn't really a sign of strength, just different priorities. | |
Yeah, go for it. Worst that happens is you both have a new experience to better prepare you for the future. Best that happens is that you get exactly what you want out of the relationship. You might end up destroying her emotionally but I wouldn't worry about that, someone eventually will if she's that fragile. As long as you can live with it then I wish you all the best in your new shitty relationship! | |
How would I have less of a chance to end up destroying her emotionally if I somehow liked her lots and then got bored later? Also, I don't think people's initial feelings really determine the quality of a relationship, so preemptively calling it a shitty one sounds presumptuous. | |
you know that's not what I ment I'm talking about the kind of people that need to be chanied to somone, and not in the healthy way...in the clingly/I rely on you for all my happyness way thats not where my priorites are right now, that may change, but right now..... "I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one" | |
haha, well I didn't know you swung that way :P Seriously though, being dependent on someone in that way isn't healthy, but that's really not what's happening here. I've been in enough relationships to distinguish, I'd like to think. | |
I think the word you are looking for is "interaction", not "attachment".
Well, "life experience" is a redundant justification simply because it applies to everything equally. Trying it gives you some. Not trying it also gives you some. Companionship I can understand, but you should seek that in a person, not in your relationship to them. Being alone sucks, I know, but being in a relationship doesn't automatically mean you're not alone anymore. As for your question; it's up to you, really. I wouldn't try it myself because I think it'd, for me, end up as more of a hassle than its worth. | |
haha..no I don't (as far as I know anyhow).... I'm just saying, if somone thinks that being single is a "failure state" and can't bear the thourght so they always have to be in a relationship...like they are "half" a person..if that makes sense not that I would know, some people just desire companioship more than otehrs..theres a differce | |
I have been in that situation twice in one year OP. I couldn't bring myself to date either of them and I'm still not sure whether or not that was a mistake. One of them in particular was probably one of the coolest girls I've known. And she was hot too. I just wasn't attracted to her. But what you might also like to know is that I've never had a relationship. I've been with girls, but I've never dated. And to be honest, I'd like to, I just never ask anyone out. And it's not the fear of rejection, it's the fear of me hating it like 2 weeks in and wanting to break it off. | |
Probably just me, but I would see if she's interested in you in that way first. Maybe, she just likes your company and it not looking to go any further than that. If she likes you that way, and both of you get closer than normal people should, then make a move. I would not do it because you don't like being single. | |
There's a chance that dating her will make it develop into something more. It's totally possible. That said, it's far more likely that it'll end up being just a sexual release, and one of you will get hurt. I have experienced this on both sides first-hand. It's your call. | |
Have you fucked anyone since your last girlfriend? If not, don't kid yourself. This is probably a rebound. Just take her out and maybe hook up with her, but don't be exclusive or anything ridiculous like that. 90% of my friends all just hop into exclusive relationships the second they start seeing someone. Are you ready to get married? No? Then go out, have fun, and see anyone you want. The only other option WILL end in disaster. ... BTW if you are in high school/early college, none of this applies and you and her have about a 5% success rate of not hating each other come 6 months from now. | |
Both are true, really. While people need interaction, most need to feel attached to the world and people in some way, not like you're a barely visble ghost. People can feel extremely alone and isolated even when they have interaction. It's emotional intimacy of sorts that they crave, not just waving on the street and "paper or plastic?". You're right though, people tend to go crazy from lack of interaction as opposed to attachment. Now, as to life experience, clearly I was saying that you get specific life experiences from relationships. It's like sex. If you never have sex you're going to probably suck at it. Same goes for relationships. There are certain things you can prepare for just with basic knowledge, but you generally need actual experience as well. Finally, obviously one finds companionship in people, not ideas. I've already fleshed out my motivations in this thread well enough to where this statement isn't really needed. However, I can see how the thread title is poorly worded so oh well. | |
I stopped reading after "I'm rebounding if I haven't fucked anyone since my last GF". Unlike you and most other guys, I don't need sex at all. That's not condescending, btw, that's just how I am. | |
Same goes for being single. It shows in this case, if I may be so bold. Someone doesn't have experience with being single, sucks at it, and tries to escape to more comfortable waters. I find it rather intriguing that you used sex as an example, though. 'specially since from my experience, whether or not sex is good depends on a lot more than just whether or not you're good at it. | |
Yeah, it didn't last that long. It didn't blow up in my face or anything, but I never felt really into it. We ended up going back to being friends, although I'd probably say the whole thing was a net loss to our relationship (as friends). | |
