Ghetto up websites with gizoogle!

 Pages 1 2 NEXT
 

http://www.gizoogle.net/

This translates any web page to Ebonics. For those who don't know what Ebonics is, allow me to show you:

Original

I think you're overreacting a bit, I mean free speech doesn't grant you the right to a wall to write your thoughts on so I don't think anyone's rights were violated except maybe the guy who put up the wall in the first place.

Gizoogled

I be thinkin yo ass is overreactin a funky-ass bit, I mean free rap don't grant you tha muthafuckin right ta a wall ta write yo' thoughts on so I don't be thinkin every last muthafuckin muthafuckaz muthafuckin rights was violated except maybe tha playa whoz ass put up tha wall up in tha straight-up original gangsta place.

Post your personal highlights with this or other websites here.

This SPUF page (don't look at me like that) is full of great examples of what this site can do. Read it if you value vulgar comedy!

Gizoogle an Escapist article such as this one. They are absolute gold for this sort of stuff.

I particularly like how the Co-President is known as

Co-Prezzy of Deez'nuts Interactizzle Jizzy Pleasants

I also believe I'm doing a great service to this forum by putting the latest EN thread through it for chuckles, since there's always plenty of comments there =D

I will love you forever for this, OP.

Now everything is 3x as funny!

I'm gonna go read Youtube comments with it! :D

Edit:

If you want a specific URL to be gizoogled; just paste it in the URl box and hit gizoogle da news. Also here's another great page.

http://www.gizoogle.net/index.php?search=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FWorld_war_2&news=Gizoogle+Da+News

I just ran infamous fanfic "My Immortal" through Gizoogle. It was glorious. It was like the stupidity reached some sort of singularity.

Oh dear god, I love you for this.

Dad,

For fifteen muthafuckin years you took care of mah dirty ass. For fifteen muthafuckin years you loved me, played wit me, n' done cooked up shizzle I enjoyed mah thuglife up in a ghetto not meant ta doggy den mah dirty ass. I'm not a mare of nuff lyrics yo, but even though I busted some lyrics ta you dis up in person, I felt you needed a gangbangin' freestyled version of it so yo big-ass booty is ghon know it was all real.

I ludd you daddy. Yo ass helped shape mah crazy ass tha fuck into tha mare I be now, nahmeean, biatch? I'm not shizzle what tha fuck is goin ta happen, if I will remember any of dis and not yo, but I want you ta know dat you did a thugged-out darn phat thang of raisin me, even if I was a funky-ass bit stubborn at times n' short wit you durin others.

With Celestia's permission, I hope ta allow you ta keep our photos; our memories, wit you so dat yo big-ass booty is ghon never forget fo' realz. Again, I ludd you, n' give props ta yo thugged-out ass.

Yo Crazy-Ass lil daughter always,

Yo Crazy-Ass lil Dashie forever,

Rainbow Dash.

My god. That was amazing.

Genesis chapter 1: And Dogg holla'd, "Let there be light," n' boo-ya.. there was a shitload of weed.

http://www.gizoogle.net/index.php?search=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.escapistmagazine.com%2Fforums%2Fread%2F18.399344-Poll-MLP-Has-Jumped-the-Shark&news=Gizoogle+Da+News

WARNING!, muthafucka! DISCUSSION OF MULTICOLORED MINIATURE HORSES IMMINENT, muthafucka! THOSE WHO ARE EASILY DISTURBED BY BRIGHT COLORS PLEASE PLACE YOUR HEAD INSIDE OF A MILITARY THEMED DUFFEL BAG AND BEGIN TO HYPERVENTILATE!

...ALSO THERE BE SPOILERS!

Guess what, muthafucka! So tha sheezy My fuckin Little Pony: Hommieshizzle Is Magic has been pretty hot shiznit fo' a while now, nahmeean, biatch? I mah dirty ass was a pretty big-ass fan, havin watched tha straight-up original gangsta season at least 3 times. It was like above par. Da sheezy had a endearin art style, likable characters, decent plot, n' a cold-ass lil cute charm dat one couldn't help but adore. But then tha creator, Lauren Faust, left tha show. I, like most fans, hoped dat dis wouldn't mean dat tha phat times was over -- one thug don't cook up a show, right?

