Well that date was weird...

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There was one time.
I don't want to call it a date, but that's what I'm told it kind of was, even though it was horrible, so ugh.

Anyway,

While I was going to a university, I was taking courses on Saturday mornings for three hours.

This guy who I passed while walking on the street to class in the morning followed me into the building, at this point I thought he was just another student, he followed into the elevator, and started flirting a bit. He asked if I wanted to go for coffee after class (I figured he would be going to a class as well), I said sure, he seemed nice.

But then during my entire three hour course, I could see him through the window in the door. He was just sitting at a desk, sometimes reading, sometimes just staring at me. He wasn't actually a student, he just went in the building because of me and waited there for -three hours- for this, I didn't ask him to, I thought he was going to his own class - but he wasn't a student.

Just before the end of class, he disappears somewhere, and then when my class ends I go downstairs, he's there and he had gone to get his car (which was odd because the coffee shop was less than a minute walking). He said he thought it would be nicer to drive up to one of the local landmarks (a very scenic/pretty area) and asked if I minded, I said sure and got into his car, figuring that I knew Mount Royal enough and could get public transport if I had to bail on him (I know, I should never have gone into his car in the first place) it was horribly stupid, it was just the first time a guy had...ever shown 'dating' interest in me, and I was really flustered.

On the drive up, he's constantly grabbing and stroking his crotch, and trying to pet my legs and grab my hands, trying to slowly bring my hand over to his crotch, I resist that, and start to think "I'm ditching this guy".

We get up to one of the viewpoints, I sit on one of the ledges looking over the city, it's slightly snow-covered and a bit sunny, and super gorgeous. He moves to stand in front of me, facing me and tries to spread my legs and move his hands closer to...

I push him away, and start walking to the bus. He follows and tries to grab my hand, asking me to get into his car and help him 'explode' (his exact word). He was bigger than me, but I'm stronger than I look, I shoved him and don't think he fully expected it. He tumbled over a bench and was still lying on the pavement as I get onto the bus.

Asshole waited three fucking hours on a Saturday morning for the chance to treat me like a whore.

And now I'm a lot more cautious and skeptical of guys who would ask me out, for better or for worse.

But... but making peach cobbler with my muscles ALWAYS works on the ladies.

I call it peach clobber.

chaos order:

Beffudled Sheep:

chaos order:

that statement seems to imply ive been on many dates when in fact ive ever been on two, and one was set up by a friend against my will... now guess how old i am lol

Oh don't be silly! Avoiding eye contact isn't just something you do on dates. It can be a daily occurrence to be shared with so many other friends and strangers!

I'm guessing like late 20's?

i only avoid contact with my female friends and unfortunately i tend to make eye contact with strangers which brings the whole awkward notch straight to eleven.

Oh i was convinced you were gonna under shoot my age due to my lack of experience with dating, but im actually in my early twenties.

Then perhaps sunglasses would be a wise investment ha-ha.

I try not to judge other people's anything (especially age) based on their experiences (or lack thereof) because most people that do that are wrong. But anyway, early 20's? You old geezer!

Beffudled Sheep:

chaos order:

Beffudled Sheep:
Oh don't be silly! Avoiding eye contact isn't just something you do on dates. It can be a daily occurrence to be shared with so many other friends and strangers!

I'm guessing like late 20's?

i only avoid contact with my female friends and unfortunately i tend to make eye contact with strangers which brings the whole awkward notch straight to eleven.

Oh i was convinced you were gonna under shoot my age due to my lack of experience with dating, but im actually in my early twenties.

Then perhaps sunglasses would be a wise investment ha-ha.

I try not to judge other people's anything (especially age) based on their experiences (or lack thereof) because most people that do that are wrong. But anyway, early 20's? You old geezer!

i might be in my early 20s chronologically but mentally im 13.

sounds like a sugar daddy, to be honest.

chaos order:

Beffudled Sheep:

chaos order:

i only avoid contact with my female friends and unfortunately i tend to make eye contact with strangers which brings the whole awkward notch straight to eleven.

Oh i was convinced you were gonna under shoot my age due to my lack of experience with dating, but im actually in my early twenties.

Then perhaps sunglasses would be a wise investment ha-ha.

