Well that date was weird...

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Kyr Knightbane:
I have had a few.

The most notable one would have to be this girl i was dating in high school. We were pretty serious and it was getting toward the end of my senior year and she was going schizo about Prom. I asked her and she said yes. So being a working guy (Having a job at 17 working 12 hour shifts graves) I paid for everything because i had a bit of disposable income.

She shows up and asks if she and her 'friend' (a gentleman i haven't met before and knew nothing about) could use my bathroom to get ready.

Of course i say "you can, he cannot, as i don't know him"

She responds with random anger and storms into the bathroom, after trying to stealthily grope him, not realizing from that angle i missed... NOTHING. He sits on my couch and glares at me for the entire time, whipping a butterfly knife in and out, trying to intimidate while i sat in my chair, doing nothing really. (Besides texting my best friend, and requesting him to get over to my house)

She returns, 'ready' for prom. Picture this if you will:

I spent probably 200 bucks on her dress and shoes and accessories. It was a rental but i paid for the insurance and whatnot. She picked out the dress and everything and i merely paid for it.

Instead of using the hair straightener on her hair, she decided to burn holes in said dress. She had shredded the wonderfully crafted lower part til it looked like a cyberpunk fairy from a 90's cartoon show would wear.

She then rips the dress off, tells me i'm a selfish asshole, gives the random guy the sloppiest, most oddly sexual kiss right on my couch and they laugh and leave.

(I was able to return the dress and after apologizing profusely and telling the guy i'd pay full damages, he didn't charge me full price {400 extra dollars}. I managed to only have to pay an extra 100)

So yeah, my net profit for that 'date' was a ripped up dress, a trashed bathroom and a rather psychotic ex girlfriend, who i STILL, don't have any idea how i managed that one.

My buddy showed up, and we went bowling instead. He was such an awesome bro, he had a tux left over from a wedding and since i was mostly gussied up, we went bowling in tux's and ties. Probably the most fun I've had bowling ever.

Dude...That is brutal...you should have been sent home with a purple heart.

Beffudled Sheep:

chaos order:

Beffudled Sheep:
Wanna date me? We can avoid eye contact together and get matching sunglasses so we can make even less eye contact!

SUNGLASSES why didnt i think of that!

captcha: Pepper pots ... i fucking wish

Because its so simple! The solution has been stealthily avoiding your eye contact for years! But now you know :D

that statement seems to imply ive been on many dates when in fact ive ever been on two, and one was set up by a friend against my will... now guess how old i am lol

I'm a little surprised though that you went along with it for that long. I'd have been out of there when he started talking about the piercings. I wonder how many female skeletons he has buried in his yard.

Never actually been on a date myself, so I have no fun stories like this one.

Oh my GOD that's weird. That guy's stalker material. If you know any rednecks, take refuge with them so they can fend him off if he comes back.

I've never had a girlfriend as such, but I did have a very good friends-with-benefits thing going on for a while. Then we peaceably parted ways because she found a guy she was actually interested in. Then we started up again. Then we stopped because we're terrible at keeping secrets and it became incredibly awkward in the dorm. It finally crashed and burned when someone asked "Hey, uh...are you guys fucking?" She got up and left, and the resulting text conversation read like a Greek tragedy written by a schizophrenic.

Ugh.
I had to stop reading halfway through because of how weird it was.
All I can say is good luck!

launchpadmcqwak:

Kyr Knightbane:
I have had a few.

The most notable one would have to be this girl i was dating in high school. We were pretty serious and it was getting toward the end of my senior year and she was going schizo about Prom. I asked her and she said yes. So being a working guy (Having a job at 17 working 12 hour shifts graves) I paid for everything because i had a bit of disposable income.

She shows up and asks if she and her 'friend' (a gentleman i haven't met before and knew nothing about) could use my bathroom to get ready.

