OkCupid Tumblrs

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There are many things on the internet that make me rage, and a few that make my blood boil. One such trend is OkCupid Tumblrs. Blogs such as Fedoras of OKC, OKC Gold Mine, and formerly Nice Guys of OKC (before they were shut down) like to post pics of random people (98% men) and show off what dicks/losers they are to the delight of hipster girls everywhere.

It just pisses me off so much. These are lonely people putting themselves in a very vulnerable place, hoping to find someone to spend time with. Now, you have to worry about someone taking a screencap and posting it up for the whole world to laugh at.

Some of them are like, "Damn, what a creep," but most are like "LOOK AT THIS GUY, HE SAYS HE WOULDN'T WANT TO DATE A GIRL WHO'S SLEPT WITH OVER 100 MEN. WHAT AN ASSHOLE."

The worst part is when they try to hide behind the cover of feminism. They rail against "slut-shaming," "fat-shaming," and enjoying offensive jokes, because they don't think people should be judged by others for the way they choose to live their lives. And they do this by... publicly humiliating people for the way they choose to live their lives.

It just makes me so very angry. Whenever some girl on my feed reblogs one of their posts, it ruins my day a little.

I'd suggest starting the same for them. You don't have to look very hard to find crazy people anywhere.

Of course you'll have to defend yourself against accusations of misogyny, but that's par for the course. Simply tell them you'll stop when they do.

Edit - to be fair, I went through some and found quite a few women on their too, so it's not *entirely* one sided.

Some of them are like, "Damn, what a creep," but most are like "LOOK AT THIS GUY, HE SAYS HE WOULDN'T WANT TO DATE A GIRL WHO'S SLEPT WITH OVER 100 MEN. WHAT AN ASSHOLE."

Actually that question goes, "Is a girl who has slept with over 100 men a bad person?"

All these blogs do is take information that has been published anonymously in a public place ... and repost it anonymously in another public place. I'm glad that you have so much sympathy for guys who start sentences with "I'm not racist but..." and send random girls messages that just say "nice tits", but I can't personally get too worked up over douchebag-shaming.

That's not to say I'm a fan of those blogs either. Some of the entries are funny but others are just a bit too catty for my taste.

Boots said it pretty well. With the questions about leg shaving or amount of sex, it's not about which you like more. It's about whether women have an obligation to keep your legs shaved, or whether a woman who has lots of sex is a bad person. It's not a question of "Would you date someone who does this". Pretty dickish to say someone who enjoys sex, or doesn't feel the need to make sure random people like their legs is a bad person.

Not to mention, a lot of those people are really awful human beings.

Besides, they are just taking pictures and information that is meant to be looked at. They're not looking up shameful videos or posting anything that the person would rather keep private. That said, I still don't like the blogs too much. They're unnecessarily harsh sometimes, and some of the things they mock people for are stupid, like for being a brony.

General Twinkletoes:

Not to mention, a lot of those people are really awful human beings.

You said it, but there's still mocking people for their looks. And that isn't alright.

Edit: And their political views.

Realitycrash:

General Twinkletoes:

Not to mention, a lot of those people are really awful human beings.

You said it, but there's still mocking people for their looks. And that isn't alright.

Well, fashion sense, but I get what you mean.

General Twinkletoes:

Realitycrash:

General Twinkletoes:

Not to mention, a lot of those people are really awful human beings.

You said it, but there's still mocking people for their looks. And that isn't alright.

Well, fashion sense, but I get what you mean.

I also found this:
"- have you ever had emails over this????? omg i think i'm being sued
niceguysofokc-deactivated201301

- yes actually tumblr took one of my photos down cuz one of the fedoras complained about him being on my blog :c i hope u dont get sued we arent rly breaking the law??"

I am fairly certain that slander is considered breaking the law, and I am sure SOMEONE of all the men posted have a case for it.

Realitycrash:

General Twinkletoes:

Realitycrash:

You said it, but there's still mocking people for their looks. And that isn't alright.

Well, fashion sense, but I get what you mean.

I also found this:
"- have you ever had emails over this????? omg i think i'm being sued
niceguysofokc-deactivated201301

- yes actually tumblr took one of my photos down cuz one of the fedoras complained about him being on my blog :c i hope u dont get sued we arent rly breaking the law??"

