Psst he is in the friend zone

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Most guys who have been friendzoned are people who were too scared to ask the girl out. It's not hard to ask a girl out, is it the rejection or something? man up.

It's easier to say you were friend-zoned than say you were too scared to ask her out.

viranimus:

I was raised by a wild pack of women. As a wee lad I got to sit in on the secret weekly meetings. Just dont ask me to perform the secret handshake, Oh the horror!

*smacks on head* SILENCE boy!....you will do well to know your place!

I dont understand why so many people ask this.

1)Males put females into the 'friendzone" as well. Not just women
2) there's traits of my male friends that I don't find attractive, hence why they are my friends and not my romantic interests. There are aspects in that individual of which I find that he could make a good lover and hopefully and long lasting relationship will form. I do not see these things with my male friends, and they have differences about themselves that I don't believe will assist me in the future, and that I don't find any form of romantic feelings for.

When I date a man, I don't originally see the negative in him, or I don't believe it is grand enough to cause any form of issues. I don't intentionally go out to find an asshole who is going to use my face as a punching bag, thank you very much. We females do have intelligence.

And, point again, males make stupid decisions too. They date females that are bitches and can't quite seem to grasp that they are, in fact, only after assets that don't involve romance.

Sorry, I completely forgot men always make the right decisions and we females are too stupid to notice the perfect god we have in our "friend" collection. I secretly love being abused.

Do people compartmentalize other people? Yes. Is it possible to be seen in a way that you don't want? Sure.

But that is your problem. The onus is on you to change that.

And honestly, I get rejected a lot and it isn't that bad, yeah you brood over it for a weekend but it doesn't destroy your life.

Headsprouter:

GeneralTwinkle:
Because they're your friends doesn't mean they have to go out with you. Friend zone is dumb.

Assuming you mean the concept is dumb, and guys complaining about it are being stupid....

Yes, but I think the problem the OP is having is that all these girls are claiming all they want is a "nice guy", when what they really want is a nice, good-looking guy with good financial prospects blah blah blah, nestbuilding and child-rearing instinctive requirements, etc etc....

"Nice guy" means more than what it says to these women. If this is all they wanted, they would have went for it a long time ago.

Hah, don't kid yourself. It probably has little to do with finances and the like. Maybe looks somewhat. But you're missing the obvious lack of personality some people can have. 'Nice' is far from sufficient personality-wise.

piinyouri:

Personally, I feel it is bullshit. It's a made up term for a made up place.

This made me laugh, probably more than it should have done, but it is so true.

SaetonChapelle:
I dont understand why so many people ask this.

Because they are young and/or socially inexperienced? That would be my guess.

DirtyJunkieScum:

SaetonChapelle:
I dont understand why so many people ask this.

Because they are young and/or socially inexperienced? That would be my guess.

Well this is a video-game forum with a heavy emphasis on the "geek" lifestyle. And there is some truth in saying that these people aren't always graced with social skills due to being that geek and also being young.

Dear god there is no friend zone.
It's a term people use to make an excuse for looking for love in the wrong places.
It's also a term used to make an excuse for people not having the tastes that we THINK they want.
There is no friend-zone.
Grow up. If you don't like being complained to about other guys, don't be their friend, find a girl who doesn't do that.
If you don't like watching them get hurt by douchebags, that's their own problem, protect yourself, they're too stupid or foolish to be worth your time.
If you're attracted to them and they're not attracted to you, don't. blame. them.
Grow up and move on.

/thread. sorry for venting.

Why do you SEE a friend-zone? Because men cannot be friends with women without wanting to bone them (although, as we are aware, any woman can be bone-able with the right amount of anonymity and / or alcohol), and women can. Why do men GO there? They don't see this difference either.
Repeating this: women and men, need a SPARK of something to go off boning. It might take a few minutes to emerge, but if it ain't there, it ain't there. It will magically generate itself after dinner, dancing, a movie, and a drive to make-out point (hint: if you spent over $40, probably it won't). It does not "grow" from your favors, hangings-out, or any other "always there for you" bull-dookie. She will not give in, because she doesn't feel the SPARK.
Bad boys, when they don't see the SPARK, run off. Nice guys will hang around, and be friends, even when they know it isn't there. That's the dichotomy. Nice guys that get the SPARK? Wind up with the best women in the world.
Quit trying to light the fire without a SPARK, go seeking alone, and find one for yourself.

