Worst movie(s) you have ever seen?

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bigfatcarp93:

darkcalling:

bigfatcarp93:
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the genius that is...

The Amazing Bulk.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywaR-Lq_ayk

Damn ninjas.

Here's Obscuras Lupa's review of it if you don't want to subject yourself to the whole thing. Which I don't recommend. I actually felt like I was going to inflict physical harm on someone. It's that bad.

http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/ol/olp/36207-the-amazing-bulk

My distant second is probably Leeches. I think it was a Syfy channel original. A college swim team (male btw so you can't even watch it for the hope of nudity) Is attacked by mutant leeches that are attracted to their steroid rich blood.

It is just as pointless as it sounds.

Yay, my first Ninja-ing!

OT: Yeah, seeing OL's review is what made me want to see it. I just HAD t find out if it was for real. And unfortunately, it was...

If I'd seen the review first I wouldn't have watched it. My roommate saw it and, like you, had to see if it was real. He made me and my other roommate watch it with him.

Don't Go in the Woods

It's an amateur indie horror/musical (yes, you read that right) where a bunch of absolutely loathsome hipsters go into the woods, sing horrible out of pitch folk rock, and then get killed off by the most annoying hipster of the bunch. Now, you might think to yourself "that's sounds absolutely amazing, where can I see it?" but don't. Just don't. It's absolutely horribly bland. Have you seen a horror movie before? Hell, have you seen "Scream"? Then you've seen this movie, down to every plot point. The only difference is the large amount of horrendous hipsters complaining about random shit while singing mournful songs with an acoustic guitar.

It's not even good in the train-wreck, what-were-they-thinking kind of way, it's just boring and self-satisfied.

TizzytheTormentor:

I also want to give this movie a mention.
image
No movie has ever annoyed me more than this...delightful film.

I remember watching the Nostalgia Critic review of that. When he got to the part where he said "but it was all just a dream" I laughed and said, "Oh, Doug, that's hilarious". But then he kept going on with the review, and I realized he was serious.

Did somebody actually think that it was a good idea to have 70 minutes of their movie NOT FREAKING EXIST EVEN IN IT'S OWN REALITY? Do they not realize that people may see it as a complete waste of their time?

My worst movie has to be "Manos: the Hands of Fate." Admittedly I did see the live Rifftrax version and that lessened the awefulness, but it was still a huge pile of crap.

Superman Returns. Holy hell this movie was fucking terrible. Christopher Reeve is spinning in his grave because of this steaming pile of shit.
The Matrix. Yep, I'm that guy. This is one of the few movies that literally put me to sleep. I'm getting drowsy just thinking about it.
xXx: State of the Union. Ten minutes in and I was done. Ice Cube is a terrible actor.
30 Minutes or Less. Was this supposed to be funny? If so, I didn't get the memo.
The Blair Witch Project. I've seen better acting in the WWE.
Constantine. Yet another Keanu Reeves movie. Why in the hell does this wanker keep getting work?
Ultraviolet. If you've never seen this cinematic abomination, I envy you.
The director's cut of The Exorcist. There's a reason this was "The version you've never seen." This extended cut damn near ruined one of the greatest horror movies ever made. Extended Cut, my ass. Boring Cut is more like it.

I watched The Room from beginning to end. Anyone able to beat that?

The Star Wars Holiday Special. A film so bad George Lucas and Harrison Ford denied its existence.

Let that sink in for a moment. It was so bad that George Lucas regarded it as a mistake.

Special mention to Manos: The Hands of Fate. The only people to profit from that film was a girl who got a free bicycle and a dog who got a large quantity of dog food.

Grottnikk:
I'd have to say "Yor: The Hunter From the Future". I think I was 10 at the time. I still remember the utter crappiness of it all :).

By the way, has anyone mentioned Uwe Bowle? I haven't seen anything by him but I hear his movies are total crap.

Yor can't be the worse movie ever it has this scene in it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrYxLSSSRd0 (for some reason the embed isn't working)

OT: I'd say the worst film I've ever seen is Jack and Jill, don't ask me how I ended up seeing that piece of shit but just know you should stay far away from it if you have any intelligence what so ever.

redknightalex:
The only other one I can think of was a really bad movie was about some teenager killing dozens of people in his town for no reason at all. It was revolting. The only reason why I list this second was because, when I watched it, I was on a lot of pain killers from my wisdom teeth being pulled and I'd watch anything at that point. So bad.

It sounds like you saw this. It's by Uwe Boll. You have my deepest sympathy.

OT: Natural Born Killers. Artistically inept and morally repugnant, it's the Oliver Stone-iest movie Oliver Stone ever made, and a distillation of all the worst aspects of films in the 90s. It pretends to be a satire of media glorification of violence, to cover up the fact that it's basically a journey into the deepest recesses of Oliver Stone's id. Not a place anyone should visit, especially Oliver Stone.

