Is your virginity worth saving?
Yes, case closed!
21% (138)
21% (138)
No, if you don
78.4% (514)
78.4% (514)
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Poll: Is your virginity worth saving?

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It's a personal choice and it's all based on perspective.
No one here views sex the same way or feels the exact same way about it.

I have done things...but am still a virgin and want to give myself to the man I love because I think of it as an intimate act that I want to share with someone I love, and care about. Marriage itself is not important, what is important is emotional commitment.

Sexual acts are always fun, but there's a magic when it's with someone you care about even if it goes horribly it can still be kind of fun at least when you look back on it.

To each their own

I don't think saving yourself for your marriage partner is a) practical or realistic b) a good idea. Now I have no idea how old you are but it's very easy to say you'll wait when you're young, but it's A LOT HARDER than you think it'll be. Plus even if you do manage to wait, what if you're not sexually compatible. It's hard to have a healthy relationship when the sex is bad, and without sexual experience with that partner it's impossible to tell if you'll be a good match sexually. That's a pretty big risk to take, make a life long commitment to somebody without knowing if you'll click in bed.

The whole idea of saving yourself seems incredibly naive.

Well, I'm waiting until I find someone I have an emotional connection with, mostly because finding casual sex somewhere just feels like the cheap way of going about it and kinda devalues the whole intimacy thing, but I'm definitely not looking to wait until marriage or whatever. Screw that.

(Plus, I don't follow your God and think that whole 'as God intended' thing is complete nonsense. You going to let some strange entity whose very existence is doubtful dictate how you live your life? Make your own choices.)

dagens24:
I don't think saving yourself for your marriage partner is a) practical or realistic b) a good idea. Now I have no idea how old you are but it's very easy to say you'll wait when you're young, but it's A LOT HARDER than you think it'll be. Plus even if you do manage to wait, what if you're not sexually compatible. It's hard to have a healthy relationship when the sex is bad, and without sexual experience with that partner it's impossible to tell if you'll be a good match sexually. That's a pretty big risk to take, make a life long commitment to somebody without knowing if you'll click in bed.

The whole idea of saving yourself seems incredibly naive.

Personally I think if you love someone it wouldnt matter how they are in bed. Call me naive or whatever but I dont care how they uh preform in bed as long as i love them thats not going to change cause of sex. Please forgive my bad grammar and stuff im freaking tired lol

Okay? Clearly most of you are all as you people call it "Atheists", but to tell you guys the truth I'm proud of being a virgin, I've got a good reputation at church, I have lots of supportive friends there, I've been doing jr youth group for a while now and I'm going to be promoted to teen doing youth group next year, I have a bright future ahead of me and I personally feel that I don't need any form of sex in my life right now, and if I am to do so it'd have quality over quantity only with my wife.

"But m8, what about the sexual compatablity?" 'bout that well resently I've been going wife hunting and honestly it felt like a burden, so I put it in God's hands and I feel that we made an agreement that, when I'm ready for a woman that my wife will have everything I need in a woman, and yes that includes me not having to ruin the surprise to know if she's my type or not, why and how?

Because I have FAITH in my God, that if I follow the path that he has set out for me, that he will give me all that I'll need, IT'S ALL JUST SIMPLE FAITH, it's MY leap of faith that I'M taking because I trust in my loving God, okay?

To some of you guys faith is just another lucky dip, even if it is, I'd have plenty of time to learn from my mistakes which is what life is all about.

I'm not posting to judge or to shame, all I'm trying to say is that I'm taking a leap of faith that I believe that will pay off at the end.

White Lightning:

BangSmashBoom:

White Lightning:
What's with all the weird ass characters in your post? Like... I just don't understand.

I also voted yes in the poll but for reasons that are the opposite of yours.

Okay, feel free to share, why do you feel that your virginity is worth saving?

I guess it's because I had a Bible crammed down my throat as a child, but more so do to the fact that (I think) it's something you should do with someone you care about. Religion (shouldn't) play apart in it. It's more of a... (I hate this word) emotional thing, like you should love someone. Does that mean you should get married first or anything like that? Well no, but your first time should atleast be done with someone you care about. After that it's whatever floats your boat.

Problem is that sex is supposed to be an enjoyable experience, and if you are a complete amateur in bed, then the "special one" you've been saving it for is likely going to end up somewhat disappointed.

Sex is no different than any other discipline, in that practice makes perfect. IMO, you'll be doing both yourself and your partner a bigger favor by being able to have a really enjoyable act rather than telling them that they're your first.