I am fairly certain that slander is considered breaking the law, and I am sure SOMEONE of all the men posted have a case for it.

They aren't going to get sued over it or anything, but tumblr can take the blog down. They evidently don't have a very good case though, because the other 2 are still up, and I know they've both got tons of complaints.

I think half the reason niceguysofokc stopped was because the owner got bored, or stopped for some other reason. She left and was replaced by some other people for about a day before the thing stopped for good. It takes a lot to shut some places down. Think of how long places like reddit.com/r/creepshots[1] and r/jailbait[2] stayed around. They're 10x worse than this, but it took a long time to take them down.

[1] A place to post revealing pictures of unsuspecting, often underage women in public to fap over
[2] Similar, but for exclusively underage women

So... Basically, they are doing what many here did with the "I need feminism" pictures in that massive thread, but are using dating site info instead. Rage time? Don't really see a problem here. :\

anyone notice all (that i seen) posts are guys and feel this is just a couple of pissed off jaded women or guys trying to make themselves look better?

seriously i don't get the point of half of these. most are just as simple as "i don't date outside my race" " i disagree with abortion" or "i'm a nice guy. suck my cock"
isn't the whole point of dating surveys to find someone you are compatible with even if that means you are after a white supremacist, antiabortion cock sucking nice guy liker? considering this is a game forum you could pretty easily draw parallels there. if you don't like a game don't play it and maybe someone else will.

I'm not certain I see what the foundation of the debate here is. A person can make a statement about preference for a style of grooming and be as justified as someone who doesn't. In other cases, the person says something stupid in a public fashion and people rail against them overlooking the obvious fact that the idiot has performed a valuable public service by demonstrating, publicly, that they are an idiot.

Eclectic Dreck:
A person can make a statement about preference for a style of grooming and be as justified as someone who doesn't.

The wording is specifically "obligation". That is different from preference. In other words, it's "do women owe it to you to shave their legs?"

If the question was preference, it'd be totally different. Liking shaved legs isn't a problem, but acting as if women have an obligation to be eyecandy, then that's different. Nobody owes attractiveness to the world. Obviously people should try to be presentable in public, but not shaving legs shouldn't be a requirement for that. Obviously most women are going to shave their legs, because that's what's attractive. That's fine, but people treat it as a sin to not shave.

MajorTomServo:

It just makes me so very angry. Whenever some girl on my feed reblogs one of their posts, it ruins my day a little.

Come on OP, did you even read some of the profiles that the person picked? I think a couple of them are troll profiles.

and that is not even touching racist like this....

General Twinkletoes:

Eclectic Dreck:
A person can make a statement about preference for a style of grooming and be as justified as someone who doesn't.

The wording is specifically "obligation". That is different from preference. In other words, it's "do women owe it to you to shave their legs?"

If the question was preference, it'd be totally different. Liking shaved legs isn't a problem, but acting as if women have an obligation to be eyecandy, then that's different. Nobody owes attractiveness to the world. Obviously people should try to be presentable in public, but not shaving legs shouldn't be a requirement for that. Obviously most women are going to shave their legs, because that's what's attractive. That's fine, but people treat it as a sin to not shave.

Actually, even then I'm perfectly fine with that statement. A person can make such an assertion and still be completely correct. If hairy legs are indeed such a turn off, then any potential responder has an implicit requirement for consideration. It might be a silly requirement but still it serves two important things. First, it lets you know the person's preferences. Second, it informs you of the character and disposition of the individual in question - they paint an advertisement of themselves that isn't terribly favorable.

That said, there is a fine line here. If I say "anyone who dates me is obligated to shave their legs", that's personal preference that extends to a desired action on the part of the mate and is wholly acceptable as the potential mate can decide if they want to meet that requirement and continue the relationship. If someone says "all women are obligated to shave their legs", that imposes your preference upon people without the relationship portion. It becomes unacceptable because you are asserting your preferences override all others and is not longer a matter of personal negotiation.

I'm pretty sure it's a rule of the internet that if you put anything about yourself out there it's open for ridicule. While it may not be right you should expect it.

That and I didn't think any of those pics on those websites where very funny.

