Could You Date A Transexual? Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 . . . 22 NEXT | |
In theory I could, if I was attracted to them. But I wouldn't be attracted to them if it was obvious they used to be a man. And therein lies the problem. I've got a pretty bad case of confirmation bias because the only transsexuals I've known have been M->F and really, really looked like men. But then that's the only way I've ever known they were transexuals. So there could be loads of transwomen around me that I never even notice. And if I didn't notice before, and they're physically a woman, and I'm attracted to them, why should I care what their DNA is? One does not light a candle, put "Jamais Loin de Toi" on the stereo and then make out with DNA. | |
Afraid not. I genuinely believe they have psychological issues that I don't really want to have to deal with. Also, I want the option of having children. I don't even like cosmetic surgery (excepting to restore those injured, for example), let alone such a drastic thing. I think doctors are irresponsible for even offering such a service, demand or not. | |
Most modern trans-surgery is pretty hard to spot. It's not like they're getting a third arm or anything. I expect if no one told you, you'd be none the wiser. Unless you just have a straight up surgery phobia, and wouldn't date a woman who'd had her spleen removed or something. | |
What you've described there is pretty much what the paragon of a poor transition looks like. The jaw and face are taken care of by a combination of Hormones and Facial Feminization Surgery, body hair is usually taken off by laser treatment or electrolysis, and the shoulders are taken care of surgically or hormonally(depending on the age during transition). Hand size is genetic, so if you've got big hands, you're unfortunately kinda stuck with them (I got lucky in this department though). Now I'm going to set the record straight: the average Transwoman is nowhere near what you've described. Maybe 20, 30 years ago it wold be true, but not today. I'll agree with you on one thing though: I don't see this thread ending well. OP: I am a Transsexual woman. Would I date one of my own? Well, since my sexual preference is women and I share something of a deep, visceral bond with anyone that identifies as such, yeah, I could and would. You know how in The Avengers Tony Stark and Bruce Banner get along quite well due to knowing each other on that deeper sort of level? It's kinda like that. We generally know each-others' pain. | |
Well i'm married so it's not something that's likely to come up (unless me and the missus split but I doubt that's likely plus i'm so far out of touch with "the dating scene" I wouldn't know where to begin if we did). As a self confessed "manly man" it's one subject I should be able to stamp my foot down on but I can't. I've known a few trans women in my time and i've found a few of them attractive and got on quite well with them. | |
A lot depends on when you transition and how much money you put into that transition. Girls who transition in their early or late teens and can afford facial feminization (or who have naturally feminine features to begin with) can make completely convincing women. Girls who transition in their 30's or 40's once they've developed a complete set of masculine secondary sexual characteristics are going to make stocky, masculine looking women. And due to a persistent bigotry towards transsexuals (it's still very much "acceptable" to openly discriminate against them, even in the LBG community) a lot of people will put that transition off for a great many years. I don't even know why I'm telling you this, though, I feel like I'm getting into a bible quoting competition with the Pope. It'd be nice if we just a pill that you could scarf down that would let you seamlessly transition to your gender of choice, but we don't, so c'est la vie. While we're at it, it's a shame that I am not Iron Man, and that I don't have a billion dollars. | |
And in this thread, we learn why life is difficult for transgender people. Personally, I have to say that it would be a bit weird, and it would be an issue we would have to deal with, but if there's genuine attraction and affection there, it doesn't need to be a stumbling block. Relationships consist of people, and people are different, and there are always going to be issues that need resolution. Love is a pretty powerful tool for that. I think it's a bit weird how adamant people are to not allow other people to define their own identity when gender is involved. Gender identity isn't as rigid as people at large seem to want it to be, and even biological sex is not binary. Just look at all the various intersex conditions that exist. | |
Women are crazy, so if there were someone who fit my other dating criteria with a man's mind, and a woman's parts, I think I'd be all over that. | |
Assuming I wasn't with anyone already, I would. I would in a heartbeat. I really couldn't care less if they were trans or not. | |
I don't know- I don't think I would. | |
If I never wanted to have kids, I would agree 100% with this. The only issue is that I do want to have kids at somepoint, which means that I would be unable to have a child with the "woman" that I was in love with. | |
No. I'm boring and predictable that way. | |
Yep. I don't give a fuck. Bailey Jay. 'Nuff said. | |
No, because I'm fairly certain my wife would not approve. | |
Marry me. <3
Why wouldn't you enjoy it, out of curiosity?