Well, as season two ran itz course it became mo' n' mo' clear dat tha sheezy I loved was dying. Charactas dat had always been so well defined became inconsistent. In fact, Twilight Sparkle was horribly flanderized up in tha straight-up first episode not pimped up by Faust, Lesson Zero. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch goes so straight-up batshizzle loco over tha fact dat her ass missed one lil deadline (that I might add was never specified up in her original gangsta assignment) dat her ass muthafuckin puts tha hood up in danger n' Celestia has ta step up in ta clean thangs up!

Now, if dis had been a isolated incident I would have just chalked it up as tha one bad episode dat every last muthafuckin sheezy has yo, but it set a precedent of sloppy freestylin n' asinine plots dat snowballed as tha season went on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Baby Cakes: two babbys dat -- straight from tha womb -- could give Twilight n' Rainbow Dash a run fo' they scrilla up in magic n' flyin respectively fo' realz. A Hommie up in Deed: Pinkie sets up ta straight-up *ruin* a innocent donkeyz thuglife just so he would be her playa n' muthafuckin manages ta git her way all up in tha end. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Puttin Yo Crazy-Ass Hoof Down: tha entire hood decides dat it is wackty ta Fluttershy day, n' Fluttershy respondz by gettin lessons on how tha fuck ta be a cold-ass lil complete asshole. MMMystery on tha Hommieshizzle Express: half of tha mane six prove themselves ta be complete jerks wit no regard fo' every last muthafuckin muthafucka and anythang than full-fillin any desire dat pops tha fuck into they selfish lil headz as tha straight-up destroy tha cake dat the, er, Cakes poured hourz of blood n' sweat tha fuck into fo' tha competition. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And then there was tha Canterlot Wedding. Oh man, here our crazy-ass asses smoke up dat Twilight has a long-ass lost brutha whoz ass muthafuckin wasn't lost n' dat her ass loves so straight-up dearly dat her ass never thought ta even mention his ass *every muthafucka* before dis time, even up in passing.

Da finale of season 2 was tha point dat I decided I couldn't be a gangbangin' hustla of MLP anymore, tha sheezy had just become too ridiculous ta watch fo' realz. All of tha charm is gone, n' tha charactas is exaggerated shellz of what tha fuck they once were. Da plots, while they was never dunkadelic, is now straight-up ludicrous -- yes Celestia, letz take tha Dogg of Chaos dat took two whole episodes just ta wrangle back tha fuck into his stone shell n' just fo' tha heck of it letz turn his ass loose up in tha vain hope dat he can be converted tha fuck into a phat guy.

To wrap thangs up, I wanna know what tha fuck tha bronies n' ex-broniez of tha escapist be thinkin of MLP now yo. Has it jumped tha shark and is it just as phat as it eva was, biatch? If you feel it is past itz prime, is tha departure of Lauren Faust responsible fo' dis decline up in quality?

Let's use this to make racists look silly!

http://www.gizoogle.net/xfer.php?link=http://www.stormfront.org/&sa=U&ei=Z34DUfS4GIua0QWjqIDwAg&ved=0CB0QFjAA&usg=AFQjCNE0BLlHtokk3SNRJDdPMKBUWwg5VQ

Quote of the Day: "Our thugged-out asses is a cold-ass lil hood of White Nationalists."

Ill joint.

I just wished dat it didn't redirect ta tha main wizzy page when clickin on links on tha translated page.

Jules Winnfield:
'Da path of tha righteous playa is beset on all sides wit tha iniquitizzlez of tha selfish n' tha tyranny of evil men. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Blessed is he whoz ass up in tha name of charitizzle n' phat will shepherdz tha weak all up in tha valley of darkness, fo' he is truly his bruthaz keeper n' tha finder of lost children. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And I will strike down upon em wit pimped out vengeizzle n' wit furious anger em whoz ass attempt ta poison n' destroy mah bruthas fo' realz. And yo big-ass booty is ghon know dat mah fuckin name be tha Lord when I lay mah vengeizzle upon thee know what I be sayin biatch, biatch?

Ezekiel 25:17

This is gold OP, great find.

Anyone know where we can get a translation of Mein Kampf on the internet?

Behold, Tha Hobbit!!