Eclectic Dreck:
snip

Well that's the thing, I'm not sure if that question (or the people answering it) are talking about partners or women in general. Other similar questions specify "someone you would date" or "your potential partner", stuff like that. This question just asks "Women". I sort of understand not dating anyone who doesn't shave legs, it's a turnoff for me too. Saying it's a deal breaker is very, very picky IMO, but eh, if it's such a big deal to you.

Like you said, there's a fine line. I think this question is asking in general, since most other questions specified, but it's difficult to tell.

Helmholtz Watson:

MajorTomServo:

It just makes me so very angry. Whenever some girl on my feed reblogs one of their posts, it ruins my day a little.

Come one OP, did you even read some of the profiles that the person picked? I think a couple of them are troll profiles.

and that is not even touching racist like this....

Oh my god that first one was hilarious.

If you're going to put stuff on the internet, you are making it part of the public domain. In my opinion, if you post something online, you open yourself up to ridicule whether it is unjustified like making fun of the way someone looks, or entirely justified, like making fun of some people extremely poor choice of headgear.

Seriously, people need to learn that fedoras and most other circular brimmed hats look terrible on most people, and anyone found to have committed this heinous crime against fashion deserves all the ridicule they get.

Though some of the guys shown on the blogs aren't bad at all (at least to me), some of the really bad ones make me laugh. I don't get the problem with men wanting shaved legs though. As a woman, I hate the look and feeling of having my legs hairy, and I certainly wouldn't want my man seeing them like that, though I guess that just boils down to preference. Yeah, these blogs can be harsh, but I am getting a good kick out reading them. A few of the really bad ones remind me of guys who have asked me out and I've turned down or broken up with because they were miserable. Actually, I think I might have actually seen a guy who has asked me out before on the fedora blog. Oh my.

General Twinkletoes:

Eclectic Dreck:
snip

Well that's the thing, I'm not sure if that question (or the people answering it) are talking about partners or women in general. Other similar questions specify "someone you would date" or "your potential partner", stuff like that. This question just asks "Women". I understand not dating anyone who doesn't shave legs, it's a turnoff for me too. Saying it's a deal breaker is very, very picky IMO, but still, I understand it.

Like you said, there's a fine line. I think this question is asking in general, since most other questions specified, but it's difficult to tell.

Fair enough. I think in most cases even when they unashamedly delve into the territory of despicable behavior and/or statements there is something laudable: they demonstrate they are despicable. It helps people quickly discard them into the bin of terrible people so they can focus their efforts on people more suited to their tastes.

Making fun of such people on the other hand is the lowest sort of fun. Pointing out an idiot and inviting others to laugh undermines their willingness to be idiots publicly again. That's a terrible shame because they likely won't stop being idiots - they'll just hide it better. No one wants to find they're dating a terrible person on the second date if it can be avoided.

To be honest, the fedora guys kinda deserve it.

That bitch is right. Fedora's are just awful.

Some of them are hilariously awful. Some of them are probably a little harshly judged. A lot of the questions on those kinda of sites are terribly worded though, so it may be a little bit unfair to judge someone based on their answers.

Like the obligated to shave legs thing. I'm sure some people are answering their preference even if they don't think there is a literal obligation. That's why there's an explanation section... which is often much more damning.

*browses fedoras*

Okay, niceguysof was a better one.

lechat:
anyone notice all (that i seen) posts are guys and feel this is just a couple of pissed off jaded women or guys trying to make themselves look better?

Have evidence of that, do you?

seriously i don't get the point of half of these. most are just as simple as "i don't date outside my race" " i disagree with abortion" or "i'm a nice guy. suck my cock"

In most cases, the humor is that they say things like that while also writing on their profile that they're "nice guys" or tired of women who date jerks.