Yeah, how horrible of doctors to offer to treat an actual medical phenomena because your prejudices don't accept it. Personally, I find it irresponsible of teachers to tell kids the Earth is (roughly) round, when I believe it is a flat square held aloft by four alicorns.
I bet "he" will really enjoy that statement. Try it. I bet it scores you some serious points. :|
Aaaaand you could describe a lot of "real" women that way.
All in all, I'd say dating is pretty low on the list. In most states you can be denied jobs, loans, and a lot of your rights. People still look the other way when a transsexual is attacked or raped. Half of transsexuals will attempt suicide, and half will be dead by thirty (through their own hands or others). [1] Some distant mystical future | |
Agreed about what Amaranth said about science. The lack of knowledge about the subject here is depressing. Most medical practitioners offer the service because it is kinda proven that the chromosomes don't make the man or woman, it's the hormone wash during fetal development. The brain forms a sexual blueprint then, and if that blueprint is different than the body, then people like us happen. Our brain chemistry is generally a match to the target sex, rather than to our origin. | |
True enough, but I doubt they're delighted with their figures either. All transsexuals may not aspire to be beautiful women, but I rather expect they all aspire to be convincing women. If nothing else it makes their lives a hell of a lot easier. | |
I can't really think of any reason why I wouldn't have done so anytime before I found the love of my life. He even told me he would have been very willing to be with a Transexual; that he doesn't care what someone's body is like. Although he's very, very Bisexual, so I'm sure that contributed to it. | |
It'd be hard to deal with at first, but I always try to live by the philosophy of seeing people not to be judged but to be loved. Who you were has no sway on me in the sense of who you are now. If you were a man that became a woman, congratulations it must have been tough. If it was kept under wraps from me for awhile if we were dating that would being up more of a trust issue than a question on my sexuality. So yeah, I've got no problem with it, I've even had a crush on someone that had changed (the change occurred before I had a crush, she was a woman at that point). Everyone is beautiful to me, so I have nothing preventing that sort of relationship. | |
Well I wasn't speaking of dating specifically, although humans are social by nature and I wouldn't diminish the psychological stress of having such difficulty finding meaningful romantic partnerships. I was talking more about perception. "I don't care who you think you are, I know better," and taken to its extreme, "How dare you deceive me!?" is at the heart of this thread, and all the issues you raised. | |
I wouldn't see it as a problem so yes. She would be a she now and certainly a strong women to be brave enough to go through with it. | |
I recognize that name. generally attractive Pornstar, if I remember correctly. She's generally a pretty good example of what us younger transwomen look like, or are aiming to look like. | |
Woo, another QC reader! On Topic: It depends. For one, regardless of any other factors I would need to find them at least somewhat physically attractive. Because of my personal tastes, I'm far more likely to be attracted to a transguy as opposed to a transgirl, but I am not inherently opposed. Both of these things would also apply to transgendered peoples. | |
Shet, I got ninja'd? On this topic of all things? But yeah. I don't see what the problem is. | |
Interesting arc to say the least. Just hope he doesn't screw it up. As for your question. If we are attracted to each other then yes. | |
A guy who went under the knife to look like an attractive female with a personality I enjoy would be very much date-able by me. | |
I don't really think I could. I wouldn't be able to get past the mentality of her being originally a male. I feel bad that I can't get past the physical, but I am about as straight as you can get really. I guess it is just a mental barrier and maybe I could get past it someday, but right now, I don't think I could. | |
Yes, I would. That kinda thing doesn't bother me. There's not much more I can say about it. I don't see the problem. | |
