Poll: Which Chaos god would you serve?

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Zipa:
This thread is unclean and must be purged in the name of the Emperah of mankind!

Hey, yea, come down to the Old World and say that!

Yea, didn't think so.

Stay to your own reality, Imperium humper, we're just fine down here in Fantasy with our competent leaders and bad guys.

Being a slob ain't all that bad, I would pick Nurgle then since it's nice doing absolutely nothing at times.

MrPeanut:
Once we finish the Great Project, all you chaos scum will be stuck in warphell with your "gods".

Why would you need that? There's already a lone Grey Knight coked up heavier than Tony Montana going around going all Bane-breaking-Batman on the 40k chaos forces anyway.

GunsmithKitten:

Zipa:
This thread is unclean and must be purged in the name of the Emperah of mankind!

Hey, yea, come down to the Old World and say that!

Yea, didn't think so.

Stay to your own reality, Imperium humper, we're just fine down here in Fantasy with our competent leaders and bad guys.

Wouldn't need to, exterminatus.

image

Your move Planet.

Zipa:

Wouldn't need to, exterminatus.
Your move Planet.

Wrong reality, sunshine. GW made it clear that Fantasy and 40k are not in the same universes. Old World does not exist in 40k, nor the Imperium in Old World.

And Exterminatus this, Exterminatus that, SHIT, you Imperiums will burn down a planet just because an Inquisitor spilled his drink on the sidewalk. You really need to reign those guys in.

GunsmithKitten:

By Inquisitorial decree, all persons taking part in this discussion are sentenced to immediate execution.

Use you final moments to beg for forgiveness that will not come, for He has no mercy for those who fall.

Excomunicatae Tratoris

The Emperor Protects

Praise be to Sigmar that I do not truck in the 40k universe then. My frame of refference comes from WH Fantasy where our emporers actually fight in battles instead of sit and eat the souls of psychics while making holy poop.

Anyway, Khorne. He'd actually reward me for my anger management issues, not condemn me for it.

HERESY! HERESY I SAY!

In the Emperors name, your evil shall be purged in the holy fire of His Divine Inquisition

Besides, I bet your poop isn't holy

Well I would go for Slaanesh for the perks, but if I wanted to be on the "Winning side" it's gotta be The T man. HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. He knows the enemies plans before they do. He physically cannot lose, any lost is part of his plan to win.

Plasmadamage:

GunsmithKitten:

By Inquisitorial decree, all persons taking part in this discussion are sentenced to immediate execution.

Use you final moments to beg for forgiveness that will not come, for He has no mercy for those who fall.

Excomunicatae Tratoris

The Emperor Protects

Praise be to Sigmar that I do not truck in the 40k universe then. My frame of refference comes from WH Fantasy where our emporers actually fight in battles instead of sit and eat the souls of psychics while making holy poop.

Anyway, Khorne. He'd actually reward me for my anger management issues, not condemn me for it.

HERESY! HERESY I SAY!

In the Emperors name, your evil shall be purged in the holy fire of His Divine Inquisition

Besides, I bet your poop isn't holy

Fer crying out loud, we're a high medieval/low Renn society, man! Have you seen what our diet is?! We're lucky if our poop isn't disease laden acid! Cut us some slack! The boys at Nuln are still perfecting that whole indoor plumbing thing (when they're not trying to train pigeons to fire rows of guns...).

Slaneesh; gimme sex & drugs.

Milk for the Khorneflakes.

Seriously though, probably Tzeentch. Knowledge, magic and secrets doesn't sound that bad to me.

Papa Nurgle, Nurgle Saves!

GunsmithKitten:

Zipa:

Wouldn't need to, exterminatus.
Your move Planet.

Wrong reality, sunshine. GW made it clear that Fantasy and 40k are not in the same universes. Old World does not exist in 40k, nor the Imperium in Old World.

And Exterminatus this, Exterminatus that, SHIT, you Imperiums will burn down a planet just because an Inquisitor spilled his drink on the sidewalk. You really need to reign those guys in.

I'm aware though it would be kinda cool for the Fantasy world to be in the eye of terror since that place is screwed up enough for it to be possible.

And unfortunately the inquisition being what it is is neigh impossible to rein in since they have basically supreme authority on pretty much anything including the SPESS MEHREENS.

Zipa:

GunsmithKitten:

Zipa:

Wouldn't need to, exterminatus.
Your move Planet.

Wrong reality, sunshine. GW made it clear that Fantasy and 40k are not in the same universes. Old World does not exist in 40k, nor the Imperium in Old World.

