Introducing your significant other to family

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So I am wondering how people introduce their family to their significant other. I have never had a true blue relationship worth even mentioning to my family, and currently there is someone who is a prospect...and this popped in my mind

So how does it usually go for you guys? Tips or advice? Funny, wonderful, or horrendous stories?

You could just...you know...not do it?

In my personal experience nothing good comes from it, you know...the Sister that hates your guts for no reason, the psychotic Father that thinks you're a home wrecker and contantly plots to end the relationship, the sweet Grandmother that is OVERLY protective, the Mother that literally lost her marbles long ago after some divorce, the Aunt that...well the Aunt wasn't so bad.

If I ever have to meet another family again, I am gonna do the whole in 'n out routine. "Hello, nice to meet you all, I only have the best intentions with your daughter/son, but look at the time, I really must be off...yes that casserole does look tasty...sure I'll take some for the road if you insist. Oh yes I will be back to do this all again next year don't worry!"

In 'n out.

Depends on how your family feels about who you're dating.

My family is largely pretty bigoted so dating outside my skin color and their religion is a HUGE issue.

Rose and Thorn:
You could just...you know...not do it?

In my personal experience nothing good comes from it, you know...the Sister that hates your guts for no reason, the psychotic Father that thinks you're a home wrecker and contantly plots to end the relationship, the sweet Grandmother that is OVERLY protective, the Mother that literally lost her marbles long ago after some divorce, the Aunt that...well the Aunt wasn't so bad.

If I ever have to meet another family again, I am gonna do the whole in 'n out routine. "Hello, nice to meet you all, I only have the best intentions with your daughter/son, but look at the time, I really must be off...yes that casserole does look tasty...sure I'll take some for the road if you insist. Oh yes I will be back to do this all again next year don't worry!"

In 'n out.

Yeah, this is pretty much standard operating procedure for anyone with a... non-traditional relationship, especially when both people's families are insane. Had such a situation with my first girlfriend, who was born into a really hickish family. She was awesome. Her family? Not so much.

Seeing as how it's usually seen as a fairly big step, I'd say it's safest to be sure the relationship is going somewhere before you do it. Or, at the least, be ready for others to see it in that light. That doesn't mean rings must have been exchanged or anything specifically but, regardless of how you and your partner (or even the family they're actually meeting) may feel about the meeting, there's going to be some people who see it as a huge indicator of things to come.

Second, get any issues out before the meeting. If there are specific things you want to get out in the open about those involved either to your partner or to your family, it's best to do it first. From major issues to small quirks, it's better to have advance knowledge of them than to have them be a surprise.

Finally, try not to make a big deal out of the occasion. It's already going to be ackward enough for everyone involved, not just you and your partner, so don't pile on added pressure by doing things like making exclusive reservations at a swanky restaurant. Just get together for lunch or a casual dinner and go in having at least tentative plans for you and your partner to go somewhere else after if things start getting too strange.

My family already knew my ex-girlfriend before we started dating, so it wasn't awkward in any way.

My ex-girlfriends mother and father? The mother hated my guts, probably because she is VERY religious and when I was introduced, she put holy water on me (she has a fountain of it in her hallway) and I grabbed my face screaming "IT BURNS" My cousin (who was present with us at the time) and my girlfriend laughed, the mom was...not amused.

The dad, who is also heavily religious, was not there when that...scene occurred, but he was alright, he didn't approve of his daughter dating, but knew it was something teens do, he didn't like how I was an atheist but ultimately respected my right to not believe in god, so he tolerated me and was an okay chap, he did tell me that if I ever slept with his daughter before marriage, he would end me and I believed him, he was an intimidating dude as well. Me and my ex did have sex and I don't think he ever knew about it, considering I am not 6 feet under right now.

TizzytheTormentor:
The mother hated my guts, probably because she is VERY religious and when I was introduced, she put holy water on me (she has a fountain of it in her hallway) and I grabbed my fave screaming "IT BURNS" My cousin (who was present with us at the time) and my girlfriend laughed, the mom was...not amused.

HOLY WATER? Who the hell pours holy water on people they meet?

OT: Can't really say anything, I've never been in a romantic relationship.

I've always just said, "Dad, this is So-and-so." and then my dad says "oh, nice to meet you" and goes back to doing whatever he's doing.