DirtyJunkieScum:

SaetonChapelle:
I dont understand why so many people ask this.

Because they are young and/or socially inexperienced? That would be my guess.

this is the best answer I've received thus far for this question. Cookie for you~

Vault101:

GeeksUtopia:
So women why did y'all invent the friendzone? .

cause were evil bitches involved in a global feminist conspiracy

OBVIOUSLY

Seems legit, I think I'll believe ya Vault ;)

Johann610:
Why do you SEE a friend-zone? Because men cannot be friends with women without wanting to bone them (although, as we are aware, any woman can be bone-able with the right amount of anonymity and / or alcohol), and women can. Why do men GO there? They don't see this difference either.

Sorry, men certainly can be friends with women without wanting to bone them.
Maybe some men cant, but most men can.
All my life, most of my friends have been dudes, and most of those friendships were 100% unsexual.

I go by the following philosophy:

both genders generally suck at picking their mates, shit happens, and nothing will change unless people become more introspective.

or at least more aware of shallow expectations and such.

EDIT: on the flip-side, good friends make great lovers... at least in my experience.

*facepalm*

The friend zone doesn't exist. It's just men and women being immature, hypocritical fools who like easy excuses to complain about shit they probably should've seen coming a mile off. But I suppose you want me to agree with you and say, "Yeah, why'd you bitches invent the friend zone, huh? We're such fucking nice guys to you, but you don't let us date you! Goddamn feminist whores!"

This is why I don't understand human beings, and yes, that includes myself. Life sucks, life's unfair, and I know how a lot of you "friend-zoned" losers are feeling because I'm an ugly and socially awkward "Forever Alone"-type with low self-esteem and zero charisma to boot. But I can't start blaming other people for my own faults or things that are out of both my and their control. Also, I know that I'm not ready for a relationship because of my emotional baggage, yet I still get all awkward, jealous and reminded of my multiple shortcomings whenever I see my friend holding hands and kissing his girlfriend. But that's not their fault. 1) They're 16-year-olds, they're bound to be like that (by "like that", I mean, more touchy-feely than, say, two 25-year-olds in a relationship, and 2) The problem is me, and I don't really want them to break up just because I get a twinge of sickly pain whenever I see them together.

Basically, the phrase "Don't hate the player, hate the game" actually applies pretty well here. Don't start insulting a girl behind her back (or to her face; either way, it's still douchebaggy) just because she happens to both be attractive and not interested to you at all. Just curse the fact that you're an undesirable person and the universe randomly happens to screw you over. And for the former, perhaps try to work on that little flaw.

Sometimes, shit like this almost makes me wish that I was gay or entirely asexual, since it would be far more practical. But that's just a silly line of thinking, isn't it? Oh yeah, and fuck rom-coms and those shitty films where the main hero guy "gets the girl" as some warped, misogynistic reward for being an all-round Mary Sue and saving her from the evil jock. That's nothing more than a fantasy, which some people seem to forget.

Mortai Gravesend:

Headsprouter:

GeneralTwinkle:
Because they're your friends doesn't mean they have to go out with you. Friend zone is dumb.

Assuming you mean the concept is dumb, and guys complaining about it are being stupid....

Yes, but I think the problem the OP is having is that all these girls are claiming all they want is a "nice guy", when what they really want is a nice, good-looking guy with good financial prospects blah blah blah, nestbuilding and child-rearing instinctive requirements, etc etc....

"Nice guy" means more than what it says to these women. If this is all they wanted, they would have went for it a long time ago.

Hah, don't kid yourself. It probably has little to do with finances and the like. Maybe looks somewhat. But you're missing the obvious lack of personality some people can have. 'Nice' is far from sufficient personality-wise.

How am I kidding myself....? Nevermind, that's not important...

But you agree that women are asking for a lot more than just being treated nicely. I think this is what men don't understand. Nice is flexible. Like you say, for some, in fact, most, it can mean a great personality.

Here's something I don't understand, though: All these douchebags they date. Obviously they turned out to have AMAZING, likable personalities. What makes those who treat others like dirt so attractive? I suppose they don't mind, until it's shot their way.

I'm just going to come out and say it. I wanna be in the friend zone. Friend zone the fuck out of me. Let's go on platonic dates with no chance of physical contact. Let's be buds. I'll pretend you have a penis and you can pretend that I don't. I don't give a shit. People who fear the friend zone don't know what it's like to not have friends. In my case, I used to fear it because I was a virgin and had a lot of anxiety about it. Now I'm not, so I don't.

