Name a personal Epic Fail.

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Like most I've had to contend with mistakes I've made in the past.

One of the Biggest mistakes I ever made was not finishing graduate school--even though I'd taken all the classes I needed to graduate and had the necessary GPA as well. I walked away. Burned out and suffering from what years later was diagnosed as "severe clinical depression."

While it's nice to have an explanation for what was going on in my head at the time I nevertheless ended up with tens of thousands of dollars worth of student loads but no degree--and when I later found out that the credits were still good and I could go back and finish I was too busy taking care of family to devote the time to it.

Then it was too late to go back. Game over. No degree but lots of bills.

After years of struggle I'm finally getting my life turned around and am feeling positive for the first time in a long time.

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For this thread I'm looking for EPIC fails...not two bit minor fails. Here you admit to EPIC fails the memory of which makes you cringe. Was it your love life? School? Work?

What's your Epic Fail, my fellow Escapists?

P.S. Dig my new Blinking avatar. You can thank Eleuthera for making my dark avatar creepier by animating it.

P.P.S.S. They're teeth.

Well, I'm in love with someone who currently doesn't even live in the same country as me. Does that count?

Also, when I was in my second year of high school, I slipped on a patch of black ice while walking home one day. I dislocated my knee, ended up missing two weeks of school and failed a semester of Accelerated Biology that I had to make up during my senior year.

I got so angry with a ex-boyfriend I that I keyed his car. Unfortunately someone at school saw me do it and reported me. I had to apologize for what I did and pay for the damages (which took me all summer). I almost got in trouble with the police! The jerk wasn't worth the trouble.

Oops. I just miss posted. Talk about a minor fail. How embarrassing!

The Pumpkin Witch:
I got so angry with a ex-boyfriend I used to have that I keyed his car. Unfortunately someone at school saw me do it and reported me. I had to apologize for what I did and pay for the damages (which took me all summer). I almost got in trouble with the police! The jerk wasn't worth the trouble.

Should have just Pumpkined his car. Would have been easier for you I think.

OT: My epic fail was when I was about 10, and I thought I could fly.

It was a very, very, VERY, painful lesson. And expensive!

I fuck a prostitute once. Then I fucking left. And she was a dude. It was awesome.

I once passed out at a family party that was going pretty quiet when I fell asleep, but when I woke up, I found that it was the greatest one ever. My older sister got stitches (long story how), and my 9 year old cousin mouthed off at a police officer at Denny's at 3 AM.

And. I. Missed. It. All.

Shadowstar38:
I fuck a prostitute once. Then I fucking left. And she was a dude. It was awesome.

Go on....

OT: I would have to say my life in general is a pretty epic fail.

Shadowstar38:
I fuck a prostitute once. Then I fucking left. And she was a dude. It was awesome.

It was 'awesome'? Just how drunk were you when this happened?!?

The most painfull was probably as a kid, when I wanted to see if the carlighter was actually hot, so I pushed in into my thumb.

Financially I also managed to not finish my Uni education despite being really close to finishing (ending me with ~$40K in debt and without a degree)

Romantically I once managed to give a girl the wrong phonenumber, we were in a hurry (her train was coming) so I didn't get hers, but just scribbled mine down quickly. About tow weeks later (after wondering why I hadn't heard anything) I discoverd the number I gave her wasn't actually mine...

And as some of my friends would tell you my number one biggest fail was not going to see a doctor for about 8 months and ending up with stage 4 Hodgekins (Cancer).

Heh. There was that one time a mate of mine convinced me and another friend to help him with his great plan to swindle money out of the place he worked at. We had both done a couple of microdots. Trying to commit fraud while on acid rarely goes well. Still, I met some interesting people and made a contact while I was doing community service and it got me out of jury service so it wasn't a total washout.

Recently in Planetside 2 a slight misjudgement on altitude on my part while going in for a hot landing at... one of the watchtower facilities, cant remember which, got myself and 10 other people killed when my Galaxy crashlanded into the side of the landing pad rather than on top of it.

not quite an epic fail more of a brainfart

was riding a motorcycle when i was younger and needed to spit. done all the physics work in my head (wasn't exactly hard) and figured if i turned my head as i spat the spit would just harmlessly fly backwards leaving me relatively spit free
slight miscalculation i made was forgetting the fact i was wearing a helmet so i proceeded to splatter my faceguard and crash into a tree

We were cutting down a tree and it fell over and smashed my neighbor's car. It looked like a soda can somebody had stepped on.

When I was little(r), I wandered into the kitchen to ask what was for dinner. It smelled rather delicious but I could not identify the smell, so I was curious. My mother had some REO Speedwagon on a decently high volume and so I had to raise my voice to get her attention.

"Hey ma, whatcha cookin for dinner?"

"WHAT?"

*KLANG*

You see, in my hurried curiosity, I failed to notice she was holding the cast iron cooking pan in her hand. As she spun around to see what kid was yakkin' at her, she took the pan with her in her quarter turn. The result: a ringing headache lasted for several days, a slight dent in the back right side of my skull and a wonderful story about me being a dumbass.

But roast beef with garlic, butter and oregano was frickin' AWESOME!

