last summer in summer camp we went to watch green lantern. After walking out of the bus,I went out of the way and hold the door for all of the girls near me to go first,but a new girl that recently got into camp made a irritating face and said "What,go in for yourself macho".
Even though she made an effort;I over heard her saying how I was a sexist douchebag,and how she can take care of herself. After the movies I asked my friend if this was the case ,and she said it wasn't true,but I have my doubts.

What's your look on the topic

To answer everyone's question I used to open men my age (still do with little children or old men or women) but when I do this guys think am being gay or "treating" them like a girl.

My view on the topic: it's polite to hold the door for people coming behind you, male or female. It's rude to get up in someone's face for being polite.

The core of sexism is the belief that woman should be treated differently than men. To hold a door for a woman and not a man is sexist, regardless of any preconceived social norms on proper etiquette are.

What is this, a quadruple post? The thread display hamsters must be having issues :P

Anyway, here's my response from one of the other copies of the thread, since this one seems to be the active one:

My view on the topic: it's polite to hold the door for people coming behind you, male or female. It's rude to get up in someone's face for being polite.

Is being a gentlemen sexist?

No, but it is pluralist.

Repeat thread.

Being a gentleman only to women is kind of a dick move. Be gentlemanly to everyone.
I find it so funny that `holding the door` open is made out like a big thing. The only thing that pisses me off is if some guy legs it in front of me just so he can hold the door open. It's just... weird.
I hold the door open for dudes, and I've had dudes refuse to walk through a door I was holding for them- but I dont make a big thing of it.

EDIT: Wait- what? You were holding the door on a bus? You dont need to do that, don't they stay open by themselves? If thats the case you probably looked a bit of a prat.

theAlfaBlade:
last summer in summer camp we went to watch green lantern. After walking out of the bus,I went out of the way and hold the door for all of the girls near me to go first,but a new girl that recently got into camp made a irritating face and said "What,go in for yourself macho".
Even though she made an effort;I over heard her saying how I was a sexist douchebag,and how she can take care of herself. After the movies I asked my friend if this was the case ,and she said it wasn't true,but I have my doubts.

What's your look on the topic

Nah, she's just an idiot posing as a feminist. You have to be careful with chivalrous actions though, sometimes you come off as a creep and the only way the girls can respond is with dumb shit like that.

Am I the only one that makes sure not to hold doors open for anyone, so people behind me have to dodge shutting doors?

Ok, only with people I know, but still...

No, it's just being nice.

Gentlemanliness is defined as being Chivalrous, Courteous or honourable.

Though being chivalrous is generally an attribute targeted especially towards women, being Courteous and honourable are aspects that are applicable to anyone, regardless of gender.

So no, not inherently sexist. But can be if you act in an exclusionary manner towards men.

EDIT: Which frankly would mean you aren't being gentlemanly. So yes, gentlemanliness isn't sexist.

This discussion has been done to death in the recent past. Please don't let this blow up again >.<

I don't usually point out repeat threads, but seriously we've had this exact same discussion in the last month or so

EDIT: Already been posted here, but hey:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.373115-Poll-Is-treating-women-in-Gentlemanly-way-Sexist

That conversation finished a month ago. Opinions won't have changed to any significant degree since then.

/thread. Please?

Well it does strike me as a little odd you specifically mention you were holding open the door for just the girls. Were you stopping the guys, or were there just none near you at the time? It seems a little strange.

thaluikhain:
Am I the only one that makes sure not to hold doors open for anyone, so people behind me have to dodge shutting doors?

Ok, only with people I know, but still...

If I know the person well then I actively make an effort to close it in front of them just to be a dickhead.

But otherwise, are you only holding it open for women? Because that's kind of a dick move; having a vagina doesn't lessen one's capability to open a door. If you hold it for everyone then no problemo [insert celebrity whose name ends with 'emo' here].

Though I suppose if you really want you can hold onto those antiquated notions of chivalry. Just so long as there's not a long line of women, a guy at the end, and you let all the women through but close it on the guy.

if someone gets up in my face for being polite, I see that as a valid excuse to be as much of a dick to em as possible.

it's what they want, right?
>.>
<.<

right?

No don't worry about it. Unless you're only gentlemanly to women in which case consistency is your friend.

This topic again?

Anyway, it's sexist if you're only doing it for the women.
I hold doors open for people who come after me, no matter if they are men or women, and open doors to any people who have their hands full of stuff.

Why?
Why don't these threads go away?

Seriously, I'd nearly be in favour of a 'wtf women' sub-forum, just so the front page isn't cluttered with these threads every bloody day.

The action itself is polite, you're just doing it for the wrong reasons, that's normally the case anyway.

Phasmal:
Repeat thread.

Being a gentleman only to women is kind of a dick move. Be gentlemanly to everyone.
I find it so funny that `holding the door` open is made out like a big thing. The only thing that pisses me off is if some guy legs it in front of me just so he can hold the door open. It's just... weird.
I hold the door open for dudes, and I've had dudes refuse to walk through a door I was holding for them- but I dont make a big thing of it.

EDIT: Wait- what? You were holding the door on a bus? You dont need to do that, don't they stay open by themselves? If thats the case you probably looked a bit of a prat.

