Another zombie attack in Florida

 Pages 1 2 3 NEXT
 

http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/news_archives/like-miami-zombie-face-eating-attack-charles-baker-gets-naked-eats-human-flesh-deputies-say

These attacks seem to be linked to me. The "zombies" behave in a similar fashion (biting human flesh, taking off clothes, refusing to cooperate with officers, animalistic behaviors) and all are reported to be on "substances".

Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

Daystar Clarion:
Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

It's kind of like that plan in Johnny English, only we're keeping everyone out.

Anyway, what needs to be said is "Don't Panic". Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm returning to my bunker-I mean house. Don't knock. There's a rifle trained at the door and a machete next to me leavemealone

Surely the bigger news is they have a place in Florida called the Manatee Memorial Hospital. That's freaking sweet.

EscapeGoat:

Daystar Clarion:
Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

It's kind of like that plan in Johnny English, only we're keeping everyone out.

Anyway, what needs to be said is "Don't Panic". Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm returning to my bunker-I mean house.

Surely the bigger news is they have a place in Florida called the Manatee Memorial Hospital. That's freaking sweet.

First thing I thought when I saw your avatar.

'If anyone would instigate the plan to build a nation encompassing wall, it would be Boris'

They say it's to do with bath salts right? Well, I've got a theory. These people must have been having a lovely bath when they inhale the fumes. Obviously, being in the bath, they won't have clothes on. Next will have run around outside quite a bit so that will explain how they've worked up quite an appetite. Lastly, if you found yourself outside, in the nude and bloody starving, I don't think you would be very cooperative either.

My totally serious theory.

Daystar Clarion:

EscapeGoat:

Daystar Clarion:
Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

It's kind of like that plan in Johnny English, only we're keeping everyone out.

Anyway, what needs to be said is "Don't Panic". Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm returning to my bunker-I mean house.

Surely the bigger news is they have a place in Florida called the Manatee Memorial Hospital. That's freaking sweet.

First thing I thought when I saw your avatar.

'If anyone would instigate the plan to build a nation encompassing wall, it would be Boris'

I'm pretty sure in the event of an international crisis like this Boris would just bumble into his office, press the big red button he keeps hidden behind his bike rack, grab his oik-smiting bar and walk onto his balcony, smiling to himself as the City of London raises itself on hydraulic legs and towers above the world, safe in the knowledge that neither zombies nor Ken Livingstone could reach him.

Daystar Clarion:
Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

But... we're an island? Sounds like wasted effort, effort that could be used on laser cannons

Hazy992:

Daystar Clarion:
Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

But... we're an island? Sounds like wasted effort, effort that could be used on laser cannons

Exactly!

What's harder to infiltrate than an island?

An island with a huge wall surrounding it!

As as far as I know, zombies can't fly planes.

Honestly, it almost sounds like a plot for a lethal weapon sequel or something.

There's a similiar modus operandi here. I don't mean a zombie one, I mean, think about it. Naked+cannibalism. If it WERE zombies, you would've thought more of 'em would be clothed, but there is a pattern, a crazy one, but it's there.

Blast, if only I was a modern tv detective, then the camera would zoom into multiple things, then I'd say something about "She's at the warehouse!" and run out to dramatic music.

EscapeGoat:

Daystar Clarion:

EscapeGoat:

It's kind of like that plan in Johnny English, only we're keeping everyone out.

Anyway, what needs to be said is "Don't Panic". Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm returning to my bunker-I mean house.

Surely the bigger news is they have a place in Florida called the Manatee Memorial Hospital. That's freaking sweet.

First thing I thought when I saw your avatar.

'If anyone would instigate the plan to build a nation encompassing wall, it would be Boris'

I'm pretty sure in the event of an international crisis like this Boris would just bumble into his office, press the big red button he keeps hidden behind his bike rack, grab his oik-smiting bar and walk onto his balcony, smiling to himself as the City of London raises itself on hydraulic legs and towers above the world, safe in the knowledge that neither zombies nor Ken Livingstone could reach him.

