Stupidist things youve heard people say

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RedDeadFred:

Res Plus:

My (immature) mate was banging on about a porn film called "Nailin' Palin",

What's so immature about quoting Jon Stewart? He didn't like the vice-presidential debate so he thought it would be more interesting if they competed in porn movie names. He called them Nailin' Palin and ridin' Biden.

Out of my depth here, no idea who Jon Stewart is... nor the tone of your post... I am going for jocular... my favourite porn movie name is "shavin' Ryan's privates". lol?

Res Plus:

RedDeadFred:

Res Plus:

My (immature) mate was banging on about a porn film called "Nailin' Palin",

What's so immature about quoting Jon Stewart? He didn't like the vice-presidential debate so he thought it would be more interesting if they competed in porn movie names. He called them Nailin' Palin and ridin' Biden.

Out of my depth here, no idea who Jon Stewart is... nor the tone of your post... I am going for jocular... my favourite porn movie name is "shavin' Ryan's privates". lol?

He's a comedy central news guy. Same with Stephen Colbert. They essentially look at real news stories and make fun of them. They also make a lot of japes at republicans.

RedDeadFred:

Res Plus:

RedDeadFred:

What's so immature about quoting Jon Stewart? He didn't like the vice-presidential debate so he thought it would be more interesting if they competed in porn movie names. He called them Nailin' Palin and ridin' Biden.

Out of my depth here, no idea who Jon Stewart is... nor the tone of your post... I am going for jocular... my favourite porn movie name is "shavin' Ryan's privates". lol?

He's a comedy central news guy. Same with Stephen Colbert. They essentially look at real news stories and make fun of them. They also make a lot of japes at republicans.

Oh we have that, it's called have I Got News for You all though that is pretty non-partisan. We also have Radio 4, which is great but the comedy has a wild left wing bias. All good stuff though. Interesting, nice one for the reply.

Arrogancy:
"What the fuck's a politician?"
-A former friend of mine, age 16

Our avatars . . . there can be only one. We must do battle. Feeling lucky?

OT: "Reading is retarded."

I hear this one a lot from people in school, and I find it baffling, especially considering that so many of them are fans of the Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter movies. And they always seem to use the word "retarded" to describe it, never the word "dumb" or "stupid". I don't see why so many people in my class hate reading so much, but they certainly love to make sure that people know it.

"Who cares about spelling?"

This one came from a girl who's part of the group English project was full to the brim with spelling errors. It took a surprisingly long while to convince her that the ENGLISH TEACHER might care about the spelling errors.

"But how do you know when the water's boiled?"

Asks my 21 year old sister. Oh boy, have fun going out into the wide world!

Rose and Thorn:
Bullies saying bully things. Nothing is more stupid to me than when a person puts another person down for no reason. Bullies in highschool are among the the stupidest people I have ever encountered, the things they say make me laugh at them. A hate filled, laugh of menace.

DoPo:
I'll paraphrase it: "If we move the PC to the next room, would we still have all our files on it?" - this might have been the stupidest question I've been asked.

Haha, thanks for that one. Made me laugh!

Yes bullies saying stupid stuff. One said to me by a bully before a small fight and apparently trying to slag off how i look was this... "You may be a picture, but I am a portrait"

I have to admit, bursting out laughing in her face to that was probably no the best reaction it definitely got me into a fight

Aaron Sylvester:
There are a number of people out there who firmly believe that the human eye cannot tell the difference between 30 fps, 60 fps or 120 fps (fps = frames per second or framerate) when it comes to watching videos or even playing videogames.

So I'll still keep this "30 fps myth" at the back of my mind as one of the stupidest things people can say, and one of the stupidest arguments one can make. Having used a 120hz monitor over the past year, the difference is so mind-blowingly obvious it's not even funny :P

Very true. It still boggles my mind that people genuinely claim they see no difference at all between 30, 60, and 120 frames.

Boggles.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

However, research has been done (some of it by LucasArts, of all places) that shows the human eye, or rather brain, can not, except in rare occasions, tell the difference between framerates of 120~140 and onward.

I suppose, at that rate, the brain itself can not "refresh" it's image recognition fast enough to keep up.

Shax:

OT: "Reading is retarded."

I hear this one a lot from people in school, and I find it baffling, especially considering that so many of them are fans of the Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter movies. And they always seem to use the word "retarded" to describe it, never the word "dumb" or "stupid". I don't see why so many people in my class hate reading so much, but they certainly love to make sure that people know it.

The "reading is retarded" bit is, more often than not, made ironically hilarious by the fact that the same people who make the remark are often fans of "texting".

I've audibly laughed at someone when I noticed they said something similar via text message on Facebook.

The fact that they didn't get the irony made it even more delicious.

"Praise Jesus", "Jesus Saves", and "It's the will of God" All funny & equally dumb.

Well my friend to this day insists that you can freeze fire, as in freeze a flame in a block of ice. Also when people try to say that the second amendment has any context in the modern USA.