I'm not saying you should screw anything with a pulse. But sexual experience is a huge boon.

kenu12345:

dagens24:
I don't think saving yourself for your marriage partner is a) practical or realistic b) a good idea. Now I have no idea how old you are but it's very easy to say you'll wait when you're young, but it's A LOT HARDER than you think it'll be. Plus even if you do manage to wait, what if you're not sexually compatible. It's hard to have a healthy relationship when the sex is bad, and without sexual experience with that partner it's impossible to tell if you'll be a good match sexually. That's a pretty big risk to take, make a life long commitment to somebody without knowing if you'll click in bed.

The whole idea of saving yourself seems incredibly naive.

Personally I think if you love someone it wouldnt matter how they are in bed. Call me naive or whatever but I dont care how they uh preform in bed as long as i love them thats not going to change cause of sex. Please forgive my bad grammar and stuff im freaking tired lol

Have you, by chance, ever had sex? I ask because it's easy to say something isn't important to you when you've never experienced it. If you have and you're saying that if you love somebody you can get past not being sexually attracted to them well that's fine, but I would say that you're probably in the majority. For most people sex is a HUGE part of life and having a healthy sex life with a partner is a very important part of a healthy relationship. Like I said, for MOST people.

BangSmashBoom:
Okay? Clearly most of you are all as you people call it "Atheists", but to tell you guys the truth I'm proud of being a virgin, I've got a good reputation at church, I have lots of supportive friends there, I've been doing jr youth group for a while now and I'm going to be promoted to teen doing youth group next year, I have a bright future ahead of me and I personally feel that I don't need any form of sex in my life right now, and if I am to do so it'd have quality over quantity only with my wife.

"But m8, what about the sexual compatablity?" 'bout that well resently I've been going wife hunting and honestly it felt like a burden, so I put it in God's hands and I feel that we made an agreement that, when I'm ready for a woman that my wife will have everything I need in a woman, and yes that includes me not having to ruin the surprise to know if she's my type or not, why and how?

Because I have FAITH in my God, that if I follow the path that he has set out for me, that he will give me all that I'll need, IT'S ALL JUST SIMPLE FAITH, it's MY leap of faith that I'M taking because I trust in my loving God, okay?

To some of you guys faith is just another lucky dip, even if it is, I'd have plenty of time to learn from my mistakes which is what life is all about.

I'm not posting to judge or to shame, all I'm trying to say is that I'm taking a leap of faith that I believe that will pay off at the end.

Hey, whatever floats your boat. I think your reasons are terrible, but they are your reasons. It's your life to live (or not live, hey-o!). I, however, will be having a lot of fantastic sex in the mean time :D

Athinira:

White Lightning:

BangSmashBoom:

Okay, feel free to share, why do you feel that your virginity is worth saving?

I guess it's because I had a Bible crammed down my throat as a child, but more so do to the fact that (I think) it's something you should do with someone you care about. Religion (shouldn't) play apart in it. It's more of a... (I hate this word) emotional thing, like you should love someone. Does that mean you should get married first or anything like that? Well no, but your first time should atleast be done with someone you care about. After that it's whatever floats your boat.

Problem is that sex is supposed to be an enjoyable experience, and if you are a complete amateur in bed, then the "special one" you've been saving it for is likely going to end up somewhat disappointed.

Sex is no different than any other discipline, in that practice makes perfect. IMO, you'll be doing both yourself and your partner a bigger favor by being able to have a really enjoyable act rather than telling them that they're your first.

I'm not saying you should screw anything with a pulse. But sexual experience is a huge boon.

I've thought about this, but too be honest how hard can it actually be? I mean can the other person not give direction? I dunno but I don't see being good at it as that big of a hurtle. I imagine it would be like riding a bike, it's not all that hard to figure out if you've got someone teaching you.

Or I may be wrong eniterly and setting myself up for an extremly embarrassing moment in the future...

My stance:

The surest protection is abstinence. That said, sex that doesn't involve penetration works just as well (and has done so in the past for me). I look at it this way: if/when I do get married, my foreplay is going to be really good to make up for it.

For all of those who say shitty sex makes for a bad relationship... I find the giving more fun than the receiving, so perhaps I'm in the minority but clearly that isn't a truism.

I say no, because people have badgered me about it since I was in HS and I'm tired of it. However, not one is really interested in me. :(

I... I don't even know where to begin with this. Your morals are messed up, and that crazy hypocritical book that you get them from too. I'm TL;DR-ing this entire thread to so as to avoid finding more disturbing evidence of crazy, archaic, Christians.