I try not to judge other people's anything (especially age) based on their experiences (or lack thereof) because most people that do that are wrong. But anyway, early 20's? You old geezer!

i might be in my early 20s chronologically but mentally im 13.

I guess i have to give you the talk then? Well you see, when a man and a women love eachother very much they steal a baby from the local hospital and claim it is theirs. :D

Considering that I don't leave the house, don't have a job, and I can't drive, I've never had a date before. I'd say I'm sad about this but honestly, I know I'm not a good person, so I'd just be wasting the girls time if I could actually find a single girl anywhere on this flipping island. I swear, single girls are rarer than unicorns at my college...

Beffudled Sheep:

chaos order:

Beffudled Sheep:
Then perhaps sunglasses would be a wise investment ha-ha.

I try not to judge other people's anything (especially age) based on their experiences (or lack thereof) because most people that do that are wrong. But anyway, early 20's? You old geezer!

i might be in my early 20s chronologically but mentally im 13.

I guess i have to give you the talk then? Well you see, when a man and a women love eachother very much they steal a baby from the local hospital and claim it is theirs. :D

who needs love? i do that on a weekly basis. im thinking of starting my own Nike factory

ilikevidyagames:
i have to say i think i have one that might top it. the story goes like this i was on a second date with this girl that i thought i liked when i notice my ex girlfriend at a table across the restaurant i had thought that she had been stalking me for a while. so i manage to ignore her for the remainder of the date but as i soon found out the girl i had been dating was batshit insane she would throw out my things and then deny it even though i had proof and she was self burner then show it to people so then they would ask if she was being abused long story short i broke up with and a few months later i was dating my current girl friend and i hear a scuffle out side the restaurant and i see my two exes beating the hell out of each other like broken noses and lost teeth fighting apparently they had both been stalking me and when they saw each other they both wanted me so they fought luckily i knew the owner of the restaurant and we snuck out and now we've been dating for 2 years and i'm thinking about proposing

what sort of magic do you use to get two different women sooo enamored with you that they stalk you and where can i get some.

chaos order:

Beffudled Sheep:

chaos order:

i might be in my early 20s chronologically but mentally im 13.

I guess i have to give you the talk then? Well you see, when a man and a women love eachother very much they steal a baby from the local hospital and claim it is theirs. :D

who needs love? i do that on a weekly basis. im thinking of starting my own Nike factory

Hey! Don't you dare try to move in on my business! you can start making Uggs if you want but Nikes are mine!

Beffudled Sheep:

chaos order:

Beffudled Sheep:
I guess i have to give you the talk then? Well you see, when a man and a women love eachother very much they steal a baby from the local hospital and claim it is theirs. :D

who needs love? i do that on a weekly basis. im thinking of starting my own Nike factory

Hey! Don't you dare try to move in on my business! you can start making Uggs if you want but Nikes are mine!

UGGS? you know what nevermind ill just sell the children

SaetonChapelle:
I'm a female gamer, watch animation, have a comic series, am only like 5" tall and although thin, I do not exercise.

Five inches is rather short. I think that might have been a source of awkwardness on your date.

I have no stories to match that, alas, and now that I'm married it's looking like I never will. I've had awkward dates, though. There was one where within five minutes I knew the chemistry just wasn't there. We made boring conversation for two hours. At one point she asked if I wanted to get another drink, and I said "no". The date simply wasn't worth it.

There are others, but after your story they seem somewhat banal. I have a couple good psycho ex stories? Not quite the same, I suppose.

Oh jeez OP. I would highly advise against going out with that guy again (for your own safety!)