So you know, more the point of transgendered is "mind and parts don't match".[1] Transexual means that "mind and body now match, but both are different from birth sex".[2] To say that a person "has a man's mind and a woman's parts" would more accurately refer to a transgendered male. Side note about terminology:1) transgendered VS transsexual - difference between mind and parts VS surgery to make the mind and parts match 2) trans[X] guy/male VS trans[X] girl/female - in all cases, you are supposed to use the individuals preferred gender. A male mind in a girls body is a transgendered guy, a person born a guy who had surgery to become a girl is a transexual girl. 3) trans[X] vs non-trans[X] - this is more a side note about a side note, but it is a bit mean/insensitive to call people who aren't trans "normal".[3] The terminology for a male born with a mans parts is "cis male"/"cis guy" and for a girl with girl parts is "cis girl" or "cis female". 3.5) I dunno what "cis" refers to specifically. | |
Sure. As long as she looks like my type of woman, yeah definitely. And, you know, some sort of mutual attraction too I guess... | |
I've recently curiously realized I had unknowingly changed my stance on the male reproductive organ. Whatever is between one's legs does not concern me so much anymore. It's the overal physique and look that is of influence over me. I can't much enjoy masculinity or a manly look to a person. So, the obvious answer is yes, I could possibly. EDIT: So if they turn the penis inside out it's fine too, yes. | |
I'd like to think I'm open minded, but I wouldn't know unless I was in that scenario. There are a few problems however. 1, If I was aware of their transition, I'm not confident I would see past that. Again, I'd like to think I'm open minded, but I have had no experience engaging with a transsexual (that I'm aware of) and can't say how I would react to that knowledge. 2, I'd prefer to know in advance... this is pretty much a catch 22 for the individual I'm courting. If they don't tell me right away this could create a problem in the future if we are still together. But if they did tell me we would be back to the first problem. One could say I could be kept in complete ignorance of the fact, but there are a few scenarios where the truth can slip. Dealing with their family and planning a family as examples. This would create a double whammy effect (betrayal of trust and coming to terms with that bomb of a revelation) and I'd seriously question the viability of a relationship in that situation. Finally, I have a slight issue with surgical modification. It's mostly irrational, but I can't shake it... I have a strong preference for naturals. This isn't just against transgendered individuals, but everyone. Heck, it doesn't even have to be surgical, I find a lot of cosmetic "improvements" towards women off putting. Hair dye (within reason), Nail Varnish and fake nails (I just think it looks tacky), Eye Liner (its face painting), Shaved pits and pubic regions... It's weird that we are living in a world where attraction to a completely natural form is considered fetishistic. I'm NOT totally intolerant to these things, but to the extend and frequency that most girls I know use them, I have issues. It betrays more self confidence issues then it hides superficial flaws. In short I have a strong preference for Au Naturales. | |
Could I date a transsexual? Yeah. Though most likely I may not end up dating at all at this rate. I would add more content to this post but I am too busy marveling at all the bizarre rules people are putting up in relation to transsexuals. The whole "would like to know beforehand" thing bothers me because quite literally they are whatever they identify as anyway. Seems unnecessarily discriminatory. Another troublesome thing is how people compare the act of dating another human along the same lines of some sort of fictional pornography. | |
You know, it doesn't mean because I enjoy Futanari Hentai comics, I will enjoy this in real life. Seriously now, nope, I will never do something like that. Reason? Because I know deep inside me......want his penis deep inside me...... | |
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This has actually been on my mind of late as someone I know is planning the operation and I find him very attractive as a man, even more so when he "ladies" it up, and have been considering trying for some dates or whatever.
But I'm not sure in the long term, I want kids one day, preferable my own biological kids with my partner so I'm not sure whether I'd be able to stay with someone that couldn't give me this.