what is maturity to you?

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I know the concept of maturity differs from culture to culture, and individuals of course, but things get real tricky when people consider maturity as an important trait but have no measurable or written description of what it is.

I've heard many girls say that they want a boyfriend that is mature, meaning that they have a job and don't do or say anything that she thinks are embarrassing or childlike.
Or that being self-sufficiant equals maturity, having a house and a car and no dependability on anyone.

Some people say that maturity means that you are completely in control of your emotions, you're no longer a dumbass teenager that does reckless or umpulsive things, you think them through and act responsibly.
I also heard it said that maturity is grounded in sexuality, as being part of the "productive" part of the population raising your kids.

I asked this question to a friend of mine and he said that there is no point of maturity, it's not some status you obtain, but it's more or less an estimate of immature->not very mature->quite mature->very mature.
Personality traits would indicate just exactly where you stand.

And other people say that it is completely irrelevant, and you should enjoy life without judging someone for being who they are, which may also be considered a very mature standpoint.

so, what is maturity to you, and how important is it?

I think of mature people as people who can understand more serious matters.

I find maturity to be the point in which you stop looking at how things affect you and instead how they effect everyone.

You do the right thing. Even when you want to do something else.

Examples
Could be as simple as answering someones question rather than making a joke about it.
Or
Helping someone do the dishes when you're in the middle of a game.

When day to day you do that. That is when you are mature.

Something to be avoided at all costs.

I consider it to be when you face up to stuff, you don't blow off work cos you got drunk the night before.... You don't even get drunk, maybe drink but not passed out in a gutter.

You don't need anybody else, either for money or emotional support or anything else. You think about others before yourself but don't people please.

You don't blindly follow or dominate, know when to bend and when to be firm.

When you can discuss stuff without name calling and being able to see the other person's stance and be respectful about it

have a sense of humour more sophisticated than dick or body fluid jokes

not self centered and understand how your actions affect others

I find maturity to be the ability to act as a true role-model.

A good way that I figure this out is by asking people what they think of (insert controversial topic here). If they consider all the aspects and keep a cool mind and argument, they are mature, even if their argument is wrong.

Understanding the consequences of one's actions and accounting for them.

JoJo:
Something to be avoided at all costs.

Maturity doesn't have to mean "being super-serious all the time".

It can just be knowing how to act in certain circumstances. Like say a funeral, don't go around complaining about how uncomfortable your shoes are

For me maturity is being old enough to know you don't want to grow up.

The moment I realized I was mature was when someone handed me a baby, instead of thinking "Oh, cute baby," I thought, "I better not drop this child, it may die," at that time I knew I was an adult.

Maturity to me, is evident in someone when I say "fuck, don't be a little bitch" on LoL, and they don't go "hurr I'ma report you for excessive use of language."

Seriously... Grow up people.

Being able to think about and deal with darker issues (i.e. rape)

LarenzoAOG:
The moment I realized I was mature was when someone handed me a baby, instead of thinking "Oh, cute baby," I thought, "I better not drop this child, it may die," at that time I knew I was an adult.

I think even juveniles understand such a basic premise. I sincerely doubt that's the litmus paper test appropriate to decide maturity.

Maturity to me now means dealing with adult stuff and being responsible and reasonable. I think it's better to find examples rather than some broad definition...

Combustion Kevin:
I know the concept of maturity differs from culture to culture, and individuals of course, but things get real tricky when people consider maturity as an important trait but have no measurable or written description of what it is.

I've heard many girls say that they want a boyfriend that is mature, meaning that they have a job and don't do or say anything that she thinks are embarrassing or childlike.
Or that being self-sufficiant equals maturity, having a house and a car and no dependability on anyone.

Some people say that maturity means that you are completely in control of your emotions, you're no longer a dumbass teenager that does reckless or umpulsive things, you think them through and act responsibly.
I also heard it said that maturity is grounded in sexuality, as being part of the "productive" part of the population raising your kids.

I asked this question to a friend of mine and he said that there is no point of maturity, it's not some status you obtain, but it's more or less an estimate of immature->not very mature->quite mature->very mature.
Personality traits would indicate just exactly where you stand.

And other people say that it is completely irrelevant, and you should enjoy life without judging someone for being who they are, which may also be considered a very mature standpoint.

so, what is maturity to you, and how important is it?

Just to dissect this post, I don't really see any of those statements as examples of maturity. Maturity isn't a matter of possessions but more an emotional/psychological state.