I ended up on a date with a guy a few months ago who I met at a game store. He seemed nice enough, so I agreed. He offered to picked me up (first red flag) but I was too shy to decline, so on date-night he comes rolling up to my house (in a rather bad part of town) in this obviously really expensive and new sports car. The first thing he says to me upon entering the car is "how do you feel about your hair?" I thought he was going to ask me to get a hair cut, honest to god, but he wanted to put the top of his car down. Again, too shy to refuse, he did. Our destination was pretty far from my house (second red flag) and on the highway, he began talking about how fabulous his car was and how fast it could go. He proceeded to give me a demonstration of how fast it could go. Mind you, I am TERRIFIED of driving. I'm a very nervous passenger, and I just about threw up all over his nice leather interior.
We had dinner, which was awkward, because I'm shy as hell and we had very little in common apart from liking video games, and at one point he asked me if I was seriously not going to eat the rest of my meal. I have bad social anxiety and refrain from eating in public whenever possible. Red flag number three.
We then went to see a movie, which he surprisingly didn't talk through, but not before learning he is a terrible racist. Upon parking his car at the cinema, he told me how worried he was when picking me up and recalled a time when he went to a really bad area of the state, and, considering how expensive his car was, was terrified. He said something along the lines of "I was afraid that the niggers were going to sell my car for parts!" When driving me home, he tried to insist he wasn't racist, that was "just the way he felt". Needless to say, things did not progress from there.

*ahem*

I'm a single guy, a gamer, I dont exercise nor have money (God this all sounds so unappealing).

What say you to a date, ma'am? It cant be any worse than what you had to endure. Who knows, love might blossom on The Escapist!

EDIT: I'm not a douche bag. Thats something at least!

Never really did much dating. Lucked into most of my sex and my current amazing relationship. But I did once meet my 10 year older than me friend with benefits for lunch at the same cafe my step-mum was getting her coffee. That was a bit awkward.

I've never been on a weird date, luckily! :D
But then again... I've never been on a date at all.

So lonely T-T

Nothing Tra La La:
Oh jeez OP. I would highly advise against going out with that guy again (for your own safety!)

I ended up on a date with a guy a few months ago who I met at a game store. He seemed nice enough, so I agreed. He offered to picked me up (first red flag) but I was too shy to decline, so on date-night he comes rolling up to my house (in a rather bad part of town) in this obviously really expensive and new sports car. The first thing he says to me upon entering the car is "how do you feel about your hair?" I thought he was going to ask me to get a hair cut, honest to god, but he wanted to put the top of his car down. Again, too shy to refuse, he did. Our destination was pretty far from my house (second red flag) and on the highway, he began talking about how fabulous his car was and how fast it could go. He proceeded to give me a demonstration of how fast it could go. Mind you, I am TERRIFIED of driving. I'm a very nervous passenger, and I just about threw up all over his nice leather interior.
We had dinner, which was awkward, because I'm shy as hell and we had very little in common apart from liking video games, and at one point he asked me if I was seriously not going to eat the rest of my meal. I have bad social anxiety and refrain from eating in public whenever possible. Red flag number three.
We then went to see a movie, which he surprisingly didn't talk through, but not before learning he is a terrible racist. Upon parking his car at the cinema, he told me how worried he was when picking me up and recalled a time when he went to a really bad area of the state, and, considering how expensive his car was, was terrified. He said something along the lines of "I was afraid that the niggers were going to sell my car for parts!" When driving me home, he tried to insist he wasn't racist, that was "just the way he felt". Needless to say, things did not progress from there.

The only thing that saves this story is the last bit.

Otherwise, you sound like a shitty date. He offers to pick you up, which is traditional (if not wise, but certainly traditional) - and something you could have said 'no' to. He shows up in a nice car in a bad part of town, so he's obviously trying to impress you (or he just has a nice car and is trying to impress everyone). He takes the time to consider your hair before taking the top down, which is nice of him. The speeding thing is old school 'How to Impress Women' - and was probably a bad move on his part since you don't make mention that you told him you had "Emily Dickinson" levels of social anxiety. You guys have dinner, and apparently you talk very little and don't eat that much. Then he's courteous during a movie.

None of your "Red Flags" seem valid. Aside from being a racist, he seems like an average guy and it's you that has the problem. Hell, I wouldn't take you out again after all that.

One day when I was in high school, I happened to be wearing an adidas shirt with a Greek flag on it, despite not being Greek. While I was at my locker, a girl came up to me and asked me if I was Greek. I told her I wasn't.

A couple of months later, the same girl saw me in the cafeteria having lunch alone and sat beside me. We had a conversation about clothing brands. I really didn't (and still don't) care about clothing brands, and I wear clothes based on how comfortable they are, and how well they fit (which at the time, was mostly adidas shirts/track pants) and then she asked me out on a date for the next day in the school cafeteria/library. I didn't really know this girl, but I thought "ehh, sure why not? I've got nothing to lose."

