Mom just got you an iPhone for Christmas!

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R.Nevermore:
Now what do you think of these rules? Are they sane at all? Do you think this is a good way to teach your stun phone etiquette?

For a 13 year old they are more than fair. If he is intelligent as his mother seems to think he is, they are unnecessary, but if not then this is a good way to do things.

Personally, If my mom gave me a phone with these rules I'd give it back and say, I don't want 'your phone' as a gift. If your are kind enough to give me a gift, make it mine.
Ill translate these rules into one phrase: "I fear the way technology is changing the world, so you're going to curl up in a ball and hide from it. "[/quote]
IMO tin foil hat talk. There is nothing to have a problem with with these rules unless you are looking to break other rules, like the "No texting in class" rules. Mostly this is a "You will not turn into one of those teenages douches who spend 14 hours a day on their phone and take 500 pictures a day of themself with their phone whilst texting their friends all night and not paying attention in class because they're too busy texting each other", and there is nothing wrong with this.
Before someone calls hyperbole on that, its not. That is a description of how my sister uses her phone. She spends the entire day and half the night on it, including during class, and is ALWAYS taking pictures of herself - generally 20 at a time because she can push the button a lot of times for shits and giggles.

News flash! Landlines are dead. Treating your cellphone like a landline is foolish. What's the point in a cellphone if you can't take it to school or out with you at all?

1. Landlines aren't dead. There's a reason a lot of phone calls still come through my families.
2. She isn't saying "Pretend your mobile is a landline". She's saying that if you wouldn't call someone else's landline, or their parents' mobile phone as the case may be, then don't call/text their phone. Basically, if its something you absolutely HAVE to hide from their parents, don't do it.
Why have a phone if you can't take it to school?
To call your friends from home without bugging the rest of your family?
To call your friends when you're in the car on your way to some place?
To call your friends when you're out of the house?
To call your parents to pick you up in an emergency?

There are PLENTY of reasons to have a mobile beyond using it at school. School is potentially the one place your really don't need it, because you're there to pay attention in class and learn, not text your friends and ignore the teacher. She never put a limit on taking it out with you, only saying that sometimes you should leave it at home.

'Wonder without Googling?' One of the things that has always captivated me about our time is that if there's EVER anything we don't know, the answer is right at our fingertips. Expanding our knowledge base thousands of times over. Why deny that?

Because Google is not the answer to everything. Go on Yahoo answers and check for questions asked like "I have an exam tomorrow and need to know the significance of the number 4 in a Midsummer's night Dream". They will receive responses generally along the lines of "Don't be lazy and rely on the Internet for your answers, get a brain and think for yourself. We're not helping you cheat your way through an exam without having done any work".
Basically, think first. If you can't come up with an answer, ask your parents/teachers/friends. If they can't come up with an answer, Google. Resorting to Google as a first resort is a sign of the weak who are unable to think. Google should NEVER be the first thing you use to solve a problem. That privilege always goes to your brain.

The not taking photos rule baffles me.

Not the emphasis of "Zillions of Photos". Its not "Don't take any photos", its don't take a f***ton of photos. That is good advice and a good rule. Take photo's where its important and you need to make a memory, don't take them for shits and giggles like 90% of teenagers these days.

Telling him what music to download?

The last lot seem more recommendations than actual rules, as there is no way you could enforce this, but look at the guidelines for what music to download. Its rather vague:
"New", "Classic" or "Something other than what everyone else is listening to".
Basically, New music, Old Music, and Music that others don't listen to is fine to download. Aka: Any music ever. Mostly though that paragraph is intended as a "Don't just go with the flow, take your own path" piece of advice. The rules are a mix of good rules for a phone user, and general parenting merged together.

I have to stop. But I could go on all day. Sufficed to say that she should have gotten her son a cordless Telegraph transmitter for a gift... Since she's so afraid of change.
The point is, you teach your child respect through example, not ridiculous lists of rules.

Sadly this does not always work. Rules and punishment don't always work either. A good path to parenting is to use a balance of both. Its is nigh impossible to teach respect through example to a lot of teenagers, largely because they don't see you as giving them respect unless you let them have their way the whole time, and that is one of the worst things you can do.

fenrizz:

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

First part is fine, phones do not go to school.
Second part is, well, bullshit. Texting people usually mean that they are not currently present, thus making conversation face to face nigh impossible.

A lot of people will actually text the person sitting next to them.

10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person -- preferably me or your father.

Another American afraid of porn and/or sex, what a surprise.