This is the best thing I have read today. And I would not be suprised if Boris could actually do that. As for the wall, nothing suspicious here! Just errr... building a wearhouse to store all that tea we like; a giant wearhouse the size of the country. Yes tea, that's what it's for.

Daystar Clarion:

Hazy992:

Daystar Clarion:
Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

But... we're an island? Sounds like wasted effort, effort that could be used on laser cannons

Exactly!

What's harder to infiltrate than an island?

An island with a huge wall surrounding it!

As as far as I know, zombies can't fly planes.

I dunno man, I still think laser turrets and cannons would be a wiser investment. What if the zombies learn how to use grappling hooks?

Daystar Clarion:

Hazy992:

Daystar Clarion:
Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

But... we're an island? Sounds like wasted effort, effort that could be used on laser cannons

Exactly!

What's harder to infiltrate than an island?

An island with a huge wall surrounding it!

As as far as I know, zombies can't fly planes.

But why build a wall? As far as I know, zombies can't swim.

Unless they learned how to swim...

But if they learned how to swim then... then perhaps they can learn how to fly! D:

Qwurty2.0:

Daystar Clarion:

Hazy992:
But... we're an island? Sounds like wasted effort, effort that could be used on laser cannons

Exactly!

What's harder to infiltrate than an island?

An island with a huge wall surrounding it!

As as far as I know, zombies can't fly planes.

But why build a wall? As far as I know, zombies can't swim.

Unless they learned how to swim...

But if they learned how to swim then... then perhaps they can learn how to fly! D:

image

Hmm...

This is a problem indeed.

Qwurty2.0:

Daystar Clarion:

Hazy992:
But... we're an island? Sounds like wasted effort, effort that could be used on laser cannons

Exactly!

What's harder to infiltrate than an island?

An island with a huge wall surrounding it!

As as far as I know, zombies can't fly planes.

But why build a wall? As far as I know, zombies can't swim.

Unless they learned how to swim...

But if they learned how to swim then... then perhaps they can learn how to fly! D:

You know, even though we have zombies all over the place we still don't get tired of them. They just wont die!I'm sorry I'll hit my self *smack* ow!

(Have we semi-derailed the thread?)

Daystar Clarion:

Qwurty2.0:

Daystar Clarion:

Exactly!

What's harder to infiltrate than an island?

An island with a huge wall surrounding it!

As as far as I know, zombies can't fly planes.

But why build a wall? As far as I know, zombies can't swim.

Unless they learned how to swim...

But if they learned how to swim then... then perhaps they can learn how to fly! D:

image

Hmm...

This is a problem indeed.

Looks like we're gonna need those laser turrets after all. (We British manage to make everything about ourselves don't we? No problem with that though. Just an observation. I suppose we've gotten pretty good at it.)

Daystar Clarion:

Qwurty2.0:

Daystar Clarion:

Exactly!

What's harder to infiltrate than an island?

An island with a huge wall surrounding it!

As as far as I know, zombies can't fly planes.

But why build a wall? As far as I know, zombies can't swim.

Unless they learned how to swim...

But if they learned how to swim then... then perhaps they can learn how to fly! D:

image

Hmm...

This is a problem indeed.

I should spoiler this to save precious space... but dear God I laughed way too hard!

*throws out cookies*

U71L7Y_F0RMUL4:

Daystar Clarion:

Qwurty2.0:

But why build a wall? As far as I know, zombies can't swim.

Unless they learned how to swim...

But if they learned how to swim then... then perhaps they can learn how to fly! D:

image

Hmm...

This is a problem indeed.

Looks like we're gonna need those laser turrets after all. (We British manage to make everything about ourselves don't we? No problem with that though. Just an observation. I suppose we've gotten pretty good at it.)

The US is fucked, this is clear by the apparent fact that they have zombies, and we don't.

We must save the best nation on the planet, so that future generations can grow up to have the best accents and comedy.

EscapeGoat:

Daystar Clarion:

EscapeGoat:

It's kind of like that plan in Johnny English, only we're keeping everyone out.

Anyway, what needs to be said is "Don't Panic". Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm returning to my bunker-I mean house.