There, I found out even more stuff about her that I wasn't interested in at all, and she got asked "Is that your boyfriend?" in the hall by her friends, to which she replied "Yes! I love him!" I still couldn't figure out how a girl who didn't really know me at all, and didn't have anything in common with me could possibly love me. We never exchanged phone numbers or anything by the end of the "date". After that day, we never met again (thankfully.)

chaos order:

Beffudled Sheep:

chaos order:

who needs love? i do that on a weekly basis. im thinking of starting my own Nike factory

Hey! Don't you dare try to move in on my business! you can start making Uggs if you want but Nikes are mine!

UGGS? you know what nevermind ill just sell the children

Uggs are big among highschool and college girls in the states. You could make tons of money! I hear children go for a high price on the black market.

Lmao awesome read. very weird indeed. a lot of self-obsessed body builders are boring people like that. I did have a friend who liked working out, he was cool but guess what he did every day? Work out and talk about his car. The conversations i had with him were so lame. As much as he was a cool guy, he was boring as hell.

I don;t think i'd be able to go out with someone random, through fear of bad situations like that :P
i guess let that be a lesson xD

Oh god, the memories this brings up.

Alright, where do I start...

It was nearly a year and a half back, I was on a train. I don't remember the exact circumstances, but somehow we had a little, really enjoyable conversation and before she left the train, we exchanged phone numbers.

So we talked on the phone, by text, etc. for quite a few times when I decide to go to her place (she lived quite a bit (around 50km) away at the time), so I went there and...

...yeah. It was really, really awkward. As if all the conversations we had before didn't matter. I felt really uncomforatble. That's not all, but we were not alike at all. I'm the random, creative type and she's the steady, reading type. I study business and marketing, she studied english literature.

But because of the distance we had quite a few things planned (cooking together, seeing a movie, going shopping together) and it took FOR EVER. It was laughably horrible.

I will always refer to that time as "the faildate".

Beffudled Sheep:

chaos order:

Beffudled Sheep:
Hey! Don't you dare try to move in on my business! you can start making Uggs if you want but Nikes are mine!

UGGS? you know what nevermind ill just sell the children

Uggs are big among highschool and college girls in the states. You could make tons of money! I hear children go for a high price on the black market.

The black market you say?i suppose that beats craigs list or ebay

Moonlight Butterfly:
Lol the OP's story is so freaking wierd....

I think the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me as a guy chatting me up for ages and then suddenly acting like nothing had ever happened.

I liked him so I was pretty hurt. I would have just put it down to me being 'not good enough' or whatever but he was the one coming on strong. Then one day he just acted like we had always been just friends and denied he had ever said anything romantic to me. It was like I was talking to a completely different person.

It was really confusing especially since I had only just gotten out of an abusive relationship. We are good friends now and I try not to hold it against him but I still feel rather bitter about it.

That's kinda similar to my current situation...

There's a girl I work with, a few years younger than me. We've known each other for two years and we see each other at work every fortnight (she's part time.) Anyway we've always got on really well, laughed and joked and sometimes shared personal problems/stories etc. We're also quite flirty with each other, she'll often lean in really close to look at some paperwork with me or find a reason to touch me, albeit in a friendly manner.

So about a month ago I work up the courage to ask her out. She split with her boyfriend about two weeks ago and just started the whole "I'm single now" moaning, so I figured it might be a hint. I ask her out rather awkwardly and she laughs and says yes. She looks really quite happy about it. She says that she needs to get back to me on a date when she'll be free because she's very busy, which I know to be true. I text her later that evening saying how I hoped I hadn't jeopardised our friendship and she says it's still very much intact. Sounds good.

Anyway, 2 weeks pass and I've heard nothing. I haven't prompted her because I didn't want to be pushy. Our working weekend comes around again and she says nothing and acts just like I never said anything to her. At the end of the weekend, rather miffed about her indifference, I ask if she wants to go out with me sometime that week, trying to be more specific and pin an actual date down. I even casually say "if you don't want to, just let me know." Again she says she'll get back to me, this time I should know that night. Again nothing happens and every time I see her she acts like I never asked her out. We're still friends, she's still flirty around me and I'm totally clueless!

