Stupidist things youve heard people say

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Can you see earth from the Moon?

"who is the government and why does he make all the laws?"
"Did we land on the moon? When did we do that?"
"Your veins carry water and that's why they are blue"

Subscriptism:

Eddie the head:
Just about any "Theory" (notice the quotes) people come up with on the fly. You know like "here is my theory if you like rap your selfish because most rap songs are selfish." Umm no. At best its a hypothesis, most likely it's a wild guess.

Don't try to apply the scientific definition of theory to the everyday world. You just need to slap anyone who says "just a theory".

Well there is that but I am more pissed that half the time the "Theory" has a lack of any logic. A shit load of fallacies, and is really just a way to help people confirm there biases. Because if you call it a Theory you are somehow justified in making shit up. I mean the example I gave about Rap is anyone going to argue that most rap songs are about the person singing them? Dose that make the person selfish? No, but it's a way to confirm a bias to make yourself feel better about not likening it. That's mostly what I get pissed off about.

Just think of anything along the lines of "video game cause violent behavior." I am less pissed that they call it a theory and more pissed that they don't think about it.

Sirpigglesworth:
"who is the government and why does he make all the laws?"
"Did we land on the moon? When did we do that?"
"Your veins carry water and that's why they are blue"

That last one was pretty funny.

Not the worst, but first that came to mind.

Me: Yeah my parents are traveling to Europe.
Him: Why?
Me: Well, half of my family lives in England.
Him: Oh, are they going there afterwards?
Me: ...Wait what?

Mikejames:
Not the worst, but first that came to mind.

Me: Yeah my parents are traveling to Europe.
Him: Why?
Me: Well, half of my family lives in England.
Him: Oh, are they going there afterwards?
Me: ...Wait what?

In fairness, many people do make a distinction between mainland Europe and England. He probably wasn't, but it's easier to see him making that mistake with England than, say, Germany.

Frodowise:
In fairness, many people do make a distinction between mainland Europe and England. He probably wasn't, but it's easier to see him making that mistake with England than, say, Germany.

Fair enough. I believe he was placing it a bit further off though.

i think the worst was my brother a few weeks back, keep in mind he's nearly 21 and he asked " when it rains during the summer do sheep shrink? because wool does when its heated"

Dangit2019:
One of my classmates said that lightning came from the ground, and was adamant about it even after being shown a video of it striking from the sky.

Um, it does come from the ground, it appears as though it comes from the sky, but that's not the case. Thought that was basic physics?

Sudden Thunder:
Two things my (28 yr old) girlfriend said. "do calves come out of a cows ass? And "do dogs nipples only appear when pregnant?" Otherwise shes a genius.

Are you sure about that one?? My ex complained (after paying 150 dollars for the collectors edition nonetheless) about not being able to play Skyrim on her Mac. She bought the 360 version to boot.

'Evolution is ONLY a theory'.

Well God exists because the bible says he does and the bible is always true because it is the world of god

Anything I've ever heard any of the feminists I know say.

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? So, so, so stupid.

OK this one was a while back in secondary school "is the moon bigger than the sun?" Classic.

Also; upon hearing that a disease was threatening amphibians world-wide a 20 year-old friend piped up with "Oh good, I hate spiders"

Malkav:
we don't have mouses here

We have a new one straight from the thread - its MICE man, not 'mouses', frickin' genius.

I'm not even sure I can name the amount of stupid things I heard in politics lectures at university. Not even in a 'my politics is right yours is wrong' kind of way. I seriously had one lecture where someone went on an hours rant about how Israel attacked Haiti using an earthquake machine and another one where someone advocated that magnetic bracelets can cure cancer. I'd chalk them down to conspiracy nuts and fruitcakes but these were (supposedly) educated people. That pretty much taught me there's a big difference between intelligence and sanity.

I was once spotted reading a book recreationally before class in 11th grade (17 or 18 years old). This prompted one of my arriving classmates to ask "What, are you gay or something?". What.

"The sun is not a star, its a sun!"