My Dad is well known for his dumb questions. The type you could easily answer yourself if you sat down and applied common sense for 2 seconds, so telling him about anything can lead to many dumb follow up questions. But that has to do with spontanity, certainly not with stupidity.

But since I don't remember the good ones well enough, here's someone else:

"Is it true they abolished hell? Am I glad about that"
Yes, that was earnest. She's crazy naive, it's like talking to a small child. Here's the thing: She's not even christian. She's living in a country where religious people are a minority, and christians are the majority of that minority. She couldn't name 4 of the 10 committments and isn't a registered member of church.
Even the most faithful people I met don't believe in a firey hell or anything anymore. Apparently, the pope said something about abolishing limbo, since hell was never mentioned in the bible in the first place (no idea if it's true, I don't care about horribly written fantasy books and their fanclubs...). But if you have no bonds to christianity whatsoever, live in a strongly atheistic country and don't understand enough to distinguish limbo from hell, how can you believe in it?

And to bash religious nutjobs some more: They were on the street with signs that said what kind of stuff gets you into this hell... wheter abolished or not. Homosexuality among it. So a lesbian he harshly attacked tried to make a point how love isn't controlled by gender. Him: "But it can't be that a man would take an animal to..."
Pretty sure the debate was about homosexuality two seconds ago... where did that come from?
"But it's exactly the same thing!"
This is why people walk away from you.

"Do you think there's a mouse in my shoe?" was also kind of stupid. "It's your shoe, man, I don't know. You've been here for one hour, we don't have mouses here, and you've been in a train for the past 3 hours. I think you would have noticed that during the past 4 hou...

wat. What? WHAT? It's even alive???"
Yes, that happened. This guy is special... says plenty of stupid things. He's an intern (unpayed) who's travelling 3 hours to us and 3 hours back every day, and never gets anything to do, because... he can barely fetch two different people their coffee. We don't really know why he's here.
True conversation:
Me: "What did you do before?"
Him: "I worked at a bakery"
Me: "What did you like about that?"
Him: "... I dunno."
Me: "... what made you quit? Getting up so early?"
Him: "Na, liked that."
Me: "Then... why aren't you working there anymore?"
Him: ".... .... ... I didn't like it there."

"Only fictional zombies eat flesh. REAL zombies have been shown to only go for the brain." -acquaintance

What exactly is a "real" zombie?

saoirse13:

Yes bullies saying stupid stuff. One said to me by a bully before a small fight and apparently trying to slag off how i look was this... "You may be a picture, but I am a portrait"

I have to admit, bursting out laughing in her face to that was probably no the best reaction it definitely got me into a fight

That sounds like a reverse chat-up line.

Only way I could think of deflecting that would just be being completely obtuse.

"I am a lamp, but you are seeds!"

oneeyemug:

What exactly is a "real" zombie?

People who read Twilight.

OT: This Bieber quote:

Seeing as no one has posted the video in question yet.

"If we evolved from monkeys the why aren't monkeys evolving into humans anymore?" It was even more sad when i realised he actualy tought he was making a valid point against me...

My favourite;

Vaccinations cause Autism.

Abomination:

Gabanuka:

Beautiful End:
snip

Wait. You guys dont add tax to the shown price?

Why the hell not?

Because 'murica, apparently.

Because lying to the consumer seems to be a national pastime.

Because they need an excuse to keep the penny in circulation because Abe Lincoln was the best president everrrrrrr!!!!111

Because brands standardize their prices, different states have different sales taxes, and the caveat "plus tax" is usually printed.

SeeIn2D:
Well my friend to this day insists that you can freeze fire, as in freeze a flame in a block of ice. Also when people try to say that the second amendment has any context in the modern USA.

Be prepared for highly intelligent people to explain why you're wrong, so you can have fun completely discounting them simply because they must be right-wing.

No, I don't mean freezing fire.

I'd start, but I'm about to fall asleep on my keyboard.

"Why would you die if your heart stopped beating?" A girl in my year 12 psychology class.
"Why would you buy an iPad? I'd never use one." My friend. Yes, I know YOU would never use one, but I am not you. Hell, I'm using mine right now. He does this a lot though. He can't seem to understand that other people lead different lifestyles and have different needs to him. Never met a person lacking as much empathy as he does.

EDIT - Same friend. We were talking about why Australia needed an R rating for games. His speech first.
"None of the games I want get banned, so who cares?"
"I do. I want to see everything available so as to maximise our freedom when it comes to entertainment."
"Our freedom isn't limited."
"Yes, it is. Can you buy Mortal Kombat 9?"
"Why would I want to?"
"Irrelevant. Can you?"
"But I don't want to."
"That's not what I'm asking. Can you buy it, not do you want to."
"I don't want it though."
That went on for about 15 minutes. I seriously think he got knocked in the head somewhere down the line.

