To Marry an Escapist

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This should be fun! So it's your theoretical wedding day here on the Escapist. Who's your spouse-to-be? Who's your priest/preacher/etc? Who's your best man/bride's maid? You can skip on some of the roles if you wish, but give reasons for your choices!

Considering me and Daystar are going through a divorce right now I think I'd go for SmashLovesTitanQuest next. He seems like he'd make for good dinner conversations and raise the kids to be touch-as-nails mother fuckers! He'd probably beat me when I got out of line though. Well, nobody's perfect.

I think I'd have to go with Nasrin as our priest because she's probably got more experience moderating the community than most and this is pretty much an extreme example of that. Plus she's got blue hair and an awesome cat.

Caramel Frappe would be my best man because he'd be too nice to say anything embarrassing about me during his speech.

MiracleofSound would be the DJ for the reception, obviously.

Aylaine would walk me down the isles for sure. She is the guiding hand after all XD

And of course I'd invite all of you to the reception. I want to see some booze-fueled flame wars! Except for Daystar, sorry bro, but that'd just be too awkward. Plus, Smash might break your face out of jealously or some shit.

Well I'm already internet engaged to Fiz_the_Toaster, but I haven't got much plans beyond Carbonyl planning the ceremony. Can't really decided which of my friends will do what, but I do know there will be gryphons. Anyone care to volunteer their services?

I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

Daystar Clarion:
I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

The obvious solution is to try and take him in the divorce.

Well, I am missing a spuse yet, but I already have some ideas on the other roles:

Best man: matthew94, because he was the first guy I noticed and befriended on these forums.

PsychicTaco115 would be the guy I assign to take care of the bachelor party, he seems as if he knows his way around a party.

If possible, I would like Yahtzee to give a speech and Jimothy Sterling to do the ceremony.

Wedding photographer is BarryPurse, since I enjoyed his portray of myself.

And everyone is invited of course, although I would have to work on the seating arrangements.

Because I want the ceremony and reception to go smooth.
The bachelor party is gonna be where the flamestorm's at.

@Daystar: The obvious solution is either a triangle d'amour or a cage-deathmatch.

Daystar Clarion:
I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

Don't bring our marriage problems out into the public you tramp!

Mortai Gravesend:

Daystar Clarion:
I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

The obvious solution is to try and take him in the divorce.

You can argue a case until the cows come home. I'm hiring you as my lawyer Mortai!

Fappy:

Daystar Clarion:
I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

Don't bring our marriage problems out into the public you tramp!

Mortai Gravesend:

Daystar Clarion:
I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

The obvious solution is to try and take him in the divorce.

You can argue a case until the cows come home. I'm hiring you as my lawyer Mortai!

Then Daystar better get someone able to use the famous "chewbacca"-defense.

Fappy:

Mortai Gravesend:

Daystar Clarion:
I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

The obvious solution is to try and take him in the divorce.

You can argue a case until the cows come home. I'm hiring you as my lawyer Mortai!

Yes! Now I have a job for that Escapist city thread. =D

Fappy:

Daystar Clarion:
I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

Don't bring our marriage problems out into the public you tramp!

Mortai Gravesend:

Daystar Clarion:
I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

The obvious solution is to try and take him in the divorce.

You can argue a case until the cows come home. I'm hiring you as my lawyer Mortai!

image

Mortai is also my lawyer, you can't have him.

Daystar Clarion:
-Snip-

I saw him first! You always get this way about things I have that you don't! >:O

Fappy:
I saw him first! You always get this way about things I have that you don't! >:O

What the hell is this? New avatar?

Stop CHANGING things. How am I supposed to tell you people apart?

Okay, I'll bite.

I get to marry Sassafrass, because then he and I can watch The Scorpion King 3 together until the end of time.

And that, my friends, is the most legitimate reason there is.

BloatedGuppy:

Fappy:
I saw him first! You always get this way about things I have that you don't! >:O

What the hell is this? New avatar?

Stop CHANGING things. How am I supposed to tell you people apart?

Exactly!

I should get first choice, because at least I've kept my avatar integrity!

Those are the rules that I totally didn't just make up.

MadaraXIII will be all of the above, because he's the only person I have consistent relationship with on this forum, and that's only because I knew him before.

ALL OF THE HOMO JOKES.