And Exterminatus this, Exterminatus that, SHIT, you Imperiums will burn down a planet just because an Inquisitor spilled his drink on the sidewalk. You really need to reign those guys in.

I'm aware though it would be kinda cool for the Fantasy world to be in the eye of terror since that place is screwed up enough for it to be possible.

And unfortunately the inquisition being what it is is neigh impossible to rein in since they have basically supreme authority on pretty much anything including the SPESS MEHREENS.

Not so sure about their pull on the Astartes, though. From my reading, the various Astartes chapters and their sub-cultures get away with a lot of grotesque shit and basically DARE the Inquisitors to say dick about it. The Blood Angels and their bloodletting rites being a big example.

I'm a mix of Khorne and Slaneesh, so basically I have a sense of honor and love war but I'll also enjoy some cocaine before heading to battle blasting "The Trooper" by Iron Maiden.

Nurgle always sounds appealing because he's so jolly and caring, but I haaaaaaaate being sick.
So, seeing how I'm already a big cauldron of simmering rage beneath a thin veneer of civility, my guess is that the Blood God fits the bill for me. Give me a big fuck-off chainsword and I'll be all like "MyroflknifegoessliceslicesliceLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL"

bartholen:
This popped up on my mind today. Of the 4 Warhammer great Chaos gods, Nurgle, Slaanesh, Khorne and Tzeentch, which one would you serve? Here's what each one would offer:

Khorne: ultimate physical prowess and power, unmatched authority and skill at arms.

Tzeentch: limitless knowledge of all things and the ability to bend others to your will.

Nurgle: immortality and practical invulnerability, a life free of disease or sickness, eternal, pleasing comfort.

Slaanesh: a life of limitless pleasure and beauty.

I'd probably go with Tzeentch, since knowledge is power.

There is only one correct answer to this question:

image

bartholen:

Nurgle: a life free of disease or sickness, eternal, pleasing comfort.

Actually the followers of Nurgle are subject to Every disease, its just there in so much pain they are numbed to it.
id still follow Grandfather Nurgle though, hes the only chaos god who isnt a massive dick to his followers.

Slaanesh followers get all the bitches. And the dude bitches. And the hermaphodite bitches. And the genderless bitches. We just get everything.


Give yourself over to absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever
Can't you just see it. Whoa ho ho!
Don't dream it, be it...
Don't dream it, be it...

GunsmithKitten:

Zipa:

Wouldn't need to, exterminatus.
Your move Planet.

Wrong reality, sunshine. GW made it clear that Fantasy and 40k are not in the same universes. Old World does not exist in 40k, nor the Imperium in Old World.

And Exterminatus this, Exterminatus that, SHIT, you Imperiums will burn down a planet just because an Inquisitor spilled his drink on the sidewalk. You really need to reign those guys in.

Uhhh....no.

Don't get me wrong, they TRIED to separate Fantasy from 40k, but they failed.

They continue to publish fluff that either places the Fantasy world as a planet hidden by the Old Ones in the 40k galaxy, or else they are in alternate realities that are connected via the Warp.

The Old Ones, for example, are still described as the same Old Ones responsible for most of the races in 40k, even going so far as describing them arriving and leaving via space ships.

There's a lone Grey Knight and his jetbike trapped in the Fantasy world.

People in the Fantasy world have at the very least SEEN Defilers, Chaos Marines, Lucius The Eternal, etc etc.

Glory to the plague father!

Plasmadamage:
By Inquisitorial decree, all persons taking part in this discussion are sentenced to immediate execution.

Use you final moments to beg for forgiveness that will not come, for He has no mercy for those who fall.

Excomunicatae Tratoris

The Emperor Protects

opiwankenobi:
image

All hail the Omnissiah!!! PURGE THE HERETICS!!! CLEANSE THIS THREAD IN HOLY FIRE!!!

Zipa:
image

None of those. Praise Zamorak!!

Salamander for the win!

EscapeGoat:
None of the above. You know why? Because none of them are truly chaotic. They all act to a predefined set of ideals and expected mannerisms. People expect Khorne to shed blood, Nurgle to spread disease, Tzeentch to cause mutations and Slaanesh to enthrall and seduce. That isn't chaos. That's order.

I follow the true God of Chaos. You may not know his name, but he was always there, and always shall be.

He is Malal. He is Malice. He is Anarchy. To follow Malal is to destroy order, even if that means turning on yourself for falling into a routine. He is the embodiment of paradox and destruction. He is True Chaos.

He is the God who causes fear in the hearts and souls of the lesser Chaos Gods. He is the Outcast God, who laughs upon the fringes of space. He is Chaos, and we are the Sons of Malice.