I say "No, if you don".

Because I don't don, so it doesn't effect me.

In all seriousness, I don't see why it should even matter.

BangSmashBoom:
Okay? Clearly most of you are all as you people call it "Atheists", but to tell you guys the truth I'm proud of being a virgin, I've got a good reputation at church, I have lots of supportive friends there, I've been doing jr youth group for a while now and I'm going to be promoted to teen doing youth group next year, I have a bright future ahead of me and I personally feel that I don't need any form of sex in my life right now, and if I am to do so it'd have quality over quantity only with my wife.

"But m8, what about the sexual compatablity?" 'bout that well resently I've been going wife hunting and honestly it felt like a burden, so I put it in God's hands and I feel that we made an agreement that, when I'm ready for a woman that my wife will have everything I need in a woman, and yes that includes me not having to ruin the surprise to know if she's my type or not, why and how?

Because I have FAITH in my God, that if I follow the path that he has set out for me, that he will give me all that I'll need, IT'S ALL JUST SIMPLE FAITH, it's MY leap of faith that I'M taking because I trust in my loving God, okay?

To some of you guys faith is just another lucky dip, even if it is, I'd have plenty of time to learn from my mistakes which is what life is all about.

I'm not posting to judge or to shame, all I'm trying to say is that I'm taking a leap of faith that I believe that will pay off at the end.

I really don't see why you have to bring God into it. Congratulations...you have made social progress within the church and don't feel the need to have sex. That doesn't change whether or not your virginity is worth saving. The re...

...wait a sec, are you pulling my leg? I'm going to assume you aren't and maybe look like an idiot...

...the rest of your post seems to be that God will provide you with a suitable partner when it's the right time, and there is no risk involved because you will know when it is the one God provides and there is no way a relationship would not work out between you.

Ok. What I want to know is how you are going to know who the right one is. And actually, how you have any clue what the path he has set out for you is?

Look...I don't want to seem like I'm needlessly picking a fight, but if you're going to sit back and hope that God provides, and it doesn't work, you're the one who's going to be short one wife. Maybe some things are just a burden. Maybe it's just worth it to follow through regardless. Just because it's difficult doesn't mean you shouldn't try.

(Yes, I'm an atheist, and it's incurable).

White Lightning:
I've thought about this, but too be honest how hard can it actually be? I mean can the other person not give direction? I dunno but I don't see being good at it as that big of a hurtle. I imagine it would be like riding a bike, it's not all that hard to figure out if you've got someone teaching you.

Very few things comes easy without experience. I still sometimes see people having trouble with even the simplest of the simplest task (like using a screwdriver, or - in case of my dad - logging onto a Computer) because they have no experience with it, even if it's simple.

Sticking your penis inside a girl isn't difficult (and yet i failed at it on my first try, but i was extremely wasted which definitely isn't something i won't recommend). Pleasing her is an entirely different issue (I'm assuming you're a male). And yes, if she has to talk you through it (or vice versa), then it is simply going to be an embarrassing experience. "Am i inside?" or "Can you feel it?" is questions I've fortunately never had to ask any of my girlfriends.

Appropriate captcha btw: Gold Medal <--- You won't get that without training.

No it's not! Not by a longshot! It's even a bad idea!

Get some practice before you settle down with someone, it helps!

Oh and don't start threads with polls and questions if you've already decided. I mean, if you're God has already decided for you.

Do I appreciate it when a girl has NO IDEA what she's doing sexually? No, it isn't an enjoyable sexual experience. Fucking virgins is awkward and while I might do it if I'm in love, I actively avoid virgins if I know that they are virgins. Not saying I want to marry a veteran hooker or something, but as long as you're free of disease and not hiding some other STD like children from me, your sexual history is your business.

no. I think the first time should be with someone special but saving it for marriage... that's going a little too far.
first, I would be not having sex to save myself for someone I probably haven't even met yet. second, I wouldn't know if that marriage would last, so how is that fair to the next person you marry? third, anyone who has had sex knows what a mess the first time usually is. If i think about my first time... that's not how I want my wedding night to go... and finally, I think I'd be a little weirded out if I was in a relationship with someone who says she loves me and finds me attractive, but doesn't want to have sex with me. same goes for my exes.