From an original script by Quentin Tarantino, who refused to be credited, and allegedly told Steve Buscemi and Tim Roth that if they appeared in it, he would never cast them again.

The Simpsons Movie stands proud as the worst film I've paid money to see in a cinema. I saw the George Clooney version of Solaris and didn't get it; I saw the rejig of Alien and it hurt my eyes because the projectionist was incompetent. But neither of those movies were a ten-years-too-late pointless self-indulgent shitfest.

Elsewhere... Snakes On A Train (note distinction) was pretty awful.

Gosh, people. Have none of you seen "This Means War"? There is literally nothing good in the movie. The acting is shit, the soundtrack is shit, the camera work is shit, and all three combined won't top the atrocity that is the plot.

If I can accomplish anything in this life, is warning as many people away from that turd monster and the illustrious mr McG. Seriously, that man needs to rethink his choise of careers. He makes Uwe Boll look like fucking Ingmar Bergman.

ThatDarnCoyote:

redknightalex:
The only other one I can think of was a really bad movie was about some teenager killing dozens of people in his town for no reason at all. It was revolting. The only reason why I list this second was because, when I watched it, I was on a lot of pain killers from my wisdom teeth being pulled and I'd watch anything at that point. So bad.

It sounds like you saw this. It's by Uwe Boll. You have my deepest sympathy.

Yes, that was it. Ugh, what an atrocious movie. I'm so thankful I can only remember bits and pieces and that the painkillers were enough to keep me mildly sedated throughout the entire thing. After a few days of those things, you can barely watch anything except the horribly bad so you can sleep through the movies.

At least we have a way to let these movies be made. The one good thing we can come out of all this is a non-censorship policy with movies. Or, at least it isn't terribly obvious. If he can make that, then I don't see an limits.

Colour-Scientist:
I would say 'The Room' but I prefer to think of it as a work of comedic genius.

The Room isn't a film: it's an experience. If you have a chance to go to a midnight screening take it!

---

The Road.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0898367/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

It moves at a snails pace, going nowhere and answering none of the questions it raises. It was kind of like Children of Men only with nothing going for it. At least Children of Men had some spicy Murder in it to liven things up. Blair Witch Project is another movie that I absolutely hate. Ya know what? I'm going to say Blair Witch and The Road tie for first as the worst movie I've ever seen. Screw both of em'.

well the room was a bucket of shait but that movie is so called out as bad now it's not even funny anymore. still though. there's bad. and then there is giving up

Twilight, High School Musical (1 and 2)...

all movies I was conned or coerced into seeing... hated all of them.

Also applies for Transformers.

In no particular order:

- Cop Out
- The Other Guys
- Step Brothers
- The Village
- Lady in the Water
- Pineapple Express
- The Strangers
- Borat
- Human Centipede
- Paranormal Activity
- Napoleon Dynamite
- Superbad

I really don't know how I sat through them all.

I would say it's a tie between The Last Airbender and Santa's Little Helper.

TLA bothered me because he took a great show and made a horrible movie behind it.

SLH made me physically want to kill a child, and I usually like children. And whoever wrote that piece of crap.

Nothing made sense in either movie and both sent me into a frothing rage.

......RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGEEEEEEEE

Like Quentin Tarantino tells us to, I have sworn to never hate a movie. To never leave the theater or shut down the TV, filled with hostility and rage. I don't hate any movie...

...but I sure know when a movie hates me!
http://blip.tv/brows-held-high/brows-held-high-trash-humpers-4678636

aba1:
The dragon ball movie was excruciatingly bad. I don't know how that ever got off the ground let alone approved for theaters.

Dude, you just weren't watching it in the right mindset. It turns out if you watch it drunk at 2am in the nearest fast food establishment it's an a high class piece of cinematic history. I miss that place :(

OT: It's difficult to separate out the truly bad ones from the one's I was just underwhelmed by. But that said, the Village. Fuck the village. It was like it didn't know whether it wanted to be horror, thriller or psychological, so it decided not to do any. Seriously, what happened between 2002 and the pretty good release of Signs, and 2004 with The Village?

Rawne1980:
Open Water.

Open Water. Nothing happens, nothing at all (see a theme here). The only good part is the Sharks and they are the size of Goldfish. But it's "based on a true story" people tell me. Indeed it is but it's hardly the most exciting true story I can imagine on film. 2 people stranded out at sea and then they die ..... fascinating.

The characters go through the various stages of death, anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance (truth, don't recall the bargain part.. maybe just them thinking, if only can --- we'll be OK.). I thought it very interesting and like that poem: "a man said to the universe, sir, I exist... etc." Sorry you didn't like it.

To really work, I think a thread like this should be more limited in scope. Time period limited in scope, or major budget,or highly critically acclaimed or made gobs and gobs of dough.