This is his phone, which he'd be using in public. Though probably as you said, he is thirteen, and we don't know the rules for private use of a computer or something like that.

OT: This all seems like a list of recommendations. I doubt the kid is going to be sent to the noose for screwing up, and most of them seem fairly good to me.

I bought myself new phone with my own money (htc one s), but surprisingly Id fit into all the rules she gives, I dont really see what is wrong with them. Except for not knowing pass and turning it off in evening, how would I know what time it is in morning...

Well someone has a control freak for a mother. If anything, the only thing that contract would teach him is "don't sign anything"

Just be happy your folks seemed to be able to afford to get you one. Some people don't get a lot (if anything) for Christmas. You are 13 and I doubt you need an iPhone, a cell phone I could understand, but this is a luxury item, so stop being ungrateful. If you were able to live without one before, living with one with a few rules attached to it is not bad.

I get that the rules are a bit much, but hey. I would have told them to return it if it bothered me that much and got them to exchange it for something else, politely of course.

chozo_hybrid:
Just be happy your folks seemed to be able to afford to get you one. Some people don't get a lot (if anything) for Christmas. You are 13 and I doubt you need an iPhone, a cell phone I could understand, but this is a luxury item, so stop being ungrateful. If you were able to live without one before, living with one with a few rules attached to it is not bad.

I get that the rules are a bit much, but hey. I would have told them to return it if it bothered me that much and got them to exchange it for something else, politely of course.

But it isn't a gift... It's an option for a loan.
If anything it's probably a vile scheme by his mother to have her son more dependent on her, thus giving her more conrol over him.

Yes... I see it now. It all makes sense now

/me jumps in the river

"So like my mom got me an iPhone" "cool let me check it out" "It's not here, it's locked in an underground facility with maximum security"
Why the fuck should'nt he take it to school? What if something happens? What if he hasn't come home for some reason and they want to contact him? Oh they can't because the fucking phone is not on him.
All these rules are just shouting "REBEL AGAINST ME", it's stupid just let him live life and deal with it the way he wants to, what's with all the philosophical shit?

Also, why give a 13-year-old boy an iPhone? A basic flip phone will do.

A couple ok rules there completely drowned out by the rest of the stupid shit. That mother has control issues if that story's true.

ecoho:
and thus i would throw the phone at my mother and say im moveing out if you have a problem with that talk to my lawyer(have an IQ of about 280 so this may not be the best case for anyone else:)

Erm...

...

Uhhh... yes, 280 IQ indeed.

ecoho:
and thus i would throw the phone at my mother and say im moveing out if you have a problem with that talk to my lawyer(have an IQ of about 280 so this may not be the best case for anyone else:)

Wow, I didn't know we had the smartest man of all time on the Escapist!

Well, you learn something new everyday.

cloroxbb:
I think your Mom is awesome! Its obvious that most of the replies here are by those that are probably close to your age. If you dont like the rules, just leave the phone off and at home, its not like you are being forced to use the thing. I think some of those are crazy but thats not the point of the rule list. You will see the point eventually I hope. :)

You understand that the OP isn't actually the kid who got the phone right?

He's just repeating a news story......

You get that don't you?

Wow this mom is kind an idiot.

"Well, since it is going to break, I am just going to buy one myself, without the retarded contract, and I will be smarter than you because I will get fuckin phone insurance on it."

Also 11 is ridiculous. If your parents call and you want to ignore them you just say "Sorry mom/dad I was talking to a person and I turned my phone off like you told me to. Yes I was speaking to my friends for 3 hours, I am not going to turn my phone on and off every time a new conversation starts."

Seriously...Whoever came up with that list of conditions fails horribly. Particularly for making it an iPhone instead of a much cheaper android. Seriously, if you are going to get your kid a smart phone, go for a more durable cheaper one instead of tossing an overly expensive white brick in his lap. particularly if you are going to make him pay for it when something happens to it.

How incredibly disrespectful. Instead of talking to the child and instilling values in him they write out a contract peppered with threats, accusations and contradictions. Why do peopled expect their teenager to respect them when they themselves refuse to show them basic courtesy?

fenrizz:

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

thats almost an "economic hitman" tactic.

give them someting expensive and easy to break but keep the ownership so the sorry blokes have to work their days of to repay the debt.

Why buy a smartphone if it can't be used for any of the stuff that smartphones are made for? If I were the kid I'd just say "nope.avi" and keep using my old phone.