Seriously dudes, grow a pair. Have some confidence in yourself. If you worry about that a girl isn't going to have sex with you, she probably never will. And if you don't like it, don't hang out with her! It's just that simple, people. This is coming from the least self respecting, biggest complainer, lowest confidence person on this board. Girls often have friends that are girls. Maybe they will fuck you. Maybe they won't. None of these people will have sex with you if you're whining to them about not fucking you. Or whining to other people about it.

And what's really not fun is having no friends at all. Trying to get friends when starting from zero is freaking impossible. So just be nice to people. It's not that fucking hard.

Captcha is "ticked off"

Headsprouter:

Mortai Gravesend:

Headsprouter:

Assuming you mean the concept is dumb, and guys complaining about it are being stupid....

Yes, but I think the problem the OP is having is that all these girls are claiming all they want is a "nice guy", when what they really want is a nice, good-looking guy with good financial prospects blah blah blah, nestbuilding and child-rearing instinctive requirements, etc etc....

"Nice guy" means more than what it says to these women. If this is all they wanted, they would have went for it a long time ago.

Hah, don't kid yourself. It probably has little to do with finances and the like. Maybe looks somewhat. But you're missing the obvious lack of personality some people can have. 'Nice' is far from sufficient personality-wise.

How am I kidding myself....? Nevermind, that's not important...

I'm talking about that utterly obnoxious part where you act like the reasons are annoying stereotypical things like money and looks as opposed to things like him simply not being interesting or other things. =|

But you agree that women are asking for a lot more than just being treated nicely. I think this is what men don't understand. Nice is flexible. Like you say, for some, in fact, most, it can mean a great personality.

Well no I wouldn't say nice makes for a great personality when dating. I know girls who I think are nice, but if I think about it I wouldn't find their personalities particularly great for dating. For instance one friend I have seems too outgoing. Another is nice but I find myself lacking in enthusiasm for the things they find interesting a fair amount of the time and it seems that the reverse is true as well. I think plenty of people are nice, but it's far from all I want as far as personality goes.

Here's something I don't understand, though: All these douchebags they date. Obviously they turned out to have AMAZING, likable personalities. What makes those who treat others like dirt so attractive? I suppose they don't mind, until it's shot their way.

Vault101 listed some nice possible reasons.

1. The girl doesn't realize it
2. They see something you don't.
3. You're wrong and he's not a douchebag.
4. They just want them for the sex(which would mean it isn't a serious relationship I'd think though that was probably mostly a joke reason)

Can we please stop using the term "friend zone"? This was relevant to me in middle school and high school. But now as an adult, it's getting a tad ridiculous. When my 25 year old friends go, "Yeah man. She totally put me in the friend zone." I laugh inside and think 'Well its probably because you sound about 16.'

Maybe I'm just crazy though. Seriously guys...does that make me crazy?

SaetonChapelle:
I dont understand why so many people ask this.

1)Males put females into the 'friendzone" as well. Not just women
2) there's traits of my male friends that I don't find attractive, hence why they are my friends and not my romantic interests. There are aspects in that individual of which I find that he could make a good lover and hopefully and long lasting relationship will form. I do not see these things with my male friends, and they have differences about themselves that I don't believe will assist me in the future, and that I don't find any form of romantic feelings for.

When I date a man, I don't originally see the negative in him, or I don't believe it is grand enough to cause any form of issues. I don't intentionally go out to find an asshole who is going to use my face as a punching bag, thank you very much. We females do have intelligence.

And, point again, males make stupid decisions too. They date females that are bitches and can't quite seem to grasp that they are, in fact, only after assets that don't involve romance.

Sorry, I completely forgot men always make the right decisions and we females are too stupid to notice the perfect god we have in our "friend" collection. I secretly love being abused.

Hey now! How dare you bring logic and reason and common sense into this!? We clearly already know that women alone make all the mistakes in this area! Men, including myself, are obviously always the aggrieved party and it almost certainly is never through any fault of our own! To imply otherwise is to possibly admit that men just might not have it all together.