Hrm... "Games don't need pause buttons", "fun is limited to light-hearted humour", "what is this purple person doing in my serious cutscene?" the list could go on forever. I do realize these all relate to video games. Hmm.. I know!

"Let's change our logo from Sci-Fi to Syfy, and this will tell people we are more than just a channel devoted to science fiction, that's why we have wrestling and reality TV." That's kind of like how Cartoon Network has started introducing live action shows, totally undermining the concept of the channel as a whole. Or how History Channel and Animal Planet has started putting in reality TV shows.

"I have proof that multi-purpose vaccinations don't cause autism, peanut/milk allergies, and other issues that have been seemingly on the climb the last 10+ years." That one always makes me laugh. It may well be a case of correlation does not mean causation, but I haven't seen a huge amount of proof in either direction and whelp.. Occam's Razor.

"What's the worst that could happen?" or "It couldn't possibly get worse" are pretty high up there, because the shit always ends up hitting the fan afterwards.

I dunno.. I hear people say stupid things all the time, it's hard to focus on just one.

I'm sitting on the couch playing Legend of Mana by Squaresoft. Then the sister of my next door neighbor comes up to me and says:

"I like Jak and Daxter better because it's anime."

There was also a moment where I was with a group of friends trying to solve a physics problem involving a falling meter stick that was tipping over from its edge. And then we're trying to calculate its moment of inertia and my buddy cries out,

"Wait! They didn't tell us the length of the meter stick!"

In all seriousness he was one of my best friends during my undergraduate career.

When watching a horror film and a character gets their head cut off.
Friend: "is he dead?"

A day in which stupidity apparently was on a roll was 2 summers ago back home. My friend's girlfriend wanted to move to another beach because there were rocks in the sea.

After moving to another beach, another friend's girlfriend wanted to move to another beach cause small fish were biting her while she was standing still.

And all this in a Greek beach, mind you.

Take it away, Doug.

McMullen:
We had one of these threads just a few weeks ago I think.

but if we had resurected that thread people would complain about that

OT. my best friend is convinced that if you instantly traveled to Australia, because their 8-10 hours ahead of us (we are in UK) that would be time travel and you would have gone 8-10 hours in the future. while he is a good friend he really is an idiot at times

one other thing, i saw on face book. "if theres no oxygen in space, how does the sun burn? yet another thing science cant explain and thats why the bible is true!" my faith in humanity died when i read that

edit

one more thing i just remembered. and while i cant remember what my friend sair it provoked me to say this in return "Cara thats not Iraq... thats greenland" thats right she thought that large island in the north atlantic ocean near canada was Iraq

http://www.fstdt.com/

Take your pick. I have to assign a new champion almost weekly after finding that website.

I had a customer who I removed malware from his computer. When he picked it up he asked if the "virus could get back on his computer from the wires in the wall".

He thought the malware was hanging out in cables in his house, like a real virus on a household surface.

Unfortunately, one of my siblings is prone to speaking whatever little nonsense is astonishingly still cooped up in their fleeting brain.

It's difficult to tell if they are truly struggling to process a sliver of rational thought/reasoning or if they are doing their best to dumb down their own intelligence.

GunsmithKitten:
http://www.fstdt.com/

Take your pick. I have to assign a new champion almost weekly after finding that website.

I sincerely hope these people are trolling. It's kind of a scary thought that some of these are actually out in the world otherwise.

Got to love the replies to them though.

GunsmithKitten:
http://www.fstdt.com/

Take your pick. I have to assign a new champion almost weekly after finding that website.

Yes, yes, yes. It's so brilliant. Somebody should start an FSTDT appreciation group on here sometime.

Legion:

GunsmithKitten:
http://www.fstdt.com/

Take your pick. I have to assign a new champion almost weekly after finding that website.

I sincerely hope these people are trolling. It's kind of a scary thought that some of these are actually out in the world otherwise.

Some of them undoubtedly are, but most probably aren't.

Gabanuka:

Beautiful End:
snip

Wait. You guys dont add tax to the shown price?

Why the hell not?

In England, the price on display includes the tax.

MIND BLOWN

I once read someone's forum post going on about how they would illegalize marriage, if they could. Like, anyone caught enacting some sort of marriage ceremony would be thrown in prison.

Some people just have to take everything to its furthest extreme. Even societal subversiveness. And it's enough to make you bang your head against a wall.

While in History, a girl in my class said, "Is that Hitler?"
Out of context, it may not seem so bad, but this is the image we were looking at.

When my teacher sent me out of the class in school for telling her Egypt was a part of Africa and she refused to accept it.

When the same teacher sent me out for informing her that Japan isn't a third world country where people walk around in robes, funny hats and live in bamboo housing.

I wonder where they got some of my teachers in my school :S

I have two - both things I overheard girls from the school that neighboured my old school saying:

'FML MY LIFE' and 'CoD of Duty'

Wut is this I don't even...

Earlier, one of my flatmates asked 'What's Cowboys and Aliens about?'. Much giggling was had.

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