Is your virginity worth saving?
Yes, case closed!
21% (138)
21% (138)
No, if you don
78.5% (515)
78.5% (515)
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Poll: Is your virginity worth saving?

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Saving your virginity until you meet "the one" is like avoiding all the Roller Coasters in Alton Towers until you get to go on Oblivion.

Sex has two functions - pleasure and reproduction, we can stop the second function these days, so there's no reason not to get the first function where you can.

Edit - Also, I find that the idea of saving ones virginity is usually based in some sort of Religious code. As with all religious things I think that it's fine for other people to do it, as long as they don't, under any circumstances, try to shove it down my throat.

Yes, I'm one of those people that thinks Religion is the devil (geddit?).

It's intimate, and you'll likely remember it. So do it with someone you truly care about; in hindsight your first time would probably preferably not have been a one-night-stand.

PS:

Besides that: I do not share your belief system, and thus haven't taken it into account in my answer. I do think there are many good reasons to wait for a specific situation before you do it for the first time. It should be when you're with someone you trust and are comfortable with. When you mutually want it and care for each other, and when you have some form of protection on hand. Those things will all help ensure a good time, a good memory, and prevent unwanted consequences.

It should not necessarily be after marriage, or postponed out of fear of god. Those seem like silly reasons, I'd say, by comparison to what I mentioned above.

TopazFusion:
Virginity is not a tangible thing.
So the concept of saving it for someone is an old and out-dated ideology.

Furthermore, saving it for your future spouse has its own problems.

In this day and age, most people go through more than one marriage, before finally settling down with the right person.
So what do you tell this person? You didn't 'save' it for them...

Agreed.

Mine was gone so fast I didn't even have time to give it my home address so it could send me a postcard.

Casual Shinji:
I've always seen it as a boulder I'm carrying on my back. I'd rather be rid of it and not have to suffer under society's judgment than treasure it for that special someone, who'll probably think I'm a weirdo anyway for not having lost it yet.

That doesn't mean I'd go to the nearest streetwalker though.

Geez dude, don't do that to yourself.

You know, your first time isn't going to be some earth-shattering, world-changing experience. You're most likely going to walk away saying "so that's it huh?". It'll be fun, it'll feel good but since you've never done it, you're not really going to know what you like or what he/she likes. I "lost my virginity" to someone I cared about but it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things; that was many years ago and we had an acrimonious break-up.

Until you're truly comfortable with yourself and your sexuality, you're only ever going to see it as a check in the box as opposed to the pleasurable and intimate experience it truly is.

Moonlight Butterfly:

Macgyvercas:

Moonlight Butterfly:

Why smart exactly? I don't see how that's a factor. You basically just called anyone who has had sex with more than one person stupid :p

Then I'm wording it wrong. That wasn't my intent. I should have said smart for what is in my best interests.

Point is, I'm in no financial condition to risk pregnancy, and neither is she. Yes, I know birth control options exist, but there are always chances that they fail. So quite frankly it's a hell of a lot easier to just avoid the whole possibility.

As for people who have sex with multiple partners, far be it from me to judge. Hell, go for it. Have a blast. Just be responsible about it. STDs are not to be fucked with (pun completely intentional).

Fair enough, that makes a bit more sense.

I just want to make a point unrelated to your post. If a girl is on birth control that doesn't make her a 'slut who sleeps around'. There are many female only conditions that can only be treated by it such as endometriosis. Just keep that in mind when you get to know a girl guys.

Oh, I'm aware that birth control is used for more than preventing pregnancy. I must say, kudos to science for finding more than one use for something that was designed with one use in mind.

euh... no. thats like playing russian roulette only there are five bullets in the gun. sex is a very important part of a relationship. getting married to find out your future sexlife is going to suck... well that must be hell. and i know you have no way to reference good and bad sex if you are a virgin. trust me on this one. a virgin can find sex baaaaad. (my first gf was REALLY bad in the sack).

TopazFusion:
Virginity is not a tangible thing.
So the concept of saving it for someone is an old and out-dated ideology.

Furthermore, saving it for your future spouse has its own problems.

In this day and age, most people go through more than one marriage, before finally settling down with the right person.
So what do you tell this person? You didn't 'save' it for them...

this, more or less, its just and out dated sentiment any more

i say yes, its worth saving because its literally the most personal thing you do with another person. why would you give away something so special away like that? im 24 years old and proudly still a virgin, anyone who says otherwise well, enjoy you're STD's if and when you eventually get them.

that's another thing thing, so many people sleep with random people and they dont even bloody know each other at all. i'd rather sleep with a person i know everything about and want to spend the rest of my life with. its safer, and if you do get the life breaking of an unwanted
child then you can afford to raise it properly unlike so many accident moms who create the burdens of society.