Kids these days probably care a lot more about phones then I do but at 13 I think I would've been much happier with a new consoles + games. Granted she might think of a long list of rules for that as well, but at least she saves some money out of it. :)

Some of these rules make sense like "Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that." Although the first sentence is dumb; why do I have to turn off my phone if I'm just walking down the street? The rest of that rule is good though. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people don't turn off their phone at the movies, or at least silence it! At the same time, some of the other rules are a little ridiculous like "censoring yourself." That's what being with one's friends is about. I'm not comfortable around their parents, I'm comfortable with them. I can say whatever the hell I want.

Overall, these rules are hit and miss. Some of them are things that someone should be instilled with since they're kids like respect for others and a sense of adventure and curiosity. All of these things come with living, they don't revolve around a damn phone.

Also, I may not be the biggest Apple fan, but iPhones are what's part of this generation. Just like you wanted a Game Boy Color like the ones your friends had as a kid instead of the standard black-and-white Game Boy--and I was one of the kids who got the black and white one--kids nowadays want the iPhone and not the Galaxy or whatever phones exist nowadays. Granted, it's more expensive than what you used to get when you were a child, but if my kid deserves it and it's what they want, then why not? Although I would really hope that if my kid wanted the Game Boy Color and I gave them the b&w one, they wouldn't throw a hissy fit and shit-talk me on their twitter like I see some brats do on the Internet nowadays.

So that's what it would be like to have overly controlling parents? Good Lord that sounds horrible.
Suddenly a lot more appreciative of all the liberties my parents let me have when I was growing up.

I don't know, some of these rules are reasonable, but some of it just seems ridiculous and reeks of perceived cultural superiority. Like a grown up version of the people who believe that "All the popular things are getting worse and worse! Only the classics and non-popular genres will remain good!" Especially the whole "Take zillions of photos and don't download only pop music". Let kids like what they like. A person's taste in music has no bearing on their intelligence. You can listen to whatever "boring, mainstream, pop music" you want and still be able to discuss quantum physics the next. Taking a whole bunch of photos doesn't necessarily equate to a bad thing either. If people are allowed to not follow the norm, then other people should be allowed to if they so choose.

Supertegwyn:

ecoho:
and thus i would throw the phone at my mother and say im moveing out if you have a problem with that talk to my lawyer(have an IQ of about 280 so this may not be the best case for anyone else:)

Wow, I didn't know we had the smartest man of all time on the Escapist!

Well, you learn something new everyday.

cloroxbb:
I think your Mom is awesome! Its obvious that most of the replies here are by those that are probably close to your age. If you dont like the rules, just leave the phone off and at home, its not like you are being forced to use the thing. I think some of those are crazy but thats not the point of the rule list. You will see the point eventually I hope. :)

You understand that the OP isn't actually the kid who got the phone right?

He's just repeating a news story......

You get that don't you?

Nope, I sure didnt :) Haha, seriously didnt see the link at the very top. Oh well. Doesnt change my thoughts on the subject.

Jacco:
Am I the only one here that has a problem with a 13 year old being given a smartphone?

No, you're not. I can see why you would want to give your kid a regular cell phone (even though I still think that would be unnecessary, I won't argue), but a smart phone is just ludicrous. Basically, they're giving the kid a super expensive unneeded toy, and if a 13 year old wants that, they can save up and pay for at least part of it. Of course, I've seen way too many kids around that age (and older, I might add) that have their faces buried in their high-tech devices when they should be interacting with other people.

ohnoitsabear:

Jacco:
Am I the only one here that has a problem with a 13 year old being given a smartphone?

No, you're not. I can see why you would want to give your kid a regular cell phone (even though I still think that would be unnecessary, I won't argue), but a smart phone is just ludicrous. Basically, they're giving the kid a super expensive unneeded toy, and if a 13 year old wants that, they can save up and pay for at least part of it. Of course, I've seen way too many kids around that age (and older, I might add) that have their faces buried in their high-tech devices when they should be interacting with other people.

Its the same as an iPod touch but with phone call making capabilities... I guess you are also not okay with a 13 year old having a computer then?

IMO as long as that stuff is monitored and regulated (by attentive parents) then there is no problem with it. But of course, thats usually not the case :(

Lethos:
So that's what it would be like to have overly controlling parents? Good Lord that sounds horrible.
Suddenly a lot more appreciative of all the liberties my parents let me have when I was growing up.

I feel the same way here. I was ecstatic to receive an iPod Touch at age 13 from my dad, and he never set any rules around it. Aside from him buying additional accessories for me, I even had to learn how to care for it on my own. Despite that, I've used this iPod responsibly for nearly three years now with no repairs needed or issues from my parents or my school (I do take it to school with me). In fact, I would have only broken one or two of the more sensible rules in this mom's contract if I was her son (although my 3rd gen iPod doesn't have a camera anyway). My parents aren't perfect, as they do other things I resent, but they definitely taught me to treasure my possessions well through their own treatment of things.