Of course i say "you can, he cannot, as i don't know him"

She responds with random anger and storms into the bathroom, after trying to stealthily grope him, not realizing from that angle i missed... NOTHING. He sits on my couch and glares at me for the entire time, whipping a butterfly knife in and out, trying to intimidate while i sat in my chair, doing nothing really. (Besides texting my best friend, and requesting him to get over to my house)

She returns, 'ready' for prom. Picture this if you will:

I spent probably 200 bucks on her dress and shoes and accessories. It was a rental but i paid for the insurance and whatnot. She picked out the dress and everything and i merely paid for it.

Instead of using the hair straightener on her hair, she decided to burn holes in said dress. She had shredded the wonderfully crafted lower part til it looked like a cyberpunk fairy from a 90's cartoon show would wear.

She then rips the dress off, tells me i'm a selfish asshole, gives the random guy the sloppiest, most oddly sexual kiss right on my couch and they laugh and leave.

(I was able to return the dress and after apologizing profusely and telling the guy i'd pay full damages, he didn't charge me full price {400 extra dollars}. I managed to only have to pay an extra 100)

So yeah, my net profit for that 'date' was a ripped up dress, a trashed bathroom and a rather psychotic ex girlfriend, who i STILL, don't have any idea how i managed that one.

My buddy showed up, and we went bowling instead. He was such an awesome bro, he had a tux left over from a wedding and since i was mostly gussied up, we went bowling in tux's and ties. Probably the most fun I've had bowling ever.

Dude...That is brutal...you should have been sent home with a purple heart.

Nah, it should have been a

*Puts on glasses*

Medal of Honor

*Dies due to stupid pun*

Adept Mechanicus:
Oh my GOD that's weird. That guy's stalker material. If you know any rednecks, take refuge with them so they can fend him off if he comes back.

I've never had a girlfriend as such, but I did have a very good friends-with-benefits thing going on for a while. Then we peaceably parted ways because she found a guy she was actually interested in. Then we started up again. Then we stopped because we're terrible at keeping secrets and it became incredibly awkward in the dorm. It finally crashed and burned when someone asked "Hey, uh...are you guys fucking?" She got up and left, and the resulting text conversation read like a Greek tragedy written by a schizophrenic.

And Thusly it was written:

Txt 1: So yeah, i think we're done with this.

Txt 2:
Verily we didst part ways. Though i didst cleave betwixt thine thighs, yea, my spirit no longer be with you. Whenst didst thou decideth we shouldns't bone?

Txt 3:
Rightst Noweth.

chaos order:

Beffudled Sheep:

chaos order:

SUNGLASSES why didnt i think of that!

captcha: Pepper pots ... i fucking wish

Because its so simple! The solution has been stealthily avoiding your eye contact for years! But now you know :D

that statement seems to imply ive been on many dates when in fact ive ever been on two, and one was set up by a friend against my will... now guess how old i am lol

Oh don't be silly! Avoiding eye contact isn't just something you do on dates. It can be a daily occurrence to be shared with so many other friends and strangers!

I'm guessing like late 20's?

Of the year's I've had, girlfriends are few and really good peeps (still friends after) nothing really stuck for me. However, I was a pawn in another person's love game, unknowingly mind you.

I was standing around after class in high school one day, I had been chatting with the few people who bothered to give a 'hello' to me. One girl I knew had walked up to me, asked me away from my conversation with a buddy, and held onto my arm after turning us both around. Another boy walked in talking to her in a tone I can only describe as 'excited and frustrated' about 'the next date' so I guess she went on at least one with him.

She proclaimed that she wasn't interested in him, but instead wanted someone more like me (at the time about six feet tall and stocky because I took weight training in lieu of team sports) Needless to say I was caught off-guard by the proclamation and had a delayed reaction that left me with a vacant expression. Afterward he left, she told me thanks and walked away, leaving me to turn to my friend and ask "What just happened?"

I wish I had some dating stories.

Oh, people have already made that joke.

Okay, then.

That sounds like a perfect date.

I once went on a date with a girl where we went to watch "Vampires Suck". She was a hardcore Twilight fan and not impressed. Not strange, but a bit awkward, since I laughed pretty hard at some parts.