Katatori-kun:

seriously i don't get the point of half of these. most are just as simple as "i don't date outside my race" " i disagree with abortion" or "i'm a nice guy. suck my cock"

In most cases, the humor is that they say things like that while also writing on their profile that they're "nice guys" or tired of women who date jerks.

but that's just it. it's their right to do exactly that and there is nothing to say you can't be a jew killing nazi and still be a "nice guy" to at least someone in the world. i agree with what was said earlier that it just allows an extra filter level for potential dates.

must be a nice guy. check
must hate blacks and asians. check
must respect the fact that i don't shave my legs. fail
next candidate

i once had a girlfriend with (what i consider) a quite an over the top rape fetish. basically if a sexual encounter didn't end with a black eye or a broken bone she wasn't satisfied but if you asked her what she liked about me as a boyfriend she would tell you that it was good not to date a jerk and to finally be with someone who respected her. not to say she wasn't fucked in the head but it goes to show there are different definitions of nice.

lechat:

Katatori-kun:

seriously i don't get the point of half of these. most are just as simple as "i don't date outside my race" " i disagree with abortion" or "i'm a nice guy. suck my cock"

In most cases, the humor is that they say things like that while also writing on their profile that they're "nice guys" or tired of women who date jerks.

but that's just it. it's their right to do exactly that and there is nothing to say you can't be a jew killing nazi and still be a "nice guy" to at least someone in the world.

We don't live in their world, and their inability to recognize that the population of people who actually do live in their world is terribly small is what drives the humor.

MajorTomServo:
There are many things on the internet that make me rage, and a few that make my blood boil. One such trend is OkCupid Tumblrs. Blogs such as Fedoras of OKC, OKC Gold Mine, and formerly Nice Guys of OKC (before they were shut down) like to post pics of random people (98% men) and show off what dicks/losers they are to the delight of hipster girls everywhere.

It just pisses me off so much. These are lonely people putting themselves in a very vulnerable place, hoping to find someone to spend time with. Now, you have to worry about someone taking a screencap and posting it up for the whole world to laugh at.

Some of them are like, "Damn, what a creep," but most are like "LOOK AT THIS GUY, HE SAYS HE WOULDN'T WANT TO DATE A GIRL WHO'S SLEPT WITH OVER 100 MEN. WHAT AN ASSHOLE."

The worst part is when they try to hide behind the cover of feminism. They rail against "slut-shaming," "fat-shaming," and enjoying offensive jokes, because they don't think people should be judged by others for the way they choose to live their lives. And they do this by... publicly humiliating people for the way they choose to live their lives.

It just makes me so very angry. Whenever some girl on my feed reblogs one of their posts, it ruins my day a little.

Considering the overwhelming majority of the posts on those blogs are real jerks posting some incredibly backwards stuff on their profiles at best, and some frightening stuff at worst, I'd say they deserve the shame. It's a nice cue to everyone else "See this: DON'T DO THIS!"

Katatori-kun:

lechat:

Katatori-kun:

In most cases, the humor is that they say things like that while also writing on their profile that they're "nice guys" or tired of women who date jerks.

but that's just it. it's their right to do exactly that and there is nothing to say you can't be a jew killing nazi and still be a "nice guy" to at least someone in the world.

We don't live in their world, and their inability to recognize that the population of people who actually do live in their world is terribly small is what drives the humor.

but again we do live in their world and until there is an antiblack/wifebeating/fedorra only dating site there will continue to be ppl who have vastly different opinions but are still looking for love and genuinely consider themselves as a decent match for someone

if i remember right there are some christian and muslim dating sites out there and while it may be considered perfectly normal to seek some gay loving on the average dating site if you done so on one of those websites odds are you would be ridiculed on the more conservative ones. again all about perspective

lechat:

Katatori-kun:

lechat:

but that's just it. it's their right to do exactly that and there is nothing to say you can't be a jew killing nazi and still be a "nice guy" to at least someone in the world.

We don't live in their world, and their inability to recognize that the population of people who actually do live in their world is terribly small is what drives the humor.

but again we do live in their world

Nope, sorry. Any world where a "nice guy" can also be a racist/sexist/homophobe is not my world. In my world being a "nice guy" and "not one of the jerks" precludes casual bigotry.

and until there is an antiblack/wifebeating/fedorra only dating site there will continue to be ppl who have vastly different opinions but are still looking for love and genuinely consider themselves as a decent match for someone

None of this is any good reason not to laugh at them.

if i remember right there are some christian and muslim dating sites out there and while it may be considered perfectly normal to seek some gay loving on the average dating site if you done so on one of those websites odds are you would be ridiculed on the more conservative ones. again all about perspective

What's your point? "Different people like different things" is not a valid reason to ignore blatant cognitive dissonance.