Off the top of my head, Pirates of the Caribbean 3. What a miserable experience. Boring, senseless, ugly and I felt crapped on by the writers who let some neat stuff dangle from parts 1 and 2 only to say, "you know, that stuff doesn't really matter... this is all just magic anyway. Followed by Attack of the Clones. Starts promising and becomes a major uncomfortable bore.

aba1:
The dragon ball movie was excruciatingly bad. I don't know how that ever got off the ground let alone approved for theaters.

Money.
There can't really be anything else.

It's pretty close between 2 for me:

1. Paintball: A serial killer with a 70's pornstar haircut and 'stash that wears night vision during the day and hunts paintball players. There's people orchestrating it, but they aren't explained because the director confused "not explaining anything" with "mystery"

2. Rubber: A tire that kills people. I'm done.

As some have already stated, I would have to go with The Room or Birdemic. Probably Birdemic, as the sounds of the birds still haunt my dreams.

I also have a strong dislike for the movies The Last Air Bender, The Invention of Lying, and The Box.

AT God:
I watched The Room from beginning to end. Anyone able to beat that?

Go watch Meatball Machine.
Also, I'm sorry.

Every single game-turned-movie is an anthem of dreariness. Yes, the Resident Evil movies as well. I'm not even going to say "the franchise went downhill after the first one". They ALL suck.

Phantasm and its sequels, and I'll be very much surprised if anyone has even heard of it. Yeah I just took this to a whole new league of bad.

I gonna give a vote to Open Water a story about a couple that gets left behind at sea during a scuba trip and can't find the way back to shore, admittedly a scary idea but one the movie couldn't keep interesting very long so the movie is padded out with random bits of there vacation before the tragic event as well as random and constant cutaways to random wildlife around the resort. The end result was that a film that played out something that felt like watching someone's boring vacation highlights for half an hour before the proper movie even started.

Date Movie. Only film I've ever seen where afterwards I demanded my life back from ticket clerk.

Lovely Molly, just awful. Watched this with friends and we were all baffled at how horrible it was.

aba1:
The dragon ball movie was excruciatingly bad. I don't know how that ever got off the ground let alone approved for theaters.

I forgot about that, I now hate you for remembering me of it.

For me though, i've seen soooo many crappy movies, most on dvd, i just turn them off and never look back.

I've seen the first twilight, (male) friend asks if i wanna go to the movies, sure why i not i thought, and naively asked what movie he had in mind.

He said Twilight

At that point in time i had NEVER heard of it, so i asked what it was about and he said well bout werewolfs and vampires and all that. Sounds good so far.

In the theater however, waiting for the doors to open, i was getting this baaaad feeling since i saw i little bit too much girls in front of me.

Movie played and i couldnt wait till it was over, didnt even walk out since i felt bad for my friend.

For the rest, that one airbender movie was pretty crappy.

And for my fellow Dutch mates out there: Ome henk, although it is utterly brilliant due to the sheer stupidity and crappyness.

The Last Airbender and basically any other movie I've seen on Movie Bob's recommendation.

Oh, and Final Fantasy 13. I maintain FF13 is not a game, but rather a movie with the most convoluted scene select feature ever.

Well, Insidious was hilarious, so that, I guess.
There is a worse movie, but I don't remember what it was called. Incoherent as hell.

Worst movie? Probably D-Wars.

I went in to that movie with actual expectations. I thought it might really be a cool movie about dragons fighting.

When it flashed back to ancient Korea where an army of poorly CGI'd Hippo Frogs where firing missiles from their backs, I knew I was a bit mistaken.

And yet, it was hilarious. The pacing was hilarious, the creatures were hilarious, the plot was hilarious. It was a damn funny movie.

Movie I hated most? In Bruges.

Yes, really. In fact, part of the reason I disposed it so much was specifically because it came so highly recommended.

Dull characters, near non-existent plot, irritating writing and some of the dumbest scenes in any movie ever.

I even enjoy dry, British comedy. I really do. But if that movie was supposed to be funny, then sand is supposed to be a delicious scoop of chocolate ice cream.
The movie pissed me off so bad that analogy didn't even make sense.

I'ma give a sort of Top 5 Worst Movies I've Seen thing, okay? Okay...

Taken 2 - Holy shit! That was so bad. I couldn't make out what happened in the fights and the thing as a whole was a lot of inconsistent drivel.

Date Movie - Do I really need to say it? Garbage!

Goon - Not funny. Not smart. Not anything other than excruciatingly boring and just, plain rubbish.

The Hunger Games - Why!? Why do people like this?! There was nothing of value in it, at all. It's 2+ hours of boring, bland and just stupid exploits that lead up to nothing. At least Jennifer Lawrence made up for it in Silver Linings...

Skyline - Fuck. No.

I'd have to say Gamer here (ironically enough). It was misogynist, thinly written, the camera was shaking around so much in the action that I couldn't tell anyone apart from anyone, the ending was a total let down, the acting lets it down a fair deal of the time, I could keep going on like this al day. This is one you need to avoid.

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