That's how I've always been introduced, too. There was never a thing like, "so, today you're meeting my parents." It was always a chance meeting. The last girlfriend I had, her mother only had a two-second conversation with me ("Is What's-her-face here?" "Yeah, lemme go get her.") and apparently that was enough to form the opinion that she didn't care for me.

I'm an incredibly casual guy, so making a big deal out of meeting the family is just sort of... unnecessary stress, I think.

VeryOddGamer:

TizzytheTormentor:
The mother hated my guts, probably because she is VERY religious and when I was introduced, she put holy water on me (she has a fountain of it in her hallway) and I grabbed my fave screaming "IT BURNS" My cousin (who was present with us at the time) and my girlfriend laughed, the mom was...not amused.

HOLY WATER? Who the hell pours holy water on people they meet?

OT: Can't really say anything, I've never been in a romantic relationship.

Utah dwellers.

I've done it a few times with some girls I dated while younger. Didn't really turn into a thing. It was just a quick "nice to meet you, I'm [X]. We'll be going now."

I only really see my family at Christmas, so it's usually a case of "oh yeah, and I'm bringing *insert name* too".

As a general rule, in fact a a concrete rule, none of my girlfriends have ever had much to do with their families either and I've only ever met one family and they loved me because next to their daughter I looked like a fucking saint.

VeryOddGamer:

TizzytheTormentor:
The mother hated my guts, probably because she is VERY religious and when I was introduced, she put holy water on me (she has a fountain of it in her hallway) and I grabbed my fave screaming "IT BURNS" My cousin (who was present with us at the time) and my girlfriend laughed, the mom was...not amused.

HOLY WATER? Who the hell pours holy water on people they meet?

People with holy water fountains I guess? I just rolled with it (before the screaming "IT BURNS" part)

TizzytheTormentor:

VeryOddGamer:

TizzytheTormentor:
The mother hated my guts, probably because she is VERY religious and when I was introduced, she put holy water on me (she has a fountain of it in her hallway) and I grabbed my fave screaming "IT BURNS" My cousin (who was present with us at the time) and my girlfriend laughed, the mom was...not amused.

HOLY WATER? Who the hell pours holy water on people they meet?

People with holy water fountains I guess? I just rolled with it (before the screaming "IT BURNS" part)

Wait, holy water fountains? I thought that holy water was considered holy because it's blessed by priests or something, but holy water fountains?

Extremely religious people are weird.

While I haven't got a girlfriend yet but my brother does. He introduce her to us by having lunch in a resturant together which well well overall.
Granted he isn't with her anymore (they broke up years ago) but he's in a new relationship althought this time he got the idea of inviting her to stay in my parent house (where I also lived) for a few days when he's over. I can easily imagine it will be awkward as hell, well for me that is.

darlarosa:
So how does it usually go for you guys? Tips or advice? Funny, wonderful, or horrendous stories?

I don't think I'll ever be doing it again. My family hated my last couple of girlfriends.

Then again, they were crazy bitches, so it was hardly unjustified...

Do it in the form of a Cluedo game. You know, smuggle her head in with the suspects and then ask "Is the suspect in a relationship with me?"
When they say "um... no", you remove her picture. That should give them a good clue.

All of life's problems can in the end be solved with a board game.

Depends what the situation is...Are you a dude bringing a lady home or is it the other way around? Or this could be a same-sex thing (In that case I have no advice). If you're a dude bringing a lady home then it should be a piece of cake. The dude's parents usually always like the chick. But if you're a chick bringing a dude over, your father is probably going to be looking to see if he's husband material.

EDIT

On second glance of the first post, pretty sure the situation is: Dude bringing home a chick. Easiest job in the world.

My parents were pretty laid back with who I date, so I usually brought guys over as a part of the screening process.
If they are someone that can just come over and hang out, then they usually have nothing to hide.

Now that my dad has passed away, my mom is the one bringing back her boyfriend to introduce to the family.
Our tactic was to go our for dinner, not eat at home. Go dutch on the bill. Have neutral topics and tales to talk about.

I dont know how it is in other families, but for me, the sooner the better.
But I dont have siblings and crazy relatives or any religion or racist thinking in the family...

TizzytheTormentor:
My family already knew my ex-girlfriend before we started dating, so it wasn't awkward in any way.

My ex-girlfriends mother and father? The mother hated my guts, probably because she is VERY religious and when I was introduced, she put holy water on me (she has a fountain of it in her hallway) and I grabbed my face screaming "IT BURNS" My cousin (who was present with us at the time) and my girlfriend laughed, the mom was...not amused.