Went on a date to meet a girls parents, turns out her dad was an ex-navy seal that was honorably discharged because he got so many purple hearts or something. It was a tough break up............
And very Scary

Well this is something you're going to laugh about in a few months or years or whenever he stopps harrassing you.
As for you, you seem like a really cool chick :D, taking it pretty positively and being all no-no to all his money and stuff, althou I'd never take a chick to a gym, that's in my own house and livingroom, being grunted up by my friends for a first date...

Well captcha wants to know: plus or minus?
I think you're going for the minus aren't you?

DevilWithaHalo:
Hey, there's nothing wrong with random dudes! I've met some quirky random ladies that way.

DevilWithaHalo:
Like the one that wanted to go to a strip club and play with my hair.

Your own damn fault for having such faaabulous hair.
And really, what better place is there for a first date, than a strip club?

DevilWithaHalo:
Or the one that stuck her tongue down my throat after I said hello.

What a responsible woman, making sure to check your tonsils, thus ensuring that your immune-system is in good working order, thereby validating you as a partner.

DevilWithaHalo:
Or the one that couldn't talk about anything else besides her life changing and financially bankrupting trip to Thailand.

After she spent all her money on it, she might as well talk about it.

DevilWithaHalo:
Or the one who preferred communication via text... even in person.

Lool, I cu. w8 who wuldn't luv to txt al ze tiem?LUvUUUUU<3

DevilWithaHalo:
Or the one who invited me to be more friendly, but then chastised me for becoming more friendly.

Well, how dare you being too friendly after being not friendly enough?
Can't you just walk the incredibly thin line?

DevilWithaHalo:
As my old roommate told me...

The one who's ex boyfriend followed them on their date.

Oh, so we already met in real life?

DevilWithaHalo:
The one who wanted to have his babies after their first date.

Ok, that's just crazy.
You wait for at least the 3rd date before asking someone to have babies with you.

DevilWithaHalo:
Silver lining; now you have a great story to share with your next date. ;)

Yeaaaahh, maybe that's not such a hot idea.

"You know, there is this incredibly rich, muscular, tall guy completely obsessing over me. He has proven himself to be unscrupulous, unbalanced and possibly violent. Anyway, wanna get coffee?"
Can't see that going wrong....

Your first mistake was agreeing to go on a date with a customer while you were working.

Your second mistake was not running like a bat out of hell when he offered to buy matching bathrobes.

Also, the Hue-Manatee's pickup line would work with me. Although, I'd assume it's a hilarious joke and beefy-tits didn't exist.

I would run away at the mention of matching bathing robes if I were you :P And for what reason, pray tell, did you actually go to his house? You might as well post this in one of those "did you attempt suicide" threads :D

As for me? No fun stories here, because I'm expert at getting myself friendzoned ;)

yeah your first date with that guy sounds creepy as hell. If he doesnt get the hint that you are not interested might i suggest a pair of hedge clippers aimed at his testicles while you explain the finer points on remaining "a man".

My weirdest "date" was years back. I'm a shy guy in person so naturally I turned to lavalife to meet some people and chat. Started talking to this nice girl online and we decide to talk on the phone. I call her up and everything is going well until we get to the topic of religion. I'm agnostic and she happens to be rather christian. She doesnt want to convert me but tells me that for our first date she wants me to get her pregnant so that we can live together and have as many babies as god wants.

Not sure if I have ever hung up the phone that quickly before.

Luckily though lavalife did work out and I met my wife on there. Similar interests but she is 5'0" and I am 6'2" so it is funny to see us walking anywhere together.

Ladies this is why you never let a guy pick you up for a first date. Always drive separate and meet him at the bar/restaurant/whatever. Get a ride from a friend or take the bus if you have to. If he protests, bail. He's a scumbag and not worth it.

Weirdest date I went on I didn't actually realize was a 'date' until about half-way through.

Friend of mine called up, asking if I wanted to go see Expendables 2 with him - we're both action buffs, so I figured 'Hell yes, this is gonna be awesome'. I meet him at the cinema, watch the movie, enjoy the hell out of the movie and generally have a great time.

Then, while we were getting lunch, he started holding my hand. It was at this point I realized he was gay and wanted a 'date', while I'm 100% straight and honestly thought it was just a movie trip.

