A cult forms around you. How do you react?

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I get anxious trying to keep track of a lie. I could not keep it up, I'd crack after maybe about a fifth of a second in and tell them all I'm a phoney. I wish I could say I'd have the cultists all trained as some kind of assassin-harem, but I'd feel guilty the moment someone so much as praised me.

These people are obviously delusional in some regard and though it might be incredibly dangerous to do so, I'd ask them why they were worshiping me in the first place. After that well, if they really insisted that I was a god, I'd give them directions to carve out a huge mountain temple inside one of the mountains near the city I live. Upon completion of that particularly monumental project, I'd instruct them to live out their lives there quietly, being friendly and monastic and generally leaving the non-delusional people alone.

If it was a nice place, I might actually even move there. But it's not likely.

I immediately set in motion my plans to destroy Hollywood.

Let's say for the sake of argument, that through a series of random coincidences, a group of people, let's say about 500, got it into their heads that you were god and began worshipping you as such. When you found out about this, what would you do next?

Koolaid party.


See if they can build giant robots then take over the world.

In reality seek professional help for them.

Another cult based around me? Well fuck, I guess I'll write another book of doctrine and impart it uppon them, then start a few little... projects, with about 500 people, I could probably spread the "Word" all the faster, having to do little outside of writing another book, and let them grow my personal army, then, I take a couple of small countries, not overtly, more of a puppet state dealy, control them, turn them into productive, progressive states, slowly build up forces, infiltrate a few more countries, and within say... 30 years, own the fuckin' world...

Then, reach for space!

Another one?

Hmm... okay. Day in life, I guess.

I would just like them to give me all their money, worship me, take care of me, and not have to pay taxes. But I dont hink I would actively try to expand the group.

i would say...

ARE YA FUCKIN' CRAZY?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

beyond that... i have no clue

The first thing I'd do is ask them wtf they were smoking since they decided to form a cult around -me- of all people. Especially since I've never said or done anything particularly profound to even warrant the notion of such a thing. After that I'd probably tell them to be nice to others and ask them to spread understanding for stuff like homosexuality, transsexuality and so on. That and be big supporters of scientific endavours. 'cuz science as a whole is awesome despite all the douchebags taking advantage of new inventions in horrible ways.

Get them doing something useful like fundraising for something I cared about. Dunno what yet though.

Maybe I could get them to stop the man with the penny whistle from playing, he makes my cringe go into overdrive.

Most likely I'd just use them to fix up my house.

I'd have them all go to a tour of the United States with me, and make them all wear gloves of fortitude so we can begin building a new world.

That depends, how many cute guys are in the cult? KIDDINGKIDDINGKIDDING.

I'd probably do my best to try and disband it. I'm not exactly what you'd call a rolemodel/saint/second coming.

I would be profoundly disturbed... It isn't something I want. At all.

Using my my scientific genius and my mastery of the mystic arts my minions and i shall amass a empire larger than the world has ever known, usurping the governing powers and seizing control.

And then i DOOM shall be master , of the world


500 Drooling retards at my command? Probably go crazy with power to be honest.

I would never ever have to do anything again it would be awesome :D

Look, you've got it all wrong,You don't need to follow me, you don't need to follow anyone.You've got to think for yourselves. You're all individuals!

YES! We are all Individuals!

Probably something like this...

I'd just be really lazy and make them do everything for me, and every now and then I would do something to make sure they still believe I am god-like (fake a vision or something)

I wouldn't let them think I was a god, I would set them straight and give them my best possible philosophy and leave them with the idea that they should believe what they personally wish to believe based on truths and morality. However if the cult continued to exist, I'd modify it to serve some of my needs, while giving them a sense of belonging. I'm not above using people who have been explicitly told I'm not what they were led to believe I am. After awhile I feel the whole thing would blow over anyway, I'd certainly do my best to make sure it didn't get out of hand.

Make them commit horrendous atrocities in my name until i eventually get bored of them and we'd have a nice ol' mass suicide BBQ it be great!

I'd demand money to live comfortably and sex from the hot members.
And the recruitment of more members.

But I wouldn't be excessive to avoid getting noticed by the authority.... actually, I'd impose a strict code of secrecy.


I believe it would be quite a bit like this moment in Life of Brian.

How I'd react?

SWEET!!!! I have my personal army of brainwashed minions!!!

Time to start the plan...

I get them to do shit for me. I'd get any super intelligent cultists to do my uni course for me.

There's already a cult formed around me. I do drop by once in a while, and they bow and kiss my hooves. This loving act makes me blush a little bit. Then they form a circle around me, eager to begin their worship of me. I accept their love, and I return the gesture to every single one of them. They don't tire me out, but they do make even the most boring of weeks interesting!

I'd tell them all to go jump off a bridge.

Daystar Clarion:
I get uncomfortable with the whole 'forum celebrity' thing around here as it is, having a cult form around me would probably make me have an aneurysm.

ALL HAIL DAYSTAR!!!! well we do anyways :P

but seriously I would go through three stages, disbelief, denial and ??

the ironic thing is, according to some of my friends I have a fan club. I am currently in the denial stage.

Tell them to get a life, go home and leave me the hell alone.

Seriously I hate the idea of anyone thinking I should be worshiped.
Probably tell them to smack themselves once a day for being so dense though.


Dunno where they'd get a warped idea like that, but...

I'd explain my life philosophy at length (they are welcome to write it down), maybe try to establish a church of tolerance (any gender, race, orientation, etc.) and say that really my dad is a much better role model for you to emulate. Because he is.

You know, that sounds kinda like what Jesus did. Love your neighbor, praise my father and all that jazz :)

As for me? Well, if I can't get them to stop following me, guess I'll just get them to stop living. "End your lives and thou shall attain eternal bliss!" or something like that. I really don't like fanatics.
And then I probably kill myself, 'cause 500 people just died because of me.

Hmmm, I never thought about it that way before :). Completely serious though- don't make the church of me, I'm a lazy bum who plays video games too much. Make the church of St. Paul (my dad's name, which I realize has its own religious connotations). Despite being in advertising he is the most honest, optimistic and hardworking person I know in the whole world.

How any God should react.

I'd say, "Figure it out".

And tell them nothing else.

Probably something like this...

Is it wrong that I have never seen this wonderful clip?

Highfive everyone and call them all awesome people
Then tell them to go home and enjoy something they like
Before that though have epic LAN party with everyone or play Planetside 2

I am no god, but do good things for others regardless. There's no legitimite god who preaches against that.

Yeah, I'd say something about like that.

Create an Activist/Hacktivist group and pretty much declare war on the corrupt and greedy. None of that peaceful sign crap either. Hack their accounts and ruin their lives. People who value money above all else are roaches. We would bring forth a new age where the powerful do not control the weak.

Gonna stop barfing my delusions the internet now.

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