Seriously though, I agree with you. That whole thing up there was sarcasm in case its not as clear as it is in my head. I think we hear about it more from guys because our egos are all disproportionally big, myself excluded of course :-P

crazyarms33:
Can we please stop using the term "friend zone"? This was relevant to me in middle school and high school. But now as an adult, it's getting a tad ridiculous. When my 25 year old friends go, "Yeah man. She totally put me in the friend zone." I laugh inside and think 'Well its probably because you sound about 16.'

Maybe I'm just crazy though. Seriously guys...does that make me crazy?

You're right. Grown ups don't act like everything is an opportunity to fuck. "She friend zoneded me." Oh, you mean "she met you, thought you were nice, and didn't immediately rip off your pants?"

DirtyJunkieScum:
What the hell do you mean "why did y'all invent the friendzone?" They like these guys but don't fancy them. Is it that hard to understand?

THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!

The friend zone is an excuse used by both sides. Girls say you're too good of a friend because they just don't want to fucking go out with you, guys say it as if it's some sort of legitimate reason why they're not with the girl they want to be with.

Because when a woman or girl says she wants a "good guy", she doesn't mean the kind of good you think of.

You can take that in a dirty or non dirty way, both would be accurate.

GeeksUtopia:
Yes oh my god it's another friendzone post. I was with my friends (which all my friends are women, don't know how that happened, but :D) So as I was with them, all of them were talking about how they just broke up with one douche and how the next one was a douche +1, so I am thinking, "well you get what you choose, and I see where this is going." So by the time the conversation was drawing to an end they all wondered where the hell can they find a good guy for once. Me angered by hearing this all the time finally snapped and shouted, "IN THE F***ING FRIENDZONE WHERE YA LEFT THEM TO DIE!!!" And in unison they said nah. And I asked them why not, and asked about the other guy friends they knew. Some answers I got back was that some of the other guys weren't as good looking or they were a little off, but at the same time they were their best friends. So in their defense I asked if they were always their for them, and if they were as nice to you as a true gentleman should. They all said yes. Yet they still denied them. So women why did y'all invent the friendzone? Cause as a man I would like to know the purpose, cause obviously it's not a circle of men who are potential dates.

You know who is also usually nice to women? Their dad and brother(s). It isn't enough to be nice, if your mentally off or you look like a 5/10, don't expect much. Also, you know how you avoid tfz? By having some courage and not waiting a year to tell another person you like them.

crazyarms33:

SaetonChapelle:
I dont understand why so many people ask this.

1)Males put females into the 'friendzone" as well. Not just women
2) there's traits of my male friends that I don't find attractive, hence why they are my friends and not my romantic interests. There are aspects in that individual of which I find that he could make a good lover and hopefully and long lasting relationship will form. I do not see these things with my male friends, and they have differences about themselves that I don't believe will assist me in the future, and that I don't find any form of romantic feelings for.

When I date a man, I don't originally see the negative in him, or I don't believe it is grand enough to cause any form of issues. I don't intentionally go out to find an asshole who is going to use my face as a punching bag, thank you very much. We females do have intelligence.

And, point again, males make stupid decisions too. They date females that are bitches and can't quite seem to grasp that they are, in fact, only after assets that don't involve romance.

Sorry, I completely forgot men always make the right decisions and we females are too stupid to notice the perfect god we have in our "friend" collection. I secretly love being abused.

Hey now! How dare you bring logic and reason and common sense into this!? We clearly already know that women alone make all the mistakes in this area! Men, including myself, are obviously always the aggrieved party and it almost certainly is never through any fault of our own! To imply otherwise is to possibly admit that men just might not have it all together.

Seriously though, I agree with you. That whole thing up there was sarcasm in case its not as clear as it is in my head. I think we hear about it more from guys because our egos are all disproportionally big, myself excluded of course :-P

xD I love you now~

I frequently am on a site at night called "funnyjunk", and although most of the stuff is crap, I find numerous things in my boredom. However I see a lot of posts of males complaining about the "friendzone", how they are 'alone in this world', but then make stupid comments about how stupid women are, the "get in the kitchen" joke I've heard only 4 billion times, and how women get high votes purely because they're women. It's just confuses me.

Im no extreme feminist, and Im sure I know very little of the male mind, but do some people ever stop and think about what they're writing/posting/saying?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xH79IeSe0I0

I should have posted this earlier, but for some reason I didn't think of it.

SaetonChapelle:

DirtyJunkieScum:

SaetonChapelle:
I dont understand why so many people ask this.