What followed was a rather awkward conversation explaining how I was completely straight, something I had to (quite annoyingly) re-iterate several times as he kept bringing up 'signs' that I was really gay and showed interest in him (where I honestly though I was just being friendly). It took a solid half-hour to explain to him how I'm not gay, I just tend to act stereotypically gay due to it being fun.

Never really saw a lot of that guy after all that. It was a super awkward evening, so kinda understandable.

I have really only had one or two dates, and the experience shows my luck with women. We were both kind of the quiet, loner type, so neither of us said much, but we were both comfortable with that, when you get two "good listeners" in a room, they both end up listening very well, but not much talking is done. Anyway after a few dates where she claims to of had a "great time" on both I call her up at night to talk to her, where she says she is moving away and did not find out about it until a day after our second date. It is a shame I actually kind of liked her, but nothing I could change.

Well...the strangest date I've ever had was strange because it was unexpected.

I mean, who the fuck puts dates in fried rice? I don't even like them at the best of times.

Congratulations! You've dated Brucie from GTA IV!
On a side note; any man who likes Uggs should be shot. several times, in the toes.

Umm well, I'd usually keep that one for myself. Dating has allways been difficult for me, not cause of lack of interesst in me, its more the fact that I have to tell a guy, if I really like him, a detail about me. Which is that im genetically not female, I'm TG.
Reactions to that were fairly mixed, but not really horrible, for most its just 'not a thing for them'.
First guy with whom it went further after that, told me after we were out for dinner (very classic) that he actually finds that exciting and that he is sad I had 'that surgery', and that getting a girl and a guy in one person as a partner would be great... I lost interesst in that very second.
The second... well it didnt work out with us, cause he had no spine and I'm only into vertebrates. He talked to his parents a lot about me, and they didnt like him having a gf anyways, but after he told them about me being TG, his father called me and threatened to skin me if I would meet him again and further try to turn him gay...

I kinda gave up dating after that, which wasnt long before I met my BF, with whom im very happy now.

Jenvas1306:

I kinda gave up dating after that, which wasnt long before I met my BF, with whom im very happy now.

Isn't that always the case? I meet my long term partner after deciding to buckle down and focus on my career.

SaetonChapelle:
So, I work in retail, and thus I receive many customers who converse with me. I also am a young female who primarily either works with males, or older women, so when I have young customers I get a fair amount of attention (this has nothing to do with my physical appearance, merely the fact that I'm like 30 years younger then everyone I work with.) So a nice young man comes over to me and asks me out. I'm single, so I figured a nice evening would be lovely, and I agree.

I was well aware he and I had little to nothing in common. I'm a female gamer, watch animation, have a comic series, am only like 5" tall and although thin, I do not exercise. This man was easily a foot taller then me, built like a brick house, and although a smart gentleman, his interests were in cars and body building. But hey, he was sweet, and anything can happen.

He picks me up and says he needs to do some shopping. I agree to go along, and on the way he only speaks about his tons of money that he has and the expensive items he spends it on. I'm a college student living in a box-like apartment eating raman and at times rats when they venture in, money is a rather rare thing for me. As we get to the store, and about ten minutes in he states "Oh man, we need to get matching bathrobes! For, like, when you sleep over at my place!"

Err... I begged against, but he insisted and purchased one. He also stated I needed more jewelry and wanted me to replace a precious gem of mine, of which I refused. Belly rings as well, because apparently mind was old fashioned and he wanted to satisfaction of "playing with a dangling one". He also wanted to buy me new shoes, due to the current ones I own being my work shoes, and my only real pair. Something about Uggs... No idea what kind of shoe those are but they sound unpleasant.

twenty minutes into dinner he exclaims he wants to "get serious, no lies up in here bro". first date mind you. I attempted to make small talk while trying to get a hold of friends, and he insisted on bringing me to his house.