"Video games caused violence throughout human history"

"Gay has to be a genetic, why do you think there are so many now?" (This one always makes me laugh when I type it)

Story Time. A good friend of mine wanted to come to my house and play Fallout New Vegas. These are the events that transpired:
She: "Hey come here! The game is lagging like crazy, is your internet working?"
My inner thoughts: *facepalm*
Me: "No this game is just really buggy, sometimes it runs on 5 FPS and it can be a real turn off."
She: "But it is an FPS?!"
*facedesk*

She is such a sweet girl, one day she'll learn how to video games...

Xcell935:

Story Time. A good friend of mine wanted to come to my house and play Fallout New Vegas. These are the events that transpired:
She: "Hey come here! The game is lagging like crazy, is your internet working?"
My inner thoughts: *facepalm*
Me: "No this game is just really buggy, sometimes it runs on 5 FPS and it can be a real turn off."
She: "But it is an FPS?!"
*facedesk*

She is such a sweet girl, one day she'll learn how to video games...

In her defence, not knowing that FPS can mean two entirely different things is not really stupidity.

I once convinced a friend mice were a fictional creature, invented by the creators of Tom and Jerry to give Tom a good antagonist. They needed a small rat like creature but rats are too ugly and disgusting. So they imagined a smaller cuter rat called a mouse. This guy was 19. And i convinced him they totally faked mice. In all fairness i had another friend backing me up but still. Seriously?

Arfonious:

Xcell935:

Story Time. A good friend of mine wanted to come to my house and play Fallout New Vegas. These are the events that transpired:
She: "Hey come here! The game is lagging like crazy, is your internet working?"
My inner thoughts: *facepalm*
Me: "No this game is just really buggy, sometimes it runs on 5 FPS and it can be a real turn off."
She: "But it is an FPS?!"
*facedesk*

She is such a sweet girl, one day she'll learn how to video games...

In her defence, not knowing that FPS can mean two entirely different things is not really stupidity.

True that, but it was the only personal stupid story I had on my mind, plus no one takes these threads seriously. Right?... RIGHT?...

Its all good, told her what FPS also meant and now she gets the FPS New Vegas jokes I make.

Two from my sister

(When she saw an earth mover in Nevada) "Are they building desert?"
"Is Donny Osmand a dragon?"

I had a customer return a high-priced DVD player that she couldn't make work. My guess, she couldn't hook the red/white/yellow plugs on the cable to the red/white/yellow jacks on both the TV and DVD player, since she had sound but no video...

He was NOT happy, even when I told him I spent 45 minutes trying to convince her she had installed it wrong.

Gabanuka:

Beautiful End:
snip

Wait. You guys dont add tax to the shown price?

Why the hell not?

As has already been said, some states don't charge sales tax, and instead make up for the income a higher property tax. Oregon is great that way.

My fiance and I were visiting my family for Christmas when he and my grandmother started talking about cooking and what size pan they liked to use. He likes to use a 10-inch skillet to cook in when all of the sudden my cousin asked how big a 10-inch skillet was. We all kind of stopped what we were doing and stared at him when I started to laugh. It was such a dunderheaded thing for him to do but I told him that 10-inches was the size of the pan and that he already answered the question himself. Now my cousin is only 14 and has ADHD, so I guess it's par on course for him lol.

I think I may have mentioned this before, but I'll say it again anyway. This wasn't me personally that heard this, but my father on the bus home from work one day:

"You're so gay, you don't know what cum is."

Admittedly, this was some 12yo chav, but still.

Someone posted something on Facebook about the Sandy Hook shooting and how people die every day, then some guy commented back saying something, think about how it was that they were children that died. I replied saying that starving children in Africa die every day and nobody cares about that. That guy replied back saying "but did those kids in Africa die in a school?". Well, he got me there.

Where to start:

"WAIT! Polar Bears live in CANADA! OH MY GOD ARE THEY NEAR HERE! OMG I DONT WANT TO BE EATEN!"
"WAIT! THE SUN IS GOING TO EXPLODE! WE HAVE TO GET AWAY THEN!"
"What do you mean we dont have a President, I WANT A PRESIDENT!"