The dad, who is also heavily religious, was not there when that...scene occurred, but he was alright, he didn't approve of his daughter dating, but knew it was something teens do, he didn't like how I was an atheist but ultimately respected my right to not believe in god, so he tolerated me and was an okay chap, he did tell me that if I ever slept with his daughter before marriage, he would end me and I believed him, he was an intimidating dude as well. Me and my ex did have sex and I don't think he ever knew about it, considering I am not 6 feet under right now.

A friend of mine had a relationship like that. Only when he went to meet her religious family, the girl got pulled into another room by her parents for a private discussion. She comes back out, quite flustered, and the dad goes (right in front of my friend) 'THIS MAN IS THE DEVIL, AND HE WILL LEAD YOU ASTRAY!'

He was just like, 'right, fuck this. I'm out. Nice seeing you.'

OT: Only one girl I've had any kind of romantic/sexual relationship with has met the clan. I was more nervous than I should've been. They really liked her, which I expected, I don't know. It was like... irrational nerves.

I think we may have caused my fairly prying sister to injure herself though. She's always been fairly nosy with my business. Like, she always has to know when I've done something, so she can make a smart comment in front of our parents. So me and my then girlfriend are up in my room.... bed springs start making noise. After a while of this, we here a really heavy crashing sound through the wall in the bathroom.

Turns out my sister somehow slipped and fell in the bath/shower. Never asked her about it, but she was totally listening in.

It generally goes perfectly well. The only complaint my parents have is that they hear about it after everyone else, my friends having already heard about it through facebook status changes.

The most fun though is introducing my girlfriends to my grandparents. My last two girlfriends have been Chinese and Indian (respectively), and my grandparents are the old fashioned sort with "old fashioned views". They try to be polite, but you can clearly see how out of their depth they are, and how careful they are trying to not say something offensive. Bless 'em.

I imagine it would go "Hey, this is my mum. Mum, this is <name>. You probably won't ever meet my dad, since it seems a bit weird to go to his house just to point out that I'm in a relationship."

Nothing special really. But I don't really believe in making a big deal of it, like having a dinner or something.
Although in my head it'd probably be a big deal that I got a partner.

My family's quite laid back, what with it basically just being my mum. Likewise my brother probably wouldn't think enough of it to try to meet them.
I suppose if I was going to get married to them I'd like them to have a decent relationship with my family so it doesn't seem out of the blue.
I guess I could just bring them to an annual celebration, like a christmas party, or new years. Too bad there aren't more times of the year to have a natural meeting like that.

Anyway, I think if I ever go through this, my partner's family will be more likely to cause problems.

I introduced my girlfriend to my parents after one year of being together. She paid a visit to my parent's house during christmas, and it went fairly well. We had a couple of laughs, and my parents are pretty cool overall, so it wasn't weird or something.
The whole introduction was the typical, "This is A, this is my mother.", routine .

Perfect wa to introduce your gf to your family:
"Hi everyone, this is "insert name", it's great seeing you all, but we gotta run there is a lot to prepare since we are getting married tomorrow."

Perfect way to introduce yourself to your gf's family:

Walking up to your gf's mom: " I am so sorry for your loss, how long were you married?"

euhm, in 9/10 cases parents are going to behave is interested and civilised folks. Looking forward to meeting their offsprings love interest. Most people aren't psychopaths...

And introducing someone to your parents. "Hey mom, I'm going to have someone comming over for diner in a couple of days, it's this girl I've been going out with for a while." seems pretty servicable.
Or if she is really shy and you're both living at or close by your parents: "This girl I'm seeing is coming over, just a heads up." Could work wonders.

Everybody will be a little nervous, names will be exchanged, and fun will be had. I don't think this should be a big deal or rocket science. Getting someone crazy enough to come along is ussually the hard part.

I'm probably not a good 'template' to go by, for the most part. Never introduced anyone to the folks, but I've been introduced once. First relationship, everyone knew everyone anyway, so there was no need to introduce, and third didn't last long enough to reach that point. Second though... ah...

Her: "Um... Mom, Dad... this is AJ."

She's basically crushing my hand as she says this. Her mother then proceeds to sit down and struggle not to cry, while her father just nods to me, leaves and doesn't come back. Meeting her brother was strange as well, as he took me aside and said he'd help if I needed him to. I got what he meant so it didn't actually strike me as weird until I broke up with her and remembered that...