Divine Miss Bee:

The Tall Nerd:

Divine Miss Bee:

if you'd angered me i wouldn't have responded. though if you keep calling me a man i might get a bit miffed. most men don't refer to themselves as women or goddesses, or put "miss" in their usernames. don't comment on posts you don't read if you don't want to anger people.

i did read it
fine then i shall use the term
dude

i much prefer "goddess divine" but i'll take what i can get. :)

oh so you want me to call you
motoko kusanagi

Divine Miss Bee:

come on over to mine, things make much more sense here.

I'm not sure if that was intended to sound lgbt-phobic or if it just came out that way, but....Wow.

Virginity is overhyped.

Sex is overhyped.

Stop making it a big deal and the problem will solve itself on its own.

White Lightning:

I've thought about this, but too be honest how hard can it actually be? I mean can the other person not give direction? I dunno but I don't see being good at it as that big of a hurtle. I imagine it would be like riding a bike, it's not all that hard to figure out if you've got someone teaching you.

Or I may be wrong eniterly and setting myself up for an extremly embarrassing moment in the future...

I have to agree with this one here. I know that me and my girlfriend have talk about it, and neither of us care how bad the other is going to be, we are not having sex until we are married, and even then only to have children. We dont care how ackward or strange the first time will be...thats not why we will be marrying/married to eachother for. We would be married because we are eachothers best friend and we want to spend time with eachother, specifially the rest of our lives. We already know its going to suck the first time, but it doesnt matter. Nothing on this Earth will get us to have sex until we are married. Hell, she is always saying that one of the things she likes about me is that I DONT think about sex with her, outside of marriage. Hell, even IN marriage, I wouldnt really care about sex. It sucks? Oh well, I guess we will go into the other room and she can punch people while I leave a neat hole in thier skull with a sniper on Borderlands. Or I can help her at Fallout. Or she can watch me tear up the track on Forza Horizon. Problem solved.

Here's my counter points to your points OP: no I don't think most women will appreciate a man who saved his virginity for marriage. Experience is generally viewed a a good thing nowadays. I'm also agnostic so I don't really care what religion has to say about it, and I struggle to believe that God has some special person out there just for me. I'm far too cynical for that. So instead of waiting my whole life for this non existstant perfect person, I'll bone pretty much any girl that wants it. Good day

I'm a virgin because I'm a germophobe, Trichophobe & a hypochondriac. I will punch any half or fully naked thing that gets within swing distance of my arm. & if it is hairy, I will chase it with a razor.

Well, I answered "No"
In general people can do whatever they want and nobody should give a damn
(especially if noone gets hurt and/or when this isn't related to you)

I personally prefer to wait till marriage (and expect from my future wife similar attitude)
But for different reasons- I don't like opening to just anyone, and short-term relationship isn't worth the emotional discomfort I get from doing so.

BangSmashBoom:

To some of you guys faith is just another lucky dip, even if it is, I'd have plenty of time to learn from my mistakes which is what life is all about.

I'm curious, if you spend your whole life waiting for god to provide you with a partner, then what time is there to learn from that mistake if he didn't provide you with one?

Unless the bible states something like "if god doesn't provide you a partner by the age of 50, screw who you like"

It doesn't.

This means there isn't any time is there?

I don't mean to disrespect your religion, I was baptised and raised catholic, but people, we need to start taking the important lessons from religion, not the ridiculous archaic bullshit that you extreme American Christians seem to practice.

What if you save it and your partner saves it and you get married and you both suck at sex!?

Saving your virginity for marriage is ridiculous imo (NOTE THE IMO, don't bitch at me).

Some reasons? I'll give you some.

Seriously, what if you suck at it? What if you suck and can't get better.
What if you simply aren't sexually compatible? Should you be forced to live a sexless existence because your partner can only get off when some light choking is involved and you just aint diggin it?
What if you never get married? Some people die young, some die old, some die old without ever having married. Dying a virgin would suck the big one.
What if you end up divorced? What if you remarry? What if that second marriage was really the one? Does sex from the first marriage count? You CHEATED on the one god intended you to be with. You're a terrible person now!
What if aliens?
What if you get raped? Did god intend for you to marry your rapist? What a dick that guy is! The rapist and god I guess. More god though, he's the one who let it happen. Jerk. Also the rapist may be a woman so... what dick that guy/gal is!

In our society, men who are virgins are typically looked upon as weak or inferior, two words which not a lot of people want to have applied to them. Also, I could imagine that having your wife be a virgin would make her wedding night a painful one as opposed to the joy a newlywed is supposed to experience.

I don't really see how either party benefits from saving themselves.