Beautiful home, but his only furniture was a couch, tv, beer pong table, and a work out bench. So as I uncomfortably watched "Office Space" on his lonely couch in the dark unfurnished room, he proceeded to place his body on my lap while his friends worked out and did manly 'dude" things, whatever that may be. (Insert manly grunting noises while doing push ups. Whatever you desire). Pretty sure one was making peach cobbler as well. Maybe with his muscles, but it was happening. Damn he was enthusiastic about stirring.

Needless to say I have been avoiding the countless texts he has sent me about dating. Although I have informed him I was not interested for various reasons he still has not gotten the hint. I suppose I deserve this for going out with a random dude.

Topic: So Escapists, make me feel better. Tell me about an interesting, awkward, entertaining date you've experienced. :3

Sounds like you got a stalker, I'd be careful with that one. Oh & I don't mean to sound weird or anything, which saying that probably makes me sound like a freak, but anyway you sound like the perfect woman too me.

OT: Not too many odd dates for me, other than going with a girl when she was trying on bridesmaids dresses & everyone thinking I was the groom. Yeah boring dates for me.

SaetonChapelle:

I agree to go along, and on the way he only speaks about his tons of money that he has and the expensive items he spends it on.

First sign on the Douchebag meter

SaetonChapelle:

"Oh man, we need to get matching bathrobes! For, like, when you sleep over at my place!" Err... I begged against, but he insisted and purchased one.

First sign on the creep meter

SaetonChapelle:
He also stated I needed more jewelry and wanted me to replace a precious gem of mine, of which I refused. Belly rings as well, because apparently mind was old fashioned and he wanted to satisfaction of "playing with a dangling one".

Second sign on the creep meter

SaetonChapelle:

He also wanted to buy me new shoes, due to the current ones I own being my work shoes, and my only real pair. Something about Uggs... No idea what kind of shoe those are but they sound unpleasant.

First sign on the Pimp O-meter

SaetonChapelle:

twenty minutes into dinner he exclaims he wants to "get serious, no lies up in here bro". first date mind you. I attempted to make small talk while trying to get a hold of friends, and he insisted on bringing me to his house.

Third sign on the creep meter

SaetonChapelle:
Beautiful home, but his only furniture was a couch, tv, beer pong table, and a work out bench.

First sign on the Serial Killer meter

SaetonChapelle:

He proceeded to place his body on my lap while his friends worked out

Forth sign on the creep Meter

SaetonChapelle:

Needless to say I have been avoiding the countless texts he has sent me about dating. Although I have informed him I was not interested for various reasons he still has not gotten the hint.

Creep meter Maxed officially a Creepy stalker

SaetonChapelle:

I suppose I deserve this for going out with a random dude.

No no you don't deserve it, but you really need to take hints better. This guy sounds like he keeps kittens in his freezer and I'm amazed you got out of his apartment alive. You should seriously consider getting a restraining order.

WolfThomas:

Jenvas1306:

I kinda gave up dating after that, which wasnt long before I met my BF, with whom im very happy now.

Isn't that always the case? I meet my long term partner after deciding to buckle down and focus on my career.

weird as it is, that phenomenon seems like a cosmic joke.

OlasDAlmighty:
I'm a little surprised though that you went along with it for that long. I'd have been out of there when he started talking about the piercings. I wonder how many female skeletons he has buried in his yard.

Only an amateur buries bodies in their own backyard.

Bury them in the neighbour's backyard instead to throw suspicion off.

...

Stop looking at me like that, it's not like backpackers are real people.

SaetonChapelle:
"Oh man, we need to get matching bathrobes! For, like, when you sleep over at my place!"

Err... I begged against, but he insisted and purchased one. He also stated I needed more jewelry and wanted me to replace a precious gem of mine, of which I refused. Belly rings as well, because apparently mind was old fashioned and he wanted to satisfaction of "playing with a dangling one".

Wat?

That's just... not right. Egads.

SaetonChapelle:
he insisted on bringing me to his house.

Beautiful home, but his only furniture was a couch, tv, beer pong table, and a work out bench. So as I uncomfortably watched "Office Space" on his lonely couch in the dark unfurnished room, he proceeded to place his body on my lap while his friends worked out and did manly 'dude" things, whatever that may be. (Insert manly grunting noises while doing push ups. Whatever you desire). Pretty sure one was making peach cobbler as well. Maybe with his muscles, but it was happening. Damn he was enthusiastic about stirring.

