Is your virginity worth saving?
Yes, case closed!
21% (138)
21% (138)
No, if you don
78.8% (517)
78.8% (517)
Want to vote? Register now or Sign Up with Facebook
Poll: Is your virginity worth saving?

 Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 NEXT
 

Me and my family have a saying, Marriage and Christmas have a few things in common, unwrapping your present before the big special day is a VERY BAD IDEA! So obviously us all including me say yes, it's definitely worth saving, and I'm still planning on saving my Virginity for my future wife, and for countless other reasons of course, but obviously I'm probably the only that feels this way, so I ask you guys: Do YOU personally feel that your virginity is worth saving, and why?

I was also wondering if you guys also feel that most wives would appreciate the fact that their husbands saved their virginity for them as a gift to her of loyalty, patience and self-disciple; and same for the husbands appreciating the fact that his wife saved her virginity for him as a gift as well.
Last thing where I come from, we believe that fornication is just as bad as Adultery, don't ask me why, I didn't write the Bible, I'm not trying to guilt or convert anyone, I'm just trying to help you guys understand my belief system; the only way I can understand that it says that fornication is just as bad as adultery is, for me I believe that if you have sex before you're married, you're cheating on the one that God has planned for you. So I don't know about you guys but for me I love my wife as much as I can love another person, and I've never even met her yet. At least I don't think so, because I believe that if God wants me to marry, that he'll reward me with the wife that I so dearly desire, as long as I stay faithful to him.

What's with all the weird ass characters in your post? Like... I just don't understand.

I also voted yes in the poll but for reasons that are the opposite of yours.

Virginity is not a tangible thing.
So the concept of saving it for someone is an old and out-dated ideology.

Furthermore, saving it for your future spouse has its own problems.

In this day and age, most people go through more than one marriage, before finally settling down with the right person.
So what do you tell this person? You didn't 'save' it for them...

Sorry No was "if you don't use it, you loose it".

White Lightning:
What's with all the weird ass characters in your post? Like... I just don't understand.

I also voted yes in the poll but for reasons that are the opposite of yours.

Oops I first wrote it on word then copy and pasted it, the site musn't like text from Word, sorry man, I should be more mindful of my presentaition before hand next time, thanks m8.

White Lightning:
What's with all the weird ass characters in your post? Like... I just don't understand.

I also voted yes in the poll but for reasons that are the opposite of yours.

Okay, feel free to share, why do you feel that your virginity is worth saving?

I'd say no. Sex is an extremely intimate experience that really should be shared with someone you care about buuuuut if you have a chance to get laid, why not? Sex feels good and ain't nothing wrong with feeling good.

But then again this is coming from an atheist who lost his virginity as a young teen. I could have waited all the way until I was 18 or 21 and it wouldn't have made any sort of difference in my life.

BangSmashBoom:

White Lightning:
What's with all the weird ass characters in your post? Like... I just don't understand.

I also voted yes in the poll but for reasons that are the opposite of yours.

Okay, feel free to share, why do you feel that your virginity is worth saving?

I guess it's because I had a Bible crammed down my throat as a child, but more so do to the fact that (I think) it's something you should do with someone you care about. Religion (shouldn't) play apart in it. It's more of a... (I hate this word) emotional thing, like you should love someone. Does that mean you should get married first or anything like that? Well no, but your first time should atleast be done with someone you care about. After that it's whatever floats your boat.

---

Do you mean mine personally, or people's in general?

If people want to have sex with various other consenting adults...fine, none of my business. There are arguments that it's best for a couple to sorta know what they are doing on their wedding night.

Now, I don't think randomly having sex with everyone and anyone for its own sake would suit me very well, but that's not to say that applies to everyone.

Your virginity only has the value you attribute to it.

Unless you're an attractive girl. In which case, Japanese and Middle Eastern businessmen will pay a steeeep price for it.

Don't save it everyone who says save it is not thinking clearly.
What happens if you save it then you sleep with your now wife and the sex is damn terrible and after that the second time its damn worse. Some people are just not sexually compatible. and anyone who say "love will get you through it" is fooling themselves a marriage without decent sex is doomed period.

TopazFusion:
Virginity is not a tangible thing.
So the concept of saving it for someone is an old and out-dated ideology.

what I was going to say

it has no value to me therefore no..it is not woth "saving" for anything

Genuine Evil:
Sex stopped being a binary 'in and out' system whose sole purpose is to deliver children, and has now become a recreational activity people do to unwind and relieve stress. If it's not your thing, fine , but I see little point in trying to hold on to something so intangible as virginity

it never was actually...the ancient romans were into sex..I hear they didn't have concepts of "straight and gay" but "submissive and dominant"

TaintedSaint:
Some people are just not sexually compatible. and anyone who say "love will get you through it" is fooling themselves a marriage without decent sex is doomed period.

This is of course, laughably false, but there are plenty of cases in which sex would help.