Zachary Amaranth:

Divine Miss Bee:

come on over to mine, things make much more sense here.

I'm not sure if that was intended to sound lgbt-phobic or if it just came out that way, but....Wow.

lgbt phobic? if the person identifies as a woman, she's a woman. that's not lgbt-phobic. and seeing as i'm a lesbian with an intersexed twin, i doubt i'd be overtly or subconsciously homophobic...perhaps it's one of those things wherein the homophobes tell us what to be offended about? like racists getting all up in arms about how "unconcerned" minorities are about stereotypes?

so, yeah, thanks for the offer, but i'm good! :)

I don't think God cares about who you sleep with. In any event, your future wife would probably appreciate someone that knows whats what between the sheets,

if your really really hot, it may be worth selling it. other than that no.

Vivi22:
You know, I've come to believe that waiting until you're married to have sex might be among the worst decisions you could make about sex. Think about it for a second: if you're marrying someone, presumably, you should be looking to spend the rest of your life with them. So what if you never have sex before the big day and that night when you do, it's terrible? And what if it's not just first time awkwardness that's the problem, but it just never gets better because you don't mesh well in the bedroom? Sex is a pretty important thing in a marriage, like it or not, so wouldn't you rather find out that it's not going to work before making a very expensive commitment that's a pain in the ass to get out of? I'm not even saying you have to jump the bones of everyone you date, but if you've gotten to the point where asking the person to marry you is a real consideration, it's time to head to the bedroom and start taking off some clothes.

Virginity to me is nothing special. It's not some gift of loyalty or any other thing people tell themselves to convince them that it's important and something to be cherished. A healthy sex life between two people who love each other is far more important, and the only thing being a virgin tells me is the first time's going to be pretty damn awkward, but at least they aren't disease addled I suppose.

I agree a lot of people don't really consider the fact that their partner could be completely incompatible. How much would it suck if she was tight and you were large and you were incapable of having sex without hurting her. If you wait till your married that puts you in a extremely difficult situation where normally you could just break up no hard feelings maybe be friends even.

BOOM headshot65:

White Lightning:

I've thought about this, but too be honest how hard can it actually be? I mean can the other person not give direction? I dunno but I don't see being good at it as that big of a hurtle. I imagine it would be like riding a bike, it's not all that hard to figure out if you've got someone teaching you.

Or I may be wrong eniterly and setting myself up for an extremly embarrassing moment in the future...

I have to agree with this one here. I know that me and my girlfriend have talk about it, and neither of us care how bad the other is going to be, we are not having sex until we are married, and even then only to have children. We dont care how ackward or strange the first time will be...thats not why we will be marrying/married to eachother for. We would be married because we are eachothers best friend and we want to spend time with eachother, specifially the rest of our lives. We already know its going to suck the first time, but it doesnt matter. Nothing on this Earth will get us to have sex until we are married. Hell, she is always saying that one of the things she likes about me is that I DONT think about sex with her, outside of marriage. Hell, even IN marriage, I wouldnt really care about sex. It sucks? Oh well, I guess we will go into the other room and she can punch people while I leave a neat hole in thier skull with a sniper on Borderlands. Or I can help her at Fallout. Or she can watch me tear up the track on Forza Horizon. Problem solved.

Not telling you to push this sorta thing but keep in mind people CAN be completely incompatible sexually. It is possible for a guy to be to large and a girl to tight to be capable of sex without injuring either party. If your young I wouldn't recommend rushing in or nothing but it is a good idea to make sure you do work together before getting married and being stuck.

Someways yes, others no, guys like me see it as "okay we got to get rid of my virginity", while with girls its usually kept until they're drunk, drugged, or feel like this is the "love of their life". As long as its not people I don't care about, fine go have a damn orgy for all I care, but if its someone I do care about, well hell i'm pretty damn mad I didn't get to screw.
Personally, I want my future wife to be tight, even if it hurts a little at first, they'll eventually get used to it. i don't want to marry a skank or someone who's banged another guy.

Yes, I do think it is worth saving. I grew up in a very traditional family and share many of their values, one of which is saving yourself before marriage. I save myself out of respect of those values, and also because I generally see myself not having a partner for the rest of my life. It may seem like a strange thing to say, but my personality and way of living generally works against the very notion of finding a partner. In a sense, it is almost as if I have nothing to save, cause I have no one to give it to, and will go out of my way to make sure it remains that way...cause that is who I am. But lets just say for curiosities sake that I do find a partner...even if for some reason she begs...it won't happen until after marriage.

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