I have some awful stories about getting drunk and doing stupid things, but not much stuff I regret.
I have a tendency to climb things when drunk, so I have fallen out of windows, jumped down flights of stairs etc and woke up with a hangover, sprained ankle, scratches and bruises and chunks of meat missing from my hand/ elbow. But I had fun...

I was only about ten at the time, and no much for thinking. I went backpacking around London with my family, but I didn't get the idea behind backpacking being 'pack as little as possible so it's light enough to carry around all day'. I thought I had to fill up the bag.

So, in the bag went two big books, an alarm clock, a dreamcatcher, a torch and beanie baby.

That was a fun, if a bit tiring, day. The look on my dad's face when we got to the hostel and I started unpacking was hilarious.

Copper Zen:
Like most I've had to contend with mistakes I've made in the past.

One of the Biggest mistakes I ever made was not finishing graduate school--even though I'd taken all the classes I needed to graduate and had the necessary GPA as well. I walked away. Burned out and suffering from what years later was diagnosed as "severe clinical depression."

While it's nice to have an explanation for what was going on in my head at the time I nevertheless ended up with tens of thousands of dollars worth of student loads but no degree--and when I later found out that the credits were still good and I could go back and finish I was too busy taking care of family to devote the time to it.

Then it was too late to go back. Game over. No degree but lots of bills.

If you finished your degree you would be calling your lack of a family your "epic fail". The "if only..." regrets we have are unbelievable stupid when you think about it.

I am where I am today because of my own failings....

...I dont know how to feel about that

Blood Brain Barrier:

If you finished your degree you would be calling your lack of a family your "epic fail". The "if only..." regrets we have are unbelievable stupid when you think about it.

Staving off the possible loss of my family is precisely why I ignored my own career. First my father required home health nursing right up until he died. Then my mother had cancer and I took care of her--pushing her to eat, drink, exercise. If I hadn't been there then there is no question on either of our minds that she would have died. There were others in the family who could have helped but they didn't realize (because they lacked my prior experience with home nursing) that you have to push invalids if they're going to recover.

No, my Fail was in completely dismissing everything else in my life while dealing with these emergencies which lasted for years. I most certainly could have made the time to attend to my finishing my degree but instead I ignored the matter entirely until it was too late.

Copper Zen:

Blood Brain Barrier:

If you finished your degree you would be calling your lack of a family your "epic fail". The "if only..." regrets we have are unbelievable stupid when you think about it.

Staving off the possible loss of my family is precisely why I ignored my own career. First my father required home health nursing right up until he died. Then my mother had cancer and I took care of her--pushing her to eat, drink, exercise. If I hadn't been there then there is no question on either of our minds that she would have died. There were others in the family who could have helped but they didn't realize (because they lacked my prior experience with home nursing) that you have to push invalids if they're going to recover.

No, my Fail was in completely dismissing everything else in my life while dealing with these emergencies which lasted for years. I most certainly could have made the time to attend to my finishing my degree but instead I ignored the matter entirely until it was too late.

If that's true, and you really are superman enough to everything at once, then you can finish your degree now. So do it, instead of posting your depressing regrets on a forum.

Here's a rather lengthy one:

I was modding Fallout 3 on my PC and was attempting to make a few large mods and a few other smaller mods work together nicely. They didn't want to.

It was only after a complete uninstall and reinstall of the game that I finally figured out what was wrong.

You see, I had downloaded the DarnifiedUI mod from a third party because, at the time, I couldn't find the original source. From that third party I also got the instructions on what to overwrite in the FALLOUT.INI file.

Shocking revelation: The third party uploader was a moron. His instructions for the .ini file were COMPLETELY WRONG.

So I went back to the original site and found the original download link at the very bottom of the forum post, in a much smaller font.

BUT WAIT, it gets better. I had already overwritten the .ini file using the wrong instructions again. So it was looking like I was going to have to uninstall and reinstall the game AGAIN. But, this was not the case...

I am paranoid almost by nature, and doubly so for computers. As any of my friends will tell you, if I try to mess around in-depth with a computer I'll likely start WWIII without even knowing what I'm doing.

This paranoia worked to my advantage as I had the astounding foresight to back up a copy of the original, unaltered .ini file elsewhere. Allowing me to just delete the altered file, replace it with a vanilla one, and subsequently alter the vanilla .ini file the correct way.

The game, mods and all, worked like a charm.

The lesson here: Read the original instructions carefully, lest you miss something important. And always take third party downloads with a grain of salt.

Erja_Perttu:
I was only about ten at the time, and no much for thinking. I went backpacking around London with my family, but I didn't get the idea behind backpacking being 'pack as little as possible so it's light enough to carry around all day'. I thought I had to fill up the bag.

So, in the bag went two big books, an alarm clock, a dreamcatcher, a torch and beanie baby.

That was a fun, if a bit tiring, day. The look on my dad's face when we got to the hostel and I started unpacking was hilarious.