Surely the bigger news is they have a place in Florida called the Manatee Memorial Hospital. That's freaking sweet.

First thing I thought when I saw your avatar.

'If anyone would instigate the plan to build a nation encompassing wall, it would be Boris'

I'm pretty sure in the event of an international crisis like this Boris would just bumble into his office, press the big red button he keeps hidden behind his bike rack, grab his oik-smiting bar and walk onto his balcony, smiling to himself as the City of London raises itself on hydraulic legs and towers above the world, safe in the knowledge that neither zombies nor Ken Livingstone could reach him.

And this is exactly why he was re-elected as Mayor! Boris will save us!

Daystar Clarion:

U71L7Y_F0RMUL4:

Looks like we're gonna need those laser turrets after all. (We British manage to make everything about ourselves don't we? No problem with that though. Just an observation. I suppose we've gotten pretty good at it.)

The US is fucked, this clear by the apparent fact that they have zombies, and we don't.

We must save the best nation on the planet, so that future generations can grow up to have the best accents and comedy.

My god your right! Sorry America, but you've got to fend for yourselves. We promise we'll help once we've completely shut ourselves off from the rest of the world. You guys have guns though, I'm sure you'll be alright. No zey von't

U71L7Y_F0RMUL4:

Daystar Clarion:

U71L7Y_F0RMUL4:

Looks like we're gonna need those laser turrets after all. (We British manage to make everything about ourselves don't we? No problem with that though. Just an observation. I suppose we've gotten pretty good at it.)

The US is fucked, this clear by the apparent fact that they have zombies, and we don't.

We must save the best nation on the planet, so that future generations can grow up to have the best accents and comedy.

My god your right! Sorry America, but you've got to fend for yourselves. We promise we'll help once we've completely shut ourselves off from the rest of the world. You guys have guns though, I'm sure you'll be alright. No zey von't

But once the zombies consume and convert everyone in the world, how will you hold off the undead masses?

No wall can withstand 6.5 billion zombies (not even one lined with lAz0Rz!1!)!

Qwurty2.0:

U71L7Y_F0RMUL4:

Daystar Clarion:

The US is fucked, this clear by the apparent fact that they have zombies, and we don't.

We must save the best nation on the planet, so that future generations can grow up to have the best accents and comedy.

My god your right! Sorry America, but you've got to fend for yourselves. We promise we'll help once we've completely shut ourselves off from the rest of the world. You guys have guns though, I'm sure you'll be alright. No zey von't

But once the zombies consume and convert everyone in the world, how will you hold off the undead masses?

No wall can withstand 6.5 billion zombies (not even one lined with lAz0Rz!1!)!

Oh my good man, you underestimate us. We will simply:
imageIt is our nature.

Daystar Clarion:
Good luck USA, hope to hear good news soon!

What?

No, no, were not building a wall, completely blocking off the British Isles from the outside world.

It's a...

Erm...

*slam*

All we have to do is make our selves slowly float away from mainland Europe, and we'll be fine.. Just in case, I'm heading up to one of those Scottish islands..

On the upside, once all the zombies eat everyone and die off, the British will be the only remaining super power. 2nd British Empire anyone?

Qwurty2.0:

U71L7Y_F0RMUL4:

Daystar Clarion:

The US is fucked, this clear by the apparent fact that they have zombies, and we don't.

We must save the best nation on the planet, so that future generations can grow up to have the best accents and comedy.

My god your right! Sorry America, but you've got to fend for yourselves. We promise we'll help once we've completely shut ourselves off from the rest of the world. You guys have guns though, I'm sure you'll be alright. No zey von't

But once the zombies consume and convert everyone in the world, how will you hold off the undead masses?

No wall can withstand 6.5 billion zombies (not even one lined with lAz0Rz!1!)!

The wall shall protect us.

All hail the wall!

I can't believe the police Tasered someone so clearly on drugs/mentally compromised multiple times. Even the people who make the darn things tell you not to do that.

Qwurty2.0:

But why build a wall? As far as I know, zombies can't swim.

