what would you make Earth's official language?

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Ok, fun hypothetical time!

Let's say for some reason, let's save some time and just say space magic, you can now pick what language everyone on Earth will speak for the rest of history. You get to pick what Earth's universal language is.

So what do you pick? Any language can be used, including dead languages and fictional ones.

Note: All the other languages will still have existed, and can still be learned. So you can still learn how to speak *insert your native language*, you'd just learn it as a second one.

Well English should be the main language but all cursing must be uttered in Chinese!

Esperanto would be fitting as it was constructed to be an international language.

But I would pick whatever the vogon language is called. Poetry classes will be mandatory.

Pig Latin.

Orfay ehtay olzlay!

Could do the Ender's Game solution and create Starways Common(A.K.A. "Stark"), a culmination of multicultural and battle school slang on an English base(Modified, standardized and easier to learn English grammar rules)

Daystar Clarion:
Pig Latin.

Orfay ehtay olzlay!

crewsay ouyay.

OT: English, if for no other reason than I like it over any other language I've listened to.

I'd like to see Latin make a comeback. We use so many Latin terms, phrases and idioms, might as well make it the main language in this alternate universe.

The lazy option would be English, but I say we pick Latin just for the cool factor. And then we can have space Romans and stuff. Who doesn't want Space Legions?

Only one option... Klingon

I'm going to say Cat, Earth's native language shall be the language of Cats. Meow.

The language of interpretive dance.

English is already the language of international commerce, it'd make the most sense at this stage.

Earth's official language should be that of the Marklars Marklar's offical Marklar should be that of the Marklars

Modified version of English. Its pretty close to being a worldwide common language already.

But first, ideally, you would standardize the odd spelling and grammar rules left over from all the bastardization in the language's beginnings. And flat out eliminate most of the region specific slang.

Goofguy:
I'd like to see Latin make a comeback. We use so many Latin terms, phrases and idioms, might as well make it the main language in this alternate universe.

It's so bloody complicated though, even people fluent can't just talk like we do in english, you have to be very careful and obey all the really complicated and obtuse rules.

English coupled with Nadsat. I'd kopat that. Choodessny.

Sindarin, or Mando'a. Possibly Khuzdul.

JEBWrench:
The language of interpretive dance.

A lot of those conversations would probably end violently

Ancient Sumerian. Or another very old language. I think it's only fair if everybody learned a new language, rather than some people having an advantage.

GeneralTwinkle:

Goofguy:
I'd like to see Latin make a comeback. We use so many Latin terms, phrases and idioms, might as well make it the main language in this alternate universe.

It's so bloody complicated though, even people fluent can't just talk like we do in english, you have to be very careful and obey all the really complicated and obtuse rules.

Same problem with Spanish. A Spanish professor told me native Mexicans won't pay attention to most of the grammar rules. It comes with the territory of having 50 FORMS FOR A SINGLE VERB.

Really, fuck Spanish. Portuguese too. French is a much nicer Romance language. It's not trying to be Italian and failing miserably at it.

Freechoice:

GeneralTwinkle:

Goofguy:
I'd like to see Latin make a comeback. We use so many Latin terms, phrases and idioms, might as well make it the main language in this alternate universe.

It's so bloody complicated though, even people fluent can't just talk like we do in english, you have to be very careful and obey all the really complicated and obtuse rules.

Same problem with Spanish. A Spanish professor told me native Mexicans won't pay attention to most of the grammar rules. It comes with the territory of having 50 FORMS FOR A SINGLE VERB.

Really, fuck Spanish. Portuguese too. French is a much nicer Romance language. It's not trying to be Italian and failing miserably at it.

Knowing french, I'd prefer to have learnt italian. It seems like an easier version of it that sounds better, and they're really similar languages. I can read some italian things from just knowing french.

usmarine4160:

JEBWrench:
The language of interpretive dance.

A lot of those conversations would probably end violently

And violence isn't a universal language?

Captcha tells me Doritos are the universal language.

finiii:
Esperanto would be fitting as it was constructed to be an international language.

After googling "esperanto," I think I would realistically pick that. If I were feeling sadistic, I would pick Navajo.

Latin. Everything sounds more dramatic that way.

Maybe German? Just anything other than english just because of how many rules there are in the written, it's batshit crazy.

Binary code.

No really, I want to hear my women talk affectionately to me in 1's and 0's.... maybe an occasional 2 if they're feeling extra dirty.

Also, I'd pay good money to hear the micro machines man speak like this.

Italian (Ezio, how you make me want to learn how to speak in that sexy language like you)
but the nerd in me wants to say Japanese.

The purest language on earth: Bush man
*click-click whistle*

Raven's Nest:
Well English should be the main language but all cursing must be uttered in Chinese!

I suppose the last part would also be acceptable.

nadsat, my droog

I'm the first one to suggest Lojban?

I gotta admit, I'm a little disappointed.

Earth's official language? Easy! The language of trade! Currently, it's English. Next? Who knows, maybe Chinese, or it could end up being Swahili! Of course, that'd mean the language changes every century or two.

A modified version of Esperanto with plenty of allowance for loanwords.

ETA: And the crapstorms that would result just make it all the more appropriate.

Spanish or English.
Only chinese is a more spoken language than these two to begin with but that does no take into account all the different slangs of that language (people from south China does not understand a person speaking Chinese in the North, or so I've heard) so I'd pick either of the two most spoken languages in the world.

Edit:
Or then I would just go with Finish to fuck with peoples' minds...

finiii:
Esperanto would be fitting as it was constructed to be an international language.

But I would pick whatever the vogon language is called. Poetry classes will be mandatory.

No.
Esperanto is bad and you should feel bad for suggesting we inflict that cobbled-together monstrosity on humanity.

OT: English is the logical option, most industry/rich nations here speak it and only spanish and chinese outrank it as 'most spoken'. So they could do, I guess, but I've little desire to learn either, especially chinese in all it's complexity.
Or, if I'm feeling sadistic but not sadistic enough to inflict...THAT...language on humanity, then I'd say Old Norse. Just for shits and giggles, plus I could learn it fairly well. And it'd be amusing to see spaniards and latinos look at me confused while I'm speaking the most common tongue fluently for once, instead of them expecting me to speak their rotting taco language everywhere I go. Yes, I mad. Also intoxicated. Still retaining impeccable spelling.

Boy, I'll be regretting this in the morning when I'm slapped down with a warning or suspension for racism (I figure 'rotting taco language' isn't very culturally sensitive). But that's future me's problem.

Definitely Latin. it is undeniably the coolest language. Everything would sound like we are in Warhammer 40k

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