You have one free punch.

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Like the title says really.

You have one free punch that can be used on ANYONE. Man, Woman,friend, political figure, celebrity, fictional character (Somehow).

Nobody will question it, nobody will think any more or less of you. All you have is the personal satisfaction of knowing you did it.

Who gets it?

Theresa May, without question. She is absolutely incompetent and if my punch managed to put her out of action for a couple of weeks, I'd willingly go to prison as I'd be doing the country a favour.

So uhm, there seem to be glass shards all over my hand and it appears that I need a new mirror...I kid, though that guy really does deserve to get punched sometimes!

Nah, can't decide. Now, if I could line up some people to get a domino effect, maybe I'd put a certain prime minister on the starting end.

mathieu rebel, he is some guy i know. i would have liked to spend my punch on anyone els but he just had to ruin it. in case you didn't notice i hate him

pope benedict XVI

you have no idea how much i'd relish that opertunity, or if a second punch was added ann widicome.

The first nationalist I see from any country. I've just been watching Al Murray videos and people are arguing in the comments. IT IS A FUCKING JOKE!!!

Or since Theresa May has been taken I'd happily give Thatcher a slap.

Paul W.S. Anderson.

...Is it kosher to sneak a rock in my hand when I punch?

This guy I know (names won't be given) because he's an annoying little shit who pesters everyone, is aware that he's pestering, and just doesn't care that he's a pain.
Plus, he looks like a vampire bulldog. An opportunity to make him swallow some teeth would make my year.

That's not enough for the multitudes of assholes that I want to punch into oblivion

Wow, I just sat here for a while until I realised I really don't wanna punch anybody.
Maybe I'm just a peace-loving-wuss, but I can't say I have a desire to actually hit anybody.

But, that's not a funny answer, so:
You.
Yes, you.

I would carry it around on a necklace and use it to threaten folks that were bothering me. "See this? Keep it up, and it's yours." A punch is waaaaaay more useful before it's thrown.

Alexander Povetkin (World Heavyweight boxing champion), simply because it would be insanely cool to be able to say you'd punched the world heavyweight boxing champion!

Can I get a framed picture of it to hang over the fireplace and keep forever?

May I have knuckle dusters when I dish out my punch? Pretty please?! Knuckle dusters with dinky little spikes on 'em?!?!

George Osborne...

(Please note, I'm usually a Tory supporter FFS... >_< ) God Save Me indeed...

obama. for lying about closing the american concentration camps and thus spitting on human rights as well as the nobel prize committee.

The inventor of "ouchless" band-aids, lying fucker...

Some_Jackass:
Paul W.S. Anderson.

...Is it kosher to sneak a rock in my hand when I punch?

WHY? The RE movie are awesome. Maybe not 'true' RE but awesome none the less.

Right at 15:26 TO EVERYONE ON THE PLANET!!!!!!!!!

Captcha: end of story. In more ways then one captcha

Asif Ali Zardari
or Nawaz Sharriff
or Altaf Hussain

Dastardly:
A punch is waaaaaay more useful before it's thrown.

Never thought about it like that...
I agree with him ^

Dastardly:
I would carry it around on a necklace and use it to threaten folks that were bothering me. "See this? Keep it up, and it's yours." A punch is waaaaaay more useful before it's thrown.

This, kinda. I'd save it hoping the right moment would come along... then it would, and I'd think "Well... maybe a BETTER chance will come" and so on. And then I'd never use it. It's like an Elixir - on the last boss and you have a dozen or so, but keep thinking you'll need it later, and then the boss dies and you feel better for not having used them at all.

My younger brother would be a good candidate. Alas, he's protected by my mum...

My boss would be a close second.

Dastardly:
I would carry it around on a necklace and use it to threaten folks that were bothering me. "See this? Keep it up, and it's yours." A punch is waaaaaay more useful before it's thrown.

Reminds me of the slap bet on how I met your mother, and how it's the anticipation of the slap that terrifies Barney more than the slap itself.

David Cameron. Also, I punch with hammers.

Phasmal:
Wow, I just sat here for a while until I realised I really don't wanna punch anybody.
Maybe I'm just a peace-loving-wuss, but I can't say I have a desire to actually hit anybody.

But, that's not a funny answer, so:
You.
Yes, you.

Me? D:

Anyways, mine would probably be on somebody that I know. He's a massive douchebag who constantly uses memes such as "cool story, bro" and "umad?" far beyond the point of funniness. He also started a rumor that I was gay because my voice sounds funny. I typically try not to hold grudges, but he is my number one exception.

I can't believe nobody has said this so far.

Justin Bieber.

Also, my punching hand is out of order, so can I have a kick with steel-capped boots? :D

This guy from school (same year, different class). Fat, ugly, talks a lot, has an unbelievably irritating voice and an entirely unpleasant presence. Kinda like me, except for the fat part. And the talks a lot part. Hard to say it, but I hate him more than meself.
Heh, actually, we were just talking about punching him today with some classmates. Was wondering if I'd get a standing ovation for knocking his teeth out in front of the entire school.

Well, I have somebody in mind. Somebody from these very forums. This user. I'm coming for you, do you hear me, you cannot hide!

Either one of these three people-

Yamino from Deviantart.
G-Man (NOT Half Life) or Babs from Comicvine.

Before you asked why, I have a petty personal grude against them.

I could name a couple candidates. I don't normally want to punch people, but once in a while, someone makes it onto that list. It's less about vengeance than about "this person needs a lesson in proper humanity."

I'm gonna say someone who's fictional

Iago the villain in Othello, I have never hated a fictional character so much.

the_duke_CC:
pope benedict XVI

you have no idea how much i'd relish that opertunity, or if a second punch was added ann widicome.

And a second punch for the Pope from me. It would make me pretty damn happy.

DoPo:
Well, I have somebody in mind. Somebody from these very forums. This user. I'm coming for you, do you hear me, you cannot hide!

That's quite cute. But there is a reason the punch is free. Others will know what you did and will come for you... in 15 years when you aren't even expecting it. Maybe when you're about to get married, maybe when you're at your son's graduation... You never know.

Cheers friend.

captcha: anchors away

Yep. That's what it feels like if I hit someone.

Oh... and I choose to hit EA. Yes.... I'll hit so hard the entire organization will feel it.

Most of the people who come to mind immediately are people who are personal aquaintances who have wronged me in the past and as such mentioning them will have no effect on anyone here.
But yeah, probaby Justin Bieber. Maybe I can try and aim for his vocal chords, stop him from ever singing again.

danodanz:
Like the title says really.

You have one free punch that can be used on ANYONE. Man, Woman,friend, political figure, celebrity, fictional character (Somehow).

Nobody will question it, nobody will think any more or less of you. All you have is the personal satisfaction of knowing you did it.

Who gets it?

You. People who start "who would you like to do violence to" threads annoy me.

Phasmal:
Wow, I just sat here for a while until I realised I really don't wanna punch anybody.
Maybe I'm just a peace-loving-wuss, but I can't say I have a desire to actually hit anybody.

But, that's not a funny answer, so:
You.
Yes, you.

A jew? But that's anti-semitic! I've lost my faith in you Phasmal :(

OT: I don't really want to hit anyone, but if I had to then probably Anders Breivik, I would love to see the look on his face.

Free punch, huh?

-drinks free punch-

Very nice, thanks for the punch!

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