Now you might all say that she's just trying to spare my feelings and not tell me that she finds me repulsive. But she's the kindest and most honest person I know, partly the reason I took a chance and asked her out in the first place, because I knew she wouldn't lie to me. Some intuition I have, huh? It's quite baffling. Stranger still, while she was still with her previous boyfriend she once said how she'd like to "go out somewhere with me." I said it wasn't a good idea on account of her bf and she said that he "didn't have to know." I nipped that one in the bud at the time but none of these actions seem to add up.

SaetonChapelle:

He picks me up and says he needs to do some shopping. I agree to go along, and on the way he only speaks about his tons of money that he has and the expensive items he spends it on. I'm a college student living in a box-like apartment eating raman and at times rats when they venture in, money is a rather rare thing for me. As we get to the store, and about ten minutes in he states "Oh man, we need to get matching bathrobes! For, like, when you sleep over at my place!"

twenty minutes into dinner he exclaims he wants to "get serious, no lies up in here bro". first date mind you. I attempted to make small talk while trying to get a hold of friends, and he insisted on bringing me to his house.

Beautiful home, but his only furniture was a couch, tv, beer pong table, and a work out bench. So as I uncomfortably watched "Office Space" on his lonely couch in the dark unfurnished room, he proceeded to place his body on my lap while his friends worked out and did manly 'dude" things, whatever that may be. (Insert manly grunting noises while doing push ups. Whatever you desire). Pretty sure one was making peach cobbler as well. Maybe with his muscles, but it was happening. Damn he was enthusiastic about stirring.

Needless to say I have been avoiding the countless texts he has sent me about dating. Although I have informed him I was not interested for various reasons he still has not gotten the hint. I suppose I deserve this for going out with a random dude.

Topic: So Escapists, make me feel better. Tell me about an interesting, awkward, entertaining date you've experienced. :3

Ok, just an FYI, if a guy ever says anything like this to you on a first date, you absolutely, under no circumstances, DON'T go to his house.

If I were you, I'd skip all the 'nice' options, and go with what someone above me said, and take out a restraining order on this creepy fucker.

Back on Topic (ish) I don't really have any interesting, amusing, awkward OR entertaining dateing stories. I rarely even get to the stage of asking a girl out, through a combination of extreme self loathing and... well, actually, its just self loathing. Though I have been interested in a girl very much in the same position as the OP. Six long years I carried a torch for her. Granted, when I first met her, she had a deadbeat boyfriend who was cheating on her, and I have asked her out several times over the years (though they were like, the worst asking outs of all time), but this year I managed to almost seal the deal.

Turns out it wasn't gonna happen though. Last time I saw her she told me she'd been seeing someone new for six months. Even though I asked her out five months prior to that and she told me she wasn't seeing anyone. To top it all off, she then said 'well, take care of yourself', which we all know is code for 'goodbye forever.'

I dont have fun dating stories, just fun being turned down stories. One girl I asked out said she couldn't go out with me because I was 'too healthy', dunno how that works.

Proverbial Jon:
Snip

I'm condensing my reply as much as possible here to avoid an analysis; cut the leash and find someone who wants to be with you. Better you do this now before she starts bemoaning about another guy she actually wants to sleep with and emotionally harms you.

Cut. The. Leash.

Well that's just creepy.
Personally I've never had such a weird date.
Actually I've never been on a date. Now I'm sad.

Well that was certainly horrifying OP...sounded like it anyway...I would have tried talking my way out of going to the guy's house honestly.

Generally I'm the awkward one when it comes to dating. I don't know how to start conversations (as you may have noticed from the number of threads I haven't started here) and when I do talk about things I tend to take the subject into strange, horrible directions (Oh no, I don't really want kids: I'd rather just beat strange ones and not have to take them home after) etc. Steady girlfriend now though so the awkwardness has subsided what with familiarity.

chaos order:

Beffudled Sheep:

chaos order:

UGGS? you know what nevermind ill just sell the children

Uggs are big among highschool and college girls in the states. You could make tons of money! I hear children go for a high price on the black market.