I think he is talking about opening the door to the movie theatre. I am more curious what happened to the guys. If they were all trying to get through the door, was he stopping them and going "nope, ladies only"?

Well, it's not sexist, but there are diminishing returns for spies after the first one - people really start to expect you and respond accordingly. So it's okay to be the first gentleman and arguably the second gentleman, but if you're the third, fourth, and so on you're basically being a liability to the other gentlemen on your team.

...oh, sorry, misread. I thought this was a vidya gaem forum, not a "let's ask the internet about ambiguous social situations they didn't see first-hand" forum.

Kahunaburger:
Well, it's not sexist, but there are diminishing returns for spies after the first one - people really start to expect you and respond accordingly. So it's okay to be the first gentleman and arguably the second gentleman, but if you're the third, fourth, and so on you're basically being a liability to the other gentlemen on your team.

...oh, sorry, misread. I thought this was a vidya gaem forum, not a "let's ask the internet about ambiguous social situations they didn't see first-hand" forum.

It's called the off-topic section. You know, where you talk about things OTHER than video games.

MasochisticAvenger:

Kahunaburger:
Well, it's not sexist, but there are diminishing returns for spies after the first one - people really start to expect you and respond accordingly. So it's okay to be the first gentleman and arguably the second gentleman, but if you're the third, fourth, and so on you're basically being a liability to the other gentlemen on your team.

...oh, sorry, misread. I thought this was a vidya gaem forum, not a "let's ask the internet about ambiguous social situations they didn't see first-hand" forum.

It's called the off-topic section. You know, where you talk about things OTHER than video games.

Yeah, I was being unfair. This topic just irritates me, because the right answer is based on subjective social stuff that the internet has no way of knowing.

Kahunaburger:

MasochisticAvenger:

Kahunaburger:
Well, it's not sexist, but there are diminishing returns for spies after the first one - people really start to expect you and respond accordingly. So it's okay to be the first gentleman and arguably the second gentleman, but if you're the third, fourth, and so on you're basically being a liability to the other gentlemen on your team.

...oh, sorry, misread. I thought this was a vidya gaem forum, not a "let's ask the internet about ambiguous social situations they didn't see first-hand" forum.

It's called the off-topic section. You know, where you talk about things OTHER than video games.

Yeah, I was being unfair. This topic just irritates me, because the right answer is based on subjective social stuff that the internet has no way of knowing.

Fair enough. I do agree we don't really have enough information to go on, and some things would need to be clarified before anyone could give a proper answer. Things like why he only held the door for girls, and what exactly "going out of his way" means.

Oh for fuc....Can we not just change the name of this site to "The Escapist of sexist, misogynist, feminist and other gender related threads" and be done with it?

OT: No. It's not sexist, it's polite. If someone has a problem with politeness then it's in your power to tell them to fuck right off.

theAlfaBlade:
Is being a gentlemen sexist?

Yes, it is, but on the other hand the term "sexist" doesn't mean what one may suspect. Nwadays "sexist" is pretty much everyone who doesn't perceive his/her gender as inferior.

Sounds pretty sexist to me. Nothing wrong with holding a door for people, doing it because they're women makes you a bit of a tool.

What's the feminine version of gentlemanly? Ladylike? Seems a bit rubbish in comparison.

It's not sexist at all, it's just being polite. That girl you overheard talking just seems to have a bit of an ego/edge. Good manners seem to be lost on some people (for better or worse) .

theAlfaBlade:
I went out of the way and hold the door for all of the girls near me to go first

Yeah, that's sexist. In a sense. You wouldn't have went out of your way to hold the door for all the guys to go in first, would you? Be honest. The idea is that you're a sexist because you did it only because they're girls. You're really just supposed to hold it open for everyone, no one or the person right behind you.

I'm not entirely certain why this is still a question. You really just wanted everyone here to reaffirm your assumption that you were in the right, didn't you?

theAlfaBlade:
last summer in summer camp we went to watch green lantern. After walking out of the bus,I went out of the way and hold the door for all of the girls near me to go first,but a new girl that recently got into camp made a irritating face and said "What,go in for yourself macho".
Even though she made an effort;I over heard her saying how I was a sexist douchebag,and how she can take care of herself. After the movies I asked my friend if this was the case ,and she said it wasn't true,but I have my doubts.

What's your look on the topic

Next time, slam the door in her face, just as she's going in.

Seriously though, maybe she's a bit insecure?
Maybe someone did that for her before, only to smack her on the ass, so now she doesn't like that?
Maybe she likes you and that's some kind of tsundere defense mechanism?
Maybe she's sexist?
Maybe she thought you were trying to hard to be nice?
Maybe she doesn't like to be treated as cripple who can't open the doors by herself? I know some people who just don't like others to help them because they don't like to rely on others to deal with their own problems.

Maybe, if it bothers you, you should confront her about it? Seems like a logical step to take (I think... unless you've got no way to contact her, in which case better just get over it and let it go).

Colour-Scientist:
Why?
Why don't these threads go away?

Because, although these kind of situations happen to people all the time, it doesn't matter to the one making the thread if a similar situation which happened to someone else was discussed on here already because he wants to discuss HIS situation.