Fappy:
This should be fun! So it's your theoretical wedding day here on the Escapist. Who's your spouse-to-be? Who's your priest/preacher/etc? Who's your best man/bride's maid? You can skip on some of the roles if you wish, but give reasons for your choices!

Considering me and Daystar are going through a divorce right now I think I'd go for SmashLovesTitanQuest next. He seems like he'd make for good dinner conversations and raise the kids to be touch-as-nails mother fuckers! He'd probably beat me when I got out of line though. Well, nobody's perfect.

I think I'd have to go with Nasrin as our priest because she's probably got more experience moderating the community than most and this is pretty much an extreme example of that. Plus she's got blue hair and an awesome cat.

Caramel Frappe would be my best man because he'd be too nice to say anything embarrassing about me during his speech.

MiracleofSound would be the DJ for the reception, obviously.

Aylaine would walk me down the isles for sure. She is the guiding hand after all XD

And of course I'd invite all of you to the reception. I want to see some booze-fueled flame wars! Except for Daystar, sorry bro, but that'd just be too awkward. Plus, Smash might break your face out of jealously or some shit.

Hmm, my wife would probably be Troublesome Lagomorph

Evil Smurf is my best man!
PsychicTaco115 would definatly be the priest!
Andrewtheevisortator would be the flower girl!
Redlin5 is definatly the DJ!
Fijiman could operate the bar!
Scarim CoralIs the bridesmaid!
Neronium handles the decorations!

Fappy, you greet the guests!

Pfft. Russia is my bride.

(May or may not have been playing a lot of Hearts of Iron 3 lately).

Since I'm pretty anti-romantic relations, I will consider this an evolution of platonic friendship!

For my groom, I shall choose two, cos' fuck the system.
PsychicTaco115 and Secret World Leader (shhh) cos if you gotta marry someone might as well be to great guys with powerful connections.

Your marrying smash off without his consent or knowlege?

image

Hey, hey, guise...What would I be? :D!

I'd quite like to marry Binnsyboy, because he and I had a nice talk about music yesterday..He and I would spend our nights, sitting romantically in a field, gazing at the stars, listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers

*Ahem* No homo...

Marter:
Okay, I'll bite.

I get to marry Sassafrass, because then he and I can watch The Scorpion King 3 together until the end of time.

And that, my friends, is the most legitimate reason there is.

I agree with this.
So I'd marry Marter, just so we could watch SK3 together for the rest of our lives.

The rest of you can argue amongst yourselves as to who does what, as all me and Marter need is the best film ever made.

Probably Hazy992 as we bonded over our fierce love of Sonic The Hedgehog.

What with me being Troy as well, there is only one choice for Best Man and that is 6th And Silver, with Elementary - Dear Watson meaning the next best groomsman

Daystar Clarion would have to be the barman, because then I can make sure there is a good stock of Irn Bru at the event.

And damnit, I have to get DvS BSTrD somehow, because I do love puns. Possibly as the Father of the Bride.

TheFunPolice:

*Ahem* No homo...

I gotta link some boondocks for clarity yo :D

For a spouse I'd choose Herzog Wyrmsyn since me and him are on the same wavelength on a lot of matters.

Best man would be shared between TheDoctor445 and Soviet Heavy as I have worked much on RPs with both these fine gentlemen in the past, also the priest would be PsychicTaco115 since the role just seems to fit him and the bridesmaid i don't know since he's probably the youngest of the users I communicate reguarly with.

Avouleance2nd would operate the bar due to his work in the Pub RP and my fellow role-players Dragonizer, Tips_of_Fingers and Evrant would be ushers.

Guests of honour would include Lucem712, Imthatguy, Secret world leader (shhh), Andrewtheeviscerator and all the other Injustice League villains.

Fuck, I'unno.
Who's got the nicest tits?

Daystar Clarion:
I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

Now now. Theres enough of me for both of you.

What I mean by that is I'm going to be leading an elaborate second life, using frequent business trips as an excuse to leave one of you alone every 2 weeks while I visit the other.

Hey, its fine as long as neither of you ever find out, right?

Fappy:
Plus, Smash might break your face out of jealously or some shit.

I'm ashamed to say this is almost accurate. Almost. I'm not a violent person but I'm a very jealous guy. I try to control it though.

Anyway, I couldn't choose someone from this site to marry, mainly because I hate you all and I would love nothing more than to see you guys suffer horrible deaths I love all of you equally.