Also, i am not religious, so nothing has soiled my logical brain. except the soils of human life which tells my logical brain to wait for the right person to sleep with and spend my life with. so ....there...

who needs sex then you can just play on your pc some more?

no im not joking

Saving your virginity for someone that you really care about is fine, but why wait until marriage? Why make the biggest commitment before you know if the sex is good? Some people want very different things in sex and are sexually incompatible.

Ashadowpie:
im 24 years old and proudly still a virgin, anyone who says otherwise well, enjoy you're STD's if and when you eventually get them.

Anyone who isn't a virgin will get an STD?
Clearly your brain is super-logical.

---

See, this is why I don't like this conversation.
It becomes all or nothing.
You're either a virgin til you get married or sleeping with everyone.

This is quite obviously not how it works.

There are people who have casual sex, there are `everything-but` virgins, there are people who only have sex in long term relationships and then there are people who would be happy to die a virgin.
There is a whole rainbow of fucking and not-fucking.

*Quick edit: Everything below the line is not aimed at you, but at this conversation in general.

Or to catch up with the christmas analogy: Ever opened a really nice looking present, which you had to fight your inner demon not to open it beforehand, just to find out there are just a pair of socks in it?

Sucks, right?

Interesting question. I do plan to save myself until I'm with "the one" (21 now). I know it's a tad archaic and unrealistic, but its a decision I made long ago. It's not from a religious perspective in my case, just a sense of loyalty to that person I guess.

Then again, the fact that I'm gay means that
1) no-one I could date will likely agree, and
2) I'm going to hell anyway

So I don't know why I bother. But whatever.

Only if the person in question actually wants to save it. Ultimately, it's their body and their choice and they shouldn't be judged for it. Personally, however, I think the concept of virginity is outdated and sexist.

I think it has different meanings for men and women.

I plan to because of religious beliefs, but if you don't, that's your business.
Kind of sucks though, because I hate, like, uber Christian, bible-thumping types, but it seems like that's the only kind of girl who'll be cool with it. Guess I'll die alone and a virgin...

TBH I was surprised that nearly 20% of people thought so, I thought it'd be way lower.

BangSmashBoom:
Me and my family have a saying, ˇ§Marriage and Christmas have a few things in common, unwrapping your present before the big special day is a ˇ§VERY BAD IDEA!ˇ¨

I have a saying too:

You wouldn't buy a car without a test drive.

You wouldn't buy a dress (or suit for you guys) without trying it on.

Why would you make the most important decision in your life without making sure you and your partner are compatible?

Virginity = Ignorance. Don't get married while ignorant.

Goofguy:

Casual Shinji:
I've always seen it as a boulder I'm carrying on my back. I'd rather be rid of it and not have to suffer under society's judgment than treasure it for that special someone, who'll probably think I'm a weirdo anyway for not having lost it yet.

That doesn't mean I'd go to the nearest streetwalker though.

Geez dude, don't do that to yourself.

You know, your first time isn't going to be some earth-shattering, world-changing experience. You're most likely going to walk away saying "so that's it huh?". It'll be fun, it'll feel good but since you've never done it, you're not really going to know what you like or what he/she likes. I "lost my virginity" to someone I cared about but it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things; that was many years ago and we had an acrimonious break-up.

Until you're truly comfortable with yourself and your sexuality, you're only ever going to see it as a check in the box as opposed to the pleasurable and intimate experience it truly is.

I know that at some point I'm gonna have to say 'fuck it' (figuratively speaking) and stop having it hold me back from simply living my life. But the whole "get on it, else you're a loser" message seems to be everywhere, which I wouldn't even mind so much if I knew the bulk of this problem didn't lie with me. Or if I was asexual.

Not really.

The lost it to a girl I thought I loved, but in retrospect I was probably more flattered than anything - I'm not sure I even found her that desirable physically, let alone the love of my life.

The sex I've had since then was, depending on the person, more romantic, more meaningful, and felt generally more fun. How many times has your first go at something turned out perfect? You have no other perspective to judge it from.

If your 'first time' was the best sex you've ever had, you're probably doing it wrong.

Ashadowpie:
i say yes, its worth saving because its literally the most personal thing you do with another person. why would you give away something so special away like that? im 24 years old and proudly still a virgin, anyone who says otherwise well, enjoy you're STD's if and when you eventually get them.

A few things;

#1 - It's as personal as you make it. There's even a hint in the name. Even my most romantic and passionate sex I would say was hovering around the same point as when I cried in front of my closest friend in terms of personal impact.