It's easy to make rules, but teaching the values and virtues behind those rules can be much harder. That's where this mom falls short, and where my parents, among others, deserve some credit.

If someone was ignorant enough to buy their kid an iPhone I would expect no less ignorance in making a list of contrived and demeaning rules.

I wouldn't argue those rules. Mainly because... I don't want an iPhone. All those rules are just further encouragement to not use it, so... thanks mum?

x EvilErmine x:

I agree, though I would add that while taking and keeping the photos for your self is fine. For the love of all things dear and fluffy then don't upload every single one to twitter/facebook/bloger/etc...

Anyway I wouldn't want an iPhone even if it were free.

Off topic.
Hey hows it going? It's been a while. You have a good Christmas and new year?

Yeah I just wondered why they considered it a bad thing to have nice pictures to look back on. That doesn't include duck face pictures taken in the bathroom :P

I had a really nice Christmas and new year thanks! Got to see some family I haven't seen in a while. How was yours?

Thanks mum but you got me a new phone not 6 months ago....

As for the rules, keep the phone... I would much rather have a £10 phone with a green screen, no camera and the only game is snake but be able to call it mine.

I can kind of understand these rules, you want the kid to maintain your upbringing and not pick up bad habits but this is too dictatorship-ey to me

I... I agree with all the rules.
The kid is 13, and his mother still has the job of raising him.
These rules in no way over the top or crazy, and actually has an explanation attached to each one.

The kid will eventually grow older and be free to do as he wishes, but with these lessons in mind.

Tayh:
He has my sympathy.
He could always return it(if he hasn't opened it yet), use the money to buy a cheaper and better phone and then use the leftover money on himself or on a gift for his mom.
And the best part is, this way you void all her rules, since they only applied to the iphone.

"1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?"

You would just up and sell something that isn't yours?

OT Most of the rules seem common sense. Like don't get overly attached to your phone and don't say anything over phone or text you won't say in person. In fact in context of giving it to a 13yr old I would probably make restrictions like this and slowly unrestrict as the kid got older.

Xaio30:

These rules in no way over the top or crazy, and actually has an explanation attached to each one.

I take it you didn't read rules 3, 4, 5, 9, 11, or 14?

OT: The woman is stupid. She claims that her son owns the phone and contradicts that right away in rule 1. She thinks memories are eternal. She doesn't have a concept of what a smartphone is (maybe not even a cellphone) and is apparently willing to let her son get in situations more dangerous than they should be just so that he can "feel safe in leaving the phone at home". Bad parenting in action.

Cazza:

Tayh:
He has my sympathy.
He could always return it(if he hasn't opened it yet), use the money to buy a cheaper and better phone and then use the leftover money on himself or on a gift for his mom.
And the best part is, this way you void all her rules, since they only applied to the iphone.

"1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?"

You would just up and sell something that isn't yours?

OT Most of the rules seem common sense. Like don't get overly attached to your phone and don't say anything over phone or text you won't say in person. In fact in context of giving it to a 13yr old I would probably make restrictions like this and slowly unrestrict as the kid got older.

Why not? He would have to pay to replace it anyway :P

If he was smart he would sell it, get a phone thats cheaper and better and get an insurance plan on the phone.

cloroxbb:

ohnoitsabear:

Jacco:
Am I the only one here that has a problem with a 13 year old being given a smartphone?

No, you're not. I can see why you would want to give your kid a regular cell phone (even though I still think that would be unnecessary, I won't argue), but a smart phone is just ludicrous. Basically, they're giving the kid a super expensive unneeded toy, and if a 13 year old wants that, they can save up and pay for at least part of it. Of course, I've seen way too many kids around that age (and older, I might add) that have their faces buried in their high-tech devices when they should be interacting with other people.

Its the same as an iPod touch but with phone call making capabilities... I guess you are also not okay with a 13 year old having a computer then?

IMO as long as that stuff is monitored and regulated (by attentive parents) then there is no problem with it. But of course, thats usually not the case :(

I wouldnt get a 13 year old a computer that left the house ever, and a computer is rather harder to smash or than a smartphone. And you can bet on the fact that I wouldnt get a 13 year old an iPod touch, they would get a smaller cheaper equally as functional MP3 player. If they wanted the Touch they would get to provide the difference in cost.