"...and he that went before now came last, and that which was white and black and all direction was thrown against itself. Grown mightily indignant at the words of the Gods, Malal did turn his heart against them and flee into the chambers of space . . . And no man looked to Malal then, save those that serve that which they hate, who smile upon their misfortune, and who bear no love save for the damned. At such times as a warrior's heart turns to Malal, all Gods of Chaos grow fearful, and the laughter of the Outcast God fills the tomb of space . . ."

image

God I love Malal. WHY DID YOU ALL BUT RETCON HIM GW, WHYYYYY?

thaluikhain:
Malal. Just cause I wanted to spoil your poll.

Actually, Malal likes mucking things up for the other Chaos Gods, so that fits perfectly.

Cap: vote pancakes

No, I'm voting for Malal.

You see, you're on the right page.

damn :/ if i'd know about him i'd have voted for him instead of Khrone :/
Malal sounds like more fun

Now, I'm seeing a lot of support for the other chaos gods, and I respect that. Nurgle's a big ol' friendly fella who gives some pretty good buffs (all that rotting flesh makes you practically invincible - plus you can never get sick again!); Tzeentch gives up all that delightful knowledge, but considering how JUST AS PLANNED he is and the insanity, it's hard to say if it's a good trade off. Slaanesh is, of course, going to give you lots of pleasure - but say goodbye to anything vanilla, as only the most maddening things will make you happy after awhile.

No, there's only one Chaos god for me. The most cheerful, energetic and enthusiastic god in the whole Chaos pantheon. Khorne.

And, with a war cry like this:

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! LET THE GALAXY BURN!!!!

It's just too damn hard to resist.

I shall serve the Lord of Change and his magnificent designs!

What I found really intriguing about Tzeentch was how it had power over almost all happenings in the universe, from the smallest plots and events to the most awesome and impacting happenings. It has an agenda, while mysterious, might not necessarily be of ill-intent. It wants to keep things from stagnating, to ensure that all that is is kept changing so that diversity might be maintained. Which could be argued for being a good cause.

Tzeentch plans all...

More heretics for this Commissar's bolter to cut down.

Also, wheres the option for Chaos undivided? Some wish to serve all you know. Think of Cultist Chan!

OP you have framed the results by giving bad descriptions of the chaos gods!. They make Tzeentch sound too appealing and powerful compared to the others which is not true! Also, Slaneesh is the god of pain, not just pleasure. Still cool poll but don't frame it BRO

Why limit yourself to made-up Warhammer deities? Why not give Lovecraft some love? Why not accept that our 'real' Gods got us into enough trouble, turmoil, bloodshed and chaos already?

Really, I couldn't pick any of those offered without feeling like an utter tool. Nurgle stinks, Slaneesh is a whore, Tzeentch is a filthy liar... yeah, come to think of it, your choice only contains one valid option. The only 'honest' deity here would be Khorne. Yeah, since there's no other option offered, I'll go with Khorne. Don't really like the guy, though.

There must be a reason you omitted Malal, which would probably be the purest incarnation of chaos.

If that's ACTUALLY what they gave their cultists, I'd go with Tzeentch.

However, given that they all just want to fuck you any way they can, I'll go with the sexy one who's picture I can't even post because of her beautifully massive girl-cock.

No, the galaxy will not burn. THE GALAXY SHALL FUCK.

Zeke63:
OP you have framed the results by giving bad descriptions of the chaos gods!. They make Tzeentch sound too appealing and powerful compared to the others which is not true! Also, Slaneesh is the god of pain, not just pleasure. Still cool poll but don't frame it BRO

Vanish from here, loyalist scum!

I tried to make the offerings equally desirable. The Nurgle one might be a bit exaggerated, but not so far from the truth. He doesn't offer any power or pleasure. I could have also written down the cost for each, but who'd want to serve any of them then? When you serve Tzeentch, you get limitless knowledge, but don't get nearly any physical perks and ultimately end up either as a soulless, mindless pawn in his great scheme or mutated beyond recognition and sanity.

Gotta go with Malal seeing as you won't give him any love in the poll.

EscapeGoat:

God I love Malal. WHY DID YOU ALL BUT RETCON HIM GW, WHYYYYY?

Malal is not technically GW's property, so they had to change his name to Malice and not talk about him too much.

Tzeentch! Make me wise & birdlike!

GunsmithKitten:

MrPeanut:
Once we finish the Great Project, all you chaos scum will be stuck in warphell with your "gods".

Why would you need that? There's already a lone Grey Knight coked up heavier than Tony Montana going around going all Bane-breaking-Batman on the 40k chaos forces anyway.

For kicks.

That's kinda the reason Necrons do anything anymore.

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