No.
I see no reason to wait with sex until marriage, just as I see no reason to even get married.

Sex is a wonderful thing, and it you should have sex.
That's not to say you should sleep around with whomever and whenever, but being in a relationship for years without sex is just ridiculous.

Sex is like any other thing everyone should know how to do well, like swimming or riding a bike, If you don't practice you'll never be any good.

I've always seen it as a boulder I'm carrying on my back. I'd rather be rid of it and not have to suffer under society's judgment than treasure it for that special someone, who'll probably think I'm a weirdo anyway for not having lost it yet.

That doesn't mean I'd go to the nearest streetwalker though.

Nope. From my point of view, it's just something you're constantly looked down upon for. Is that a good thing? Hell no. But people ain't gonna change. Reality doesn't really matter as far as how people see you goes, only their perception of it, and the perception is that if you're older than 16 and still a virgin, you're a fucking loser.

Now the problem is, how to lose it. Virgin=loser. Loser=unattractive. Unattractive=unlikely to lose virginity. See where the problem comes in here?

Sex started getting better after the first few times. I think people should hurry up and get the first time over with, it usually sucks.

I always have a joke about it, "I didn't lose my virginity til the second time I had sex". The first time when so horribly that I wouldn't even call it sex.

I personally would never get married before having sex, well....I would only get married if I was deeply in love, so it wouldn't be out of the question, but I obviously don't still have my virginity.

Oh Gawd.

What the hell for? God doesn't give you bonus XP for "saving yourself" for "that special someone".

Hell, wouldn't you prefer to actually know what you were doing when/if you do finally encounter Mr/Miss Right?

I guess it depends. If you want to do the whole "saving it for the right girl" thing go ahead, I just wouldn't do it just because you can't get laid. If you can't get laid but deep down you want to, do something about it, don't bullshit yourself.

Only you can answer that question, my son.

...oh, do I personally feel that my virginity would be worth saving if that ship hadn't sailed a looooong time ago? No.

When you're young you are both inevitably going to be shit at sex, but it doesn't matter, you can work it out together and you are both so clueless you probably won't realise how bad you are at it. The older you get the less likely you are going to find someone as crap in bed as you are. Sure if they really love you they'll get over it and there's something to be said for the fun of training someone up, but generally it's nice to be able to satisfy your partner and that takes practice, especially if you're a dude.

Also I don't believe in god and virginity as a concept to me is worthless. It is simply the state of not having had sex yet.

Now if you think god says otherwise and you don't care about any of that and find someone who thinks likewise then good for you, but me, nope.

Virginity is your business. It's to be discussed with the one you love.

If you're some middle eastern (or whatever she was) prostitute, then yes, because you can get three quarters of a million bucks if you use it at the right time.
Personally? I don't think I'm going to shag some random hooker off the street but I'm not planning on saving myself for "the one".

Needs a `Don't care either way` thing.
Virginity is what you make of it.

I don't really care what others do with theirs.
Personally I think it doesn't matter. I wouldn't have `saved for marriage` because I do believe that sexual compatibility is important, and I'd wanna know that stuff before marriage. But if people wanna save theirs, good for them.

Of course not. There's something dehumanising about placing too great a value on virginity. It's like you don't care about them as a person because now they are used goods, whereas you wanted a partner who was brand new.

BangSmashBoom:

Me and my family have a saying, Marriage and Christmas have a few things in common, unwrapping your present before the big special day is a VERY BAD IDEA! So obviously us all including me say yes, it's definitely worth saving, and I'm still planning on saving my virginity for my future wife, and for countless other reasons of course, but obviously I am probably the only one that feels this way, so I ask you guys do YOU personally feel that your virginity is worth saving, and why?
I was also wondering if you guys also feel that most wives would appreciate the fact that their husbands saved their virginity for them as a gift to her of loyalty, patience and self-disciple; and same for the husbands appreciating the fact that his wife saved her virginity for him as a gift as well.
Last thing where I come from, we believe that fornication is just as bad as Adultery, don't ask me why, I didn't write the Bible and I am not trying to guilt or convert anyone, I am just trying to help you guys understand my belief system; the only way I can understand that it says that fornication is just as bad as adultery is, for me I believe that if you have sex before you are married, you are cheating on the one that God has planned for you, so I don't know about you guys but for me I love my wife as much as I can love another person, and I have never even met her yet or at least I don't think so, because I believe that if God wants me to marry, that he'll reward me with the wife that I so dearly desire, as long as I stay faithful to him.

Fixed it for you, you're welcome.
Please copy that into the OP.
Pretty please?

My take:
God will not simply deliver a wife to your doorstep one day, you ought to get out there and actively look for her.
Your virginity is yours to do with as you please, so whatever seems right to you is the right thing to do.
Just don't go around judging others.

BangSmashBoom:
Sorry No was "if you don't use it, you loose it".

I vote 'no', but I don't want to vote for your 'no, if you don't use it you lose it' option because I don't think that, either.