#2 - Would you mind if I ask why you are proud to be a virgin? I mean, unless you don't ever want to have sex in your entire life then surely losing your virginity to someone you want now would be better than later?

#3 - I don't see how waiting any longer to have sex would make me less likely to get an STD - it's not like they expire or anything. That's just a mean stereotype, like suggesting you're just a jealous person with no charisma because you haven't lost your virginity - it'd be unfair and plain stupid to suggest that's the reason when we don't personally know each other.

It's worth saving until you're mature enough to make long-term decisions. It's worth saving until you're with someone who cares about you, rather than merely wants to have sex (and until you're with someone you care about, not just wanting to have sex.)

Waiting until marriage I'm far more uneasy about. It seems like a great way to live your life with a lot of unanswered questions, not to mention rolling the dice as far as you and your spouse actually being sexually compatible. There are a lot of shades and flavors of sexuality out there.

I'm saving it until I find a girl that I really love, but after I find her I'm not going to wait until marriage.

I'm saving mine til I fall in love with a guy. He doesn't have to be "the one", but I don't want to look back at my first time and have it be with some random drunk dude at a party. I feel like the poll options are rather black and white.

I believed it was, up until I damaged my relationship with my wife by waiting until we were married. Completely idiotic to put an artificial barrier between you and the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. She wasn't resentful or angry or anything, our relationship was simply forced down a path that it shouldn't have been and it's impacted the rest of our lives.

Conversely, I'm pretty damned happy I didn't sleep with anyone else, so..

I'm a female virgin and I'm in my 20s, though it's less because I value my virginity highly and more because I'm just not sexually interested (I'm asexual)...and I don't like children. Perhaps I'm not the right one to be commenting on this kind of thread.

I honestly don' care about virginity. I mean, it would suck if you lost your virginity in some drunk one-night-stand with some shlub, but what's done is done. The only thing that "sex after marriage" has for an advantage is that if your birth control fails (and it does. I know someone who all 3 kids were conceived through at least one method of birth control at once), you'll have more legal and financial legs to stand on.

But meh, two healthy consenting adults. *shrugs*.

EDIT: After posting I remembered an episode of King of the Hill where Luanne wanted to marry a dude she just met just so God can be AOK with them having sex (and not much else). That actually disturbs me more than sex before marriage.

Well I don't think it should be given away to just anyone, I think the person should mean something to you. And when I say "mean something to you" I mean something much deeper than mere friendship.

Just what I want on my wedding night, akward, horrible, terrible sex. Nobody's first time is good, so why not get the feel of it before that and make the night extra special.

EDIT: Also, sexuality is a part of a healthy loving relationship so by waiting you could find that you are very sexually incompatible and be SOL. Yes there are other factors so if you could communicate it could be better but otherwise it would be kind of a downer to have someone who isn't into the same things or just no fun, unless thats ur thing too.

wish there was a middle of the road option.

What are you saving it for?
On the other side of that coin, why are you in a rush?

Me and my wife, had a very intimate relationship before marriage. In some circles this was wrong, in others a perfectly natural growth of a relationship.

Depends, we didn't save it for each other. More often then not I often hear of stories of regret, that the person most people give it too, ended up being the wrong person.

I'm also very well aware there is a thing called "sexual compatibility" which is hard if you don't "try it" first. Ask any girl to compare her "first time" and her "first orgasm" there is a very big difference there. A lot of women, specifically before sexual liberation never actually experienced the grand finale. the whole sham-bang if you will. Some girls (and all men) don't even know what the female orgasm is like. This has many roots in puritanism that states (if its fun and enjoyable, more then likely evil) which in it self is wrong.

Avoiding the desire go any deeper, lets just say, when it comes to my daughter... I rather her save it for one thing, and the only thing that important in a relationship. Love. REAL love. If you are to save it for anything, save it for love. If that means marriage in your lexicon, then thats what it means, if not, well continue on to whatever makes you happy. Be in love, and enjoy that love, physical or not.

Yeah, save it for love, and marriage =/= love. Love can be the key to a successful marriage, but not all marriages are sought out of love. Some are per-arranged in some cultures, some people marry out of "lust" because their culture will not have any other way. Some people marry out socio-economic reasons, or political clout. Save it for love, and only love. Which is a very real thing, an emotion more important to humanity then any other.