This hobbit was a straight-up well-to-do hobbit, n' his name was Baggins. Da Bagginses had lived up in tha neighbourhood of Da Hill fo' time outta mind, n' gangstas considered em straight-up respectable, not only cuz most of em was rich yo, but also cuz they never had any adventures and did anythang unexpected: you could tell what tha fuck a Baggins would say on any question without tha bother of askin his muthafuckin ass. This be a rap of how tha fuck a Baggins had a adventure, found his dirty ass bustin n' sayin thangs altogether unexpected. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude may have lost tha neighbours' respect yo, but he gained-well, yo big-ass booty is ghon peep whether he gained anythang up in tha end.

Spade Lead:
Anyone know where we can get a translation of Mein Kampf on the internet?

http://www.hitler.org/writings/Mein_Kampf/

umm, modafuggan crawly dings on a skyship

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/528.398977-Why-do-Atheists-see-it-as-the-best-option?

I can tell I be goin ta git insulted at some point up in dis topic fo' realz. Ah well.
Okay so tha straight-up basics is dat I live up in tha UK fo' realz. And I be a mad devout Greek orthodox Christian. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Been one mah entire life, n' it has helped mah crazy ass a lot.
But thatz not tha point, what tha fuck mah point is dat on tha internizzle, on TV, n' other places. Its straight-up easy as fuck ta find some muthafucka actin like all religions is straight-up stupid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "flyin spaghetti monster" is tha easiest example ta be thinkin of.
And I don't git dat shit. I straight-up don't guys. I honestly can't comprehend tha concept dat tha ghetto is mo' betta once you decizzle there is no Dogg. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I've tried ta understand, be thinkin of a explanation n' nothang.
What bigs up is MY OPINION if you peep thangs differently, then I 100% accept that, mean you no offence, n' have no wish ta try n' chizzle yo' mind. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Straight-Up. Okay our crazy-ass asses def, biatch? Right then.
So ta me, when I try ta be thinkin of tha concept of they bein no god and divine juice of any kind, n' consider a universe where tha big-ass bang was a accident n' everythang is cuz of how tha fuck science works. I can't help but peep it as darker. Yo ass peep up in mah beliefs , our crazy-ass asses is special, our crazy-ass asses is all loved truly by a Dogg dat truly desires our lives ta be full of peace n' joy. (I be not goin ta start on tha funky-ass "bad thangs happen ta phat gangstas argument" dis is mo' and less tha cliff notes.)
my beliefs hold dat tha ghetto, maybe even tha universe, was pimped fo' humanitizzle n' dat there be a thugged-out distinct, n' concrete meanin of thuglife n' everythang. No I aint gots tha arrogizzle ta claim I know what tha fuck tha meanin is.
And I truly do believe dirtnap aint tha end, everythang is goin ta be aiiiight n' dat our crazy-ass asses will all live forever, loved ones, heaven etc etc.
And I straight-up do understand why gangstas chizzle ta say there is no Dogg. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Straight-Up I do. I've read intelligent n' well thought up theories n' statements dat make phat points, even if I disagree wit them.
But I don't give a fuck WHY it is peeped as a phat thang. Can some muthafucka please help mah crazy ass understand why itz peeped as mo' betta ta believe up in a ghetto where thuglife be a accident n' holdz no meanin fo' realz. And once yo ass is dead, all dat greets you is oblivion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yes dat is tha negativez of Athiesm, n' thatz tha point, I can't be thinkin of plus sides ta dat shit.
Nuff props fo' yo' time.

somonels:

Spade Lead:
Anyone know where we can get a translation of Mein Kampf on the internet?

http://www.hitler.org/writings/Mein_Kampf/

umm, modafuggan crawly dings on a skyship

You my hero Nigga!

Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler

Volume One - A Reckoning
Chapter V: Da Ghetto War

As A YOUNG SCAMP up in mah wild years, not a god damn thang had so grieved me as havin been born at a time which obviously erected its Hallz of Hype only ta shopkeepers n' posse officials. Da wavez of phat events seemed ta have grown so smooth dat tha future straight-up seemed ta belong only to tha 'peaceful contest of nations'; up in other lyrics, a cold-ass lil cozy mutual swindling match wit tha exclusion of violent methodz of defense. Da various nations fuckin started ta be mo' n' mo' like private playa hatas whoz ass cut tha ground from under one anotherz feet, jackin each otherz hustlas n' orders, trying in every last muthafuckin way ta git ahead of one another, n' stagin dis whole act amid a hue n' cry as loud as it is harmless. This pimpment seemed not only to endure but was expected up in time (as was universally recommended) ta remodel the whole ghetto tha fuck into one big-ass department store up in whose vestibulez tha busts of tha shrewdest profiteers n' da most thugged-out lamblike administratizzle officials would be garnered fo' all eternity. Da English could supply tha merchants, the Germans tha administratizzle officials, n' tha Jews no diggitizzle would have to sacrifice themselves ta bein tha ballaz, since by they own admission they never make any scrilla yo, but always 'pay,' and, besides, drop a rhyme da most thugged-out languages.
Why couldn't I done been born a hundred muthafuckin years earlier, biatch? Say at the time of tha Warz of Liberation when a man, even without a 'business,' was straight-up worth somethang?!
Thus I had often indulged up in supa pissed thoughts concernin mah earthly pilgrimage, which, as it seemed ta me, had begun too late, n' regarded the period 'of law n' order' ahead of mah crazy ass as a mean n' undeserved trick of Fate. Even as a funky-ass pimp I was no 'pacifist,' n' all attempts ta educate me up in dis direction came ta nothang.
Da Boer Battle was like summer lightnin ta mah dirty ass.
Every dizzle I waited impatiently fo' tha newspapers n' devoured dispatches n' shizzle reports, aiiight all up in tha privilege of witnessin dis heroic struggle even at a thugged-out distizzle.
Da Russo-Japanese Battle found mah crazy ass considerably mo' mature yo, but also mo' attentive. Mo' fo' nationistic reasons I had already taken sides, and up in our lil raps at once sided wit tha Japanese. In a thugged-out defeat of tha Russians I saw tha defeat of Austrian Slavdom.
Since then nuff muthafuckin years have passed, n' what tha fuck as a funky-ass pimp had seemed to mah crazy ass a lingerin disease, I now felt ta be tha on tha down-low before tha storm. As early as mah Vienna period, tha Balkans was immersed up in dat livid sultriness which customarily announces tha hurricane, n' from time ta time a funky-ass beam of brighter light flared up, only ta vanish again up in tha spectral darkness. But then came tha Balkan Battle n' wit it tha straight-up original gangsta gust of wind swept across a Europe grown nervous. Da time which now followed lay on tha chests of men like a heavy nightmare, sultry as feverish tropic heat, so dat due to constant anxiety tha sense of approachin catastrophe turned at last to longing: let Heaven at last give free rein ta tha fate which could no longer be thwarted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And then tha straight-up original gangsta mighty lightnin flash struck the earth; tha storm was unleashed n' wit tha thunder of Heaven there mingled the roar of tha Ghetto Battle batteries.
When tha shizzle of tha cappin' of Archduke Francis Ferdinand arrived in Munich (I happened ta be chillin up in da crib n' heard of it only- vaguely), I was at first seized wit worry dat tha bullets may done been blasted from the pistolz of German students, who, outta indignation all up in tha heir apparent's continuous work of Slavization, wanted ta free tha German gangstas from this internal enemy. What tha consequence of dis would done been was easy as fuck to imagine: a freshly smoked up wave of persecutions which would now done been 'justified' and 'explained' up in tha eyez of tha whole ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But when, soon afterward, I heard tha namez of tha supposed assassins, n' moreover read dat they had been identified as Serbs, a light shudder fuckin started ta run all up in mah crazy ass at this vengeizzle of inscrutable Destiny.
Da top billin playa of tha Slavs had fallen beneath tha bullets of Slavic fanatics.
Every Muthafucka wit constant occasion up in tha last muthafuckin years ta observe the relation of Austria ta Serbia could not fo' a moment be up in doubt dat a stone had been set rollin whose course could no longer be arrested.