You know the difference between when I lost my virginity and when I have sex now, six years and four boyfriends later? There is none. I adore my current boyfriend as much as I adored my first boyfriend. I'm still fond of all the guys I've slept with and was fully willing to share in those experiences with them, so have nothing to regret. Pick sexual partners that you trust and like, for sure, but it's really not that big a deal if they're not going to be the person that you're with for ever and ever.

In fact, if anything, I'm against the notion of saving yourself for marriage, although Tainted Saint has already covered this point. For most couples, sexual compatibility is what makes the difference between being good friends and being romantic partners. Sex is so important in marriage that you actually have to have sex with each other for it to count, hence the ability to annul a marriage if it's never consummated. What happens if you legally bind yourself to someone you've never slept with before only to discover that you have completely different tastes and needs in the bedroom?

manic_depressive13:
Of course not. There's something dehumanising about placing too great a value on virginity. It's like you don't care about them as a person because now they are used goods, whereas you wanted a partner who was brand new.

This, very much. I've heard people use the analogy that our bodies are 'a temple, not to be defiled'. How is a person 'defiling' themselves by taking part in an enjoyable and intimate activity (that has multiple emotional and physical health benefits, I might add)? So long as everyone is responsible and takes precautions with regards to STDs (and pregnancy if they're not up for having a babby any time soon) of course.

As a guy, I say hell no. Virginity is a horrible stigma that needs to be eradicated, at least for a guy it is. I can't speak for the opposite sex but I'm guessing it may be a different story.

But anyone who says a guy's virginity is worth saving is bullshitting.

To be perfectly honest, nah. Virginity isn't anything special, just means you haven't screwed before. The important lesson that generally goes with it though is special. You know, don't go lay with someone just because you want to lose it. Lay with someone for a decent reason, and make sure you actually want it.

Thats kind of a lesson you should apply to sex in general. There is no point screwing someone because you feel like you have to, or because of peer pressure. Make sure what you do with your body is what you want to do. Failure to do that is as much a crime against your self as the one you are sleeping with.

No i don't think its worth saving, for many reasons.
1) Its a natural and biological part of our human instinct. Sexual repression is harmful and can seriously scar you for life.
2) 'Virginity' really doesn't make much sense. If you put it in a little, but not fully, are you a virgin? If a girl gets fingered, surely shes lost her virginity, as shes still being entered. See as its an intangible thing, its more of an opinion. It only has the value you give it.
3) Some people are not sexually compatible. Period. You cannot argue this. And that is an awkward thing to divorce for, as previous posters are right, marriage without sex is hell on earth.

Of course i'm a free thinking athiest so this kind of thing is quite clear to me, but if girls want to save their virginity, thats fine, just stay away from me.

FalloutJack:
Virginity is your business. It's to be discussed with the one you love.

This guy wins.

And I agree with him. Whenever you want to have sex is your choice...you shouldn't feel weird for not having sex right away like most people these days. I say have sex when you feel conformable with your parter or yourself.

Its entirely your choice...not everyone elses. XD

For me...well I'll do it when I'm comfortable. I'll only do it with person I truly love and know that I will spend my life with.

You know, I've come to believe that waiting until you're married to have sex might be among the worst decisions you could make about sex. Think about it for a second: if you're marrying someone, presumably, you should be looking to spend the rest of your life with them. So what if you never have sex before the big day and that night when you do, it's terrible? And what if it's not just first time awkwardness that's the problem, but it just never gets better because you don't mesh well in the bedroom? Sex is a pretty important thing in a marriage, like it or not, so wouldn't you rather find out that it's not going to work before making a very expensive commitment that's a pain in the ass to get out of? I'm not even saying you have to jump the bones of everyone you date, but if you've gotten to the point where asking the person to marry you is a real consideration, it's time to head to the bedroom and start taking off some clothes.

Virginity to me is nothing special. It's not some gift of loyalty or any other thing people tell themselves to convince them that it's important and something to be cherished. A healthy sex life between two people who love each other is far more important, and the only thing being a virgin tells me is the first time's going to be pretty damn awkward, but at least they aren't disease addled I suppose.

Nope, saved my virginity for the guy I was engaged to, he turned out to be a wife beating bastard.

Not to be cynical and bitter but people live much longer than they used to. Expecting someone to be the same person and never change for 50 odd years is pretty crazy. Not to mention you might change too.

That said sex gets much better in a long term relationship. I have nothing against those ;)

Save your virginity or not doesn't bother me. But be careful of thinking that the person you lose it with will be around forever because shit happens, usually to good people.

No. What's the point? People's obsession with it is, if anything, a little creepy.

hazabaza1:
If you're some middle eastern (or whatever she was) prostitute, then yes, because you can get three quarters of a million bucks if you use it at the right time.
Personally? I don't think I'm going to shag some random hooker off the street but I'm not planning on saving myself for "the one".

Brazilian, I think. Heh.

 Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Registered for a free account here