All from the same girl.
From the Social studies, science, and global politics course I took.

I almost had a brain aneurysm from all the stupid.
I shit you not.

My buddies girlfriend said these gems:

"Colleges are not in it for the money, they are ONLY there for the education!"

"Soccer cannot be the most popular sport in the world because I don't like it!"

lechat:
"a dead body weighs more than a live one. trust me you will believe it if you ever try and lift one"

Not quite as stupid as it sounds. Lifting someone who's dead or injured is quite a bit more difficult than someone who's alive and well. It's certainly not a weight issue but I'm assuming that he didn't really mean it literally. Still gotta wonder how he learned this...

his1nightmare:

Fuzzed:

his1nightmare:
One man once asked me: "How long does it take to upload a video on Youtube?"
Me: "This is the most stupid thing I've ever read."
He: "Why?"
Me: "This is the second most stupid thing I've ever read."

Did the man ask you or were you reading something? Not clear on this one. Or maybe the two remarks you said to the man were the stupidest things you've ever heard.

They were my reactions to his questions.

Abomination:

his1nightmare:
One man once asked me: "How long does it take to upload a video on Youtube?"
Me: "This is the most stupid thing I've ever read."
He: "Why?"
Me: "This is the second most stupid thing I've ever read."

I don't see how that is a stupid question. The answer would be "It depends on the quality and the length of the video, then factor in to it the speed of your internet connection."

The question was likely from a position of ignorance as how to computers and the internet works, not stupidity.

While you are right, ignorance at such a level, at the time of our information technology-based generation... was reason enough for me to flame. That it wasn't idiocy by definiton I won't deny.

Ah... yeah, no, no it wasn't a reason for you to flame. This 'information technology-based generation' you're talking about is merely taking it's first steps, there hasn't even been HALF a century yet since it's rising. There are plenty of people 30+ years old, some even younger, to whom the size-of-video to internet-speed ratio is just so much Chinese (assuming they're not Chinese by default). However, I do get that it can be frustrating to have to explain things like that to people.

My personal favorite was being asked, and I quote: 'What's so great about Shakespeare? What did he ever do?' And this was a 50-something year old woman, mind.

DoPo:
I'll paraphrase it: "If we move the PC to the next room, would we still have all our files on it?" - this might have been the stupidest question I've been asked. I don't think it's the actual stupidest thing, I've heard though - yeah, some people aren't that good with technology (even though these ones had a PC for more than a year...) *snip*

As Mr. Sark of Machinima once said "There are some flat-liners in this office who will SOUNDLY fuck up tech."

I don't have a relevant quote for the topic. I just love that line.

I had a girl in my 8th grade class ask how dogs were trained in foreign lands, I told her that they associate the words with actions.
She says,
"But how can they understand it, its not English?"

P_P

She thought all dogs 'spoke(?)' English
I wept for my future children that night

"Tide comes in, tide goes out. You can't explain that."
- Bill O'riley, Professional Christian

"X is as bad as Hitler." I don't care if it is a politician you don't agree with or your personal justification for it, unless the person is an actual murderous dictator who killed millions of people, all your statement just is undercut the importance of the crimes Hitler perpetrated.

Xcell935:
"The sun is not a star, its a sun!"

"Video games caused violence throughout human history"

"Gay has to be a genetic, why do you think there are so many now?" (This one always makes me laugh when I type it)

Story Time. A good friend of mine wanted to come to my house and play Fallout New Vegas. These are the events that transpired:
She: "Hey come here! The game is lagging like crazy, is your internet working?"
My inner thoughts: *facepalm*
Me: "No this game is just really buggy, sometimes it runs on 5 FPS and it can be a real turn off."
She: "But it is an FPS?!"
*facedesk*

She is such a sweet girl, one day she'll learn how to video games...

But wait wasn't it recently postulated by some scientists at the University of California that homosexuality is epigenetic? How is saying that homosexuality is genetic stupid?

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