1. Having a job doesn't make you mature. That should be pretty clear as people begin work at 14 or so in Australia and most certainly are not mature.
2. Avoiding saying embarassing things doesn't make you mature. We'll all be in our 60s, 70s and 80s and make embarassing slips of the tongue. We'll be doing it all our lives.
3. Self sufficient, such as a house and car, doesn't make you 'mature'. Though I'd say you most certainly are not self sufficient, as you are somewhat at the mercy of your employer and your skillset and capabilities of finding a new job if things go pear shaped. People have houses and cars and still abuse children, fail to pay their bills, have their homes repossessed, commit crime, etc. etc. Again, I don't see possessions as an acquisition of maturity.
4. Completely in control of your emotions is a myth. I've never met anyone who is. It's just a part of our biology. We do learn how to express them in more socially acceptable means as we grow more mature, but that is more of a way we present our feelings and interact rather than some unrealistic "complete control" hoax.
5. Sexuality/being a part of the contributing population can't be part of maturity. There are many parents who choose not to have children (that number is growing), or gay couples who for obvious reasons will not contribute to the population pool.

Just some thoughts.

Indecipherable:

LarenzoAOG:
The moment I realized I was mature was when someone handed me a baby, instead of thinking "Oh, cute baby," I thought, "I better not drop this child, it may die," at that time I knew I was an adult.

I think even juveniles understand such a basic premise. I sincerely doubt that's the litmus paper test appropriate to decide maturity.

Maturity to me now means dealing with adult stuff and being responsible and reasonable. I think it's better to find examples rather than some broad definition...

A juvenile understands that stuff, but that's not immediately the first thing they think. Also I'd say juveniles understand that being mature "means dealing with adult stuff and being responsible and reasonable."

Physically maturity would be the age that food is ready for eating or when a creature is able to reproduce.
The state of mind however would be when one is able to fully comprehend all the effects of any action, long term and short term. Though because it is impossible to make everyone happy, a bit of self interest (or selflessness) needs to be mixed in with the mature thinking in order to not piss everyone off.

Knowing when to act foolish, and when not to act foolish.

My idea of maturity is seeing and knowing enough to have a solid perspective of where one currently stands.

In my case, I once held a job that wasn't particularly glorious by any stretch of the imagination, but it paid way above market wage for what I was doing. The organization got progressively worse and eventually I just said fuck it, stepped down, and took my savings to travel. The travel was great but the next two years were just a miserable cesspit of nothing working out. Eventually I landed a job at the same shitty organization, different department, pay slightly better and still above market wage for what I was doing.

I swore bloody oaths to never return when it was the only job I ever held. Still not glorious, still a very screwed up corporate dynamic, but I'm just glad to be back where I started. Perspective.

I've only started considering myself mature 4 weeks ago, and I'll be turning 30 this year....

maturity is the ability to keep in context, stay cool under pressure, and stay level headed no matter what's thrown at you. It's the ability to tell a that's-what-she-said joke but know when you've gone too far. It's the ability to tell a nazi joke while managing to not offend anyone. It's the ability to realize when your opinion is not wanted or needed and when you're in the right for telling someone off. Age has nothing to do with maturity, and neither does social status. It's all about personality.

Hmm... that was surprisingly deeper than I meant it to be. I must fix this

MATURISM IS BEEING L33T AT UR GAME.

That's better.

aba1:
I find maturity to be the point in which you stop looking at how things affect you and instead how they effect everyone.

Ooh, succinct and accurate. You've nailed it.

There are lots of different culturally-dependent behaviors that mark maturity in different societies, but basically it all comes down to aba1's post.

aba1:
I find maturity to be the point in which you stop looking at how things affect you and instead how they effect everyone.

Come now, that's dangerously close to calling Republicans immature. :p

OT: For me, maturity involves some level of self-awareness and the ability to deal with the reasonable criticism of others.

Maturity is how others perceive and judge your actions.

Dropping recklessness and impulses for more responsible matters. Not getting drunk the night before work/school. Driving in accordance to road rules rather than doing 30 Ks over the speed limit. Not getting McDonald's that one day in favor of having a little extra cash for bills or rent.

Just things like that.

aba1:
I find maturity to be the point in which you stop looking at how things affect you and instead how they effect everyone.

More or less yeah.

I was going to say "when you stop relying on other people, and other people rely on you", but your version is better.

Looking at what is best for everyone involved rather than you personally, and not being petty/reckless, etc. Actually, this is a harder question than I thought. Doing what needs to be done to resolve the situation when the situation requires resolution? I don't know. It's not just being serious/risk-averse. Acting towards the best and safest outcome for everyone?