The black market you say?i suppose that beats craigs list or ebay

Don't be crazy! the FBI are on craig'slist and ebay just sucks.

Beffudled Sheep:

chaos order:

Beffudled Sheep:
Uggs are big among highschool and college girls in the states. You could make tons of money! I hear children go for a high price on the black market.

The black market you say?i suppose that beats craigs list or ebay

Don't be crazy! the FBI are on craig'slist and ebay just sucks.

its good to know that theres people like you to look out for me or who knows what would happen

chaos order:

Beffudled Sheep:

chaos order:

The black market you say?i suppose that beats craigs list or ebay

Don't be crazy! the FBI are on craig'slist and ebay just sucks.

its good to know that theres people like you to look out for me or who knows what would happen

I hear the FBI perform human sacrifices on their prisoners.

hmm...a muscular rich guy wants me long term, buys me stuff and makes peach cobbler...

I would have given him the benefit of the doubt but, meh, I do not have many options open right now

"Gurl, I just met you (and this is crazy?) and we're on our first date, but I love you so get out of my dreams and into my bed so we can make beautiful muscular babies together.

I am so goddamn rich."

Essentially what I got out of the guy in the OP's story. Luckily, I don't go out with random people, so I don't have any of these stories to share.

ImBigBob:
Why on earth would you stay with him so long? I would have ditched him really quickly for how creepy he was being.

I haven't been on any "weird" dates, just uncomfortable ones. And my success rate with asking girls out in person is a whopping 0%. At this point a stranger is about as attractive to me as a blank wall.

At least you've been on dates.

There was this one girl I liked and we hung out often, well often for me anyway maybe we'd meet up once a month maybe twice usually for a movie or something sometimes the cinema sometimes my place, anyway I thought I really liked this girl because I didn't have the same usual awkwardness that I do with most other members of my own species, so I worked up my courage and Valentines' day 2011 I asked her if she would go out with me.

Now I am sure you've heard of the infamous friend zone, well I got worse I got Bro-zoned. She literally told me that she thought of me like a brother. we left on what I thought were good terms and I sent her an apology email for the awkward situation I'd put her into the next day. Apart from the occasional very polite exchange when she goes through my register for smokes she hasn't spoken to me since. I've tried issuing some invites for movies the same kind of thing we used to do but to no response.

That was the closest I have ever come to an actual date before or since so as far as this thread goes I am tapped

As far as I can tell by your story, he's a insecure douchebag who tried to buy you, because he can't get a girlfriend any other way.

Pathetic.

Run, sis!

To be fair, I'd be too awkward and shy to tell him to piss off too, sounds like something I'd do.
I can guess he's so egotistical that there can't possibly be a girl that doesn't like him! ;o

As for me, I don't "date" as such. As in, I don't arrange to do something with someone other than a boyfriend and I never have in hopes it'd go somewhere.
Years ago (Just before my first serious relationship, must have been 14) there was a guy my friend introduced me to who I used to speak to on MSN and we liked each other quite a lot. He lived just down the road from me so one night we arranged to take our dogs for a walk at about 8/9pm when it was dark.
Well I met him and he was the campest person I'd ever met at that point. He insisted he was straight which I found hard to believe, but just thought he might have been very camp. Spent about an hour together and kissed a few times, I kept thinking "Is this even doing anything for him??!" We had a 'thing' for a couple of months. On reflection, he was a terrible person.
We stopped speaking years ago but I remember sometime after when he tried making amends, he told me he had sex with a guy but was still insisting he wasn't gay XD I think he's finally come out of the closet now, I just hope it wasn't me that turned him gay!

Another time I was in town with a boyfriend and we were sat on a patch of grass, laying down and cuddling for a bit. We started taking pictures of both of us, and this Asian guy in his late 20s/30s who I didn't know, sat down with us with the biggest smile on his face. He was casually talking to us like he'd known us for years and asked us to show him the pictures we took. I think he asked if he could get in a picture too...
He was like "Awww, look how cute you are! You two make a nice couple. This is nice. You two are nice. You are always nice."
We grabbed our things, excused ourselves and ran to the train station. I was kinda worried in case he followed me home e_e

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