Technically they wouldn't need to swim.

They don't breathe so could just skip happily along the bottom of the sea.

Hahahaha silly Brits and their wall. Being the hardy Canadian that I am, I will migrate north in to the frosty climes. Zombies will freeze and I will have access to all the fresh water and caribou I could possibly want. Plus, I would ride a friggin polar bear.

Okay lets not all panic now. I think we can all agree that the sensible course of action is to nuke Florida and to shot any american trying to leave the country as a precautionary measure. Now I know it seems unfair to you americans to abandon you to the mercy of the undead horde but I've spoken to rest of the world about that and we are all in agreement that we can live with that. Thanks for being such good sports.

TimeLord:

And this is exactly why he was re-elected as Mayor! Boris will save us!

Can't YOU save us instead? I'd rather be chilling in the TARDIS, more stuff to see in there.

Dags90:
I can't believe the police Tasered someone so clearly on drugs/mentally compromised multiple times. Even the people who make the darn things tell you not to do that.

The son of a bitch was biting chunks out of people. I would have riddled him with bullet holes. I think there is a point upon which the mental deficient and influence of outside substances actually legitimizes the use of a taser. This is one of those times.

I live in Florida and honestly I'm starting to get a little freaked out. The sentenced "There was another cannibal attack." should never be uttered. Yet it has 3 other times...

I'm buying a bat. Whether its synthetic weed or the apocalypse the Mayans were talking about the first naked man to run at me is going to take aluminum to the balls.

As the Apocalypse begins the guns, leather pants, and bottle caps i keep under my bed will finally be put to use.

Daystar Clarion:

Qwurty2.0:

U71L7Y_F0RMUL4:

My god your right! Sorry America, but you've got to fend for yourselves. We promise we'll help once we've completely shut ourselves off from the rest of the world. You guys have guns though, I'm sure you'll be alright. No zey von't

But once the zombies consume and convert everyone in the world, how will you hold off the undead masses?

No wall can withstand 6.5 billion zombies (not even one lined with lAz0Rz!1!)!

The wall shall protect us.

All hail the wall!

If a great encompassing wall can keep the Mongols out China for thousands of years then I believe one around Britain should keep the zombies out as well.

But Daystar answer me this, what happens when you run out of food or the island becomes too overpopulated, then how will the wall protect you?

Qwurty2.0:

Daystar Clarion:

Hazy992:
But... we're an island? Sounds like wasted effort, effort that could be used on laser cannons

Exactly!

What's harder to infiltrate than an island?

An island with a huge wall surrounding it!

As as far as I know, zombies can't fly planes.

But why build a wall? As far as I know, zombies can't swim.

Unless they learned how to swim...

But if they learned how to swim then... then perhaps they can learn how to fly! D:

Swimbies are bad enough... but Flybies!? D:

Holy shazbot! The captcha is "Umbrella Corporation".

image

Daystar Clarion:

Qwurty2.0:

Daystar Clarion:

Exactly!

What's harder to infiltrate than an island?

An island with a huge wall surrounding it!

As as far as I know, zombies can't fly planes.

But why build a wall? As far as I know, zombies can't swim.

Unless they learned how to swim...

But if they learned how to swim then... then perhaps they can learn how to fly! D:

image

Hmm...

This is a problem indeed.

Fill the ocean with cememt, then cover it in millions of bear traps.
I've seen enough cartoons to know that will work, then fill the sky with angry pidgeons from London, who are hungry because no tourists have been feeding them.

Doclector:
There's a similiar modus operandi here. I don't mean a zombie one, I mean, think about it. Naked+cannibalism. If it WERE zombies, you would've thought more of 'em would be clothed, but there is a pattern, a crazy one, but it's there.

That's what I keep telling people. It's not the Zombies, IT'S The REAVERS!!!!

Hazy992:
I dunno man, I still think laser turrets and cannons would be a wiser investment. What if the zombies learn how to use grappling hooks?

Why not a wall with turrets on it, like in this:


(just before the end)

 Pages 1 2 3 NEXT

Reply to Thread

This thread is locked