When I hiked the west highland way, I managed to fill my pack with useless stuff, while forgetting seemingly everything that I actually needed. I had a book, a whole bunch of chargers (it turned out that there were no plug sockets in a valley 5 miles from the nearest town) and like 3 different towels. I also had nothing to wear at night, and only one pair of waterproof socks. Though I think it's more fun when you don't have everything. If a hike could be described as fun.

OT: Um... when on a German exchange I didn't drink any water for 2 days because my exchange family lived on nothing but fizzy water and coke, which I hated before and hated after respectively. I ended up puking everywhere, several times, and being doubled up in pain from dehydration. Oh, and did you know that Germany is hot in the summer? Well it is. So I also ended up with heatstroke and severe sunburn. Ruined what would have been a pretty nice holiday for me.
It was funny though, asking the mother for some water to put my rehydration tablets in. She immediately got a bottle of fizzy water. When I told her that I wanted tap water she stared at me like I was insane.

I broke my leg once.
By sliding into a door.
An OPEN door.
Yeah.

I've totaled two cars, and I just barely managed to keep my Driver's License. The worst part about it is that the first one was something left for me by my now-gone grandma: I destroyed what I consider to be her last gift. Still makes me sick thinking about it.

I swear that the captcha's gained sentience: it says Learn From Mistakes. How fitting.

Peetty much my attempt of a joke when my history teacher hell this photo with she was standing with a max model of ET. I try to make a witty comment saying "I thought he went home" as a joke. My friend never let up with that fail jokes of me (and one of the many reason why I never kept in touch with those jerks).

I recently sat on my thousand-dollar viola.

Yeah.

Repairs were free, because my there's a protection plan on it, but the crack when the fingerboard broke off (that was the only damage, luckily) haunts me.

I don't think I'll ever live it down. <.<

It had to be when I was picking up Black Ops II the day it came out and they were doing the whole 'whose here for *blanks?*' *insert cheers* and when they said single player, I was the only person who cheered and being a female it was also even more awkward...

But my worst had to be at a Convention and I ended up hitting on a Christ Redfield cosplayer..not knowing his girlfriend was right next to him. Really epically fail.

When I was 10, I decided not to wait for the ice on the hill to thaw out before I went sledding down it. Hit a rock at about 25 mph and shot through the air. Cracked some ribs on that one.

I also paid full price for The Force Unleashed 2 a few years back. That was a fail move, if you ask me.

I once confused Beowulf with Canterbury Tales. I think that is the definition of epic fail.

I had a party in my parent's house as a kid which caused 20k of damage, got a car stolen, and I also cheated on my girlfriend with a girl who later did stuff with my two best friends (on the same night). I have plenty of other fails worse than this example, but nothing condensed into such a spectacularly short time.

Sarah Kerrigan:
It had to be when I was picking up Black Ops II the day it came out and they were doing the whole 'whose here for *blanks?*' *insert cheers* and when they said single player, I was the only person who cheered and being a female it was also even more awkward...

That's not a fail on your part, its a fail on the gaming community in general (Or just the idiotic spunkgargleweewee fans who don't appreciated the hard work developers put into single player campaigns).

eh..on a today note..i bunny hopped my bicicle on to a frozen canal..it hurt (it was fine until i landed and the wheels went in different directions)
on a more serious note... i once got a recovering druggie back into drugs. lost touch with her since but i know her life went all sorts of fucked up since... think ill feel guilty about that one for the rest of my days

My family was out on a frozen lake in front of our cottage on New Years Eve, setting of fireworks. My dad and I were setting up the finale; one that was loaded with about fifteen big fireballs to shoot off in succession.

My dad lit the fuse, and as we retreated I accidentally knocked the firework with my boot onto the ice rink we had cleared, where everyone else was watching. When it went off everyone went running and screaming away from the shot, but the recoil had sent the firework spinning across the ice, making the next shot go in a completely different direction.

For fifteen more shots we had to stay on guard and be ready to avoid another shot in case the recoil caused it to aim a us again. Fortunately no one was hurt, and afterward we all laugh about how crazy we must have looked running back and forth on the rink.

To this day when we remember the story, I allege that Dad was the one who knocked it over.

shrekfan246:
Well, I'm in love with someone who currently doesn't even live in the same country as me. Does that count?

You've fallen for me. I knew it.

OT: Well, during a bad break up, and a rather drug addled camp out with about a hundred fifty other people, I succumbed to alcohol poisoning and nearly died.

I was given a 'Britain legal' butterfly knife for my seventeenth birthday. I did not know what made it Britain legal.

Basically, it was really stiff to open, having to be pried open with both hands and would slam shut very hard. Not at all like the easy, fluid motions regularly associated with such knives. So I googled it, and apparently brand new knives are quite stiff. The recommended solution was to apply WD40 to the hinges and open and close both sides of the knife to loosen it up.

As it turns out, 'Britain legal' means the hinges are replaced with springs. Very strong springs. Cue the run off of WD40 causing my hand to slip. Knife slams shut, very nearly taking a chunk out of my finger. And by that, I don't mean it narrowly missed. I mean it closed on my finger, cutting it to the bone and a large chunk of flesh was hanging off by a strand. It has healed, with a shiny scar, and cold weather makes it tingle very unpleasantly.

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