Those whoz ass todizzle shower tha Viennese posse wit reproaches on tha form n' content of tha ultimatum it issued, do it a injustice. No other juice up in tha ghetto could have acted differently up in tha same stupid-ass situation and tha same stupid-ass position. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. At her southeastern border Austria possessed a inexorable and mortal enemy whoz ass at shorter n' shorter intervals kept challengin the monarchy n' would never have left off until tha moment favorable fo' the shatterin of tha Empire had arrived. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! There was reason ta fear dat this would occur all up in tha sickest fuckin wit tha dirtnap of tha oldschool Emperor; by then like the oldschool monarchy would no longer be up in a posizzle ta offer any straight-up resistizzle. In tha last few muthafuckin years tha state had been so bound up wit tha thug of Francis Joseph dat tha dirtnap of dis oldschool embodiment of tha Empire was felt by tha broad masses ta be tantamount ta tha dirtnap of tha Empire itself. Indeed, it was one of tha craftiest artifices, particularly of tha Slavic policy, ta create tha appearizzle dat tha Austrian state no longer owed its existence ta anythang but tha miraculous n' unique skill of dis monarch; this flattery was all tha mo' welcome up in tha Hofburg, since it corresponded not at all ta tha real meritz of tha Emperor. Da thorn hidden up in these paeanz of praise remained undiscovered Da rulaz did not see, and like no longer wanted ta see, dat tha mo' tha monarchy depended on tha outstanding statecraft, as they put it, of dis 'wisest monarch' of all times, tha more catastrophic tha situation was bound ta become if one dizzle Fate was ta knock at his fuckin lil' door, too, demandin its tribute.
Was oldschool Austria even conceivable without tha Emperor?!
Wouldn't tha tragedy which had once stricken Maria Theresa have been repeated?
Fuck dat shit, it is straight-up bustin tha Vienna circlez a injustice ta reproach them wit rushin tha fuck into a war which might otherwise done been avoided. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! It no longer could be avoided yo, but at most could done been postponed fo' one or two years. But dis was tha curse of German as well as Austrian diplomacy, that it had always striven ta postpone tha inevitable reckoning, until at length it was forced ta strike at da most thugged-out unfavorable hour. Our thugged-out asses can be convinced that a gangbangin' further attempt ta save peace would have brought war at a even more unfavorable time.
Fuck dat shit, em whoz ass did not want dis war had ta have tha courage to grill tha consequences, which could have consisted only up in tha sacrifice of Austria. Even then tha war would have come yo, but no longer as a struggle of all against ourselves yo, but up in tha form of a partizzle of tha Habsburg monarchy fo' realz. And then they had ta make up they mindz ta join in, and ta look on wit empty handz n' let Fate run its course.
Those straight-up gangstas, however, whoz ass todizzle is loudest up in cursing the beginnin of tha war n' offer tha sagest opinions was em whoz ass contributed most fatally ta steerin our asses tha fuck into dat shit.
For decades tha Social Democrats had carried on da most thugged-out scoundrelly war agitation against Russia, n' tha Center fo' religious reasons had been most actizzle up in bustin tha Austrian state tha hinge n' pivot of Germany policy. Now our crazy-ass asses had ta suffer tha consequencez of dis lunacy. What came had ta come, n' could no longer under any circumstizzlez be avoided. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! The guilt of tha German posse was dat up in order ta preserve peace it always missed tha favorable hours fo' striking, became entangled up in tha alliizzle for tha preservation of ghetto peace, n' thus finally became tha victim of a ghetto coalizzle which countered tha idea of preservin ghetto peace with not a god damn thang less than determination fo' ghetto war.
If tha Vienna posse had given tha ultimatum another milder form, dis would have chizzled not a god damn thang up in tha situation except at most one thang, dat dis posse would itself done been swept away by tha indignation of tha gangstas. For up in tha eyez of tha broad masses tha tone of tha ultimatum was far too gentle n' by no means too brutal, let alone too far-reaching Every Muthafucka whoz ass todizzle attempts ta argue dis away is either a gangbangin' forgetful blockhead or a perfectly conscious swindla n' liar
Da struggle of tha year 1914 was not forced on tha masses- no, by tha livin Dogg-it was desired by tha whole gangstas.
Muthafuckas wanted at length ta put a end ta tha general uncertainty. Only thus can it be understood dat mo' than two mazillion German pimps and boys thronged ta tha flavas fo' dis hardest of all struggles, prepared to defend tha flag wit tha last drop of they blood.