I've been single for over 2 years. I've been fine that entire time. I've now decided it's time that I get some experience and companionship at this point in my life. Sorry bro, but your presumptions are wrong. Also, what? Other than the factors of physical compatibility and emotional intimacy, if the sex is bad it's generally because someone isn't very good in the sack. I don't know what you're basing your views on, but they seem a bit odd. Anyway, replace sex with basketball and you get the same basic idea (even though hoops generally don't all behave a bit differently). | |
Reading comprehension? And as I said, it's up to you, why do you feel the need to defend your position when I am not even attacking it or saying you're doing it wrong? I just said it's not what I'd do myself; and that "experience" applies to everything you do or don't do. You're going to gain life experience either way if you're not exactly comatose. | |
Why would you stop reading? That's pretty ignorant and kind of mean dude. I'm giving you advice from the perspective of someone who knows A LOT about the subject of dating. I am a HUGE womanizer (call me a man slut if you like), however that does not mean I don't fall in love ever or anything. I may spend a lot of time making sure I look nice and might be a little over-confident around women, but I'm not an asshole and I'm genuinely trying to help you here. I've been through what you've been through a good 2 dozen times and I know what's up. Take my advice or not, but at least give me the respect to read it. Don't misquote me, please. I said it's probably a rebound. I've had a rebound that lasted 6 months and I thought it was love for a good 3 of them. It may very well not be, but just be careful with that shit. You can spawn a rebound relationship and both end up really messed up. Also, a rebound isn't just sex. It's actually about exactly what your thread is titled. You rebound because you don't like life as much without companionship. The way you phrased your entire first post makes it sound like you want to be with her because she's there and your ex isn't. I might be wrong, but it's not my intention to insult you or anything. The most important bit of advice here is that you really shouldn't go straight from just knowing someone to dating them exclusively. It is too much of a step. Even a month of casual dating will give you a better idea of how well you both can relate to each other. Also, if either of you would like to see other people, you don't have to worry about jealousy (although this can be hard). I personally play "the game" during said casual dating period (wait a few days to call her, don't see her more than 2 times a week, etc.), but you should do this however it works for you. Just make sure you don't leap into something that could end up getting you both hurt. Please just trust me on this one, I've been through a WHOLE LOT with women that is too much to go into at the moment (especially for being only 22) and I know what's up. | |
yes, that's my point. Your experience is a bit odd. I don't know what your experience, thus the root of your views has been, but it's a bit odd. Anyway, I'm getting the feeling you haven't been in a lot of relationships. Not exactly the person I want to be taking advice from. No offense. | |
"Someone has had different life experience than me? HOW CAN THIS BE!?"
"Oh, better just brush them off, saying that obviously don't have much experience at all." Look, if you don't want to consider what I said, fine. That's your decision. But don't try to rationalize it as if just because what I said is different from what you'd have expected that has to mean I don't know what I'm talking about. As for how many relationships I've been in, my answer is "enough to know a thing or two about them".
I'll settle for telling you that you really shouldn't assume stuff about other people because you're not comfortable with what they say; or because you're surprised by the conclusions they drew from their own experience. | |
Oh God. Yes. It was around September when I realized I'd be single around Christmas time, so I decided to look at some girls on fb. First good-tier I saw, I messaged. She introduced me to Reddit. I eventually dumped her in November and wound up being single for the holidays. Anyways, I regret going out with her in the first place because Reddit. The damn website is addictive, but also I've never seen a group of stupid people trying so hard to sound smart. | |
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HA! No. I'm very rarely in a relationship, it must be said.
I get my end away on roughly a once-in-two-years basis, it seems, and the relationships don't last more than a few months as a rule.
I don't let it bother me, as a rule. I like my time to myself, and I'm not the greatest person to be in a relationship with. I'm quite bland, sex-wise, I don't have an amazing body, and I'm very lazy in terms of keeping in contact on a daily basis. I can have a cultured or amusing conversation, and I like to cook for people and go to cultural things, as applies to a large portion of the worlds population, but apart from that, there's not that much to be gained by going out with me specifically.
As it stands, though, I find it difficult (read: impossible) to seperate sex and emotion, so the last few times a girl's come on to me, I've just... pretended not to understand and left, which is slightly cowardly, I suppose, but it's easier than explaining all this crap, and it means I don't have to turn down (explicitly) a perfectly nice girl.
SO... I've bascially adopted the opposite tactic of the thread title.