Screamarie:
I find this absolutely hilarious. One minute the escapist cries foul at any parent that fucks up with their children and technology and say "It's the parents fault for not monitoring their children!" and then we get a parent who is taking an active and responsible role in their child's connection with technology and you say she's making "too many rules and restrictions."

I think it's great what that mom is doing, she's offering her child (A THIRTEEN year old. Not a sixteen year old, not an eighteen year old, THIRTEEN) an amazing piece of technology but also requiring him to use it responsibily. How many parents let their kids use xboxes, internet, and iphones without ever ONCE paying attention to the fact that their children could harm themselves, their parents, or others with that technology, intentionally or otherwise and then are surprised when their kids do it?

I think this mom is smart, she knows her child is still a child and will fuck up, she doesn't go to the default "my baby would never do a thing like that."

Also...it's...what...a 500 dollar phone? that she has to CONTINUE to pay for, for at least the next 3 years and possibly longer so you can bet your ass it's a loaner, and if he breaks it's only fair he pay to fix it.

Exactly. Even more hilarious is the fact that so many here are taking every single "rule" listed as literal. They're missing the meaning behind some. (also shows a general lack of maturity, in terms of a responsibility mindset)

Makes me wonder if many of them even read the "rules" in their entirety...

Frankly? I'd have been glad to have had some of those "rules" when I was a kid. At least, I'd be now. I might've hated it back then, but now I'd realize there's some wise ideals in there.

Madmanonfire:

Xaio30:

These rules in no way over the top or crazy, and actually has an explanation attached to each one.

I take it you didn't read rules 3, 4, 5, 9, 11, or 14?

Ahh... Ok then.

Rule 3: Be polite and say hello after you answer your phone, not "What do you want?" or some variation thereof right after picking it up. Talk to your parents when they want to talk to you.
There is nothing wrong with this rule.

Rule 4: Respect the parents in other families with your use of you phone, and give it to us at night shortly before your bed time so that you will not be distracted from studying by it, nor stay up all night using it.
This rule is fair.

Rule 5: Don't take your phone to school where its use will be to text those in other classes during class time, not paying attention to the teacher, and wasting time and money for both the phone and schooling.
Nothing wrong with that rule.

Rule 9: Be respectful to other in how you use your phone. Don't be an A-hole to others, and don't send across secrets that their parents could quite easily get a hold of with similar rules.
Nothing wrong with this rule.

Rule 11: Do not ignore the people around you in favour of using your phone - respect them and talk to them rather than someone who isn't there.
Nothing wrong with this rule.

Rule 14: You don't NEED your phone everywhere all the time. Feel free to leave it at home when you won't need it, rather than taking it to fit in with others.
I don't see what you could see wrong with this rule at all.

Basically, the rules you have a problem with are the ones that tell him to behave rather than acting like a disrespectful douche to everyone because he's got a phone he can use instead of them. If you think its fine to ignore someone talking to you in favour of texting someone, letting your phone go off in the cinema's in the middle of a movie, being rude and disrespectful to others, using your phone rather than paying attention in class, losing sleep and study in favour of wasting more phone credit, and generally clinging to your phone and ignoring the world in favour if it, then fine, those rules are over the top.
If you think its preferable for someone to be polite and respectful, however, those rules are fine. They don't restrict proper use of a mobile too much, but they do stop excessive use and rudeness caused by that excessive use.

the main things I disagree with is that its still the mums phone, and not to say things on the phone you wouldnt say in real life,

ecoho:
and thus i would throw the phone at my mother and say im moveing out if you have a problem with that talk to my lawyer(have an IQ of about 280 so this may not be the best case for anyone else:)

280? isnt that higher than whats ever been recorded?

Seriously, I would rather buy an iPhone myself than have all those rules pushed on me...not like I am skint anymore (thank you part-time work)

I have a phone that cost 40 Euro, does everything an iPhone can, without the inflated brand cost.

Madmanonfire:

Xaio30:

These rules in no way over the top or crazy, and actually has an explanation attached to each one.

I take it you didn't read rules 3, 4, 5, 9, 11, or 14?

OT: The woman is stupid. She claims that her son owns the phone and contradicts that right away in rule 1. She thinks memories are eternal. She doesn't have a concept of what a smartphone is (maybe not even a cellphone) and is apparently willing to let her son get in situations more dangerous than they should be just so that he can "feel safe in leaving the phone at home". Bad parenting in action.

I did read every rule.
These are acceptable rules at the age of 13, imo.
If he were 15+? Heck no.

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