My family's usually fine, especially with me, since I'm the male child. My sister is currently in a relationship with someone 10 years older than her. My dad was funny about it until he met the guy and my mum is usually easy going, but still cautious.
With me, as long as I'm not dating the wrong sort,[1] my parents don't care. As long as they make me happy.

As for being introduced to parents, my ex-girlfriend's one was a little weird. The dad just sat there while the mum jabbered on and on about good Lord knows. Then the dad stood up, took my hand, gave it a shake and said "Thank you for giving my daughter a chance."
Long story short, she had diagnosed depression, was on meds and had manic episodes. To be honest, I'm glad she ended it. Wasn't happy at the time, over the moon about it now.

[1] I couldn't find another word that was a suitable substitute for trash. I'm sure there's a general consensus as to what qualifies as such.

I take care my mom doesn't find out about it, she thinks that I would rape here >.>
My gf's familiy does know it, they are fine with it except for her mom...
Was a bit akward when I finally met her parents but went better then expected, outside what I just said.

well some of my relatives are pretty racist and i tend to date outside of my nationality so when i do decide to introduce someone odds are it will sound like this
"hey guys meet my new wife"

I've never introduced any partners of mine to my parents and were I to have another relationship I will endvour to keep the two entities apart.

However, I can tell you what hapened to my brother when he intoduced his asian girlfreind to my father, who is not the most politically correct person you'll ever meet. Needless to say it ended badly, the relationship ended unfortunately for my brother.

I never understood why this seems to be such a nailbiter for people, but then again I was never in the position before. Now that the stars have aligned and I actually have a girlfriend, she instantly proceeded to introduce me to her parents, and a week later I'm basically being treated like family. In about a month my dad will come visit, so I guess I'll introduce my girlfriend to him then - it's the logical and polite thing to do, and based on their personalities I see no possible complications whatsoever.

Rose and Thorn:
You could just...you know...not do it?

Really not an option with a lot of families.

On the plus side, my family loves my girlfriend. I think they love my girlfriend more than me. In fact, if we break up, I think I have to be the one to move out of the state.

Now her family, on the other hand....

Her mother at the very least decided she hated me before she knew anything about me. But again, not an option to avoid meeting them.

So I'll just be thankful they don't have any working firearms....

Sonicron:
I never understood why this seems to be such a nailbiter for people, but then again I was never in the position before. Now that the stars have aligned and I actually have a girlfriend, she instantly proceeded to introduce me to her parents, and a week later I'm basically being treated like family. In about a month my dad will come visit, so I guess I'll introduce my girlfriend to him then - it's the logical and polite thing to do, and based on their personalities I see no possible complications whatsoever.

Well, I'm glad that things went well for you, but having brought home more than one girl to the family, I can tell you it doesn't always work out like that. Even if you think they'll get along, they won't necessarily.

I live in my mother's house so it was kind of inevitable that my boyfriend would meet her. It was just a quick introduction before we bailed. I don't like my family, nor do I care about their opinion of the people I associate with. My mother is the last person from whom I would accept a value judgement, what with the scum she brought into the house. My father is also an ass and I'd like to spare my boyfriend the misfortune of meeting him, which shouldn't be hard since I see him maybe twice a year.

I've never met my boyfriend's family and don't really care to. He doesn't get along with them either. I gravitate towards people with shitty family lives since I can't relate to people who get along with their parents. In fact I tend to resent them.

She didn't get to meet dad, because I don't want him to be a part of my life any more than necessary. Mom and Momsnewhusband, though, seemed to like her well enough.

Same as any new friend I've invited over... Except instead of saying "this is so-and-so", I say "this is so-and-so, my girlfriend". This is pretty much also true for when I've been introduced to my past girlfriend's respective families.

Partly, I guess it works so well because it's normally dealt with so naturally. I've never gotten the whole "go out to dinner for the introduction" thing, because if there are any problems you just have to sit there and everyone's forced to continue awkwardly interacting. For the method I'm used to, after the introduction and a little small talk my gf and I will go off and do our own thing, and she'll steadily interact with the family at hers and my family's own pace (the same goes for when I'm introduced to her family).

All that aside, looking at other responses here, I feel a little weird that it's always gone smoothly for me... O.o

Been with my wife now for 9 years .... never met anyone from her family.

She's met mine.

Turned up at my parents house, said "this is Rachel" and that was it.

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