Most of the things people mentioned are aspects of it, but people can be stoic and unselfish for rather childish reasons.

If I appear to not care, but it's because I don't want to make myself vulnerable to others, it doesn't mean I'm mature. If I know a lot about the world, but only so that I can one up people in a conversation, i doesn't make me mature. If I don't laugh at dirty jokes, but only because I don't want to be frowned at by an authority figure, it doesn't mean I'm mature. If I hold a position of authority, but use it to impose petty whims on people, it doesn't mean I'm mature. If I appear selfless, but it's only because I desire the praise such people have been given, it doesn't mean I'm mature.

Mature is being able to ask "Will this matter in a week? A month? A year? A decade? A century?" and come up with an honest answer. Mature is understanding what makes something petty to a degree that it can be intuitively viscerally contrasted with one's emotions and reasoning. In a word, maturity is about perspective.

Maturity, like most things, is fully affected by perception. It is a trait that is assigned to people by others, but is shaped usually by a small aspect of their life.
For example, some people would call me mature because I have high level views on global affairs, or because I have a large ammount of emotional intelligence when talking to people face-to-face! On the swich side, however, other people who see me very drunk the night before work, or see me fluster and fold in on myself at the slightest mention of sex, may accise me of being immature...

So which is correct? Well, both and neither! Maturity is referring to your actions individually and is a comparitive quantity based on the accusor's own actions or the perceived national average!

No one can be mature all the time. For every situation, there is a mature & immature response.
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*Keeps emotions in check. (Failure = Guys who get into public fights of any kind, grown women who cry for any reason other than trauma or major loss).

*Does not use tantrums to try to sway opinions, does not try to destroy something many people love because they personally dislike it, avoids scapegoating or hating on things because it's trendy. (Failure = Strict parents, politicians).

*Puts health before pleasure or reputation. (I love CultMoo & they seem like nice guys, but they're both going to die of liver failure at an early age between the beer & hot peppers).

*No longer remembers what it was like to be young & is therefor unable to sympathize, empathize, or compromise with their children. (Strict parents have basically reverted back to the little sociopaths they were as babies).

*Has a job, hates it, but continues to work there instead of finding something fresh the minute tedium kicks in. (Failure = Me).

*Is in financial debt & knows the value of a dollar. (Failure = Shopaholics who have tons of credit cards).

*Has given up on things like spite & vengeance. (Unless it's being dished out legally in court).

*Capability of being completely responsible longterm for another life. (Parents, pet owners, caretakers).

*Doesn't write or draw copyright infringing fanfiction or fanart porn & post it on the net for all to see & never be able to unsee, especially if it promotes taboo subjects like bestiality & paedophilia. (Failure = Half of Deviantart users, mangakas, hentai game developers, Furries).

*Doesn't troll forums or chats. (Games should honestly just disable chat for anyone under 18).

*In reviews, leaves constructive criticism with proper spelling & grammar instead of "this sucks." (Failure = 90% of Blackberry Playbook app users, Youtube & Cracked commenters).

*Has realistic expectations about things. (Failure = People who leave negative reviews on freeware apps, couples with low budgets who expect realtors to find fully furnished homes with all their must-haves & no renovations).

*Swears naturally, but doesn't go out of the way to abuse swearing like it's going out of style.

*Puts needs over wants. (Failure = Hoarders).

*Doesn't have a maxed out character who hangs around low level areas to kill noobs & alts, doesn't stubbornly cling to a game & declare any remotely similar game as inferior, can handle criticism of favorite games without flying off the handle & going into an endless debate.

*Posts comments that are on-topic, does not go out of way to incite arguments. (Failure = Youtube commenters).

*Knows that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. (Failure = People who contact support/customer service barking demands instead of making polite suggestions).

*Does fact-checking instead of immediately believing something they read or heard & spreading it.

Naw, you guys are making it way too complicated. Maturity can be summed up as follows:

The ability to study any given problem or scenario with objectivity and come to the best conclusion in a calm and collected manner. And if that conclusion requires action on the part of the person in question, they must be willing to follow through with it.

To me it's pretty much acting like an adult? That mean being non childish about things and having a respectful/ calm or collective approach to things and to follow it through like an adult would do (I mean a child may avoid it or try to get out of it).

It means being able to enjoy life, including the things you liked from your childhood and still be adult enough to work, pay bills etc.

Taking responsibility for your decisions and following them through no matter the consequences, and supporting others that you care about if they need a helping hand. Also, being able to tackle problems seriously and get something done without being asked.

Not being an obnoxious dick...

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