MajorTomServo:

Some of them are like, "Damn, what a creep," but most are like "LOOK AT THIS GUY, HE SAYS HE WOULDN'T WANT TO DATE A GIRL WHO'S SLEPT WITH OVER 100 MEN. WHAT AN ASSHOLE."

Uhh... the question I see is, "Is a girl who's slept with 100 guys a bad person?". Answer, "yes". So, yeah... dick response. Some seem rather cruel to pick on, yes, others are a bit of fun, plenty are highlighted because they genuinely seem like misogynistic and/or outmoded pricks, including questionable attitudes towards race relations.

The OP just comes across as the latest apologist for terrible attitudes towards women - and to an extent the whole "poor old white man" schtick - that this site, and the hobby in general, has a rather embarrassing problem with. It is not the fault of women-kind that some of these guys are clearly off their rocker when it comes to gender relations.

It's also getting rather tiring seeing variations on the logical loop hole of "you're an intolerant person if you don't tolerate intolerant opinions".

Oh, and fedoras really are fucking horrendous.

They're sometimes a little bit mean-spirited, but overall I've found them to be a good source of humour when I'm bored.

I admit, that's very dicky to the people being the "butt" of it, but fedoras are pretty bad hats with normal clothing.

Not cool. Dating makes you vulnerable. It's kind of cruel to peck at these vulnerabilities. These are people putting themselves out there in search of love and being openly mocked; for what? Their choice of hat? Is the world really an elementary school yard in maturity?

Yeah it's kind of a dick move to republish those photos and mock people. In particular those people that don't even write anything douche-y.

It is always a risk, especially online, that information and pictures can end up where you don't intend them to.

Off topic: I think the only thing offensive about the question "Do Women have an obligation to shave their legs?" is the word obligation. Makes you wonder why they even include a question like that when they could say something like "Do you prefer women who shave their legs?" which is far less inflammatory.

I... don't see what the big deal is. Most of these people are clearly assholes.

Edit:

Bellvedere:
Off topic: I think the only thing offensive about the question "Do Women have an obligation to shave their legs?" is the word obligation. Makes you wonder why they even include a question like that when they could say something like "Do you prefer women who shave their legs?" which is far less inflammatory.

I think many of the questions are inflammatory by design to serve as sort of a litmus test. I've never used Okc, but it's a feature I'd appreciate having if I ever did use it. A big part of online dating seems to be wading through tons of profiles of people you wouldn't date to find the few that you would. A "yes" answer to something like that question, or questions like "Would the world be better if people with low IQs weren't allowed to reproduce?" or "Are there circumstances in which a person is obligated to have sex with you?" are meant to instantly disqualify people so you can move on to the next profile.

Especially that last one, hooooly shit. "Hi, I'm a nice guy who loves dogs and long walks on the beach and candlelit dinners and I live life to the fullest with no regrets and oh by the way I will potentially rape you."

Edit2:

f1r2a3n4k5:
Not cool. Dating makes you vulnerable. It's kind of cruel to peck at these vulnerabilities. These are people putting themselves out there in search of love and being openly mocked; for what? Their choice of hat? Is the world really an elementary school yard in maturity?

You should click the link. They're not being shamed for wearing fedoras; they're being shamed for saying/believing stupid things, with the fedoras being incidental. (That is, there are so many people who say things like this on Okc that a silly constraint like "also they wear a fedora" is a fun theme that pares the number of submissions down to a reasonable amount.)

Like the "unapologetic masculine man" who is perfectly willing to rape a drunk woman, the frankly scary-looking guy who uses evolution to justify female subservience to male authority, or the absurdly narcissistic, Borg-like fellow who claims that most of "the masses" are "savage, under-developed and under-educated barbarians."

image
Can someone play this for me? I would like a sad song for the nice guys and a jaunty pirate tune for the fedoras.

I seem to remember the trend got started when people got sick of hearing, "Women r shallow bitches who only like to date assholes and the nice guys get put in the friend zone hey gurl when u r all lonely and ur wishing you had a REAL MAN and ur wondrin where all the nice guyz r well GUESS WHAT we're in the friend zone where u LEFT US."

So these Tumblrs not only highlight some of the aforementioned "nice guys" and show how their perception of themselves might be a little skewed, they also demonstrate that women don't just date assholes by showcasing the assholes who can't seem to get dates.

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