Thanks, mate. I went straight to the Whitehouse petition website and blacked it up a notch. Behold, mindless legions, Barack Obama's true form is revealed!!

I'm currently looking around "Da Escapist". Apparently, "Disney" translates to "Deez'nuts". WAIT, I just got an idea. I'll be right back.

*ahem*

This is a fairly awesome video of Charlie Chaplin making an amazing speech in a movie about Hitler.

And THIS is a transcript of the same speech, according to Gizzoogle.

Thank you, so very much.

Apparently, Doctor Who is about a "time-pimpin' humanoid alien" who "flies all up in tha time vortex" in a "funky-ass blue British 5-0 Box" while "hittin that shizzle to save civilizations, help ordinary gangstas, 'n mothafuckin' right wrongs".

There are no words to describe my gratitude to the OP for showing me this.

Fan Fiction + Gizoogle = ...

OH GOD, OH GOD WHAT HAVE I CREATED?! THIS IS AN ABOMINATION OF THE WRITTEN WORD!

This even makes almost everything funny... (The WBC site is still stupidly mean-spirited and plain wrong)

Facebook: "Update Yo Crazy-Ass Browser
You're rockin a wizzy browser dat isn't supported by Facebizzle.
To git a funky-ass mo' betta experience, go ta one of these cribs n' git tha sickest f***** version of yo' preferred browser: Internizzle Explainer, Mo'jizzle Firefox, Safari."

And here is this thread translated.

This is possibly the best thing since google...

Yo mah fuckin name be Ebony Dark'nizz Dementia Raven Way n' I have long ebony black afro (thatz how tha fuck I gots mah name) wit purple streaks n' red tips dat reaches mah mid-back n' icy blue eyes like limpid tears n' a shitload of gangstas tell mah crazy ass I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't give a fuck whoz ass her ass is git da hell outta here!). I be not related ta Gerard Way but I wish I was cuz he be straight a major fuckin hottie. I be a vampire but mah teeth is straight n' white. I have pale white skin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I be also a witch, n' I go ta a magic school called Hogwarts up in England where I be up in tha seventh year (I be seventeen). I be a goth (in case you couldn't tell) n' I wear mostly black. I gots a straight-up boner fo' Hot Topic n' I cop all mah threadz from there. For example todizzle I was bustin a funky-ass black corset wit matchin lace around it n' a funky-ass black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets n' black combat boots. I was bustin black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner n' red eye shadow. I was struttin outside Hogwarts. It was snowin n' rainin so there was no sun, which I was straight-up aiiight bout fo' realz. A lot of preps stared at mah dirty ass. I put up mah middle finger at them.
'

Chapter 32.

Publisherz Note: Yo everyone, muthafucka! It aint nuthin but Olive again, muthafucka! So, as Jade probably busted some lyrics ta you last week, we're bustin dis easier on ourselves by switchin off n' bustin tha publishin AND tha props every last muthafuckin weekend. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! So dat means dat you should leave fuckin shitloadz of pretty props cuz mah responses is so much mo' funk than hers. Fuck dat shit, just kidding, Jade is wonderful. But I be wonderfull-er XD

AN: I sed stup fflamin I no his nam iznt tom bodil dat wuz a mistak!1111 if u dnot lik de rap den u kan go skrew urself!11111 U SUK!111111

"Hi." I holla'd flirtily. "Im Enoby Way da freshly smoked up student." I shok mah pale handz wif they blak noil polish wif his muthafuckin ass.

"Da namez Tom." he holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "But u kan call mah crazy ass Satan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Datz ma middle nam"

Our thugged-out asses shok hands. "Well come on our crazy-ass asses have 2 go upstairs." Satan holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I followed his muthafuckin ass. "Yo Satan.....do u happen ta be a gangbangin' hustla of Gren Day?" (sinz mcr n' evinezenz dont exist yet den) I axed.

"Oh mah fukin god, how tha fuck did u know?" Satan gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "muthafuckin I like gc a shitload too."(geddit coz gc did dat cold lil' woo wop I just wanna live thatz ounded straight-up 80s)

"omg mah crazy ass too!" I replied happily.