**cringes**

Seriously, I was waiting for him to turn out to be a serial killer. The friends with muscles thing is somehow weirder and more frightening.

SaetonChapelle:
Needless to say I have been avoiding the countless texts he has sent me about dating. Although I have informed him I was not interested for various reasons he still has not gotten the hint. I suppose I deserve this for going out with a random dude.

Wow. That was impressively bad. You may need to enter Witness Protection.

SaetonChapelle:
Topic: So Escapists, make me feel better. Tell me about an interesting, awkward, entertaining date you've experienced. :3

....

Yeah, no, sorry; I've got nothing that can match that. My bad dates have mostly just been dull, not anything so bizarre as you experienced. The weird ones were generally good dates, even if things weren't so good later.

I think the most awkward one I have is this:

Way back in highschool, I came out as bisexual by dating this girl from another school who I met at a football game (I was in the Band). She had a car which is where most of our early dates took place.

And then she took me home to meet her parents and I discovered something - her sexy accent wasn't just charming affect, she and her family were from Georgia. They were southern conservative republicans who owned guns. Lots of guns.

She introduced me to her mother, father, and grandmother as a friend. Then she took me to her bedroom to "watch Grease" - and yes, she actually put the movie on, it was one of her favorites for some reason - and tried to have sex with me.

Lesbian sex. With me. While her conservative, gun-owning parents were one thin wall away.

I told her I really wanted to watch Grease (which is not a movie I particularly like). So we sat there, holding hands, her singing along.

Then afterwards she asked me what I wanted to do then, a sultry look in her eyes. But I couldn't stop imaging my brutal murder.

So we watched Grease 2.

The horror. The horror.

Owen Robertson:

SaetonChapelle:
I was well aware he and I had little to nothing in common. I'm a female gamer, watch animation, have a comic series, am only like 5" tall and although thin, I do not exercise. This man was easily a foot taller then me, built like a brick house, and although a smart gentleman, his interests were in cars and body building.

He picks me up and says he needs to do some shopping. I agree to go along, and on the way he only speaks about his tons of money that he has and the expensive items he spends it on.

As we get to the store, and about ten minutes in he states "Oh man, we need to get matching bathrobes! For, like, when you sleep over at my place!"

twenty minutes into dinner he exclaims he wants to "get serious, no lies up in here bro".

Pretty sure one was making peach cobbler as well. Maybe with his muscles, but it was happening. Damn he was enthusiastic about stirring.

1) Where are you from because short gamer girls are my kryptonite. Sorry if that's weird.
2) Anything CAN happen but without common ground you're usually doomed.
3) He was trying to impress you. Or he's just full of himself. Or both.
4) The bath robes are a scarily obvious sex incentive
5) "bro"? He called you "bro"? Really? *sigh*
6) Probably a protein shake. With peaches. And muscles.

OT: I've never been on a serious "date" like that, so sorry. I just wanted to be relevant...

xD You're always relevant my friend. Never think you're not. And sadly upstate new york, where there's more cows and car dealerships then real people.

I dunno which was the weirdest... the bird who had a screaming fit when she saw 2 blokes kissing in the cinema lobby or the bird who wanted to trade sexual favours in exchange for me beating the living crap out of her brother.

Bara_no_Hime:

So we watched Grease 2.

The horror. The horror.

O.O That is one massively terrible movie(massive understatement).
I love a lot of musicals but watching grease 2 would be close to hell.

As on the Uggs topic. They are rather popular where i am from and i think they look terrible. Always wondered why they became so popular in the first place.

Geeze, I wish some of the attractive women that come through the store I work at would show interest in me. Not that creepy an interest mind, just some interest would be nice.
Sorry I don't have any stories to share as I've barely been on any dates. ...which is really kind of pathetic since I am nearly 31.

Only been on one date. It was pretty awkward, not the worst, but I like how it ended with a handshake. I am a mighty stud.

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