Seriously though, I'd have to get some big polygamy going. Theres no way I can choose just one. Daystar, Fappy, Lyri (for kindly correcting me everytime I say something that's plain wrong about DOTA), Rastien, anyone with Geralt in their avatar, everyone from the Total Warriors user group and loads more I'm forgetting right now. .

SmashLovesTitanQuest:

Daystar Clarion:
I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

Now now. Theres enough of me for both of you.

What I mean by that is I'm going to be leading an elaborate second life, using frequent business trips as an excuse to leave one of you alone every 2 weeks while I visit the other.

Hey, its fine as long as neither of you ever find out, right?

Fappy:
Plus, Smash might break your face out of jealously or some shit.

I'm ashamed to say this is almost accurate. Almost. I'm not a violent person but I'm a very jealous guy. I try to control it though.

Anyway, I couldn't choose someone from this site to marry, mainly because I hate you all and I would love nothing more than to see you guys suffer horrible deaths I love all of you equally.

Seriously though, I'd have to get some big polygamy going. Theres no way I can choose just one. Daystar, Fappy, Lyri (for kindly correcting me everytime I say something that's plain wrong about DOTA), Rastien, anyone with Geralt in their avatar, everyone from the Total Warriors user group and loads more I'm forgetting right now. .

We could all move to Utah and form a convent! It would be glorious!

BloatedGuppy:

Fappy:
I saw him first! You always get this way about things I have that you don't! >:O

What the hell is this? New avatar?

Stop CHANGING things. How am I supposed to tell you people apart?

I'm sorry guppy. You are the last person I want to disappoint! HOW CAN I MAKE IT UP TO YOU!?

Fappy:
I'm sorry guppy. You are the last person I want to disappoint! HOW CAN I MAKE IT UP TO YOU!?

Who is this?

Who are you?!

BloatedGuppy:

Fappy:
I'm sorry guppy. You are the last person I want to disappoint! HOW CAN I MAKE IT UP TO YOU!?

Who is this?

Who are you?!

I am the vanguard of your destruction.

Sorry bro.

Well, I think of only one Escapist I'd actually marry. That one. Because they are just incredible like that. Yeah, I love you, I do. Keep being awesome!

DVS BSTrD:
Well I'm already internet engaged to Fiz_the_Toaster, but I haven't got much plans beyond Carbonyl planning the ceremony. Can't really decided which of my friends will do what, but I do know there will be gryphons. Anyone care to volunteer their services?

Dude, Carbonyl already has that planned out.

I was drunk (not really) at the time this was being talked about and even I remember what was going on. Jesus, it's like you don't care.

DoPo:
Well, I think of only one Escapist I'd actually marry. That one. Because they are just incredible like that. Yeah, I love you, I do. Keep being awesome!

I can't wait for someone to fall for this. I hope it's a lurker.

Fiz_The_Toaster:

DVS BSTrD:
Well I'm already internet engaged to Fiz_the_Toaster, but I haven't got much plans beyond Carbonyl planning the ceremony. Can't really decided which of my friends will do what, but I do know there will be gryphons. Anyone care to volunteer their services?

Dude, Carbonyl already has that planned out.

I was drunk (not really) at the time this was being talked about and even I remember what was going on. Jesus, it's like you don't care.

I just said Carbonyl was planning it. Did we have a best man?

Fappy:

DoPo:
Well, I think of only one Escapist I'd actually marry. That one. Because they are just incredible like that. Yeah, I love you, I do. Keep being awesome!

I can't wait for someone to fall for this. I hope it's a lurker.

But I do love everybody. Except for that one person, that is. But everybody else, I adore. :)

DVS BSTrD:

Fiz_The_Toaster:

DVS BSTrD:
Well I'm already internet engaged to Fiz_the_Toaster, but I haven't got much plans beyond Carbonyl planning the ceremony. Can't really decided which of my friends will do what, but I do know there will be gryphons. Anyone care to volunteer their services?

Dude, Carbonyl already has that planned out.

I was drunk (not really) at the time this was being talked about and even I remember what was going on. Jesus, it's like you don't care.

I just said Carbonyl was planning it. Did we have a best man?

Yeah, she said Daystar would.

BreakfastMan would be the DJ, Hazy992 would be the priest, and Carbonyl and Binnsyboy would work with the animals for music and shit.

GOD! I remember why I was drinking when this was going on.

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