"guess what tha fuck they gots a cold-ass lil concert up in hogsment." satan whispered.

"hogsment?" I axed.

"yeah thatz what tha fuck they used ta booty-call it up in these time before it became Hogsmeade up in 2000." he busted some lyrics ta mah crazy ass all sekrtivly. "and theres a straight-up def shop called Hot-"

'topic!" I finshed, aiiight again.

Dude froned trippinly. "noo its called Hot Ishoo." Dude smiled skrtvli again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "then up in 1998 dey changd it ta hot topic." he moaned.

"ohh." now everythang was bustin sense fo' mah dirty ass. "so is dumblydor yo' princepill?" I shouted.

"uh-huh." he looked at his black nails. "im up in slitherin'"

"OMfG SHME TOO!" I SHRIEDKED.

"u go ta dis skull?"(geddit cos im goffik) he axed.

"yah thatz why im here im NEW." I SMELLED HAPPili.

Guess what, muthafucka! Suddenly dumblydore flew up in on his broomstuck n' started shreddin at our asses angrily. "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!" he had short blonde afro n' was bustin a polo hoodie from Amrikan ogle outfters. "STUPID GOFFS!"

satan rolled his wild lil' fuckin eyes. "his so mean ta our asses goffs n' punks just becose we're up in slytherine n' we're not preps."

I turned around angrily. "muthafuckin I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord."

"wtf?" he axed angrily.

"oh nuffin." I holla'd sweetly.

then suddenlyn.... tha floor opened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly."

"hey where r u goin?" satan axed as I fell.

I gots outta tha hole n it was bak up in tha pensive up in professor trevolryz classroom. dumblydum wuz dere. "dumblydore I be thinkin I just kicked it wit u." I holla'd.

"oh yeah I rememba that." dumblydor holla'd, tryin ta be all goffik.

sinista came in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "hey dis is mah classroom wait wtf enoby what tha fuck da hell r u bustin?"

:"um." I looked at her muthafuckin ass.

"oh yeaH I forgot bout that."

"wth how?" I screamed forgettin her ass was a mackdaddy fo' a second. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! but shes a goff so its ok.

professor sinsta looked sad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "um I was drankin voldemortserum." her ass started ta cry black tearz of depression. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. dumblydum didn't give a fuck bout them.

"hey r u bustin up like a biatch tearz of blood?" he axed curiously, tuchin a tear.

"fuck off!" our crazy-ass asses both holla'd n' dumblydum took his hand away.

professor sinsta started bustin up like a biatch again up in her chair, sobbin limpid tears. "omfg enoby...I be thinkin im buggin up on Voldemortserum."

I like how it how it completely butchers song lyrics, this thing is great.
For example:

klaynexas3:

Genesis chapter 1: And Dogg holla'd, "Let there be light," n' boo-ya.. there was a shitload of weed.

Holy shizzle dis muthafuckin thang is phat

It be a truth universally bigged up, dat a single playa up in possession of a phat fortune, must be up in want of a ho.

The epic opening line of Pride n' Prejudice.

Read it now:

http://www.gizoogle.net/index.php?search=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gutenberg.org%2Ffiles%2F1342%2F1342-h%2F1342-h.htm&se=Gizoogle+Dis+Shiznit#link2HCH0001

I just Hamlet's famous 'To Be or Not to Be' speech through that. Good god, that's amazing...

I used it on a Morrowind Fan Fiction I started writing... oh man. It improves it 100 time over.

"Destroyin our culture wit yo' damn Imperial towers n' soldiers aside, why tha sudden attention on tha bidnizz of assassinations?" Da Dunmer scoffed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da biatch once again found her muthafuckin ass weighin up her options. Either her ass refused ta say anythang n' gots her throat slit, and her ass answered his ass as dopest her ass could n' gave her muthafuckin ass a cold-ass lil chizzle ta turn tha tablez on tha Dunmer. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass."

image

I genuinely can't help but feel that this a bit racist...
What would a 19th century version of this website look like?
Probably something with Al Jolson...
Bamboogle?

humanity is awsome sometimes, this is pure, unadultered epic win on a silver platter. I LOVE IT :D

 Pages 1 2 NEXT

Reply to Thread

This thread is locked