EDIT: I forgot to mention... USE PROTECTION. No matter what! Take it from a father, Kid's newborns especially are tough. This is really important for both people's health. on top that, to avoid the debate all together on abortion. Remember no matter your feelings on it, it is a very traumatic thing for a woman to go through for any reason. I've never experienced this first hand, but women in my life have. None of them are happy with the experience. So dudes, if you give two shits, wrap your junk. IF you don't, wrap it anyways.

interesting question. i have no answer. i'm not sure what "waiting" means here. that needs more explaining before i can answer. what's the opposite of waiting? not-waiting? how do you do that? just run out and find somebody to fxxx? i'm not even sure if that's possible. its very difficult to find someone to be with for many teens so... the whole concept doesnt make much sense to me.

p.s. girls don't dig virgins guys most of the time. this is why most teen guys would lie and say they did it before even when they didnt.

figures a christian starts a topic like this. enjoy your boring life :P
(im just teasing, not trying to offend you xP)

EDIT:
thinking more about this, i'd say that it's important to at least care about the person you are doing it with. that goes for any time you do it, whether it's the first time or the last time. that's my answer. may not be what you were looking for though :P

If you examine the logic behind it, it's somewhat ridiculous to save gifts for Christmas day, especially when you prepare them far in advance. Why would you hide something away in a closet to gain pleasure after one arbitrary day instead of being ready to give it to them when they ask for it? For example, if got your best friend the Wii U that they're longing for you shouldn't hide it away so that after one prescribed day they can enjoy it. You both could be playing with it right now and having a blast.

There is the matter of anticipation, but depending on Christmas day to generate anticipation doesn't help you get better at giving gifts. It actually stunts your development. If you were giving gifts organically you'd learn how to generate anticipation so you can give it when you want, and you'll be able to read your recipient so you know what to give them and the best time to do it. As an added your partner will be able to read you and give you gifts as you desire them.

I'm generally a very progressive/liberal guy, but I'm surprisingly conservative in that particular issue, in a sentimentalist way.

All this talk about how it is just a biological issue, and about test drives, and compatibility, just makes me incredibly sad.

By the way, does that "compatibility" thing really work that way? As an asexual virgin, I wouldn't know, but I mustly keep hearing about it from A)concerned virgins, B) people who didn't wait themselves.

But outside of soap movies, I didn't ever hear about a case where two people were attracted to each other, intimate in kissing, hugging, etc, both excited about their first time, then months/years later, they were surprised to figure out that they are "not compatible". Just like that.

From the direct records of those who really weren't compatible, it seems to be more of a generic thing for the kind of people who wouldn't touch each other with a 10 foot pole to begin with, not for lovestruck virgin couples.

I like drinking, fighting and fucking.

So yeah, I don't see the point in saving it at all.
Sex is great, you shouldn't be ashamed about your sexual activities with a partner or other partners.

Captcha: Patience child.
I did laugh at that one.

It's worth keeping in very specific situations, like if you've been chosen to be the Bride of Kong and he'll smash your village and kill everyone you know if you're not a virgin. Otherwise, do what you feel is right for you.

For the record, I'm still a virgin at twenty. It's not because I value my virginity very highly. Hell, I've spent most of my life in the Catholic school system, and I find the whole brouhaha about it to be rather silly. My lingering virginity is more a product of my subpar social skills than anything else. It would take a very special person to deal with that long enough to even consider sex with me, so I'd probably hang on to that person for as long as I could.

However, I'm finding the very definition of virginity to be an increasingly murky thing. For example, we live in world where you can go on the internet, and start a private web cam show with another person, and get each other off without any physical contact. The line between virginity and the lack thereof is blurrier than ever to me.

I wish I was Christian so I could use it as an excuse, like plenty of Christians do, for why I'm a virgin.

Moonlight Butterfly:

Fair enough, that makes a bit more sense.

I just want to make a point unrelated to your post. If a girl is on birth control that doesn't make her a 'slut who sleeps around'. There are many female only conditions that can only be treated by it such as endometriosis. Just keep that in mind when you get to know a girl guys.

Or she's just on it to protect herself. I don't see why you have to justify being on the pill with illness, it's just good sense.
I've been on the pill for nearly 5 years and I don't see why that would alter someone's opinion of me.

Colour-Scientist:

Moonlight Butterfly:

Fair enough, that makes a bit more sense.

I just want to make a point unrelated to your post. If a girl is on birth control that doesn't make her a 'slut who sleeps around'. There are many female only conditions that can only be treated by it such as endometriosis. Just keep that in mind when you get to know a girl guys.

Or she's just on it to protect herself. I don't see why you have to justify being on the pill with illness, it's just good sense.
I've been on the pill for nearly 5 years and I don't see why that would alter someone's opinion of me.

I'm saying that there some people who think things like that, they shouldn't, in my opinion but I can't exactly tell them how to think :/

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