Because they are young and/or socially inexperienced? That would be my guess.

this is the best answer I've received thus far for this question. Cookie for you~

Thanks, I'll be hanging around dispensing old geezer wisdom for cookies all evening.

Woodsey:

DirtyJunkieScum:
What the hell do you mean "why did y'all invent the friendzone?" They like these guys but don't fancy them. Is it that hard to understand?

THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!

The friend zone is an excuse used by both sides. Girls say you're too good of a friend because they just don't want to fucking go out with you, guys say it as if it's some sort of legitimate reason why they're not with the girl they want to be with.

I'm sure you're aware of this but you can swap the sex/gender or whatever the appropriate term is these days in that statement...or just alter it to make it gender neutral and therefore applicable in either situation, then your first sentence could cover all the possible meanings i.e. used by both men and women and by the rejected and rejecting party. That's efficiency right there, saves lives don't you know?!

Vault101:
cause were evil bitches involved in a global feminist conspiracy

OBVIOUSLY

Clearly. After all, it's not like anyone would ever pretend to be a crush's "friend" in order to get into their pants, then throw a tantrum when it didn't work, right?

Vault101:

Patrick Buck:
Girls arn't the only people who friendzone. It's possible to JUST want to be friends with someone. I'm confused as to how everyone gets so angry about it, saying it's unfair. I've been friendzone'd. I'm not bitter, ain't her fault she doesn't wanna go out with me. But I've also been asked out by a friend, who I just wanted to be friends with, so that might have been the reason I was so accepting of it.

what is this? reason?

get out..you don't belong here

DoomyMcDoom:
"women only date bastards"

random guess...IT crowd?

YES! You nailed it.

I had a cookie somewhere, I musta eaten it... but you deserve one. :P

370999:
Do people compartmentalize other people? Yes. Is it possible to be seen in a way that you don't want? Sure.

But that is your problem. The onus is on you to change that.

And honestly, I get rejected a lot and it isn't that bad, yeah you brood over it for a weekend but it doesn't destroy your life.

I just wanted to say you have Minorin in your avatar, and that makes me happy :3

SmashLovesTitanQuest:
Because when a woman or girl says she wants a "good guy", she doesn't mean the kind of good you think of.

You can take that in a dirty or non dirty way, both would be accurate.

I am disappointed in your lack of a combative and long winded response.

my personal peeve is when women say "why cant i find a guy like you?" bitch, i am a guy like me. the issue is im not even ugly, just chubby. whats wrong with a guy with more to love?

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING FRIENDZONE THREADS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING FORUM.

Okay I calmed down.

But seriously, whats wrong with just being friends? Just because your nice to her does not entitle you to a relationship.

From my understanding, there are 3 types of "friendzoning".

The first seems to be a misguided attempt at a girl being nice to a guy rather than outright blowing him off.

The second is caused by the guy expressing prolonged "friend-like" behavior instead of expressing or even hinting at having "relationship feelings" for her so even if the girl had feeling for the guy at first, she buried them.

Finally, the post-relationship friendzone is an even more misguided attempt at a girl trying to make a guy their friend long after the guy has buried his "friend-like feelings" under his "relationship feelings".

Watching the escapist community attempt to collectively figure out the intricate details of human relationships is fun. That aside, Yes the friendzone does exist, it just isn't what most people perceive it as. What the friendzone is is a massive misunderstanding between two people. now this happens with all genders and sexualities but I'm going to use man and woman for simplicity's sake. How it starts is a man meets a woman and concludes he likes her as a lover. To show his feelings he showers her with acts of kindness, but never really shows his full hand. She on the other hand does not perceive him as a potential mate, so to her his acts come across as friendly and fraternal rather then romantic. this is most common when the man is the emotional stunted type and doesn't express himself well. So we are left with a man who feels angry because the woman he love never notices him and a woman who doesn't even notice that her friend loves her like that or how much it hurts him. sadly if he was expressive enough to show her his feelings or she empathetic enough to see them this wouldn't need happen.

Protip: if a friend you do not want to date ever confesses to you, don't use wishy washy language like " I don't want to ruin our friendship" or "I love you, but not in that way" instead you should crush their dreams like a mosquito on your arm. You sometimes must be cruel to be kind, so make sure your feelings are known and they fully understand that you are not interested. Finally give some thought to why you are not interested, if you can't think of any legitimate reason it might be time for some introspection.

captcha: plugged nickel, I have no joke for this.

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